How to create a life you love.
Back in 2017, my life completely fell apart.
My marriage ended.
I moved out of our home and performed a total life reset—not having a single clue as to what to do or how to move forward.
Back then, the idea of creating a life that I loved seemed impossible.
It was all that I could do to survive.
I was depressed, lonely, miserable, anxious, and hopeless.
However, these things didn’t last forever.
This was not only the most difficult time in my life I had ever experienced, but it was also the most transformative.
It was at this point in time that I learned about the alpha mentality.
(For a deep dive into the alpha mentality and what it is, download my free ebook – An Introduction to the Alpha Mentality.)
I learned that if I wanted my life to change, I needed to take back my power from the chaos and create the destiny that I truly desired.
This wasn’t an altogether easy process.
I had to go through a lot of painful trials, errors, and setbacks in order to make it happen.
And in fact, today, over five years later, I’m still on that journey.
However, I have succeeded in creating an incredible life for myself that I love very much.
In this post, I’m going to give it to you on a real level—how to create a life you love, using the alpha mentality.
10 Steps – How To Create A Life You Love
1. Choose To Embrace The Alpha Mentality
This is truly where it all starts.
When you choose to embrace the alpha mentality, what this basically means is that you are choosing to take intentional control of your life—to get in the driver’s seat, and to begin taking action to create your own destiny.
This is a thought process and a mode of being for how we act upon the world.
See, part of the reason for why my life fell apart to begin with was because I was living with a beta mindset.
I was constantly letting the chaos of life knock me down and toss me around.
(Like a ship lost at sea without a rudder, chart, compass, or direction.)
I was lost, confused, had no plan, had no purpose, and just basically in general had no idea what I was doing.
Well, once I chose to embrace the alpha mentality, this all changed.
I became aware of the fact that I needed a direction.
And once I created one for myself, this gave me a purpose and a plan for how I could get my life back on track.
However, you must make this crucial choice.
You must choose to get in the driver’s seat of your life.
You must say to yourself:
“I’m done living a life of chaos. Starting today, I’m going to start creating the destiny that I desire. I know it’s going to be hard work, but I’m going to do it anyway. Because I love myself—and because it’s worth it to create a life you love.”
2. Figure Out Where Things Are Going Wrong And Get It Under Control
The idea here is to do ‘damage control.’
At first, you really need to nail down the vital infrastructures of your life that are collapsing around you.
I call this ‘minding your business.’
In other words:
- Start paying your bills on time.
- Start going to bed early.
- Stop drinking so much.
- Stop partying.
- Stop spending all of your money on dumb shit.
- Start being responsible.
To put it very simply…
It’s time to get your shit together.
If you want to create a life you love, you’re going to have to stand up and carry the burden of that process on your shoulders.
And you won’t be able to do this if you don’t get responsible and get your life under control.
This was crucial for me.
I had to learn to do all of this.
However, that process—while painful—was vitally important.
This will help you to survive and to stay afloat as you begin the process of moving forward in a positive direction.
3. Determine A Destination
- What do you want your life to look like?
- What kind of life would you love to be living?
- What kind of changes would you like to make?
- Where would you like to end up at the end of your journey?
- How do you want to help and serve others?
- How do you want to create value in the world?
- What kind of things would you like to accomplish for yourself?
- What kind of life would you like to wake up to each day?
These are all crucial questions that you can ask yourself to help you determine a direction to start moving in.
For best results, get as specific as you can about where you’d like to end up.
With that being said, sometimes it’s difficult to nail this down at first.
Sometimes you just need to choose a direction and start moving forward so that you can learn about the journey of figuring out what you actually want as you go.
This is all an important, intentional process.
All too often, people neglect this by just continuing to react to circumstances in their life.
But if you want to create a life you love, it’s vitally important that you get in the driver’s seat, choose a direction, and steer your ship forward on a course that’ll take you somewhere different than where you are now…
Somewhere better.
4. Make A Plan
Once you determine a direction, make some kind of a plan.
This could mean making a plan for:
- Starting a business
- Leaving a bad relationship
- Relocating to a different place
- Changing careers
- Going back to college
- Etc.
If your goal is related to something like fitness or weight loss, this could mean making a plan to adopt a healthier diet and exercise routine.
If the goal is to have a healthy relationship, the plan may involve taking steps to fix your marriage or your existing relationship.
Or, it could mean making a plan to meet somebody completely new.
See, all of this is very open-ended.
Every life (and every journey) is different.
Only you know how you want to change your life.
But the question is this.
Once you determine a direction, what are you going to do?
This is why a plan is essential.
Even an imperfect plan is better than no plan.
For starters, just figure out some major steps that will help to lead you in a better direction.
These steps may change over time, but the goal is to just make a plan and take action.
Don’t just stay where you are.
Don’t just sit in your comfort zone.
This is a death sentence for growth and development.
5. Write It Down
As you start to move forward, and as you start to create a plan for yourself to change your life—write that plan down.
Write it down in a series of steps, and then revise it as you continue to learn about your own journey.
It’s totally fine to change and revise this plan as you go.
However, if you don’t make a plan and write it down, you’re highly unlikely to take action.
This is a huge problem.
So make sure to write it down.
You can even create a vision board or write down a mission statement for your life.
How you choose to do it doesn’t really matter.
Just put pen to paper and get it out of your head and into the real world.
6. Take Action And Begin The Journey
Nobody ever succeeded by sitting in their comfort zone.
Nobody ever created a better life by staying stuck in their present circumstances. ‘
This is a painful, scary, and exciting process.
You’re going to need to get up, get out, take risks, get knocked down, learn, recuperate and continue forward.
There’s just no other way to say it.
If you want to create a life you love, you’re going to have to put some real skin in the game.
You’re going to have to take action.
This is an alpha mentality principle.
Far too many people allow the beta mentality to keep them inactive in life.
But once again, inactivity is a death sentence for happiness and success.
Remember, nothing good ever happens in the comfort zone.
All of the best things in your life exist on the other side of your fear.
In the words of one of my favorite fantasy characters, Yoda from Star Wars…
“Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering.”
7. When You Run Into Challenges, Use Them As Learning Experiences
As you move forward in life, you’re going to hit challenges.
You’re going to face setbacks, failures, and discouraging circumstances.
These things are going to knock you down.
It’s going to hurt.
You’re going to feel hopeless at times.
And there are going to be times when you’re going to consider giving up on your journey altogether.
- You’re going to be tempted to go back to that job you hate.
- You’re going to be tempted to go back to that unhealthy relationship.
- You’ll be tempted to give up on the business you’re trying to start.
- You’re going to be tempted to cave in and eat that junk food that you’ve been trying to avoid.
It doesn’t matter what it is.
Your journey is unique, and you’re going to face challenges.
But here’s the thing.
When we face challenges and setbacks, we can’t let them make us give up.
Instead, we have to think of them as lessons.
Learn a lesson from every setback, and then apply it to your journey moving forward.
As you do this, you’ll become stronger.
This is how you build your emotional muscles and become strong enough to become the person capable of truly creating a life you actually love.
8. Strive To Better Your Life Every Single Day
Stagnation is a death sentence.
We must be moving forward and becoming better versions of ourselves every day.
Even if you only make a small bit of progress every day, it’s important to take action.
I call this ‘leveling up mind, body, and spirit to become 1% better every day.’
Do something every day to move your life forward in a better direction.
Once again, this is unique to your journey.
- This could mean hitting the gym.
- This could mean listening to a podcast to learn something new.
- This could mean meditating or gaining a better understanding of your spiritual journey.
In actuality, we need to be doing all of these things—leveling up mind, body, and spirit, regardless of what journey we’re on.
This is a vital part of becoming a better, more attractive, more successful high-value human.
It really matters, and it will help you in your journey.
9. Pursue Your Specific Purpose
Have you figured out a specific purpose for yourself in life?
If not, it’s time to start figuring that out.
If you need some help with this, read this post: How To Find Your Life Purpose And Achieve It – In 11 Steps.
You can also check out this post to dive even deeper into the topic: What Is My Purpose? Take These 11 Steps To Discover It Today!
Listen, a lot of people struggle with this.
A lot of people think to themselves:
“I have no idea what my purpose is.”
But it’s really important that you start working on it, and that you come up with some kind of plan, direction, and vision for your future.
For example:
It has taken me years to completely figure this out.
My purpose is to create a community of ripped, attractive, successful, powerful alpha millionaire leaders with amazing dating lives and relationships.
But of course, it didn’t start out this clear at first.
My purpose started out being super simple:
I want to help make people happier and reduce suffering.
Then, this turned into:
I want to start a blog that will help people live happier lives.
This turned into:
I want to start a blog that will help men have better dating lives.
Then this turned into:
I want to build a blog, podcast, and YouTube channel about how to help men and women increase their dating success and embrace the alpha mentality.
And then, eventually, this morphed into my current purpose.
See, you don’t have to have it perfect right away.
You just have to have some sort of idea.
You need to have something to shoot for.
If you don’t come up with an idea to shoot for, you’re going to suffer from a lack of direction and clarity.
Once again, this is going to hurt your journey toward creating a life you love.
Choose a purpose that aligns with your passion, your interests, your skills, your personality type, your unique traits, and your experiences.
The things that make you uniquely you are also the things that are going to make you well suited to your life’s purpose.
Find something that you can leverage to be passionate about, where you can utilize all of your strengths to help you succeed, bring value to the world, and create a meaningful difference.
This is so crucially important.
10. Don’t Give Up
You’re going to be tempted to give up.
This is 100% for sure.
Personally, I’m tempted to give up at least once a week.
- Life isn’t easy.
- Creating a life you love is not easy.
- It’s not easy to leave your comfort zone and have an adventure.
- It’s not easy to hope for something bigger than what you have right now.
It’s really fucking hard.
Trust me, I know.
It’s going to require you to sacrifice things.
It’s going to require you to dig deep, be tough, and be determined.
But it’s so worthwhile.
You only get one life (as far as we know).
You’re going to be living it anyway.
You have a choice.
You can either choose:
- To live a life you hate.
- A life of mediocrity.
- A life that you don’t really care about.
- A life that you didn’t get to choose for yourself.
Or…
You can:
- Choose a life you love.
- Create your own destiny.
- Design your own fate as you see fit.
I don’t know about you, but I will gladly accept the challenges that come with creating my own destiny so that I can choose my life.
I don’t want someone else dictating my destiny.
I don’t want a job, an unhealthy partner, or anyone else controlling my existence.
I want to be the captain of my own ship.
I want to be the commander of my own fate.
And I have a feeling that you want the same thing.
So let’s do it together.
Final Thoughts
I hope that this post has inspired you to start working to create a life you love.
I know it’s difficult, but it’s so worthwhile.
If you need some extra help, hit me up.
Join my mastermind tribe to get started on the journey with other people who are doing the exact same thing.
I believe you’ve got this.
I’ve never yet met a human who didn’t have incredible potential to create an amazing life.
You are no different in this regard.
You can absolutely be the person you want to be, and live the life you want to live.
You just have to take action to make it happen.
Follow these 10 steps to get started.
You can do this.
I believe in you.
Go with grace, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus