Most men on the dating market want to date single women. But a lot of them are struggling.
As men, we sometimes have a difficult time deciphering how women want us to act.
Some men try to be bold, but it backfires. But when they pull back and be a ‘nice guy,’ they get called a simp!
Well, I recently sat down with a female friend of mine who dropped some serious wisdom on me in a YouTube video!
Here’s the video if you want to check it out.
But in this post, I’m going to break down the most important points, and explain how you can use them to form better connections, and schedule more dates, with the women you’re attracted to!
Build Connection: Women Rarely Want To Have Sex Without Some Kind Of Connection
Women do want to hook up. They do want to date and have sex.
They are not frigid, cold creatures. In fact, there is quite a lot of evidence to support the fact that women are actually a lot hornier than most men!
But for them, the experience of sexual intimacy, and seeking it out, is different than it is for men.
As men, we may know right away if we want to hook up with a woman, by just looking at her!
But women are much less likely to think this way.
Women, on the other hand, are more likely to want to establish some kind of connection before wanting to have sex.
There are many reasons for this.
How To Incorporate This Into Your Dating Life:
When a woman tells you that she ‘just wants to meet’ or ‘wants to get a drink’ first in response to your request to hook up, she is not saying no!
(At least, not yet!)
In fact, the fact that she is trying to schedule something with you is proof that she may be interested!
A lot of men take this as rejection, when it’s actually just a woman’s way of trying to get together, get to know you, and form a connection first.
Women get a lot more interested in sex with men they have some kind of connection with.
This is a key part of female evolutionary programming! Don’t fight it.
Instead, learn to flow with it, and help her to build that connection with you by talking, spending time together, sharing things about yourself, opening up to her a little, getting her to open up to you a little, etc.
Build Trust: Women Want, And Need, To Trust You Before They Have Sex
Of course, once again, this doesn’t apply to all women.
But in my conversation with Taylor, it was evident that trust was an integral part of her mate selection process.
And I can tell you from experience that she isn’t alone in this. Most women feel this way!
You don’t have to prove that you’re a rocket scientist, or even that you are the best man in the world.
She just wants to be confident that if she gets undressed in front of you, you are not going to be mean to her, hurt her, treat her badly, or give her a traumatic experience.
Above all else, women want to feel safe and secure when they have sex! That security is really important to them.
How To Incorporate This Into Your Dating Life:
Spend some time developing trust with a woman before you even propose sex or a hookup.
When I first meet a woman, I never assume that I am going to want to sleep with her before I’ve gotten to know her.
Instead, I’m focused on legitimately getting to know her. I want to see if I trust her as well… and that is a serious high-value marker!
Men who are willing to throw all caution to the wind and jump into bed at a moment’s notice may come off as desperate. This also applies to men who have no concern for sexual safety.
If you’re not concerned for your own safety and security, and are not working to uphold your own high standards… What kind of message is this supposed to send to the lady you are talking to?
She needs to feel safe with you before she will feel free to open up and let her freak flag fly. It’s just biology, boys!
Perfect Your Timing: As A General Rule, Men Either Go For Sex Too Quickly, Or Too Timidly!
A lot of men move too quickly for sex for most women, to be quite honest.
If you’re bringing up sex while you are still chatting on Tinder, before she brought it up, before you’ve even talked on the phone… you’re moving too fast!
But if you meet, go on a date, and everything goes well… yet, you fail to flirt, make any sort of physical contact, and/or never make her aware of your desire, she will most likely start to think of you more as a ‘friend’ than as a sexual prospect.
Timing is everything.
Here is a very, very simple time-table that I have found to be super useful
- Meet online – Very light flirting, just chatting
- Get her on the phone within the first 3 days! Keep it light, don’t pressure or push. Don’t ask her out on this phone call! Talk for 5 minutes, max, then excuse yourself and say that you are busy.
- The next day, ask her out via text. Ask her to drinks, to eat tacos, to walk at the park, etc. No mention of sex! Just be friendly!
- When you meet, test out that chemistry. If you’re feeling it, flirt with her! Find little reasons to stand close to her, pay her tactful compliments, be pleasant, and lay on your masculine charm!
- Don’t be afraid to go in for that kiss on the first date, especially if you don’t plan to go for sex!
- Remember that you need to escalate! You can’t go from ‘nice guy’ to ‘let’s hook up!’ That builds no connection and will totally throw her off!
Men, women are not like us. They are bombarded by men trying to fuck them on the daily. They aren’t out here trying to compete like we are.
They are trying to filter the men who approach them, and want to go to bed with the finest, highest value men they have access to!
Bonus Tip! Don’t Send Dick Picks Or Ask For Nudes!
Both of these things are a major turn off, except in very limited circumstances.
Don’t ask for nudes. A high value man will woo her and get her naked in-person!
Don’t send dick picks. A high value man will show her his dick when she is ready to see it… in person, right before she begs him to fuck her!
So, How Do You Win While Dating Single Women?
At the end of the day, there are no ‘tricks’ to getting women to want to have sex with you or date you.
The true, real answer is this…
Mind your business, get money, pursue your purpose… and become a true high-value alpha male.
This kind of man, when he figures himself out, will have no problem finding beautiful women to date and have fun with!
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power!
Joshua K. Sigafus