Lately, I’ve been falling into the trap of dumbing myself down for other people.
I think it happens because I’m tempted to want to be a ‘nice guy.’
See, as a recovering people pleaser, it’s sometimes hard to fight my instinct to just agree with people to avoid conflict, or to avoid hurting their feelings.
But this not only gives away my power… it also causes me to be less effective.
Here’s the thing, men and women.
If you really want to be effective in this world….
And if you really want to be successful….
And if you really want to contribute to the world in a positive way…
You must avoid the temptation to dumb yourself down to avoid conflict with other people.
Here’s the real truth.
The more set in stone you are on your purpose, the less people are going to understand you when you’re talking in honest truths with them.
For example, I am becoming more and more disciplined in my life on a daily basis, and learning how to get more and more work done with my available time.
I’m hungry, and I keep striving to be better.
I’m becoming more and more disciplined, and try to take care of my body, lose weight, and look and feel my best every day.
My habits improve every day.
Every day, I’m doing a little bit more to optimize my life and get myself to where I want to be.
This is what I mean when I say to become 1% better every day.
But here’s the issue with that when it comes to other people.
See, most people don’t get 1% better every day.
Most people actually stagnate. And when you stagnate, the cold, hard truth of it is that you actually deteriorate.
See, you’re putting in the effort to pull yourself up, while they sit back and allow themselves to sink even deeper into the quicksand of chaos and entropy.
As you pull yourself up to get onto the higher deck of the ship, they’re falling and sinking deeper beneath the waves of life that crash over them.
Obviously, over time, this is going to open a chasm.
This distance makes it difficult for humans on either side of it to interface with one another effectively.
If you speak your real truth from this position, you’re going to have to risk offending people…
And you’re going to have to let go of the temptation to just be nice and avoid conflict.
Because every single day of your life that you spend trying to become better is a day of conflict.
And every time you speak that truth, you’re going to sound like you’re attacking the person who doesn’t want to do that work.
It’s just that simple.
So at the end of the day, here’s what you really need to do…
- Focus on becoming 1% better every day.
- Keep working to optimize your life and reach your goals.
- Keep making yourself the best person you can possibly be.
- But also speak the truth, and don’t let a single person hold you back in any way from becoming the person you need to be.
Sometimes, you have to speak the truth even if it seems harsh.
Sometimes you have to cut ties, even if that seems harsh.
But if you let people drag you down, or if you let people complicate your journey, that’s only going to hold you back—and you’re gonna have to struggle that much harder.
And trust me, it isn’t worth it.
It never has been, and it never will be.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus