This one is for the ladies and the gentlemen.
I’ve been following some relationship groups online for a little while lately… and I’m starting to recognize a pattern.
Humanity isn’t very smart when it comes to relationships.
I talk a lot about the science of human mating behavior. And it is truly fascinating. It really is.
But let’s set all of the science aside for a moment, and embrace a very pertinent truth.
Humans are so busy reacting emotionally to things that are not actually threatening their survival that they are fucking their lives up… and that includes their dating lives.
Hence, the reason for this post.
If you can’t get a boyfriend/girlfriend, it’s probably because of this… you are making poor choices in your life, and are emotionally reacting to things in such a way that it literally renders you unattractive to any high-value potential partners.
I’m not trying to be mean about this.
I’m not trying to be a dick.
But you have to understand. If I had a quarter for every time I’ve heard someone say some version of this…
“We used to be in love but now he/she treats me so badly, but I still put up with it because I’m afraid to be alone… and I met two other people but can’t choose between them, and I’m just so unhappy… and there are four kids, and I don’t have any money, and we live with my mom, and I try to stop spending all of my money on weed, beer, and fast food, but it’s just so hard when the government doesn’t give us enough unemployment. I just want my soulmate to find me. Why can’t I ever have anything good?”– Compilation Of Random Complaints I Hear On The Daily
What the LITERAL fuck!?
No wonder nobody can make a relationship work nowadays.
No wonder nobody can find any sense of happiness.
It’s a miracle that anybody manages to find pants in the morning!
What in God’s name is going on!!!
Alright, Rant Over – Now, Let’s Actually Solve The Problem
I’m about to tell you how to fix all of this. Do you want to have a healthy relationship? Do you want to meet someone attractive, desirable, and high-quality who will actually like you back?
Do you actually want to succeed at getting a high value, healthy, attractive, respectful, kind girlfriend/boyfriend who gives a damn about themselves and you?
Grab your goddamn pen and paper. Take some fucking notes.
Step 1 – Get A Job And Get Some Money Coming In
Why? Because you can’t do $hit in life without any money. If you act lazy, I promise you will be miserable. I also promise that nobody good will want to date you.
Step 2 – Walk Away From The Negative People
All of them. I don’t give two $hits if you’re related to them or not. Walk the hell away!
Step 3 – Start Taking Care Of Yourself
Budget your money. Stop drinking so much. Work out more. Make a schedule. Eat some damn vegetables. Stop watching porn every day.
Try to put your life together. Try to stand up on your own two feet, with your own money, in your own place, and take control of the train-wreck that is your life.
Stop living for vices, and find some sense of purpose in your life. Find out what’s worth living for, and start living for it! And no… finding a boyfriend/girlfriend who loves you is not the damn purpose!
Finding someone who loves you is the awesome little cherry on top… not the mission.
Stop living with this romantic, soulmate ideology where you rely on the idea of a significant other to find validation and happiness.
Wash your damn clothes, do the dishes, and take a shower!
If your house is a mess, clean it.
Go to bed at a reasonable time. Set an alarm and get up early.
Step 4 – Start Taking Responsibility For Yourself
Start doing things that are going to move your life forward.
Save more than you spend.
Start leveling up a high-value skill.
Start a side business or a side hustle.
Go monk for a while until you figure out what the hell is wrong with you… and start fixing yourself.
Go to therapy, or rehab, or wherever you need to go to get yourself straightened out.
If you have any decent family, apologize for the shitty things you’ve done and make amends.
If not… stay the hell away from them!
Start acting right. Start using your brain.
Stop associating with friends who aren’t any good for you. Start spending time with the kinds of people you want to be like in 5 years.
If you don’t know anyone like that, go to a business networking event and meet someone!
Understand that your future isn’t going to be any good unless you start building it now!
Here’s The Kicker – This Post Is Really For Me
You probably thought I was chewing you out.
But the truth is that this is all advice I needed when I was younger, but didn’t get.
So I’m putting it out there for you.
If your life is broken and you don’t know where the hell to start, start here.
Start by getting a job, working harder, and understanding that life isn’t about sex, drugs, rock n’ roll, and finding validation in other people.
Life is about pursuing a life purpose and making a dent in the universe.
It’s about creating a work of art out of the time you get.
Life is just too damn short to be miserable.
But we create misery when we make bad choices.
When we react emotionally to situations instead of using our logical brain, we plunge ourselves into chaos.
And all of that just leads to suffering.
In Conclusion – This Is Why You Can’t Find Anyone To Date You
Because you need to put your life together and take responsibility for yourself.
You need to build something, accomplish something, and be something worth sharing with someone else.
It’s not enough to coast along. You need to mind your business, get your money, and pursue your true purpose.
Once you figure that out and you make that alignment shift for real – you’ll become the most attractive person in the room.
This… this this this… this is it. This is everything I am trying to teach the world. This is what I have discovered. And if I could bottle it up and sell it, I would be rich!
I’m going to repeat it one more time…
Once you figure out how to mind your business, get your money, and pursue your purpose… once you learn how to make this alignment shift for real in your life – you’ll become the most attractive person in the room.
Please meditate on this, or whatever you do… and try to understand it and apply it.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus