This one is mostly for the ladies. However, this is also a perfect list for men to look over, to see if they’re checking the right boxes.
As a woman, sometimes it can be difficult to know what to look for in a man. For good reason, most people focus primarily on red flag behavior as things to avoid.
But what are the good attributes? What kinds of character or personality traits should be present in the men you date?
In this post, I’m going to go in-depth and answer the question.
What Does ‘Green Flag’ Mean?
A ‘green flag behavior,’ which is the opposite of a ‘red flag behavior,’ is a behavior exhibited by a potential dating partner that indicates they would be a high-value, beneficial complement to your life, as opposed to someone who would cause problems and prove themselves a liability or threat to your safety and security.
In other words… men who would make good partners will exhibit ‘green flag’ behavior, while men who would not make good partners will exhibit ‘red flag’ behavior.
Women who learn to spot green flag and red flag behaviors are more likely to end up with high-quality relationships, and less likely to waste their time on men who wouldn’t make high-value partners.
18 Green Flag Behaviors of High-Value Men
1. He Will Approach You
You want a masculine man who is self-assured enough to approach you. This doesn’t mean that you can’t approach men from time to time. But it’s a huge green flag when a man is confident and brave enough to approach the woman he’s interested in.
2. He’ll Have Healthy Masculine Confidence
A strong, masculine man will be confident. If he lacks confidence, that’s a sign that either he’s still young and hasn’t proven himself yet, or that he’s lacking a ‘vital component’ that makes men the best that they can be.
You also don’t necessarily want an arrogant man. You want a man who understands his worth, but is also self-aware of his own shortcomings.
3. He’ll Be Dressed For Success
Nobody wants to date a slob.
This one is pretty straightforward.
If a man fails to show up ‘dressed for success’ (unless there’s a good reason for it), it’s speaking to a greater underlying problem.
He either doesn’t care about his own appearance, or he doesn’t care enough about you to put in the time to dress well.
In any case, it’s not a good sign.
4. He’ll Be Interested In You As A Person
You want men to be sexually interested in you.
But you don’t want him to be a heat-seeking vagina missile, either.
The ideal, green-flag man is one who is both sexually interested, but also interested in you as a person as well.
In other words, he should want to learn about your ideas, your beliefs, your values, etc.
5. He’ll Seek To Generate Connection
If a man doesn’t attempt to connect with you, it’s a sign that something is probably amiss.
A healthily masculine man won’t lay all of his ‘emotional cards’ on the table. But he will want to learn about you and share about himself as well.
A man who doesn’t seem interested in learning about you or sharing anything about himself is a bad sign.
6. He’ll Communicate Sexual Desire Without Making Sex The Entire Focus
You want a man who’s tactful.
You don’t want a boyish man who ‘giggles’ when you talk about sex.
A man who can communicate his sexual desires in a tactful way, without making them the focus of the conversation, is the type of man who understands a healthy dynamic. This is the kind of man you want.
7. His Life Won’t Be Dramatic Or Complicated
Men with simple, straightforward, uncomplicated lives make the most ideal potential boyfriends and husbands.
If his ex-wife is still blowing up his phone or taking him to court, it’s a sign that there are still complications and drama.
Be careful with such men.
8. He Won’t Be In A Hurry Or Be Pushy
An alpha-minded man will be at peace where he is. He won’t feel the need to be pushy, and he’ll be confident enough that he won’t have to be in a hurry.
He’ll be content to move at a healthy pace, but he won’t be afraid to ‘push the envelope’ a little bit either.
He’ll act on his desires without making you feel ‘pushed’ into anything.
9. He’ll Be At Peace With His Own Beliefs, Views, And Place In The World
An alpha man won’t get defensive when you disagree with him or ask him questions about his worldview, beliefs, or values.
He’ll be at peace with his beliefs, and will see this as an opportunity to discuss them and teach you about his views.
Be careful, though. Just because he doesn’t get defensive doesn’t mean that he’s interested in being ‘nagged’ about his beliefs from someone with a different opinion.
High-value men won’t waste time on a woman who starts fights, turns disagreements into arguments, or gets combative about differences in opinion.
10. He’ll Ask Questions And Share Information About Himself In Equal Amounts
A high value man won’t hog the spotlight.
He also won’t dodge questions or try to keep 100% of the focus on you.
He’ll want to learn about you and figure out if you may be the type of woman he’s actually interested in.
But he’ll also be willing to talk about himself to afford you the same courtesy.
Plus, if he’s interested in you, he’ll be excited to tell you about his life and bring you more into his frame. That’s really where connection is born, and it’s a thing that high-value men learn to enjoy while dating.
11. He’ll Be Honest
Don’t ever trust a man who will willingly lie to you.
A high-value man will speak the truth, even if you don’t want to hear it.
He’ll be a lot more interested in getting to the honest point than beating about the bush and bullshitting.
An honest man isn’t always ‘easy’ to date. But it’s a high-value trait, and more women should value it.
12. He’ll Pay
A man who won’t pay on the first date is saying one of three things.
- I don’t have the cash to pay
- I’m a feminist and don’t want to infringe on a woman’s right to pay for her own meal
- I’m not interested enough in her to spend my resources on her
None of these points, however, are going to set you on the path to dating a strong, masculine-framed man who understands the importance of providing strength, security, and safety for the woman in his life.
A high-value man will always agree to pay for the first date.
13. He’ll Be Interested In Your Ideas And Beliefs
Does he care about what you think about things?
Does he seem to have a legitimate interest in learning about you as a human?
These are really good signs.
They’re signs that he’s actually interested in you as a person.
But they’re also signs that you’re not just a ‘pretty face’ to him.
A man should want you for your body and your brain.
As a woman, it’s in your best interest to make sure that he’s legitimately interested in both your ideas and your beliefs in life, to ensure that his intentions are in the right place.
14. He’ll Make An Effort To Contact You Later
If you don’t hear anything for more than a few days after getting together, that’s not a good sign.
If he’s interested, he’ll probably be in touch to schedule a follow-up date sooner rather than later.
If he doesn’t text you for two weeks, but then hits you up in the middle of the night for a booty call… he’s not actually interested in you.
Whereas a man who is interested in you will get back to you within the next day or two to follow up, tell you that he had fun, and continue to pursue something.
15. He Has A Purpose And A Direction In Life
You want a man who understands his place and purpose in life.
If he has no idea what he’s doing in life, and has no idea what problem he wants to help solve in the world, then he’s the kind of man who is truly lacking direction.
Whereas, if he seems to understand not only where he is, but also where he’s going in life, that’s the sign of a man who is living with true purpose and direction.
16. He’ll Have His Business And Money In Order
You don’t want a man who’s broke.
You don’t want a man who is irresponsible with his resources.
But even more than that, you don’t want a man who lives with a scarcity mindset in regards to money.
You want a man who has a healthy understanding about how important money is, with a plan to generate plenty of it in his lifetime.
A man who’s working hard to get his business and money in order is the type of man you want to date, whereas the type of man who isn’t focused on increasing his monetary status and power probably lacks that vital ‘status awareness’ you want in a man.
17. He’ll Be Kind, Respectful, And Empathetic
You don’t want a nice guy. In other words, you don’t want a guy who will let you push him around.
But you do want a man who knows how to be kind and respectful, even when setting and enforcing boundaries.
You also want a man who can tell when a woman is feeling certain types of emotions, and knows how to handle those types of situations.
Be leery of men who seem to be disconnected from the reality of a woman’s emotions.
A true alpha will understand enough to know how to manage these things well.
18. He’ll Also Be Tough, And Won’t Tolerate Bullshit
At the end of the day, you don’t want a man who’s going to tolerate any bullshit… from you, or anyone else.
You want a man who has the capability to be tough as nails, but also to enforce his boundaries what kindness and respect.
This is the type of alpha man you want in your life, because you know that he’ll have the strength to weather powerful storms in life with strength and grace.
This is a sign of a true alpha gentleman.
How Do You Know When A Man Is Serious?
How do you know when a man is committed to you, and not just trying to gain sexual access?
A man who actually wants you as a person will display signs that he’s willing to channel resources (time, sexual energy, emotional energy, money, etc.) to you, and only to you as the primary woman in his life.
For a complete list of signs that a man is indeed interested in committing to you (and not just trying to gain sexual access), check out this post.
Keep In Mind That Women And Men Approach ‘Connection’ From Different Directions
For the most part, women need to feel connected in order to want sex, while men generally work from the opposite direction. After sex, men will tend to feel that they can be more vulnerable and open with their partners.
In other words, it’s healthy for a man to desire a sexual relationship with you, even if he desires such a relationship before moving to the ‘agreement phase’ of the relationship (the point where the two of you make agreements and actually commit to one another).
Understandably so, men will want to make sure that they’re sexually compatible with you, and that the subsequent connection they feel meets their emotional needs.
This is important to understand because some women interpret signs of sexual interest as a red-flag that ‘all he wants is sex.’
But it’s important to understand that a man desiring you sexually isn’t, in itself, a red flag… unless it’s accompanied by other red-flag behaviors that lead you to believe that he’s not being honest about his true intentions.
Check out this video to learn more about what constitutes ‘red flag behavior’ in men.
In other words, desiring sex isn’t a red flag. But pretending to want a committed relationship when he’s only interested in gaining sexual access is.
That’s why it’s important to understand the full spectrum of red flag behaviors in men, so that you can vet out the men who display them and focus more of your attention on men who are exhibiting green flag behaviors.
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand the many different signs of green flag behaviors in high value men, and has equipped you with everything you need to vet men properly.
Understanding red and green flags is important.
Just remember… if you see red flags, don’t ignore them.
And learn not to settle for men who aren’t displaying strong, masculine green flag behavior.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus