Are you an alpha woman? If so, does that mean that you’re going to automatically display a range of alpha woman traits… or are you capable of developing these traits as you learn, grow, and adapt?
Personally, I believe that any woman can become an alpha female.
In fact, I wish that more women would choose to follow this path.
In this post, I’m going to go deep into the topic of alpha woman traits.
What are they?
What do women need to know to become powerful alphas?
In this post, you’re going to learn.
What Does An Alpha Personality Mean For Women?
In many ways, this post was inspired by an article written by Frans De Waal, titled Alpha Females I Have Known. He’s a Dutch/American biologist and primatologist, and I believe that he’s brilliant.
But even more importantly, I believe that his brilliant observations about primate behavior show us truths about our lives as humans that are not readily apparent, given the nature of our highly complex social behaviors.
In short, I believe that we can learn a lot about our natural roles in society based on primate behavior. Obviously, humans and apes have a lot of differences.
But there are also some powerful lessons that we can take from our primate relatives.
When it comes to alpha personality for women, it’s important to understand the paradoxical relationship between sexual power and tribal power.
You would think that sexual power and tribal power are synonymous—but this isn’t necessarily true. At least, it isn’t true in every situation.
To be an alpha, you must be able to reconcile your place within the alpha’s leadership role.
And this is just as true for women as it is for men.
Alpha mentality women must rise through the ranks and take up the mantle of leadership responsibility if they truly wish to be alphas.
To be alpha is not something that you do alone.
To be truly alpha is a tribal initiative. It is a responsibility you take upon yourself not just for yourself, but for your entire tribe.
It’s much more difficult than just taking responsibility for yourself.
Is There An Alpha Female?
According to Frans De Waal, the original meaning of the term “alpha female” was exactly the same as the meaning of the term “alpha male”: Being the highest-ranking member of one’s own sex.
And this is very, very important… because men and women certainly differ from one-another in a range of important ways.
We are much more alike than we are different. But… our differences serve to give us different specific strengths. And so, for men and women to embody the exact same alpha principles puts each one at a loss.
The truth is that alpha females have the potential to be even more influential and powerful than alpha males.
Why?
Because of their incredible sexual power and natural feminine qualities.
But here’s the kicker.
In order to make ultimate use of this power and these qualities, women must make a difficult and sacrificial choice.
They must choose to pursue the alpha path at the expense of capitalizing on their sexual power and attractiveness.
This does not mean that they will lose sexual appeal.
But rather, it is a change in purpose.
The evolutionary purpose for most females is to attract a powerful, effective, high status man, mate with him, raise children with him, and see that those children are brought up in safety and security.
But an alpha female has a different sexual mandate, placed on top of the ‘normal’ one.
Her mandate?
To champion the cause of females, and to also be willing to act as consoler-in-chief and peacemaker for not only the women, but also the men of her tribe. And in doing so, to acquire so much status and loyalty among the tribe that her power and influence grows to the same power-levels as those of the alpha males.
Note that this does not replace a woman’s decision to have children or pairbond. Rather, it is an extra layer added on top. An alpha woman may indeed choose to pair-bond and have children, but she will also pursue the mandate of the alpha female at the same time.
But how does a woman do this?
She must specifically embody a number of alpha woman traits.
These traits will make her powerful, and give her the potential to change the world in only ways that a woman could manage.
Let’s start with the first one.
1. Female Alphas Are Usually Linked With Male Alphas
Just as it serves every powerful alpha man to have high-value women at his side… alpha females exponentially increase their power when they link themselves to powerful, high-value alpha males.
This is not an indication that women are incapable of leading alone.
It is, rather, an observation that men and women bring different strengths to the table.
Understanding the power of a partnership between the alpha male of the tribe and the alpha female will show you that, alone, neither of you are as powerful, influential, or effective as you could be when joined together.
For this reason, I encourage true alpha-minded women to only date truly powerful, effective, leadership-mentality alpha males whom they believe in.
Vetting partners becomes extremely difficult at this level of the game. But as an alpha female, you can’t afford to tether yourself to a low-value man. He’ll sap your energy, drain your resources, and keep you from leveling-up to your true potential.
2. Alpha Females Are Well-Connected
There’s no such thing as a powerful alpha woman who isn’t connected to other humans.
Think about some of the most influential and powerful women you’ve ever known in your lifetime.
Odds are good that the majority of those women on your list were highly interconnected among many different social dominance hierarchies.
Here’s the thing.
You cannot escape the burden of leadership if you wish to pursue the true path of the alpha.
Displaying alpha woman traits won’t do you any good if you’re not working toward creating harmony in the tribe, and acting as a bridge to bring people together in a unifying fashion.
And so, getting out and getting to know people is an absolute mandate of the alpha woman.
This is how you build social influence… which you will need to affect true, real, positive lasting change in the world.
3. They Use Their Feminine Power To Bring Humans Together
The most powerful and influential alpha females in the world use the nurturing, healing, soothing power of their feminine energy to bring humans together, end conflicts, and preserve the unity of their tribe.
Because of this, it’s important that women who pursue the alpha path remain neutral when fights break out. Instead of taking sides, they must be constantly working toward bringing the ‘offended’ parties together for reconciliation.
This is a vital function of the alpha female. She’s like the ‘glue’ that holds the tribe together.
4. They Set A Powerful Empathetic Example
In the chimpanzee world, alpha females are generally always the oldest females in the tribe.
In my way of thinking, this isn’t necessarily true with humans. But age and experience do play a significant role in how other people perceive the alpha female.
With age and experience comes the ability to lead and set a powerful example.
As an alpha, you must be the type of woman whom the other women can look up to for encouragement. But you can also become an exemplary model of what empathy looks like.
Women are very good at this, while men tend to struggle with it. But without empathy, no tribe will survive. This is a massive gift that the alpha female can bring to not only the other women, but also to the men.
She can display it… but she can also teach it. And she must do these things if she wishes to see the tribe thrive.
Note that it isn’t necessarily the alpha female’s responsibility to lead the males. In a functional tribe, this task should fall to the alpha male. But she can still influence them, and she can still guide and teach them.
With that being said, she does have a responsibility to lead the females, to unify them, and to champion their causes.
She is their figurehead and their role-model. This is a huge, yet eternally important responsibility.
5. They’re Assertive
Powerful alpha females understand that they need to be assertive and willing to have conflict when the need arises, whether it be with men or with other women.
But this is especially true with other women.
Alpha women are the champions of women’s causes within the tribe. But this also comes with a heavy responsibility.
While it falls to the alpha male to keep the other males in line through threat of force, conflict, and assertiveness… it falls to the alpha female to do the same with the women.
Alpha males do not always have the tools necessary to be assertive with the women of the tribe… and a lack of female leadership in this regard is sorely missed, and leaves a void that the alpha male simply cannot fill on his own.
Simply put; alpha females take no bullshit. They’re not afraid to assert themselves and to engage in healthy conflict when someone crosses a line
6. They’re Also Sweet, Calm, And Reassuring
One of the greatest powers of the feminine is the beauty, sweetness, calmness, and reassurance it can bring.
An alpha male has the ability to comfort others to a certain extent. But it is within the loving, caring, reassuring arms of the alpha female that true healing, nurturing, and rejuvenation takes place.
This is a vital role for the alpha female… a role that is sorely missed in most tribes due to the absence of a powerful, effective alpha female amongst their ranks.
7. They Understand That Physical Strength Does Not Equal True Power
Yes, a strong, powerful man may have the ability to wield incredible physical power in direct and focused contexts due to the larger size of his body and muscles.
But this is not true tribal power.
Alpha mentality humans understand that, ultimately, true power comes from existing at the top of the tribal hierarchy.
Alpha women understand this intimately. They understand that they may not have the physical power to overcome males… and yet, they are undeterred by this. They understand that when their feminine power is properly leveraged, they will have the loyalty and strength of the entire tribe at their disposal, to have their back and support them.
This is true power.
A power that even alpha males may not be able to rival.
Often, the alpha female of a tribe can command even greater loyalty than the alpha male. This is because of the mighty influence of the power of the feminine.
But this only happens when she fully embraces the alpha mandate, and commits herself to being the ‘glue’ that holds the tribe together in unity and harmony.
8. They Rally Other Women To Their Cause And Inspire Loyalty
Alpha women understand the vital need to inspire loyalty among other women.
And for this reason, they are quick to become champions of women’s issues, acting as the face of their gender when dealing with the men of the tribe—especially the alpha male.
The most powerful alpha women are those who successfully cultivate the trust of the other women of the tribe.
Become the type of women that the other women can believe in and trust, and you will be well on your way to accomplishing the alpha female mandate.
9. They’re Quick To Enforce Boundaries
Alpha women are very quick to enforce boundaries.
They won’t let anyone get away with crossing them without repercussions.
This may mean engaging in healthy conflict, to point out the crossed-boundary and demand change, or it may mean communicating with the alpha male and leveraging her relationship with him to settle the issue.
Sometimes, this is a larger issue than just her boundaries. She may need to step in as a defender for the other women of the tribe, to help them enforce their own boundaries and inspire them to stand strong and not avoid necessary conflict.
But she also maintains a strong position at the head of the tribe. Yes, the women of the tribe will be loyal to her, and for good reason. But they would never dare cross her. She has the ability to be fierce and dangerous, as well as loving, sweet, nurturing, and healing.
She is a powerful ally, and a dangerous, fearsome foe.
10. They’re Emotionally Tougher Than Most Men
Alpha females must cultivate a high degree of emotional toughness.
In many respects, they need to be even tougher than men in this regard.
Why?
Because weaker men who are threatened by a powerful woman will often try to attack her where the ‘cracks’ in her mental toughness may develop.
And the best defense against this kind of attack is to cultivate a degree of mental toughness that puts her above such reproach.
She is not an emotional victim or a slave to her feelings. She’s a stalwart warrior—the type of woman that even men will think twice about crossing or attacking.
Ironically, this type of mindset will also make her incredibly attractive to the alpha male, especially if she can balance this fierce, tough exterior with a subtle, feminine sense of need for him as a man.
When balanced correctly, this makes the alpha female the most attractive type of woman to alpha men.
11. They Work To Strengthen Friendships And Partnerships
One of the most important functions of the alpha female within the context of the tribe is their position as peacemaker, go-between, and relationship strengthener.
This is the ultimate power of the feminine, and alpha females have an incredible gift to accomplish this.
My grandmother was like this. Whenever two members of the family were fighting, she would encourage both of them to come back together and reconcile… and she did it without ever taking sides.
This strengthens friendships and partnerships.
It’s uplifting, and speaks to peacemaking… which makes the tribe stronger.
12. They Care About The Emotional Harmony Of The Tribe
We all know that tribal dynamics are not always peaceful.
Sometimes, conflict happens.
Conflict is a good thing.
But the alpha female of the group understands that tribal harmony is crucial for longevity and community-building.
She also understands that she can play a massively important role in this mechanism by:
- Living harmoniously in her own right
- Lifting up other women
- Encouraging everyone toward peacefulness
- Respecting the alpha male, and demanding his respect in return (which he should gladly give if he is a true alpha)
- Reminding everyone that, at the end of the day, the tribe is on the same team
- Reinforcing the hierarchy of command, and serving as a constant reminder of the fact that everyone benefits from the safety, security, and community that the tribe provides
They understand that as long as everyone works together in harmony, there’s nothing that they can’t accomplish.
But she also understands that she is a vital cog in this machine, and that without her alpha female influence, harmony will suffer and could potentially fall apart.
13. They Understand That Men Respect Power – So They Rally A Large Coalition Of Women Together
Once again, this speaks to the importance of the alpha female mandate to rally together a coalition of women and become a champion of women’s causes.
I’m going to be honest with you about something.
Men do not hold all of the power.
In fact, without women, men hold zero power.
Women hold the keys to the future of the species. They are nature… capable of bringing new life into the equation.
But this is not the whole worth of the female, either.
Men and women need one-another on many levels.
The problem is that women do not tend to unify themselves quite as effectively as they should… and this hurts them and damages the fabric of the tribe.
So as the alpha female, you have the potential to affect great positive change for the women of your tribe… and as a direct result, the tribe as a whole.
Women vitally need the community and support of other women. They also need to stick together so that they can come to the negotiating table with men on equal footing.
A high value alpha female takes it upon herself to champion this cause, provide this community, and form/lead this coalition. And a high value alpha male will support her in this endeavor… because he knows that she’s performing a crucial and vital function that’s necessary for the well-being and benefit of the entire tribe.
14. They Understand That Women Will Not Trust Them If They’re A Sexual Threat
Not unlike men, women also compete on the sexual marketplace.
They’re competing for the highest-value mates, and will sometimes go to extreme lengths to succeed in such contests.
The book Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss speaks specifically about female-female sexual competition in the Chapter 4: The Thrill of Conquest.
“In fact, male-male competition is so overt and ostentatious that it probably led Charles Darwin and many scientists after him to overlook what we now know is a powerful evolutionary and psychological force: female-female sexual competition. In our study, women described being motivated to have sex in order to beat out rivals:… Despite this blind spot among generations of researchers, almost everyone would agree that women compete sexually just as much as men do.”
-Why Women Have Sex, by Cindy Meston and David Buss
But it’s also true that other women will struggle to trust a woman who’s willing to sexually compete.
This is true among Chimpanzees as well, and is spoken of in Frans De Waal’s paper linked-to at the top of the post.
“I have never seen a middle-aged female at the top of a hierarchy if older females are present (even though middle-aged females tend to be in better physical shape). Younger females arouse competition among males, which interferes with effective leadership. In human politics, too, the typical alpha female is post-reproductive: Golda Meir, Indira Gandhi, Margaret Thatcher, Angela Merkel, etcetera.”
– From the paper “Alpha Females I Have Known,” by Frans De Waal
For understandable reasons, an alpha woman must be willing to set sexual competition aside in favor of cultivating trust and loyalty with the other women.
Sexual competition is a fierce and violent game, even at the best of times… a game that alpha females choose to sit-out as a result of their desire to prioritize true loyalty and comradery with the other women of the tribe.
15. They Stand Up For Other Women – Point Blank, Period
Have you ever heard of a ‘pick me girl’?
This is a derogatory name given to women who turn their backs on other women in favor of the hopes of being ‘picked’ by men.
It’s kind of like simping… but the female version.
Pick me girls are known for saying or doing whatever it will take to make men think that they are ‘not like other women,’ hoping that distinguishing themselves as ‘more like the guys’ will make them more likely to be chosen as sexual partners by the men they admire.
But wherever you find a pick me girl, you’ll also find waves of hatred, disgust, and dislike coming from other women.
Why?
Because this type of woman betrays her own gender to ‘defect’ to the side of men.
Not that we need more lines between the genders. And no, this isn’t a ‘man vs. woman’ thing.
But men and women do face slightly different issues. And when it comes to the position of alpha-female leadership, an alpha woman understands that her first duty is always to the other women of the tribe… first and foremost.
She is the figurehead for female tribal issues. She’s the person who vocalizes the needs, desires, wants, and complaints of her feminine compatriots. If a disagreement arises between the genders, she can be trusted to take the side of the women on all occasions.
Even if she doesn’t agree with the other women as to what is the best solution, she will always have their best interests in mind, and will support and champion their causes before she will ever champion the causes of men.
16. They Serve As A Bridge To Bring Factions Together
Alpha females do wield strong sexual appeal. And they use this power to build bridges and bring factions together.
Peace, harmony, and unity are close to the heart of the primal alpha female directive.
Where alpha males seek to conquer their enemies, alpha females seek to build productive relationships.
This speaks once more to the yin and yang of the masculine-feminine roles, and alpha females are essential in this role.
They are the peacemakers. They are the guardians of unity and harmony.
17. They Let Go Of Resentment And Pursue Opportunity
It is true that every alpha woman must be ready to enforce her boundaries with assertiveness and tenacity. And sometimes, this will lead to conflict.
But not so unlike her alpha male counterpart, the effective alpha female becomes adept at not holding grudges or allowing resentment a place to nest within her.
She sees resentment for what it is; a bitter poison that creeps into the body and destroys it from the inside.
So she does her business in the moment, as it needs to be done. She enforces the boundaries, rules, and laws as needed, and sees that any and all repercussions are doled out justly and efficiently.
Then, when the conflict is over, she chooses to move past it. She does not forget it… but she forgives it, and gives all offending parties the chance for redemption (if such a stance has yet been extended to them).
This is part of the harmony-building aspect of the alpha female. Those who follow her must understand that they cannot cross their alpha. But those who cross her and learn their lesson must also be able to trust that, once the repercussions have been doled out, they can move on and put the incident behind them.
18. They’re Impartial
Alphas must learn to be impartial.
They must be ready to mediate situations with a balanced frame of mind.
They also need to be adept at coming alongside the underdogs to create true equity and fairness within the tribe.
19. They Understand That Sexual Power Is A Flimsy Substitute For True Political And Tribal Power
Feminine sexual power is very powerful.
But at the end of the day, it’s only so powerful.
You can’t please everyone with it. You can only accomplish so much with it.
One of the most powerful alpha woman traits is to understand that sexual power is extremely effective when used in a very contextual manner, when sprinkled onto the top of true political and tribal power.
Cultivating harmony, peace, and unity, while championing the cause of females and building true partnership power with an effective alpha male are far more powerful behaviors than trying to put all of her energy into capitalizing on her sex appeal.
20. They Understand That, For Women, Being Highly Desirable And Highly Powerful Exist At Opposite Ends Of The Spectrum
This is only partly true.
Let me explain.
As a woman, you have a choice to make.
If you go too hard on flexing your sexual power, you won’t be able to keep from competing with other women.
On the other hand, if you go hard, hard, hard on being a leader for your tribe, championing other women, and creating peace, unity, and harmony… then you’ll end up supporting other women as they strive to flex their own sexual power and compete with one-another.
But you won’t be a competitor to them in this scenario.
You’ll be their champion—their trusted confidante—the type of woman they can actually turn to for support, advice, and help.
As you can see, you can’t have it both ways. As an alpha female, you must choose which type of power you’re going to build in your life.
21. Alpha Women Understand That They Can Be Even More Powerful Than Alpha Men
The most important alpha woman trait to understand is that when you combine the subtle power of female sexual abundance with the path of the alpha female, you end up with a very potent combination that even the most powerful alpha men will respect you for.
A fully actualized alpha female, trusted by the tribe and loyal to its cause, active in its affairs and the champion of the females and the underdogs… and ultimate creator of peace, unity, and harmony, will have no true equal.
This is the yin to the alpha male yang. This is the balance on the other side of the scale.
And the truth is that fully realized alpha females are even more powerful than alpha males.
They can help to make them, and help to undo them… all by wielding their incredible political/tribal power and the loyalty of their tribal family.
In Conclusion
Hopefully this post has helped you to understand the most important alpha woman traits.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. It barely covers the basics.
But these are very important basics that all alpha women desperately need to understand if they want to fully realize their dominance hierarchy potential.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Joshua K. Sigafus