Alpha male eye contact.
This is a topic that I’ve recently been thinking more about. It’s a crucially important element to alpha male body language… and something that many people struggle with.
What actually made me think about it is that I’ve been recording some YouTube videos for my new channel. And as I watch myself on camera, I am reminded of how important it is to maintain proper eye contact while talking to someone.
Now, there are all kinds of alpha male eye contact tips out there… and literally dozens of videos and posts about it.
So I decided that the best way to deal with this topic would be to give you my top 8 personal favorite eye contact tips.
These are the 8 tips that I try to keep in mind whenever I’m talking to a beautiful woman.
Incidentally, most of these were tips that were also difficult for me to master!
Alpha Male Eye Contact Didn’t Come Easy For Me
First and foremost, let me just say that if I can learn this… anyone can!
I used to have a terrible time with eye contact.
There were a number of reasons for this.
Most of them had to do with my confidence level.
I was pretty much always thinking of myself as not being as good as the people around me. This led to me being self-conscious, which led to me avoiding eye contact with most people… especially beautiful women!
But, as I leveled up and continued along the path of the alpha male journey, I learned more and more how important it was.
And I also got a lot better at it!
Here are the 5 most important tips that helped me to learn.
1. Always Make Eye Contact When Greeting Someone
This might seem like a no-brainer… but when I was a younger man, I used to forget about it.
I actually used to find it quite intimidating to look into other people’s eyes.
And while I really enjoyed making eye contact with beautiful women, I tended to find that it was quite intimidating.
I always felt like I would come off as weird for doing it. But the truth is actually the opposite.
Women find it highly desirable when men are good at making, and maintaining, quality eye contact.
So as soon as you greet her, shift your attention to her, look her in the eye, give her a smile (or at least a cool nod).
Get her name (if you haven’t already), and maintain the eye contact for at least 3 to 4 seconds before breaking it.
2. Practice Maintaining Eye Contact For Longer
This was really hard for me when I was younger. I would make eye contact for a second or two, and then quickly look away.
But a much better approach is to hold it for longer.
I actually got into the habit of counting breaths while maintaining eye contact. This, to me, made it easier to keep track of whether I was holding it for too long, or not long enough.
Three deep, slow breaths feels just about right for a conversation.
But… if she is talking about something particularly important, make sure to hold her eye contact unerringly.
If it turns into a full 30 seconds, or goes even longer than that, you can usually feel free to glance away very briefly.
But be cautious! Looking away while she is in the middle of telling you something important can make her feel like you aren’t engaged… which will cause her to pull back instead of building connection with you.
And connection is what you want.
3. As An Alpha Male, You Are Trying To Make Her More Comfortable… Not The Opposite
A lot of men get into this mentality when trying to make eye contact with a woman.
“It is uncomfortable for me to hold eye contact. I feel so weird! I wonder if I look strange?”
But this is the wrong mindset.
As powerful alpha men, we want to utilize powerful alpha male eye contact to make the people around us feel more at-ease.
Maintaining proper eye contact helps the other person to feel important. It can also, however, make them feel a bit intimidated… which is not a bad thing if you are talking to a beautiful woman.
If a beautiful woman feels a little bit intimidated by your confidence level because she notices that you maintain fantastic, strong eye contact, you will gain an advantage and raise your desirability with her.
Just don’t over-do it… which leads us to our next point…
4. Do Not Go Over The Top And Stare At Her… It Is Unnerving, Feels Inauthentic, And Can Come Off As Just Plain Creepy
I didn’t actually have a problem with this one. But I have met a few people who really unnerved me with their ‘staring-style’ eye contact, and I can only imagine that it freaks women out.
For me, breaking off eye contact after about 6 deep breaths feels pretty natural at this point. And I always try to make sure that I have a reason for doing it.
For example… I am sitting at the bar with a lady.
We are talking.
I obviously look away if I have a reason to (the bartender brings my drink, a loud noise erupts behind us, someone needs to scoot by, prompting me to move a little bit… I opt to go play a song on the juke-box, etc.).
But… if I’ve been making eye contact with her for 5 or 6 deep breaths, I make it a point to find a small reason to look away at least for a few seconds.
Why? To avoid staring at her and looking creepy!
My favorite way to break eye contact is to thoughtfully stir my drink (don’t check your phone! If you are on a date with her, be present in the moment).
Then, after giving it a good stir for a moment or two, I look back at her and go back to maintaining eye contact.
5. Blink Slower!
Another tip: Keeping your eyes super wide-open while maintaining eye contact will make you look really weird! The longer you are holding her gaze, the more relaxed you want your eyes to be.
Also practice ‘slower blinking.’ As in, try not to blink too much. And when you do blink, take your time! That sounds like weird advice, but try blinking once fast, and then blinking once slower.
You will realize what I mean. Slower blinking is a very subtle way to communicate that you are at ease, confident, and comfortable… which will make her feel more comfortable as well.
6. Think Of Eye Contact As An Exercise In Steadiness
As alpha men, we are challenged to be strong, iron-clad, unshakeable, tough, supportive… a literal bulwark, a shield, and/or a pillar.
What do all of these things have in common?
They speak to strength, consistency, dependability… These are all vital attributes of an alpha male.
And so, we can take this mindset and apply it to our eye contact… and it actually works!
Practice feeling comfortable looking someone in the eye.
Learn to find strength in it.
Embrace that it is the right thing to do.
Keep in mind that it puts others at east, shows them that you are confident, and gives them a powerful impression of you.
It can also be a little bit intimidating… and there is nothing wrong with that.
7. Practice In A Mirror While Counting Breaths
I’ve done this countless times.
Practicing in a mirror while actually counting breaths can give you MASSIVE perspective on what you look like when talking with a woman.
Pay attention to how much time is passing. Pay attention to how long it takes to feel awkward.
This is probably the best way to practice eye contact.
Another fantastic way to practice? Try it on your friends. If you mess up, they won’t care!
8. Emulate Other Alpha Males
Do you notice that someone seems really good at making eye contact? Take note of their habits, and practice emulating them.
When we struggle at something, learning from someone who is better at it than us can give us a huge level-up!
Hopefully, this post has helped to give you some insight into how to improve your eye-contact game while engaging with women.
It’s actually a really important thing to master!
Remember… we want to keep leveling up and raising our value. This means becoming higher value men in-general, but it also means practicing attraction and leveling up our desirability!
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
Until next time.
Joshua K. Sigafus