Confidence is sexy.
But most people don’t understand how to cultivate it.
The more I become aware of the state of humanity in our world, the more I realize that confidence is truly missing.
Most people don’t have it. Most people really need more of it.
If you want to get a boyfriend or a girlfriend one day, you are really going to need to build some confidence in your life.
In this post, I’m going to discuss this idea at a bit more length. Maybe hearing me talk out loud about this topic will encourage my readers to think and understand a bit more about how vital this is if you truly want to level up your attraction and find a partner.
The simple truth of the matter is that confidence is going to seriously level up your attractiveness.
But it is also true that you need to build confidence in your life. Contrary to popular belief, it rarely happens organically.
(Note: I filmed a YouTube post on this topic! Check it out for a bit more in-depth information.)
Many People Suffer From A Lack Of Confidence, And It Shows
In my life, I have gone up and down with confidence.
I have had many highs and lows.
When I was in high school, I was fairly confident.
I also had stints of high confidence in my 20s.
But for the most part, my life has been plagued by a lack of it.
And I can tell you for a fact that it hurts your attraction levels.
Becoming an attractive human is a multi-faceted game. It is slightly different for men and women, but both stand to gain a lot by boosting their confidence.
Can Confidence Make You Attractive?
Confidence boosts attractiveness by a huge amount… and I’ll tell you why.
Displaying confidence signals to everyone around you that you are competent, and that you know you are.
It also gives others a peace of mind. You are capable of handling yourself. You know what you are doing, and you are powerful/strong/smart enough to get things done.
In Our Primitive History, This Would Have Made Others Feel Safe
Imagine trying to choose a partner for your hunting trip in a primitive human tribe.
Which would you rather choose?
The tall warrior who holds his head high, appearing confident in himself and his abilities… or the warrior who shrinks to the back of the room, making himself appear small so that he won’t be picked?
When you question these two warriors, their confidence might even become further pronounced.
The first warrior: Yes, I know how to hunt. I am confident that I can bring home something to eat.
The second warrior: Well, I’m not much of a hunter. I’m not really good at anything, actually. You should probably pick someone else. I wish I were good, but I’m afraid I’m just not.
Which warrior are you likely to choose for your hunt?
If you chose the first one, you would probably fair better.
You need food to survive, right?
From all of the information given, it sounds like the first hunter, the confident one who stands up tall, is a better choice.
Well, as humans, we understand that there is something special about confidence.
Sure, some humans can fake it. But for the most part, confidence signals a competence that gives the impression of effectiveness.
And for good reason! Quite often, people who are confident are confident because they know what they are capable of, and don’t doubt themselves.
And this is a seriously attractive signal!
It signals effectiveness, and tells us that if we place our trust in this human, the risk will be more likely to pay off than it would be if we were to place it into the hands of the person who lacks confidence.
Is Quiet Confidence Attractive?
Absolutely, In fact, when people brag or boast, it can make them appear more confident… unless they push it a little bit too far.
Then, it can look a lot like an act. People tend to respect other confident people… but they tend to be a bit more distrusting of people who brag.
Because a ‘braggart,’ as they are called, may be all talk and no action!
Sure, they may talk a good game. But if they were truly confident, would they really need to tell everyone that they were that good?
Wouldn’t they just believe it?
Quiet confidence can actually be very attractive! And it is important that we cultivate this in our lives… regardless of whether we are men or women.
What Makes Us Confident?
Alright. Now we know that confidence is sexy. It makes us more attractive, and increases our desirability.
But what makes us confident?
If you don’t have confidence, will you just be out of luck?
Are you doomed to just be less attractive than your confident competitors?
You see, despite what you might think, confidence can actually be learned.
You can actually level-up confidence, just as you can learn to level up any skill.
How Do You Level Up Your Confidence? 2 Methods That Have Proven To Work In My Life
There are a few different ways to level up your confidence. But I have found 2 in particular that really seem to work well.
First Off, You Can Work On Improving Your Performance In The Areas Where You Lack Confidence
For example… When I started dating again after my divorce, I was not confident at all when talking to women.
Because as far as I was concerned, I was unattractive, undesirable, and didn’t truly believe that I could succeed.
But once I started learning about attraction, and I started leveling-up my ability to talk to women, date, and successfully navigate that area of my life… my confidence started to grow.
Now, when I walk into a room full of people, I am usually the most confident man in the room.
I know that a certain number of people in that room are going to be instantly attracted to me. I know how to spot those people, I know how to talk to them, and I know how to take those interactions further if I wish to do so.
And this gives me a tremendous amount of inner peace and confidence.
Secondly, You Can Work On Being Yourself More Often
A lot of people don’t feel like they can be themselves.
They feel like they need to pretend, or be someone other than who they really are, or people will disapprove of them.
But believe it or not, this ‘generic’ behavior often has the opposite effect!
It actually tends to make us less-likeable, and also makes us appear less confident.
(Obviously if you have some weird social habits, you may be better off training them out of your system. But as a general rule… authentic is better!)
I can usually instantly tell when someone isn’t being true to themselves. And I find it much less interesting.
Granted, you might run a few people off with your authentic behavior. But at the end of the day, being generic isn’t going to win those people over anyway!
Confidence Is Sexy – So Foster It And Grow It
If you don’t feel confident in yourself right now, you might need to take a serious look at your life and ask why.
Why don’t you feel confident?
Track down the demons that are holding you back, confront them, and try to figure out how to vanquish them.
At the end of the day, nurturing confidence is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
On the journey to find a girlfriend or a boyfriend, this is truly a sticking-point that matters!
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power!
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus