Be an alpha male.
This statement has, perhaps, been overused over the last decade.
But in truth, there is a lot of value to be found in it.
The only problem is that far too many people don’t actually see the alpha-male mentality for what it is.
Today, I am going to tell you my most important theory to-date about what women really want in a man. And I dare-say that I have never been left disappointed by this theory.
For years, I’ve been listening to women talk about what they want in men. I’ve also done a lot of research on this topic. It is, in fact, one of my favorite topics to read and research about.
The sad part is, so many men in society today simply do not know the definition of a real man. They want to be desired by women, but do not know where to start.
Well, this post is for you.
(If you want the golden resource on this topic… the best book that currently exists on the topic of what women actually want and how they go about the mate selection process, I would absolutely recommend that you buy a copy of the book The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, by David M. Buss.)
I’ve heard women say many different things about what they actually want in men… which is not surprising. We are, after all, different people. Some women want some things, and other women want other things.
But at the end of the day, I keep coming back to one very consistent framework that seems almost universal in how it manifests itself among women.
Women actually want a man who is in control.
Do Women Really Want Men Who Are ‘In Control?’
This doesn’t mean that women don’t also want to be in control sometimes. This doesn’t mean that women never want to be dominant.
There is a saying that says “Women want a man who is in control, not a man who is controlling…” and that is actually a perfect way to say it. (Unfortunately, I do not know who said this.)
In fact, this statement only has a little bit to do with sexual dominance.
It’s really more about ‘life dominance.’
And if we break this mentality down into individual categories, we come up with several factors that women really pay attention to when they are approached by an eligible man, and tasked with the very difficult job of figuring out whether or not she should have sex with him.
Historically, in the great search for their ideal, best potential mate, women have had a much greater interest in men who rose above other men in terms of…
- Resource Potential
- Social Status
- Leadership skills
- Good health
- The ability to be dangerous and aggressive when the time came to protect his family
- Relational compatibility
- A larger body size and greater strength
- The capacity for love, kindness, and commitment
- And other various related factors
These are all traits that, if present at higher levels in her choice of a male sexual companion, would contribute greatly to her survival, happiness, well-being, and life in-general.
Now, there is a HUGE misunderstanding that, nowadays, women don’t care about what a man can contribute to their survival.
Because with the rise of feminism, women don’t need men to provide for them anymore… right?
Well, technically and rationally, this might be true.
But we are not talking about rationality, and we are not even talking about ‘current technical factors.’
We are talking about instinct and desire… both of which are still very much alive and well within every human female today (with small minor exceptions).
And as an alpha male, it is very important that you understand this.
A woman might not need a man to take control of her life, provide for her, and help her in her survival in modern society.
BUT… that doesn’t mean that women are not still attracted to those features in a man that would make him the most ideal mate in a primitive setting.
So, we arrive at a picture of what women are looking for. And even if that picture is not ‘perfect,’ we can still glean some very important information from it.
What Exactly Do Women Want, Then?
This is a very complex question. There is a small part of it that is literally based in a woman’s ‘core sexual programming.’
But there are also many other factors that have come about, some as a result of nature, and some as a result of nurture.
What Women Always Want In A Man: For Us To Be An Alpha Male
At the end of the day, women want a man who is in control of himself… who, at the very least, is not a burden to her or a weight on her shoulders.
She doesn’t want a man who slows her down. She doesn’t want a man she needs to ‘wait for.’
Rather… she wants a man who is, preferably, ahead of her when it comes to resource potential, emotional maturity, self-sufficiency, work ethic, ambition, and position/status.
A woman may or may not need a man or want to need a man for anything other than sex and/or companionship… especially if all she is seeking is a hookup or a short-term commitment.
But she still, the vast majority of the time, at the very least, desires a man who is as in control of his life as she is in control of hers… who has it at least as together as she does, who makes at least as much money as she does, who is at least as ‘successful’ as she is, and who has access to ‘at least as many resources’ as she does.
A man who meets these types of prerequisites… and who is currently engaged in leveling himself up in all of them… well, that is exactly what you would call an alpha man.
Women Throughout History Developed A Keen Ability To Choose The Best Mate, or Mates, Available To Them… And It All Comes Down To Her Instinctual Drive To Survive
The women who are alive today are the descendants of millions of years of generational and evolutionary success in two vital areas… mating, and survival.
Every woman alive today contains the genetic coding of countless generations of women who came before her.
And every one of these women in the current woman’s lineage had two things in common.
- They managed to reproduce
- Somehow, at least one of their offspring survived long enough to reproduce as well
In primitive terms, this is what it was all about. Reproduction and survival.
And for women, these two things are very closely interwoven. As a result, she has adapted through millennia to solve problems… some of which she is not even conscious of in this day and age.
Women Adapted To Solve Problems
In the past, women were faced with many challenges and problems.
They held the very key to reproduction and life itself… a womb, and all of the biological functionality necessary to bring a baby to term, birth it, and create offspring.
The only thing she really needed to set this task in motion was sperm… which was readily available to her and easy to obtain.
You could safely say that women are the veritable keys to the continuation of the human race. And without them, men could not accomplish their greatest core sexual program… to create as many healthy offspring with as many potential mates as possible.
But there were also problems and challenges associated with this process.
It is simply more dangerous for a woman to have sex than it is for a man to do so. Sex carries more risk for the woman. And so, she needed to adapt… down through the ages, passing on DNA to her daughters and sons to solve a number of problems that would help to offset these risks, thereby giving her and the offspring that came after her the best possible chances for survival.
Among other things, she…
- Was smaller than the males around her
- Was vulnerable to violence
- Needed enough resources to feed herself while she carried the baby
- Needed protection for her and her baby, especially while pregnant
- Needed the support of a tribe and community to successfully birth and raise children
- Needed to mate with a man who would commit to her and the safety of her child. If she mated with the wrong man, she might be left abandoned, abused, treated badly, or neglected… with starvation, death, and disease being very real threats to her survival and the survival of her child
All of these problems were solved, or were at least minimized, through a thorough and careful mate-selection process.
And that is where the idea of an ‘alpha male’ enters the picture.
Women were able to solve the problem of ‘sex being more dangerous to them’ by developing a keen instinct for what makes a good mate a good mate. And despite what anyone might think, this process is very firmly ingrained in every woman’s core sexual programming.
And as it turns out, women are very good at figuring this out.
What Does It Mean To Be An Alpha Male?
To be an alpha male, in modern terms, means to be a man who checks all of the boxes in what it would mean to find a quality mate for a woman.
An alpha male would increase a woman’s odds for survivability, add value to her life, direct his resources to the care and nurturing of her and her children, and impose minimal needless burdens on her.
Of course, in modern times, women do not always need men to take care of them. So, we must adapt these ‘ideal male traits’ to a modern setting.
But what we arrive at is not so difficult to understand.
What Does It Truly Mean To Be The Type Of Man That Women Want?
At the end of the day, the prime directive for men who want to win with women is simple.
They should be seeking excellence… to level themselves up in every facet of life, from money, to attraction, to social status, to being a man of self-sufficiency and self-reliance.
A man who can thrive, win, and conquer… who can also treat others with respect and kindness, is exactly the archetype of the powerful, respectable, leadership-type man that women crave.
Of course, some women settle for less than this because they have no other choice.
But as it turns out, winning with women has everything to do with how we grow, adapt, and push through our fear to thrive and carve out a kingdom for ourselves in this world.
These vows help to guide me on my journey to order and power… and help me to level myself up, to be the best man I can possibly be.
If I continue to get better as a man, day after day, then it is only a matter of time before I achieve a certain level of excellence for myself. I do this by building habits, working hard, generating wealth, adapting, and striving every day to be the best, hardest working, most ambitious man in the room.
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand how to truly win with women.
The answer is to be an alpha male. To strive for excellence, to focus on bettering yourself every single day.
What good is this existence if we live the entire thing in survival mode?
Let’s not just survive. Let’s thrive and become conquerors.
And while we are at it, we will also just so happen to become the very thing that most women dream about finding in a man.
Let’s become that as well, gentlemen.
There are no short-cuts. It isn’t about just ‘getting out of the friendzone‘ or ‘getting laid.’
It is all about becoming the real deal… becoming a truly powerful alpha.
Be an alpha male. That is the answer.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus