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how to be a powerful woman

How To Be A Powerful Woman – 12 Steps Every Woman Should Take

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I’m going to be completely transparent with you. When discussing a topic as important as how to be a powerful woman, it’s important to get one thing straight. 

I feel like women are done a massive disservice in our culture. 

Nature designed women to be very powerful creatures. And they are. 

Most just don’t understand how to harness this power. 

And it doesn’t help anything that most men do not fully recognize how much power women actually hold in the balance of nature.

In fact, most men are straight-up intimidated by the power of feminine energy and the woman’s natural role in the human species.

Today, I’m going to shed some light on this topic. 

Here are 12 steps that I wish every woman would take to level-up and be a powerful woman… the kind of woman who is successful and powerful… an alpha-mentality woman. 

Let’s jump into it. 

1. Understand That Men Inherently Desire You

I’m going to tell you an inherent male secret right now. 

Men love women. 

In fact, nearly everything that men do, they do out of a desire to win attention, affection, and sexual access from the women they are interested in. 

You may feel like you need to earn this desire. But the truth is that you were born with this power already inherently attached to you

This is the default. And I wish that more women understood this.

Your attitude should be this… that it is MEN who need to earn YOUR attention… not the other way around.  

2. Understand That Men Desiring You Doesn’t Have To Define You

Image 2 When you let go of the obsessive need to be desired quote

To a point, both men and women tend to live for the purpose of procreation.

Attracting a mate, and experiencing the emotional, intimate, and sexual benefits of such a relationship consume a massive amount of our bandwidth. 

But I’m going to tell you a small secret today that I believe will seriously help you to level up and be a powerful woman. 

When you choose to pursue a purpose first, and set aside your obsession with gaining men’s attention, you will become more attractive than you have ever been. 

The same is true for men. This is why I espouse the alpha mentality. If you focus on minding your business, getting your money, and pursuing your purpose FIRST, you create a massive advantage for yourself. 

You leverage your natural attraction as a byproduct of your alpha-mentality focus on your goals. 

This is a very powerful combination that most women fail to balance in their lives. 

3. Level Up Your Mind

Image 3 Learning never exhausts the mind quote

I can’t tell you how many women I’ve met in my life who neglect to level up their minds. 

I constantly tell men to level up their minds. I urge them to read books, listen to great podcasts, and consume content that’s going to make them more effective. 

I would say the same thing to women. 

Level up your mind. Your intellect is your most powerful asset as a woman. 

This is actually a controversial thing to say. And there are those who may disagree with me on this. 

It’s clear that women are born with a powerful asset already built into their being… their body, beauty, and inherent sexual value. 

But I believe that if women rely completely on this asset, they’re setting themselves up for the potential for failure. I would much rather see women investing in their intellect while also leveraging their natural sexual power in a balanced way. 

4. Level Up Your Body

image 4 Emotional release and muscular release are interdependent quote

Speaking of your body… I’m going to be very real with you right now. 

If you want to learn how to be a powerful woman, it is essential to understand how men view you on the dating marketplace. 

Men love women. You would not believe how powerful the beauty of an attractive woman can be on the psyche of a man. 

Men are literally designed to pursue beautiful women with relentless obsession. In fact, part of my entire message toward men is to stop obsessing so much over women, because this puts them at a severe disadvantage on the dating marketplace and causes them to give away ALL of their power as men. 

As a woman, you have a powerful physical asset in your inborn sexual value. You are literally nature. You hold all of the keys to sex, reproduction, and intimacy.

Any power that an alpha male has is literally only made possible because women give it to him. Women literally create hierarchical power. It is a byproduct of the mating process and our desire to be desired by potential mates.

You are literally beauty, incarnate… while men, by contrast, are the brawn, set upon an eternal journey to seek and find the beautiful. 

You are the feminine, while men embody the masculine

This doesn’t mean that you aren’t going to have some masculinity inside of you. In fact, if you embrace the alpha mentality, you will, by default, invite a few advantageous masculine traits. 

But as a general rule, your body was designed by nature to be pursued by men… while men were designed to pursue you. 

As such, you stand to gain distinct advantage by putting effort into this powerful inborn asset. 

The more effort you put into your body, the more powerful it becomes as not only your physical vessel in this world… but also as a center for your feminine sexual power.

You can do this by:

  • Working out to maintain a healthy body weight
  • Leveling-up your makeup game
  • Eating a healthy diet, to nurture and care for your body
  • Drinking plenty of water
  • Making an effort to dress in such a way that your feminine fertility signals are displayed
  • Practicing good hygiene

If you want to read a powerful resource that men and women should all read if they want to level up their dating game (including physical attractiveness), consider listening to this free audiobook version of the Kama Sutra, by Vātsyāyana. 

Leveling up your physical beauty and taking care of your body helps you to capitalize on your natural physical sexual advantages, and gives you a powerful edge in life that can be leveraged for massive gain in a myriad of ways. 

You don’t need to obsess over it. Just strive to be 1% healthier today than you were yesterday. That’s all it takes.

5. Level Up Spiritually

image 5 Here in this body are the sacred rivers quote

A woman who wants to be a powerful woman stands to gain a tremendous boost to her life by becoming more spiritual. 

If you are religious, this could mean delving deeper into your religious beliefs. This could mean spending more time studying religious texts, praying, meditating, etc. 

This reverence and pursuit of something of spiritual significance brings an element of beauty, peace, and tranquility to life that all women can benefit from. 

As a general rule, women tend to rank higher in neuroticism than men… which means that they are more prone to negative emotions. 

A spiritual practice of some kind can be a powerful way to offset some of this. 

If you’re not religious, consider spending more time in meditation on your own. Consider looking into Buddism, stoicism, or other philosophies to help you ground yourself and promote a deeper relationship with yourself. 

If nothing else, consider taking up a journaling habit. Spending just 15 minutes at the end of every day writing about what you felt, thought, and experienced that day can seriously help you to grow a deeper and closer relationship with yourself. 

6. Start Getting Your Own Money

Image 6 If you’re given a choice between money and sex appeal, take the money quote

Ladies, I’m going to be straight with you on this one. 

If you rely on a man to support you, odds are good that you’re going to be left in the dirt and vulnerable. 

The world isn’t like it used to be. Long term relationships where men and women form lasting partnerships are growing fewer and farther between… and you can’t rely on them, regardless of the quality of man you think you are dating. 

You must be getting your own money in life… and you must not sacrifice this for anyone

The first step is to get a job of some kind. Commit to this job (whatever it is), be diligent, and prove to everyone that you are capable of being the hardest worker in the room. 

If you want to learn how to be a powerful woman, you’re going to have to outwork the men. There are no two ways about it. This is a must if you wish to level-up and become truly great and powerful in your life. 

Once you conquer this step, it will be time to start a side hustle. 

Some women choose to leverage their very lucrative sexual value for this. 

OnlyFans, exotic dancing, making porn, selling nudes… these are just a few different methods that women can employ to monetize the raw marketplace value of their sexuality. 

But you can also start side hustles based on your craft, talent, and potential in other fields. 

One of the most powerful women I know in my life refuses to monetize her sexuality. Instead, she organizes business networking meetings, and is launching her own business referral service. 

I know women who sell artwork, practice photography, freelance as writers/graphic artists, etc. 

You just need to figure out what you are passionate about, and then find a way to leverage it and monetize it. 

Then, you move on to buying/building assets that will earn you money while you sleep. 

I once met a stripper who traveled between three different states to strip and dance on a regular basis. She made a ton of money stripping. But she was also very smart, and invested this money into real estate. 

She was only about 22 years old, already owned 3 rental properties, and was getting ready to add more to her portfolio. 

She was setting herself up for investments that would support her and give her financial freedom when she retired from the stripping game. 

I was very impressed with her. These were powerful moves she was making, and she leveraged both her sexual value and her intelligence to create a balanced, long-lasting approach to wealth generation. 

7. Mind Your Business

Image 7 Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim quote

When I talk about minding your business, this basically means to stop chasing men and start pursuing something more meaningful in life. 

I’m not saying that a quality relationship and good sex aren’t great. They are, and there’s nothing wrong with wanting them. 

But here’s the thing. 

When you desperately chase these things, you give off powerful low value markers that ward off true high-value men. 

So when I say mind your business, I mean to focus more on your business, your money, your side-hustles, and generating wealth and power for yourself. 

As you do this, you should also be expanding your social circles and growing your social reach/influence. 

You also want to be focused on creating value for others through your friendship, hustles, and business moves. 

But here’s the thing. 

When you pursue these things first, the natural byproduct is that you are going to dramatically increase your attraction levels. 

This creates a powerful high-value marker that high-value men will sit up and take notice of. 

It seems counterintuitive. But it’s actually true. 

Focus first on yourself, and on the value you’re going to bring to the world. 

This is your ‘business.’ 

When you do this, more relationship opportunities will come your way than ever before.


Because you will be giving off those powerful high-value markers.  

8. Pursue Your Purpose

Image 8 I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong quote

Do you know what your purpose in life is?

I want you to answer these questions. 

  1. What are you passionate about?
  2. What do you think about when you’re allowed to think about anything you want?
  3. What subject gets your attention above all other subjects?
  4. What major problem are you passionate about solving in the world?
  5. If you could spend your days working to solve any problem, what would it be?
  6. If money were no issue, what productive activities would you choose to involve yourself in?

Your answers to these questions should give you some serious insight into what your purpose is in life. 

But remember this…

Nobody owes you a purpose in life. You must create this for yourself. The sooner you do this, the sooner you can adopt a true vision and goalset for your future. 

Most people just drift through life without true meaning or purpose. 

Most people don’t know what problem they truly want to solve in the world. 

So here’s the goal. 

  1. Figure out what your purpose is
  2. Figure out how you are going to help solve the problem
  3. Start putting effort into solving that problem on a daily basis

For me, my purpose is to help men and women level up their attraction, improve their dating game, and embrace the alpha mentality. 

And I take action on this goal by publishing blog posts, YouTube videos, and podcasts. 

How are you going to pursue your purpose in the world? 

Make a decision about this, and start investing time into it.

9. Let Men Be Men, And Let Women Be Women

Image 9 You educate a man; you educate a man quote

This is a concept that I have become more and more aware of in my life. 

You see, men and women have different evolutionary goals. 

Men adapted to desire to gain sexual access to as many high-value women as possible, in the hopes of creating offspring and proliferating his genetic legacy. 

Women adapted to find the highest value man possible, create offspring with him, and work together with him to raise those offspring and protect them until adulthood. 

Do you see the subtle difference?

There is undeniably a conflict between the sexes. 

There always has been, and there always will be. 

So as high-value men and women, we need to learn to let men be men, and to let women be women. 

For example, a lot of women complain about men ‘chasing all kinds of women.’ 

But what many women fail to understand is that this is man’s nature. 

It is a woman’s nature, more so, to desire for a man to want only her. 

But you see, this is an example of that conflict. 

Because sometimes, if a man senses that a woman is trying to push for him to only desire her, he will feel like his freedom is being restricted, and like his true nature is being repressed. 

But if he is allowed to chase women willy-nilly, without any concern for the woman in his life, she will feel like he is not giving her what she really needs… Which is to feel secure, and to feel truly desired by him above all others. 

It’s so important that we learn to understand these natures, and to allow them to exist while also balancing this with what we need in the relationship. 

This is such a delicate balancing act. 

But it is monumentally important. 

In short, don’t hate men for being what they are, and don’t take it personally. 

Instead, communicate that you have specific needs, and give him the choice of either agreeing to meet those needs, or walking away to give you the freedom to pursue a man who will meet them. 

Firm boundaries, enforced with kindness, respect, and strength, are the winning strategy here.

10. Practice Kindness

Image 10 My mission in life is not merely to survive quote

There is no greater virtue than balanced kindness. 

What I mean by this is that you must maintain firm boundaries. But when people are respecting your boundaries, you treat them with great kindness, respect, and patience. 

The truth is that this isn’t always easy. But it is a virtue, and it is something that will serve you well in your life. 

11. Take No Sh*t From Anyone

image 11 Some women choose to follow men, and some choose to follow their dreams quote

In balancing kindness with firmness, it is important to never take shit from anyone. 

I see so many women give away their power by letting other people control them, manipulate them, play games with them, and even downright abuse them. 

And I’m going to be really honest here. 

No man is going to rescue you from this. Nobody is going to rescue you from this. 

The people who are treating you badly are not going to change. 

You need to take control of your life and enact firm boundaries. 

This means learning to firmly say ‘no.’ 

It means not allowing yourself to be put into situations where you do not have the power to walk away. 

It means being smart and strategic enough to always be ready to survive on your own. 

If you are building your own wealth, you’re already part of the way there. 

That will keep you from being financially dependent on anyone. 

This is honestly the most important thing. 

I don’t care how good that man seems to be. DO NOT allow yourself to become financially dependent on him. 

I promise that it will come back to haunt you. 

Always have enough money to get your own place. Maintain a savings account that he has zero access to… always.

It’s just common sense.

There is no worse situation to be in than to not have power over your own life and choices. 

Do not allow this to happen to you. 

And on the same token, DO NOT allow ANYONE to treat you badly twice and get away with it. 

If someone crosses a boundary, I encourage you to communicate this to them… and if you want to, to give them one more chance not to do it again. 

If they do it again… you walk away. 

No questions asked. 

No third chances. 

If you give them another chance after that, you have only yourself to blame. 

If you want to be a powerful woman, you need to understand that maintaining firm and healthy boundaries is essential. 

You cannot be powerful if you’re not willing to walk away after they fail to heed a single warning. 

I wish that this wasn’t true. But if a man, or anyone else, realizes that you will keep giving them chances… they will only learn that you can be taken advantage of. 

That’s a hard lesson. But it’s true. 

12. Learn To Cultivate A Certain Degree Of Assertiveness And Disagreeableness

image 12 It takes a great deal of courage to stand up to your enemies quote

I’m going to say this exactly like it is. 

You should be kind… until someone crosses a boundary. 

Then, you become a different person. 

You became very serious, and very assertive, and very disagreeable. 

You maintain human respect for this person, and you do not allow your emotions to get out of control. 

But you sit down, and you sit them down, and you look them dead in the eye, and you scowl at them the way a lioness would scowl at her prey before she pounces on it. 

You give them the kind of look that lets them know that this situation will never be allowed to happen again.

And you say something like this…

“You have crossed my boundary. Out of respect for you, and to try to be reasonable, I’m going to give you one more chance. But I’m letting you know right now that if you cross this boundary again, I’m walking away and you will not get another chance. Period. There’s nothing else to say. That’s it.” 

If they try to argue, you walk away. 

You’re done. 

If they try to cause drama… you walk away. You’re done. 

If you are an adult woman, this is true of your…

  • Parents
  • Siblings
  • Partners
  • Friends
  • Coworkers
  • Bosses
  • Anyone else in life

It might sound harsh. But we live in a harsh world. 

And if you want to win in this life, you need to learn to be a little bit mean… mean enough to assert yourself and take no shit when someone else tries to fuck you over. 

In Conclusion – How To Be A Powerful Woman

if you are silent about your pain

Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand some of the most important steps to becoming a strong, powerful woman in your life. 

My hope for all women is that they would find happiness and fulfillment in this life. 

But the simple truth of the matter is this. 

That you will only find this within yourself, by pursuing the alpha mentality and leveling up mind, body, and spirit. 

Go with grace, ladies, and never give up your power. 

Until next time…

Joshua K. Sigafus