Alpha male body language.
What is it, and why is it important?
As a powerful alpha male, you want to be the best, most capable, most charismatic man in the room.
An alpha absolutely exists at the top of his social dominance hierarchies.
He strives to be the best that he can be, every single day.
He strives for excellence. He wants to win in business, in his personal life, with women, in the hobbies he enjoys, etc.
He wants to put his very best foot forward, in everything he chooses to do.
And he plays to win… not just to get by.
But learning to be charismatic does not come naturally to everyone.
In fact, some people struggle with it.
If you are on the alpha male journey and are trying to figure out how to be an alpha male, you need to level-up your body-language abilities and alpha male posturing.
If you want to win in business, in sales, and especially with women… these are skills that you need to master.
You cannot just make excuses for why you have bad body language. But you can play to your strengths.
Let’s talk about that.
What Is An Alpha Male Man?
To understand alpha male body language, you first need to understand what an alpha male is.
An alpha male is a man who has learned to take direct control over his life, lives intentionally, strives for excellence, steps up as a leader, and lives his life to be the very best version of himself that he can possibly be.
He knows what he wants, and he is not afraid to pursue it. Keep in mind… he is a risk taker, because he believes in himself. And alpha body language will be a direct manifestation of that.
He constantly grows, adapts, and levels up. He never stagnates. He’s always working to improve himself, and he is always mindful of his goals and priorities.
He is bold, confident, calculating, strategic, ambitious…
… and charismatic!
If you want to learn about my personal alpha male code, the Oath of Kings, check out this post.
What Does This Have To Do With Alpha Male Body Language?
Knowing and understanding what an alpha male is is essential to understanding alpha male body language.
Because walking this path requires you to continually level yourself up in all kinds of different ways.
If you want to…
- Succeed in business
- Succeed in forming new relationships
- Assimilate well into social situations
- Succeed with women and dating
… then you absolutely need to understand and practice body language.
At the very least, you need to understand what not to do in any given social setting!
Body language is incredibly important for alpha males. From maintaining eye contact, to maintaining the correct posture, alpha males understand that proper body language habits will help them to look their best, win with women, impress other men, and send their levels of charisma skyrocketing.
The Alpha Male Mindset In Social Settings
In any given social setting, the alpha male mindset is going to be one of quiet power, calculated prowess, and subtle leadership.
You are fully capable of handling whatever a social situation may throw at you.
You are not intimidated.
You are comfortable in your skin. You make eye contact. You maintain a powerful posture, and you look good doing it.
You have nothing to prove to anyone, and you know that.
Rather than feeling self conscious in social settings, you are outgoing and confident.
You are confident because you do not see yourself as someone being evaluated.
You don’t care if other people evaluate you.
Either they will see you as the powerful, influential man that you are… or they will be wrong about you!
You do not fear their criticisms.
Why should you?
What Is Alpha Behavior? 11 Tips For Achieving Alpha Male Body Language Skills That Will Help You To DOMINATE Any Social Situation You Are Presented With
As you walk into any social setting… whether it be to meet a beautiful woman you want to introduce yourself to, powerful business people, a party with people you don’t know, a crowded night-club, a swanky bar, etc… you need to ask yourself one question.
What is the role of an alpha male in this setting?
You need to think about this conceptually, and look upon yourself from an outside perspective.
You need to think about not only your role in this room, but also your purpose… and how those two blend together to create the apex human animal you’ve developed yourself to be.
Embody the true ideals of the alpha, and think about what those ideals mean when you translate them directly to your behavior.
Here are the tips you need to get started.
1… Always Think Before You Act
In every social situation, it is especially important to think before you act.
It can be easy to speak too quickly when you get excited… but try to avoid this mistake!
Don’t be afraid to take a few moments before answering questions or speaking up, regardless of whether you are talking to men or women.
Remember. As an alpha male, you are on your own time, not on anyone else’s.
In fact, waiting a few seconds to ponder the question before answering not only helps you to give your best response or answer… but also sends a subtle message to the people around you.
You are in control of any discussion you are taking part in.
You cannot be rattled. You cannot be made anxious. You are immovable, unwavering, and 100% in control of your own state of mind.
2… How Do You Talk Like An Alpha Male?
When speaking as an alpha, you need to find a balance between your own natural, unique self, and learning to speak from a position of power, authority, experience, and self-assurance.
Controlled vocal intonations are the hallmark of a powerful alpha.
Laughing too loudly can be obnoxious.
Speaking in tones that are too soft can come off as weak.
Raising your voice at a moment where it is not strategic to do so can make you look like a bumbling fool.
Making strange vocal intonations, inflections, or noises can also come off as weird… and can make the people around you re-evaluate whether or not to take you seriously.
As an alpha, you want to command a powerful presence. But you need to balance this with being authentic.
Be a man of few words. But let your words hold value and gravity when you do choose to speak.
If you always speak with a good, even, controlled, polite tone, then even the smallest change in your intonation can cause people to turn their heads… and powerful alpha men use these subtle language changes to command the attention of a room when the time comes to do so.
It is all about control. Smile, laugh, respond, react, and speak in controlled, friendly, respectful tones.
When the time comes for something more extreme, let that change also be subtle.
An alpha never loses control. There are no screaming matches for you. Passive aggression is not a tool in your tool chest. You are above these petty, lesser forms of communication.
You are stronger and more controlled than that.
3… Properly Engaging With Others
When you choose to engage with someone, show them that you mean to do so by standing to face them, and looking at them with your full attention.
Make eye contact. Your posture should be tall, proud, and open… your back straight, you shoulders back.
Your feet should be pointed toward them.
For an alpha, who is usually rather controlled and subdued in movement, this is a power move.
For example… when a beautiful woman walks up to you, turn toward her if you plan to actually engage with her.
Move your arms out away from your body. Don’t have your hands in your pockets, or your arms crossed over your chest.
You want this to be subtle, but open your arms just a little bit… as if conveying the metaphor that you are greeting this person with open arms.
If you are pleased to see this person, smile.
If not, then do not.
Speak directly to them. Put your phone away. Let your decision to engage with this person be powerful and direct.
If you are sitting, turn toward this person. Sit in a relaxed state, let your arms rest open, and lean slightly toward the object of your engagement to show more intensity.
Lean back comfortably to show that your demeanor is more casual.
If done properly, these subtle changes in posture can make whoever you are talking to, men or women, feel very special for being engaged with by you.
And that is as it should be.
Interacting with you should make the other person feel significant. It should make them feel more important.
And you show them this by intentionally engaging with them, and treating the encounter as if it is important to you as well.
All of this, and more, can be conveyed with simple eye contact, body language, and good, even posture.
(Want more tips for how to engage with attractive, high-value women? Check out my post 13 Tips For How To Treat A Woman here!)
4… Always Be Evaluating… Never Strive To Impress
One of the biggest mistakes that men make when dealing with high-value women or groups of powerful, important people is that they often feel self-conscious, as if they are being evaluated by others, and are trying to win approval.
You must abandon this habit immediately. A true alpha never strives to win approval.
He already approves of himself, and that is all that matters to him.
He might work diligently to show that he takes this encounter seriously, but he will not perform circus acts to try to change someone else’s opinion of him.
When addressing a beautiful woman, engage with her and welcome her into your space.
Never approach women from behind, if it can be helped. Approach her from the front, where she can see you coming. Approaching from behind can trigger a natural fear-response in women, which will not work to your advantage.
Instead of focusing on yourself, as if you are the one being evaluated… focus on her, as if she is the one being evaluated.
This is very subtle.
- Use small eye movements as you look her up and down, and do not be afraid to make eye contact.
- Use small smiles and nods of approval when she says something you agree with, followed by small ‘eyebrow raises’ and looks of ‘amusement’ and surprise when she says something that you would deem as ‘unacceptable’ or ‘incorrect.’
- You are not ruffled by anything she says. You gently challenge her. You do not react… at least, not emotionally.
Nothing she says has any affect on you, unless you allow it to.
For example… I will choose not to react emotionally when a woman says something offensive. Instead, I may raise my eyebrows in surprise, as if she has just stepped over some kind of imaginary line… and challenge her with a cautious tone.
“Are you sure you believe in that? Do you see the implications of that?”
This challenges her to defend herself, but keeps things light, flirty, and friendly.
If she defends herself well, you reward her with a nod and a smile of approval… which is well-deserved.
Just remember that you are the one doing the evaluating.
You have nothing to prove, and it does not matter to you if other people approve of you or not.
You are a self-sustaining alpha. You are your own man. You are in control of your life, and it shows… from your good, even posture, to more subtle forms of body language, to the words you choose to speak.
Ironically, this will tend to make you that much more likeable.
Humans have a way of feeling ‘more secure’ around people who are sure of themselves… and there is nobody more sure of themselves than a powerful, accomplished, successful alpha.
5… Respect Personal Space
An alpha man may be sure of himself. But he is also wise enough, and respectful enough, to respect other people… both men and women.
Always be mindful of where other people are standing, and try your best to give them their own personal space.
Stand at least four feet away from them, if this is possible.
When you engage with someone, take instant stock of how far away from them you are, and then change positions to accommodate their space.
This is especially true of women!
Women can be easily intimidated or thrown off by having a man stand too close to them, especially if they don’t know him.
So show respect, and stand back until you get the signal to move in closer.
When you do move in closer with a woman, as if to flirt or to advance toward her, do so gently and slowly.
Start by moving a little closer, or sitting a little closer. Then, move in a bit more to flirt, slowly, as she gives you the proper signals to do so.
Even better… let her move closer to you.
Respect personal space. A true alpha never wants to make someone anxious this way.
6… Alpha Male Facial Expressions
Facial expressions are a bit difficult to get right sometimes. But they are an important part of good, even alpha male body language and posture.
On one hand, you will want to be very honest through your facial expressions.
As it turns out, humans are pretty good at spotting fake smiles… and if you try to fake being happy about something, it’s probably not going to put anyone near you at ease.
But at the same time, there are some super-helpful things about your facial expression to keep in mind.
For example… you always want to control your micro-expressions, and try to keep your overall expression as relaxed, calm, and controlled as possible.
Do your eyes tend to dart around when you get nervous? Do you have a nervous smile that can creep over your face when you feel self-conscious?
These are the types of things to stay away from.
You do not want uncontrolled micro-expressions to betray your feelings.
You want to decide when to reveal your feelings, and only do so when you intend to.
Keep your gaze steady, your eyes focused, and your facial muscles relaxed. Kezia Noble, in her book The Noble Art Of Seducing Women, says that if you do break eye contact, you should always do so to the side… never upward or downward.
She also says that you should never break it while something important is being said, either by you or by her.
However, you also need to avoid holding the other person’s gaze too intensely, as that can make the interaction feel weird!
7… Alpha Male Body Language While Sitting
While sitting, your posture is very important.
You don’t want to look like a lazy slob… but you do want to be comfortable, and give off a confident, relaxed vibe.
Lean back comfortably in your seat. Rest your arms naturally to the sides. If there are arm rests, rest your arms to the sides on top of them to avoid crossing them over your body.
If you do rest your arms across your body, try to make them look as relaxed as possible, and cross them as far away from you as possible.
For example… lean up a knee and cross your hands over your knee. This is better than crossing your arms over your chest.
Your legs should also be comfortable.
Spread your legs apart slightly, so that you don’t look like you are sitting like a nervous, uppity puppy dog.
Sit like you own the place… like you are 100% totally comfortable and in control of everything that is going on.
Sit like you are enjoying yourself!
The more natural your body language is while sitting, the more at-ease the people around you will tend to be.
8… Alpha Male body Language While Standing
When you walk into a room, you should hold your head upright… your eyes scanning the room.
Don’t let your shoulders slump. Hold them back, and keep them square.
Stick out your chest a little bit, and don’t be afraid to let your arms swing just a little bit as you walk.
Maintain good posture, and keep your back straight.
Don’t make your steps small and meek. Walk in like you’re in charge… like everyone should either know who you are, or be prepared to learn very quickly!
Put a big smile on your face, and nod a warm greeting at everyone you make eye contact with.
Don’t avoid looking at people. And if applicable, don’t be afraid to walk up to the nearest person and introduce yourself.
A firm handshake or a polite nod and greeting will usually suffice.
Always give your name. If they do not volunteer theirs, ask them for it.
Also, never lurk near the edges of the room.
Walk right into the center of it.
Introduce yourself to everyone. An alpha male will look at every face, and shake every hand… leaving nobody out.
It is actually really awkward to stand off to the side and not at least greet everyone!
When standing in one place, don’t slouch! Keep your shoulders square, your chin up, and your eyes focused on the people around you.
Don’t stare at the ground while you walk. Don’t hunch over and act timid.
This takes practice to get used to… but it is a very important collection of body language tactics to master!
The idea here is that your presence and attitude about yourself shows other people what they should be thinking about you.
If you skulk off in the corner, they will think very differently about you than they will think about you if you stride confidently into the room, shaking hands with everyone around you… greeting them warmly!
9… Keep An Eye On Your Arms
Try to keep your arms natural and relaxed.
When greeting someone, greet them with arms open… not crossed arms or closed arms.
Be careful with your gestures. It is fine to gesture with your hands… but if you do this too much, you will start to look like the guy who ‘talks with his hands.’
Keep your arm movements controlled and conservative.
Try to avoid doing distracting things with your arms… like resting one on your head, shoving your arm inside your shirt, constantly moving it, twisting it into a strange position while talking to someone, etc.
10… Don’t Fidget!
To conquer and master your alpha male body language, you must banish fidgeting from your repertoire.
Avoid things like…
- Fidgeting with your clothes
- Touching your face or beard
- Twitching your fingers
- Playing with your drink
- Tapping on the table
- Cracking your knuckles
- Constantly wiping your face with a napkin
- Itching your nose or adjusting your clothing
Instead, focus on keeping your hands steady.
You want your eyes and face to hold the attention of the person you are engaged with… not your hands.
So keep them still, relaxed, and controlled unless you have an actual, functional reason to move them.
Keeping your hands in your pockets can make you look withdrawn, but this is better than looking fidgety!
11… Control Your Reactions And Responses
The most important part of alpha male body language is not necessarily doing the right thing all the time.
Rather, it is to avoid doing the wrong things until you are skilled enough to start completely mastering your body in social settings.
Controlling how we react and respond to things is incredibly important.
We want our responses to be measured, calculated, and appropriate to the moment.
We want them to be suave, cool, and contemplative.
We are trying to learn about the person across from us… we are not here to let the entire room know how strongly we think or feel about whatever it was that just happened.
Also never forget that we are here to lift other people up. We look damn good, and we know it… but we are not here to put other men down. We are here to be an encouragement and a source of strength for others.
That is very important.
Just like any other element of alpha male body language, use your responses and reactions strategically.
Use subtle facial expressions, nuances, and voice inflections to communicate effectively without going ‘over the top,’ which can cause people to recoil from us.
These are obviously very brief tips on alpha male body language.
There is a lot more that could be learned about this topic.
But for now, I will leave you with this.
The most important thing for you to understand, as an alpha male, is that you must be aware of what your body is doing and exert as much control over it as possible, at all times.
If you lose this self-awareness and start to act in ways that step outside of the realm of ‘controlled’ and ‘powerful,’ then you may find yourself less effective in social situations.
It is our duty, as alpha men, to learn to be the most effective socializers we can be.
We must learn to present ourselves as effectively as possible.
We must become leaders.
Well, that’s it for today.
Go with grace, my friends.
And never give up your power!
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus