A dating plan.
It may sound gimmicky.
But trust me. It works.
I’m a big fan of goal-setting.
In fact, just today, I sat down to write out my goals for the rest of the week. And as usual, I noticed a variety of benefits to doing this.
- It helped to do away with anxiety, because I knew exactly what the plan was
- I knew that if I followed the plan, I would be successful
- It helped me to be more productive, because everything was organized and written down
It really works.
But this also got me thinking about another question.
Why don’t people make a plan for dating, and stick to it to get better results?
If it works so well with work, why not use this same technique when it comes to dating?
Well, the truth is that it does work! A dating plan can bring the same types of benefits to your dating life that setting work goals can bring to your work life.
The only issue is that most people either don’t know how to do it, or they hate making a plan for their dating life because they want their ‘love life’ to be something that happens naturally.
Well, here’s what you need to understand about dating.
The people with the highest-level dating and attraction skills are going to have A LOT MORE natural connections and luck—because they KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING!
So in this post, you’re going to learn how to make a successful dating plan, for leveling up your dating-life results.
I’m also going to share some examples from my own dating life for context.
Let’s dive into it.
Step 1: Define The Objective
Back when I was single, I first dipped my toe into the ‘dating plan’ idea by doing some research.
I started learning some thing that I thought were going to get me better results. And to compile this information into a usable framework, I drafted a ‘plan’ for myself based on the information I was learning.
My objective was pretty simple.
I wanted to get a girlfriend.
Simple stuff, right?
Of course, your objective doesn’t have to be the same as mine.
Here are some examples of other dating objectives I’ve had throughout my life.
- Do more casual dating
- Have more casual sex
- Have sex with X new people
- Schedule X dates within the next 30 days
- Get a second or even third girlfriend (yep, I’ve lived a wild life)
There are a lot of potential objectives here. So you need to really figure out what you want.
Don’t be afraid to be honest with yourself.
Being honest is going to get you better results.
Step 2: Figure Out The Steps
Figuring out the steps is the next part of creating a dating plan.
This is the part where you figure out what method you are going to use to accomplish your goal.
For me, I was going to try out a new idea I had read in an online blog post somewhere.
The idea was this.
Say ‘yes’ to two new social invitations each week that you never would have said ‘yes’ to before.
The criteria for these events is simple.
- Number 1, these invitations must take you to places/new social groups that you’ve had very little interaction with.
- Number 2, they must be social events that are going to include more than 5 people.
If you don’t receive invitations, you need to go out and FIND events/groups to attend that meet the criteria.
If you follow this rule, odds are very good that you will be in a new relationship within 3 months.
This made the steps pretty easy.
Step 1: Say yes to at least two social invitations each week that met the criteria.
Step 2: Level up my attraction skills so that when I do meet eligible women, I can be at my best and hopefully get their attention.
Step 3: When I meet a girl I like, don’t chicken out. Ask her out.
Step 4: Repeat until I am in a relationship.
But even though this is a very simple plan, it already leveled up my dating potential in so many ways.
It gave me a framework to launch off of.
It gave me a working plan of action that I could use to pursue my goal on a daily basis.
A lot of people don’t like setting goals like this. People get this idea into their head that dating and attraction are not skills.
But if you want to take control of your dating life, you need to delete this programming right now… because that is EXACTLY what it is. It’s programming, and it isn’t correct.
I’m telling you the truth… if something really matters to you, then it is absolutely in your best interest to make a plan, stick to those goals as you pursue it, and level up in the skills required to excel at it.
This is how successful people accomplish big things.
You make a plan, you do the work, you pursue the goal. And as long as you don’t give up, your odds of success continue to increase!
Step 3: Stick To The Plan
This is exactly what it sounds like.
Stick to the plan.
Do you think I wanted to go to every single thing I went to after setting these goals?
I went to a lot of weird barbecues, hangouts, happy-hours, etc.
Some of them were super lame, and seemed like a massive waste of time.
But there were also some really awesome ones.
Had I not stuck with it through the weird times, I would never have had those great experiences or met the great people I met.
So do the work. Stick to your goals. Don’t skip out on them—because when you skip out on your goals, the only person who loses is you!
Step 4: Learn And Adapt
Setting a goal and making a plan for that goal is an important process.
But you will accelerate your chances of success if you also learn while you follow the plan.
For me, this meant reading great books about dating, learning to level-up as a high value man, going on as many dates as possible so that I could get ‘practice’ talking to women, and just generally learning how to be a more desirable, attractive person.
This is why it is also a good idea to buy some great books about dating, and why it’s such a good idea to follow people like me who publish content about dating, as well as dating tips.
We must never stop leveling up our attraction. We must continue to learn and become higher-value men and women.
The higher we raise our attraction in life, and the more we learn about dating, human mating behavior, and what makes humans operate—the more successful our dating lives will be in the long run, and the happier we will become.
It is also possible that you may need to switch up your plan a little bit.
For example—at one point, I realized that my online dating methods weren’t getting me any good results… so I needed to change-up my methods.
It’s really easy to get discouraged while dating. But it is also incredibly important to stick with it, and not allow yourself to give up.
Keep adapting and keep trying until you find the technique that works for you.
Step 5: Stick To Your Dating Plan And Learn/Adapt Until You Accomplish Your Goal
You might be wondering how long I needed to ‘stick with’ my dating plan until it worked.
Well, truth be told, it barely took a month before I was in a relationship!
It worked even better than I had hoped.
But in conclusion, I want to leave you with one more piece of advice.
The simple truth of the matter is that finding a dating partner is easy in this world.
Figure out how to do it, then get selective. Make sure that you play the field until you find someone truly worth it to settle down with.
Being single is a ton of fun, and it comes with many benefits. Don’t get in too big of a hurry to couple-up, and keep your options open until you are 1000% sure that this person is the one who is good enough to take you off the market.
That’s all I have for now.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus