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dating tips for men

23 Dating Tips For Men – Level Up Your Alpha Male Dating Skills

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Dating tips for men. 

This is a super broad topic. 

As alpha males, it is important for us to know how to engage with women successfully. 

We want to have great sex, great girlfriends, great relationships, and great wives (for those of us ready to settle down that way). 

If you want to attract a high value woman, you need to be a high value man. 

But you also need to understand how to date correctly. 

Contrary to popular opinion, there is such a thing as learning the skills of attraction… and it is essential for men to do this. 

If you want to create your own sexual and relational destiny, and have many incredible experiences with many high value women over the course of your lifetime, then this is what you need to understand. 

And the format of this post is going to be really, really simple. I am going to go from step 1, and move up from there. 

If you are a budding alpha male looking for information to help you improve your dating game, this post will help. 

Let’s dive into the top 23 dating tips for men. 

Dating Tips For Men: The Overall Mentality

The most important thing to understand as you embark on the journey of leveling up your attraction skills is that attraction is absolutely a skill

It is not just something you are born with. 

It is something that some people are naturally better at, while other people need to work at it. 

But nevertheless… Just like anyone can learn public speaking, anyone can learn to do math, and anyone can learn to hit a baseball with a baseball bat… anyone can learn about attraction and level-up their dating game. 

The Great News Is This: You Don’t Have To Be The Best

The Great News Is This You Don’t Have To Be The Best

Contrary to popular belief, you do not have to be the hottest guy in the room to attract a high value woman. 

In fact, being physically attractive is only one dimension of the conversation. 

More importantly, if you want to level up your attraction skills and learn how to date effectively, you need to constantly be doing two things

  1. You need to be leveling up as a high value man, every day
  2. You need to be working on your attraction skills… every day

If you do these two things, and learn one thing every day that will make you a better man tomorrow, then you will blow the roof off your dating game in no-time. 

You will grow so unbelievably fast that you won’t even believe your own success. 

Why? Well, I’ll tell you. 

Most Men Just Stagnate

The vast majority of men hit a peak, and then they stop and stagnate. 

And this almost always leads to actually moving backwards

Let me tell you a little story. 

When I Was In My Early 20s, I Stagnated Big Time

When I Was In My Early 20s, I Stagnated Big Time (1)

When I was in high school, I was constantly learning, growing, and making myself better. 

I was always playing sports, going to the gym, pursuing art (writing and playing music), hanging out with friends, building relationships, investing in my community, excelling at school… these were all things that I took seriously, and I made an intentional effort to level-up in them every day. 

I also pursued women, albeit clumsily and without really knowing what I was doing. 

But, I was always pressing forward, even in my own clumsy ways

And as a result, I was constantly improving and getting better. 

But then, at the age of 20, I got married. 

And what did I do? I started to stagnate. 

I Got Comfortable And Complacent

I thought that I had won. I had met a beautiful girl and married her. 

That was the end, right? I had literally won. 

There was no need to go to the gym anymore. There was no need to level up my skills. There was no need to take anything too seriously. 

As long as I paid the bills, what did it matter? 

I had everything I wanted. I had a wife who vowed never to leave me, and I had vowed not to leave her. 

It was ‘till death do us part.’ 

Boy, Was I Wrong

I started gaining weight. I started getting depressed. 

I stopped spending time with friends. 

I started getting lazier. 

I started complaining when things didn’t go my way. 

I became a victim. 

My cushy, comfortable life, won through hard work and determination, now crumbled around me as I became a lazy has-been… a shadow of the young, energetic, hope-driven youth I had been before I got married. 

My wedding day was my peak. After that, I started to go downhill. 

But After My Marriage Ended, I Turned It Around

But After My Marriage Ended, I Turned It Around

After my ex wife and I split up, I decided to start turning it around. 

I spent 10 years in that marriage… and learned a lot of tough lessons about love, life, and women.

I knew that I was a pathetic mess. But I also knew that if I didn’t get my life together, I would never achieve anything worthwhile. 

I felt like I lost everything when my marriage ended. I lost my home, my family, my security… everything. 

I was literally starting over. But instead of complaining about it, I decided to commit to it and be thankful that I got a second chance! 

In Reality, My Marriage Ending Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me… Because It Woke Me Up And Shook Me Out Of My ‘Stupor’

In Reality, My Marriage Ending Was The Best Thing That Ever Happened To Me… Because It Woke Me Up And Shook Me Out Of My ‘Stupor’

And so, I started hitting the gym again, leveling up my life, investing in my relationships, and pursuing the alpha male journey

Eventually, I figured out what I needed to do. I wrote the 18 vows of the Oath of Kings, and to this day, I vow to live by them every day. 

And living this way brings me power, happiness, and fulfillment. 

And I have learned never to allow myself to stagnate. In fact, I have truly learned what it means to be a high value man… and I have learned better than to allow myself to stray from this path. 

Alright. Now that you have some background, and you understand the basis for the mentality, it is time to dig into it. 

23 dating tips for men. 

Tip #1: Get Your Life In Order

Tip #1 Get Your Life In Order

The first sign of a high value man, and one of the most foundational dating tips for men that you can embrace in life, is to put your life in order. 

So, start taking the little things seriously. Take responsibility for yourself by making sure that your bedroom is in order, that your workspace is clean every day, that your car is vacuumed, that your clothes are clean, that your bills are paid, etc. 

If the foundations of your life are a mess, your relationships will also be a mess. 

Women find stability very, very sexy in a man. So get your life in order! 

Tip #2: Get A Job

Tip #2 Get A Job

As men, we need to be productive. In the modern world, this means that we must be building wealth.

And the first step to wealth-building is to get a job, take it seriously, show up on time, and always strive to be the hardest-working, most efficient man in the room!

As far as dating tips for men are concerned, I started embracing this one when I left my 9 to 5 job to become a freelance writer.

Take pride in your work, and start earning!

Tip #3: Get Your Own Living Space… And If Possible, A Car

Tip #3 Get Your Own Living Space… And If Possible, A Car

You have no idea how much better your dating experiences will be if you make sure to sort out your own living space first.

A man who doesn’t have a home, a room, a house, or an apartment to bring a lady home to isn’t going to find nearly as much success on the dating field.

So get the basics sorted out!

This is one of the key dating tips for men.

Get your life together, get your bills paid, get a space of your own, where you can invite a lady over… and if possible, get a car as well!

Alright. Now we can move on and talk about dating!

Tip #4: Dress To Impress

Tip #4 Dress To Impress

Start taking some time and effort to make sure that you look good and presentable. You never know when you might come across the woman of your dreams!

So always try to be looking as fine as fine as you can, so that if you meet a lady out and about, you can walk up to her with confidence… knowing that you’re looking like a fine, presentable, responsible man.

Believe it or not, women love a man who has his life together. So don’t just get your life together… look like you have your life together as well!

Tip #5: Start Scheduling Dates

Tip #5 Start Scheduling Dates

After my marriage ended, I struggled with learning how to meet women. I was shy, and didn’t have a lot of confidence.

But I knew that I needed to level-up in these areas. So I started practicing! I started working out more, dressing better, and getting my life in order.

I also started working more, and earned more money.

As my confidence grew, I started to realize that if I never asked for any dates, I was never going to get any!

So I made myself a rule. Every week, I was going to walk up to three beautiful women and ask them for a number.

This was actually a really fun experience! And even though I faced a lot of rejection, I also had some awesome success!

In any case, if you want to start going on dates, you are going to have to ask. So get out there and shoot your shot!

Tip #6: Don’t Let Rejection Get You Down

Tip #6 Don’t Let Rejection Get You Down

A lot of men start out strong, but then get dejected and depressed when women tell them ‘no.’

I know that there are pickup artists out there who might be wizards. But let me shoot it to you straight.

I don’t care what anyone says… if you are brave enough to ask women out, you are also going to get rejected sometimes. That is just how it goes, and anyone who tells you that they ‘never’ get rejected is either some kind of mythical creature, or they are lying to you.

But… you can’t let this get you down.

If you ask a girl out, and she tells you ‘no,’ just smile and say ‘totally understandable, I just had to ask!’

It really isn’t a big deal. Just stay positive, keep doing your thing, and keep leveling up as a high-value man!

Tip #7: You Have To Practice To Succeed

Tip #7 You Have To Practice To Succeed

One of the best dating tips for men I could ever give is to practice.

If you never ask girls out, never go on dates, and never shoot your shot… you will never learn what works and what doesn’t work.

Sure, you can read blogs and books to learn about women. But no amount of reading is going to prepare you for facing real world experiences.

So this week, ask 5 girls for their numbers.

If it doesn’t work, no big deal! Take what you learn, and try again next week.

When you do get a date, show up and have a great time. If it doesn’t go so well, that’s ok! Recoup, and start asking for numbers again!

You just need to keep at it!

A high value man who wants to spend time with beautiful women doesn’t complain that he can never find a date. He goes out and fixes the problem by learning, doing, and eventually, by succeeding!

You would be surprised at how quickly you will figure out what works and what doesn’t work!

Tip #8: What To Do On A First Date: Be Yourself

Tip #8 What To Do On A First Date Be Yourself

Alright. You’ve scored a date, and you’re ready to start getting to know the beautiful woman in a more intimate context!

What to do first date… this is actually pretty important.

Firstly, you need to be yourself.

Some men try way to hard to be cool, suave, smooth, etc.

Well, if you try to force it, you might come off as being fake… and women are not interested in that!

You don’t get smooth by reading books and then automatically putting those skills into practice.

You learn to be smooth by reading books and storing that knowledge in your head. Then, you be yourself… but every time you go on a date, with practice, you will learn subtle little ways to put that information into practice.

Eventually, after you go on 10, 20, 50, or 100 dates, you will start to figure out who you are as a man, what you like in a woman, and what you can do and say to put your best foot forward.

So start out with being yourself. Be authentic and unique, but also focus on leveling up your skills of attraction at the same time.

Tip #9: Take The Initiative

Tip #9 Take The Initiative

One piece of dating advice that I wish more men would observe, especially on the first date, is to take the initiative and make the decisions about the date.

This is one of the most undervalued, yet important dating tips for men in our modern world!

Don’t ask her where she wants to go.

Say, “Let’s go get pizza. I’ll pick you up at 8. Sound good?”

She will really appreciate you taking the lead and making those big moves.

Tip #10: Take Your Time

Tip #10 Take Your Time

Remember… you are a powerful, effective, self-reliant, emotionally stable alpha male. As such, you have access to pretty much any kind of woman you could ever want.

Why, then, are you asking this particular lady out on a date?

Because you are interested in her and want to spend some time getting to know her!

So, when you are first dating someone, take things slow.

Enjoy the process of getting to know this person.

Don’t rush into it. Even if the plan is to try for a hookup before the evening is out… take your time getting there.

In fact, my favorite approach is to take the initiative, and then chill out a bit and let the girl chase me!

This is especially true with online dating. Give the woman a chance to get to know you, talk to you, and get comfortable with you first.

The more comfortable she feels around you, the more fun the two of you will have!

Tip #11: Dating Tips For Men: Calm Your Nerves, And Don’t Be Anxious!

Tip #11 Dating Tips For Men Calm Your Nerves, And Don’t Be Anxious!

This might be one of the best first date tips for men!

One sure-fire way to make a lady uncomfortable on a date is to be uncomfortable yourself.

So, go somewhere you feel at ease. Learn to be comfortable and confident in your own skin.

Go on enough dates that you learn not to overthink things.

Just relax and have a good time! Be yourself, and enjoy the company of this new person you are getting to know.

Tip #12: Don’t Be Clingy Or Needy

Tip #12 Don’t Be Clingy Or Needy

Sometimes, if a man is super excited to go on a date with a particular woman that they like, it can be easy to start acting a little bit too excited… and that can come off as needy, clingy, etc.

And this is a pretty big turn-off!

So be chill… even if you are super excited and want to dance around for joy.

Trust me, I totally get it! There is no better feeling than knowing that you just scored a dream date with an amazing woman.

But this is only the beginning. Stay cool. Resist the urge to blow her phone up and act clingy. Exchange simple communication to set up a time to meet, and get to know one-another in person.

This is truly one of the most essential dating tips for men that men often misunderstand!

Make sure that you also keep talking to other women as well, and don’t neglect your friends! Remember, you are a busy, high value man… and you need to keep your head in the game.

Pay attention to this woman while on the date, and have a great time… but don’t let one date with a really attractive woman get you all wrapped around her little finger!

Resist the urge to call her constantly, check up on her, blow up her phone, and otherwise act clingy. Such things will really scare her off!

Tip #13: Be An Attentive Date

Tip #13 Be An Attentive Date

One piece of dating advice that more men should take to heart is this… make her the center of your focus when you DO spend time with her!

Put away your phone. Pay attention to her. Listen to her. Make eye contact (learn more about alpha male body language here).

Show her that you are interested in her by giving her your undivided attention.

Your Facebook messages, Tinder, and email can wait until later.

I personally feel that it is exceptionally rude for a man to be on Tinder while he is on a date!

Be a gentleman, and do your best to make her feel like you legitimately want to spend time with her.

Tip #14: Your Goal Should Be To Have A Great Experience With A High-Value Woman

Tip #14 Your Goal Should Be To Have A Great Experience With A High-Value Woman

A lot of men make hookups and having sex the goal.

But some men also make other goals… such as scoring a girlfriend, getting her to say yes to a second date, etc.

But the problem with all of this is that being goal oriented like this while dating automatically sets the tone to a disadvantaged position for you as a man.

Women are much more attracted to powerful men.

This is one of the few dating tips for men that few men truly understand or take to heart.

Men who are powerful are much more likely to have access to more high value dating partners.

And men in this position are much less likely to be goal oriented on dates.

Why? Because they don’t need to be goal oriented. They can already have all of the sex and/or relationships they want.

So instead of seeking a particular outcome on your date… focus on having a great time with a high-value woman.

You are not trying to win her over. You are observing her and seeing if you would like to spend more time with her.

If sex happens, awesome. If you want to ask her out again, go for it! If you want to invite her back to your place, shoot your shot.

But don’t walk into the date with these goals in mind. Instead, walk into the date thinking “my only goal here is to have a great experience and be my own authentic self.”

This can seem counter-intuitive, but it is actually a very subtle, powerful mindset shift.

Tip #15: Don’t Be A Sad Boy

Tip #15 Don’t Be A Sad Boy

If there were ever a turnoff for high-value women, sad boys would take the cake!

I hear fantastic women complain about this all the time.

Men go on dates, complain about being sad, complain about being lonely, complain how past women have hurt them, complain about how they can never get a girl to date them, complain about how they get ghosted all the time, etc.

This reeks of desperation and sadness, and it is super unattractive.

Let’s get one thing straight.

As an alpha male, you are not a complainer. You are a powerful, effective leader… and you spend your time on solutions, not complaining.

“I vow to never again allow a complaint or a confession of weakness to be issued from my mouth.” 

– Third Vow of the Oath of Kings

If you feel sad that you can’t get a girl to like you, fix the problem by leveling-up your attraction and making yourself a higher-value man.

I promise that as you work on yourself and level up, you will become more attractive, and more women will want to spend time with you.

But being a sad boy never got anyone laid. And it certainly doesn’t win you the attention, or respect, of high-value women in the world around you!

Tip #16: Make Sure To Let Her Talk

Tip #16 Make Sure To Let Her Talk

Some men get nervous on dates and do way too much talking. Some men also just love to hear themselves talk, and end up talking so much that she never gets a word in.

In any case, while you don’t want to just sit there and not say anything, it is always a good idea to make sure that you let her do some talking as well.

If she tends to be a quiet person, ask her some open-ended questions about things she enjoys.

Making great conversation is something that every alpha male should be good at! And the best way to get better at it is to practice.

If you aren’t sure what to talk about next, rewind the conversation back to the last interesting thing she said, and ask her about it!

Tip #17: Flirt With Her

Tip #17 Flirt With Her

Learning how to flirt is a skill all on its own. You can check out this post for some awesome flirting tips… but here are a few to run with if you are having trouble engaging with her in a flirtatious manner.

  1. Make eye contact and smile
  2. Listen to what she has to say, and ask her challenging, yet inquisitive questions
  3. Be more interested in learning what she thinks than in being right about a topic
  4. Try to build personal connection by asking questions, and sharing your own feelings about things
  5. Try to make innocent physical contact. A little shoulder touch, brushing her hair out of her face… these types of physical contact are pretty harmless, but can be very nice and really build intimacy
  6. Don’t be afraid to escalate and build up… you can do this by using a little innuendo, moving your touches closer to her hands, going in for a kiss, teasing her gently, etc.
  7. One of the most powerful ways to flirt is to use your witty sense of humor to make her laugh!

Tip #18: Don’t Be Crude

Tip #18 Don’t Be Crude

Some men go right into sex jokes or sexual innuendo… and to be honest, it doesn’t work like you would imagine.

This is one of those dating tips for men that I wish more men would pay attention to!

I think that a lot of men think that women are wired very similarly to us.

When a woman talks about sex, it might be a huge turn-on for men.

And while the same is true for women to a point, it is also true that women place a high value on mystery.

For instance, when I talk to women and want to escalate, I might make innocent little ‘innuendos’ that could be absolutely innocent… and then I pay attention to how she reacts to it.

Sometimes, if she hints at doing something sexual with me, I might even tease her a bit by playing it off as something innocent… and acting like I missed the joke (this is obvious of course… she obviously knows what I am doing). But women love it when men play the ‘mystery’ card.

This is a balance, though. Because at a certain point in escalation, you need to be ready to be direct.

Most men, however, make the problem of joking about sex too early in the conversation, being direct too early in the conversation, and then not using direct communication to close. Instead, they might hint at it or dance around it without coming out and saying what they want.

Men usually do this because they are too nervous to come out and say what they want when the time comes to close!

This is a delicate balancing act, and takes practice to get right.

We need to be a bit mysterious while flirting to prime the situation for directness. Then, we close with directness… and make our intentions very known in a clear and easy-to-understand way.

Tip #19: Don’t Be In Too Big Of A Hurry To Have Sex On The First Date

Tip #19 Don’t Be In Too Big Of A Hurry To Have Sex On The First Date

I have had great hookups on the first date… but I have also had occasions where the hookup just didn’t seem like the right move… and was greatly rewarded for my patience later.

Hooking up is fun and spontaneous.

Awesome, right?

But at the same time, waiting for a date or two to pass by before you make your move can build up that chemistry and mystery.

And if you are both legitimately into each-other, this can be an awesome way to really nurture and enjoy those feelings, drawn out over time.

Remember, you are not desperate for sex. You are a powerful alpha male. You can have sex whenever you want!

You are choosing to spend time with this girl because you like her, but you are not desperate for sex with her!

Tip #20: Always Clean Your Car And House Before Your Date

Tip #20 Always Clean Your Car And House Before Your Date

You never know if you might offer a lady a ride, or take her back to your place.

So always be ready!

I once had a date with a woman and agreed to meet with her downtown. But about 20 minutes after meeting, it was obvious that things were going to get hot and heavy… so we moved it to my car.

Thankfully, my car was super clean and smelled nice, which added to the romantic atmosphere. I won’t divulge the details… but we ended up having quite a bit of fun over the next couple of hours!

What if I had failed to keep my car clean? It would have been so much less romantic and sexy!

Tip #21: Always Be Talking To More Than One Woman, Period

Tip #21 Always Be Talking To More Than One Woman, Period

One of the worst mistakes men make is to pine after one woman!

This is also one of the more unpopular dating tips for men, as a lot of men love the fantasy of a fairy-tale romance.

But we do not live in a fairy tale. We live in a cause-and-effect reality, driven by evolution and adaptation!

As powerful alpha men, we need to get used to balancing several different prospective dating partners at once.

If you are only talking to one girl, the odds of you acting clingy or over-interested are super high, and you will run the risk of scaring her off.

But if you are talking to three or four different women at the same time, you can spread your time and attention out more widely… which will increase the demand for your time, and make you seem that much more desireable.

Don’t forget… men surrounded by beautiful women are virtually always seen as being more desirable to high-value women!

Tip #22: Pay For The Date

Tip #22 Pay For The Date

In our modern world, where people are putting up a huge debate about whether or not men should actually pay for dates, the official alpha male perspective is this…

If you are legitimately interested in her, pay for the dinner/drinks/whatever.

If you are short on cash, go get coffee instead of dinner… and then, start focusing on building wealth for yourself and becoming financially self-sufficient!

A powerful, effective alpha male should always have enough cash on hand to treat a lady. That is just the simple, short fact of it.

This signals to the woman that you have resources, and that you are not afraid to channel some of them her way. And this is a very desirable trait in a man!

Tip #23: Keep Online Dating To A Minimum – And Commit To Meeting Women In Real Life As Well

Tip #23 Keep Online Dating To A Minimum – And Commit To Meeting Women In Real Life As Well

Online dating can sometimes feel like the only option… but it isn’t!

There is nothing wrong with using online dating to meet people, especially if you are busy.

But a powerful alpha male will also not hesitate to flirt with women he meets in the real world.

Striking a balance between these two things is very important!

The key here is to be authentic without being afraid of rejection.

You want to be yourself, chase excellence, and strive to level-up as a man.

But at the same time, you also want to be open to engaging with women along the way on your journey.

Remember, Women Are Not The Focus Of Your Life – They Are A High-Quality Addition!

As a powerful alpha male who wants to win with women, it may feel counter-intuitive to not make them the focus of your attention.

But that is exactly what you should do.

Men who focus on becoming high value men, pursuing their purpose, and leaving a lasting legacy in life… these just also happen to be the exact types of men that women are going to be the most attracted to.

Focus on your own life, men… and focus on building value.

Also level up your attraction skills at the same time… and you will 1000% win!

Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.

Until next time…

Joshua Sigafus