I’ve actually heard this a lot… men who are so discouraged with women that they want to give up on dating.
Well, I’m here today to tell you not to do that.
Dating can be tough. Being rejected can be tough.
And to be quite honest, I get it. Between ‘toxic masculinity’ and ‘feminists hating men,’ it can sometimes feel like it might just be better to say ‘fuck it,’ with women in-general, and walk away from them.
But it is also important to understand that the best things in life happen when we don’t give up.
And while you’ve probably had some bad experiences with women, I think that you should give it another shot before throwing in the towel.
This is why I don’t want any man who is truly interested in women to give up on dating… especially if you’re an alpha.
Let’s dive in.
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If you’re having problems figuring out how to succeed with dating, I wholeheartedly recommend this book, by Kezia Noble.
Kezia Noble is the world’s leading female pick-up artist trainer, and in this book, she dives headfirst into teaching men how to understand women, level up their attraction skills, and succeed on the sexual marketplace.
This book in incredible. I learned so much from it and it helped me to understand women in a whole new way, and I think that every alpha male need to buy a copy for his own alpha male bookshelf!
Alright. Now, let’s talk about whether or not to give up on dating.
Is It Ok To Give Up On Dating?
If someone is talking about wanting to give up on dating, it is usually because they are frustrated that it doesn’t seem to be working out for them.
Fair enough! I get it. I’ve had my fair share of rejection in life as well.
But believe me when I say that there is light at the end of the tunnel, my friends.
Attraction, like anything else in life, is a skill.
And the best way to level up any skill is to practice it.
Plus, as men who are interested in cultivating positive relationships with women, we owe it not only to ourselves, but also to high-value women, to stick with it.
Why? Because if we look deeply enough within ourselves, we will realize that we actually want it.
Men are frustrated with women because they want it to work out, even though it never seems to.
I get that as well, and I have been there.
Let me tell you a story about myself that might give you a little bit of encouragement.
What To Do When You’re Tired Of Dating
When I was a teenager, I was incredibly frustrated with dating.
Looking back on it, I realize now that I was just new to it and learning about it. But I felt like it was so discouraging.
I felt like I was never good enough for any girl I was interested in.
But now, looking back, I realize that I was doing a lot of things wrong.
I was needy, I was clingy, and I was scared to death of rejection and being alone… and I know that these tendencies kept me from having the kinds of awesome experiences I should have been having with people.
I was a long way away from the Oath of Kings that now governs my life. I was only barely beginning to understand the most basic concepts of what it means to be an alpha male.
I was actually a beta… obsessed with my own lack of self-esteem, desperately wanting love and validation from someone else.
But this was the wrong path.
When I met my wife, I was just 16 years old. We ‘fell in love,’ and had a pretty successful relationship.
I was so happy that I had found someone. I was so happy that I had found love.
But the truth was that I never gave myself a chance to learn what I was doing wrong in life. My marriage became a bandaid for my beta-male mindset and my lack of self-confidence… And the problems I faced in my earlier dating life followed me into my marriage.
I was afraid of rejection. I was terrified that my wife would ‘fall out of love’ with me. I didn’t trust anyone to actually love me, because I had a huge self-loathing problem, and I didn’t love myself.
I was filled with all kinds of shame. I was ashamed that I didn’t make more money. I was ashamed that I wanted sex so badly. I was ashamed that my wife didn’t seem to want me as much as I wanted her. I was ashamed that I would get mad and frustrated in life.
In truth, I felt utterly powerless.
And in the end, this took its toll on my marriage… and it was a big part of why we ended up getting divorced.
We were married for about 11 years, and had two children. But once my wife and I split up, I realized that I had never really learned to love myself or be my own person.
I had gotten married so young that I never learned to cultivate those ‘attraction habits’ that I should have worked on before I got into a relationship.
[Check out this post… Should Alpha Men Talk About Their Feelings?]
I Learned How To Take Responsibility For Myself And Find My Own Sense Of Identity And Purpose
This was the biggest lesson that I needed to learn.
Eventually, as I began my alpha male journey and started traveling this road, I realized that I was actually a scared, whiny little boy.
I don’t say that to disrespect myself. I say it out of honesty and humility.
I had never learned anything else! I had not yet learned what a true alpha male was.
I was so terrified of losing that I never took any risks or chances. And I also never really leveled-up with women, because I was so automatically afraid of putting myself out there.
But once I learned that everything is a skill, I learned that I was not naturally terrible with women or horrible at dating.
I just didn’t know how to do it correctly.
So I started learning, and I started practicing, and I started trying to figure out how to do it correctly.
And eventually, I ended up making a lot of headway.
But That Was Only The Beginning…
To truly win with women, we must let go of our obsession with them.
We must let go of the need to try to control them out of fear.
We must let go of our fear of rejection, and our desire to be loved by someone else.
We must learn to embrace ourselves, and survive through our own strength.
We must learn to grow up, get stronger, get tougher, and stand on our own two feet.
We must learn to cultivate wisdom, patience, understanding, empathy, leadership, and self-discipline.
We also need to learn to build wealth for ourselves.
As alpha men, these are our mandates. These are our tenants.
I started hitting the gym. I started talking myself up in the mirror every day. I started eating healthier. I started learning more about women. I read great, positive books about how to be a better human and a better man.
And slowly, I started to change.
I Began To Transform Myself From A Whiny Beta Into A Powerful Alpha
I stopped complaining. I started gaining more self confidence. I started loving myself.
I started trying harder to succeed in my business, and in my life.
I started trying to be a better friend, and to be good to the people around me.
I learned that I needed to learn to be my own person before I could really learn to win with women.
I absolutely came to a point where I wanted to give up on dating.
But every time I got to that point, I would pick myself off, brush off the rejection, and say to myself “alright, time to try again. Let’s do this.”
And over time, this practice helped me to understand women in a totally different light.
I started to understand what women wanted, how to be desirable, how to be a high-value man, and how to find strength within myself.
I am now in a great relationship. And I have had, and continue to have, many awesome dating experiences with very beautiful and high-value women.
And I can tell you from experience that if I can create the kind of relationship destiny I want for myself, you can do the exact same.
Should I Give Up On Finding Love?
No. You should not give up on finding love.
Don’t give up on dating, and don’t be tempted to give up with women in-general, either.
Don’t give up on sex. Don’t give up on having quality female friends.
Do not give up on women… and do not give up on yourself.
I know that it can be complicated. Trust me… I have been rejected more than probably any guy I know!
But I have also succeeded with women more than almost any other guy I know!
Why?
Because I had the courage to put myself out there, have good experiences, take my shot, and deal with the risk.
Do I still get shot down sometimes? Absolutely. I’m not a wizard who can have any woman he wants! I still get rejected all the time… and that is totally fine!
Do I still have awesome successes with women, and have a great time with high value women in my life?
Absolutely.
This is not a game of man against woman. This is a game of man trying to figure out how to be a high value man.
This is a battle we face within ourselves!
The Truth About Winning With Women
The truth about winning with women is that we must level up to be high value men. We must find our purpose, pursue our own path, and not focus so intensely on succeeding with women.
A woman should be a positive, healthy, pleasurable addition to a man’s life… not the focus of it!
That is how it needs to be… but for many men, this is difficult. It is difficult because they are so tempted to make women the focus of their lives.
But we must fight this temptation, and focus on ourselves and our destiny first… always.
Ignore the haters, the man haters, the nay-sayers, and the people who try to put you down.
Open your ears to people who have true wisdom and value to offer you.
Be very careful not to fall into the man-hating trap that some men and women get sucked into.
Men are not creatures to be hated. We are incredible, and we are powerful. But we must mature and learn to be strong, high value men of integrity, so that we do not hurt ourselves or the people around us.
In Conclusion – Don’t Give Up On Dating
Seek to level up as a man. Become a high-value alpha male, and women will be more naturally attracted to you.
Check out this article for practical tips on how to get started.
And check out this article for a list of 33 characteristics that every alpha male should embody.
You can also check out the Oath of Kings, my own personal alpha male code that I follow every day.
Seek to be great men. Don’t give up on dating. Instead, give up on your fears and defeat your low-self confidence.
Start cultivating power in your life, and take back control of your life from the chaos around you.
Also seek to level up your attraction as you grow.
When these things happen, you will see massive increases in the quality of women you are able to attract… and you will find a lot more power over your own life, to shape your sexual and relationship destinies as you see fit.
Go with grace, be strong men, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus