Lately, I’ve noticed that I’ve been struggling with happiness.
Life is really good. I’m extremely grateful for all of the good things I have, and that have happened to me.
But that doesn’t mean that I always remember to be grateful. And it doesn’t mean that I always manage to ‘magically’ remain happy.
I’ve been pretty successful in my dating life. I don’t have any kind of problems scheduling dates, or getting people to notice me.
I’ve been practicing the five core overarching dating skills for years now. And at this point, they’re pretty much second nature to me.
Plus, I’m a lot more confident, outgoing, and connected with other humans than I used to be.
But lately, I’ve also been running into a different problem.
See, as I strive to build my business, achieve my legacy, and generate true financial success for myself, I realize that I get really bogged down in the grind of that lifestyle.
Lately, I’ve realized that I haven’t put as much time and effort into cultivating true happiness for myself.
And I’ve learned over the years that this is a problem. Here’s why.
Pursuing Happiness Is Important
Happiness is a moving target.
A lot of people chase happiness for the sake of happiness.
I used to do this all the time. In fact, until I figured out what my true purpose was in life, this was really the philosophy I lived by.
“Experience as much happiness as possible, and reduce suffering as much as possible.”
But now, I see this as being the wrong way to go about it.
Rather than chasing happiness just for the sake of being happy, we should pursue our purpose and our passions in life, and then allow happiness to happen organically.
The truth is that, in this life filled with chaos, asking to be made happy is legitimately asking for too much.
But—it’s also something that I’ve been guilty of, as of late.
Does Being Happy Make You Look Better to Potential Dating Partners?
From an attraction standpoint, it’s also important to understand that failing to generate happiness for yourself will also make you less attractive to potential dating partners.
If we want people to find us attractive and love us, it’s in our best interest to create happiness for ourselves that will radiate outwards and attract others to us.
And so, in this blog post, I’m going to give you five tips for how to generate more happiness in your life, so that you’ll feel happier more often, and also reap the important benefits that happiness brings to your attraction levels.
5 Ways To Generate More Happiness (And Attraction) In Your Life, Starting Today
1. Make Sure To Do Things That You Enjoy
This doesn’t mean that you should cast all of your responsibilities aside and just always do fun stuff.
That would be irresponsible. And in the long term, that would have an even greater negative impact on your levels of happiness.
What I’m talking about is this: spending just a little bit of extra time every day making sure that you’re pursuing something enjoyable to you.
This is part of having a productive life.
It’s part of having a happy life.
In fact, at the core of the Alpha mentality is the mandate to create our own destiny.
And so, it’s important to understand that we need to take responsibility for doing things that are going to bring a greater sense of joy and happiness into our own lives.
2. Spend Less Time With Unhappy People
This is kind of a two pronged tip.
On one hand, it seems intuitive.
Obviously if we spend more time with unhappy people, we’re going to be less happy because that lack of happiness is going to rub off on us.
But there’s also another, perhaps even deeper question to be asked here.
Are you the type of person other people can spend time with, and be happier as a result?
Or are you the type of person who saps joy away from other people?
In other words, are you a positive person, or a negative person?
This is a vital question to ask yourself, and it speaks right to the heart of how happiness affects our attraction.
3. Try Not To Take Life So Seriously
This is probably the tip that’s the hardest for me to follow.
I’m a really goal oriented, achievement-focused kind of person.
So for me, it’s really difficult to not take the important things in life extremely seriously.
But here’s the problem with that.
When we take everything too seriously, we tend to limit our own happiness.
See, being super serious about the things you’re trying to accomplish can be an asset to your life, but it can also tend to make you less fun to be around.
As a general rule, the vast majority of happy people have a difficult time interfacing with those of us who take life too seriously.
So give yourself a moment to just step back and chill out.
Sometimes, it’s worth it to walk away for a bit and just be carefree.
4. Avoid Dangerous Vices
I believe there are two ways to go about creating happiness.
- We can create happiness through organic, positive life experiences
- We can create temporary happiness through the use of artificial and/or dangerous vices and crutches
Engaging in dangerous vices or crutches would mean doing things like smoking, drinking, drugs, and watching pornography. These are the most obvious examples of this in my book.
See, as an example, I’ve spent way too much time in my life chasing happiness through drinking and pornography. And I can safely say that those endeavors were not only temporary, but also a waste of my time that only served to do further harm in the long-term.
Some people may not agree that pornography belongs in this list along with habits like smoking or drug use, but check out this post to learn about how, in the long term, porn can actually be really bad for you, and can lead you to a greater sense of unhappiness overall.
You can also check out this post to learn about how, for me, watching too much porn in my life led to me having some pretty serious intimacy issues with real-life women.
When seeking happiness, we don’t want to be digging a hole for ourselves.
We want to be climbing out of the negativity and venturing out into broader, newer, brighter, more joyful horizons.
So abandon dangerous vices and crutches, and generate happiness pursuing the things you legitimately enjoy that have a positive impact on your life.
5. Master Your Guilt
I know a lot of people who are wracked by guilt.
They feel guilty about past failed relationships, they feel guilty about arguments, they feel guilty about failing in-general, etc.
See, guilt is useful in very very small amounts.
In some ways, it helps us to learn what we should and shouldn’t do when interfacing with other humans.
But here’s the tricky thing about guilt.
The moment you feel its initial pangs and you become aware of its existence, it has already done the full extent of its useful job.
The problem, however, is that guilt tends to stick around inside of us for far too long.
And we can tend to get overloaded with it.
So if you do something that causes you to feel guilty, take note of that guilt. Let it teach you a lesson (if there’s a lesson to be learned).
Then, try your best to just forgive yourself and move on.
The guilt has already done its job. And at this point, all it’s doing is hurting you further and taking away from happiness that could be making your life (and the lives of the people around you) better.
Guilt is a pretty tough thing to overcome. I’ve dealt with a lot of it in my life.
And I still deal with it, even to this day.
But as I grow more secure in the fact that guilt doesn’t serve much of a useful purpose beyond its initial pangs, I seem to get better at letting it go and moving on.
There’s no easy way around that one. It just takes some real effort and mental focus.
In Conclusion – Does Happiness Make You More Attractive?
In short, yes.
Being happy is important.
It’s important for your attraction, and it’s important for your dating life.
But it’s also important for your relationship with yourself.
Hopefully these tips will give you some insight into how you can generate more happiness, and experience more attraction in your own life.
At the end of the day, life is too short to spend so much of it unhappy.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
Until next time,
Joshua K Sigafus