What Is A High-Value Man?
High-value man definition:
A high value man fully embraces his natural masculine role in the world, chooses to seek self-improvement of the mind, body, and spirit on a daily basis, and commits himself to creating a lasting, permanent legacy of greatness in the world around him.
He is a man who chooses, first and foremost, to pursue a greater purpose in life, and to make life better and more successful for not just himself, but also for his tribe.
Now:
Why is this important, and how do you become one?
You want to be successful.
You want to win with women.
You want to make money, gain status and power, and live the life of a champion.
Good. You should want to do all of those things.
Now… how do you do it?
These are actually essential questions to the alpha male journey. And today, I’m going to take you through them, one step at a time.
A lot of people don’t actually understand what I mean when I use the term ‘high value man.’
Some people even see the term as ‘offensive,’ because it implies that some men are worth more than others.
Well, in this post, we’re going to talk about that as well.
Note: If you’re interested in the content matter of this post, then you’ll definitely be interested in our master guide to leveling up in mind, body, and spirit. Make sure to check that out to get a complete rundown of the entire level-up process, from beginning to end.
What Does It Mean To Be High Value?
Simply put, being high-value means being a man who embraces the alpha mentality… who minds his business, builds wealth, and pursues a greater purpose in life.
A man of this caliber will be focused on leveling up, and striving every day to be better than the man he was yesterday.
This will do two very important things in his life:
- It will make him an effective man who moves forward in life and finds success
- It will make him highly desirable to women on the sexual marketplace
The important thing here is to understand that being high value doesn’t start with how desirable you are on the sexual marketplace.
Rather, it starts with being effective, being capable of leaving a lasting, meaningful dent in the universe, and creating true value.
As a side effect, such a man is also bound to create a high sexual marketplace value for himself.
This may seem counterintuitive, but it’s true.
What Is Sexual Marketplace Value?
A human’s sexual marketplace value is basically a measurement of how appealing and desirable they are as sexual partners.
In this post, we’re talking specifically about men who want to embrace the alpha mentality, succeed in life, and win with women… so the measure of a man’s sexual marketplace value, in this very specific context, is how desirable and appealing he is to women, and how likely a woman is to find him attractive as a potential sexual partner, dating partner, husband, etc.
Incidentally, this also plays right into the alpha male journey.
Why? Because pursuing excellence and the alpha mentality will also directly contribute to increasing your sexual marketplace value as a man.
Let’s talk about that.
Pursuing The Alpha Male Journey Will Also Increase Your Sexual Marketplace Value
If you want to understand what I mean when I talk about pursuing the alpha male journey, check out my own personal alpha code… The Oath of Kings and Queens.
This is a set of 18 alpha mentality vows that I strive to live my life by, every single day. These vows, when followed properly, help me to not only pursue excellence and value in my life for myself, but they also directly contribute to me becoming a higher-value man to women as well.
Men who choose to pursue excellence in their lives by pursuing the alpha male journey also, as a direct consequence, end up increasing their sexual marketplace value.
And here is why.
Why Women Tend To Be Drawn To True High Value Alpha Males
Women are, for the most part, attracted the most to men who display alpha male personality traits.
Why?
Because women have evolved to solve a specific set of problems related to survival, not only for themselves, but also for their children.
I’m going to try to lay this out really simply.
But keep in mind that this is all very instinctual and contextual.
Obviously, our personal sexual motivations and preferences vary from person to person and from context to context, based on our past experiences, personal beliefs, upbringing, worldview, etc.
But what we’re looking at here is the foundation of sexual instinct within women, which has evolved over millions of years to help them solve certain adaptive problems.
I call this a core evolutionary sexual programming.
And while it only accounts for a small part of the mate selection process, it is still always present as a foundational element. And that’s why it’s such a powerful and foundational set of concepts to understand.
And even if women consciously or unconsciously choose to suppress this sexual instinct, it’s still very much alive and well within them, and plays into their mate-selection processes in a surprisingly and predictably significant way.
The Problems Women Face In Trying To Find A Mate
Women face a few major problems when it comes to selecting a proper mate.
To put it quite simply, women are driven to not only survive, but to also do whatever they can to increase the odds of survival for their offspring.
This is, instinctively, one of the fundamental driving forces that has driven female mating behavior for millennia… and it has proven to be a very successful venture, as is evidenced by all of the humans alive in the world today.
Above all else, women value effectiveness, resource potential, and the willingness to share resources as the traits they most value in men… as having a male willing to channel resources to her and her children greatly increases her odds of survival.
Here are just some of the reasons for why women look for high-value men to date, mate, and pair-bond with.
- Sex has always been riskier for women
- Mating with a partner who is only going to leave the woman after-the-fact leaves her vulnerable. Getting pregnant with a man who’s not going to be around to protect and provide for her and her children would have been quite dangerous in a primitive context
- Therefore, it has always been in a woman’s best interest to attract and secure commitment from men of high value, who had the resources, strength, intelligence, tribal/family connections, and ambition required to successfully and willingly care for her, protect her, and ensure that she and her offspring had the best odds for survival
- A woman who failed to secure the commitment of such a man, made a poor mate selection choice, or could only manage to secure the commitment of a sub-par man, could face many challenges, including the risk of starvation, vulnerability to violence, lack of shelter, lack of tribal support and connections, etc.
Of course, women today who live in the modern world don’t really need to be this selective for their survival. Thanks to our civilized society, especially here in the western world, and thanks to the invention of birth control, women can plan when they wish to reproduce, and rarely starve to death if their boyfriend/husband/hook-up runs off on them.
But… that’s beside the point. Because the instincts that drive their mate selection processes are still very much alive and well within them today.
So even though women know that they don’t necessarily need a man to take care of them… and even though they can consciously, or subconsciously, overrule their core sexual programming to make other choices… they still tend to be attracted the most to effective men with resource potential and the willingness to share those resources with his family/tribe.
Women care about this because they evolved to solve very important core adaptive problems.
It’s an instinct. And the better men get at understanding this, the better they will get at understanding their natural role not only in nature, but also in the context of the social world and the sexual marketplace.
What Are Resources?
Some people think that this makes all women sound like gold-diggers. But that’s not at all what I’m implying.
Money and material wealth are one type of resource, but there are also many other types of resources to consider:
- Emotional energy
- Time
- Sexual energy
- Social/tribal connections
- His willingness to share what resources he has, which is also in itself a resource
- Status
- Intelligence
- Empathy
- Physical power and athleticism (especially important for fending off predators and rivals)
- Good physical health and body symmetry (made him a more trustworthy provider, and was a marker of quality genetic material)
- Other markers of future wealth (being ambitious, industrious, adaptive, etc.)
There are many different types of resources that men can offer women… though this is definitely not to downplay the importance of material wealth, either.
Many scientific studies have shown that women are more sexually interested in higher status men.
One super-interesting study, concluded in 2014, showed that men were rated as more attractive by women when they were photographed in a luxury apartment. Check out this quote from the study abstract:
“These findings add to a growing body of work highlighting the importance of contextual, evolutionarily relevant status cues in male attractiveness judgements.”
Manipulated luxury-apartment ownership enhances opposite-sex attraction in females but not males: Authors: Dr. Michael J. Dunn and A. Hill
It’s also very well documented that women are hypergamous by nature. They mate across and up dominance hierarchies, while men mate across and down.
One piece of evidence for this was a paper by Elizabeth Cashdan, titled “Women’s Mating Strategies,” published in the journal Evolutionary Anthropology 5:134–143, 1996.
Also, check out this very interesting clip on the topic of female hypergamy, where Jordan Peterson describes the phenomenon in one of his lectures.
Within this clip, Jordan Peterson states, with plain simplicity, the entire basis for why being a man of high-value is important on the sexual marketplace… a core dynamic to mating behavior that has been proven over and over again by science; a dynamic that’s hard-at-work in the grand, sophisticated, yet chaotic homo sapien mating dance:
“The socioeconomic status of a woman determines almost zero of her attractiveness towards a man. Whereas the socioeconomic status of a man is a major determiner of his attractiveness to a woman… and it isn’t his wealth, either. Because that has been tested. It is his capacity to generate, and be productive, and to share. Because that beats the hell out of wealth.”
Jordan Peterson
He also goes on to say this…
“Wealth can disappear, right? But the capacity to be productive and share, that is a much more important element…”
Jordan Peterson
What Is Valued In A Man?
It’s obvious that women value resource potential in male sexual partners. They also value the man’s willingness to share those resources with his mate/partner/tribe.
And why not? When we were cavemen, this would have been a very rational thing for women to desire.
At the end of the day, this really just boils down to the idea that women adapted to choose sexual partners who they saw as more likely to stick around, lend a hand, raise the children, and care for the family.
That’s it. That’s really the entire thing… and it made sense, because this is how humans survived for millennia.
And we literally evolved/adapted to solve these problems, and so these female mating behaviors, and the mate selection processes, became ingrained in women to the point where they became strongly instinctual; and they continue to be so, even to this present day.
Our evolutionary sexual programming and human mating behavior is constantly at work in all of us.
How To Increase Your Value As A Man
You increase your value as a man by becoming a competent, effective, formidable man who’s capable of generating resources, solving problems, and providing protection and security for your tribe, circle, family, and community. The better a man gets at these core evolutionary masculine mandates, the higher his perceived value will be among women and other men.
What Are Good Qualities In A Man?
So, what are good qualities in a man? What are the qualities that cause a man to be a ‘higher value’ man, and what exactly does that mean?
Let’s break it down as simply as possible.
33 High Value Man Traits
The traits, qualities, and characteristics of a high-value man are as follows:
- Self-sufficiency
- Self-love
- Responsibility
- Self-empowerment
- Wisdom
- Restraint
- Balance
- Bravery
- Kindness
- Respectfulness
- Intentionality
- Strength of character/integrity
- Self-ownership
- Gratitude
- Honesty
- Not afraid of healthy conflict/confrontation
- Excellence
- Self-improvement
- Leadership
- Ambition
- He pushes himself
- Loyalty
- Orderliness
- Rationality
- Relentlessness
- He has a purpose
- He strives to leave a lasting legacy
- He is patient
- He doesn’t get caught up in petty drama
- He holds himself to the highest standards
- He masters his guilt
- He’s not afraid to go to war, though he’ll do everything in his power to make peace
- He’s aware of his own mortality, and understands that today is the day to live gloriously
High-Value Man Vs. Alpha Male – What’s The Difference?
If there were ever any difference between a high value man and an alpha male, the only difference would be that an alpha male also embraces the mantle of alpha leadership and strives to always be the best man in the room. There are some men in this world who may technically be high-value men, who don’t necessarily want to be leaders or strive to become the ‘best in the room.’ All true alpha males are also high-value men, and I would always encourage men who wish to be high-value to also seek the alpha path, which is why I’ve included such instructions in this post. However, it is possible that not all high-value men will want to follow the full-fledged alpha path.
With that being said, these two terms almost mean exactly the same thing.
How To Become A High-Value Man – 23 Habits To Become A High-Value Man
1. Develop Powerful Self-Responsibility
A high value man is always self-responsible. He understands that everything is his fault, and that if he wants to change his destiny, he must take direct action and work to make it so.
2. Stop Giving Away Your Power
Powerful, high-value men understand that they can never give away their power if they want to be truly effective in life.
3. Get Control Of Your Life
Take control of your life. Stop allowing your life to be tossed forwards and backwards by chaos.
Become strong enough to get a grip on it. Pay your bills, start going to bed at a reasonable time, start getting your work done… do whatever it takes to get your life back on track.
To learn more about this, check out this guide: How To ‘Mind Your Business’ Like A True Alpha.
4. Become More Self Reliant
True high value men are self-reliant. This means that they stand up on their own two feet. They don’t expect anyone else to support them and make it easier for them.
It takes tremendous inner strength to be self-reliant. But this must be your permanent mode of being as a high-value man.
5. Embrace The Alpha Mentality
The alpha mentality is essential to the high-value male mindset.
Check out this post for a list of 33 vital alpha mentality personality traits, and start leveling them up today.
6. Stop Making Excuses
Excuses make us weak.
Repeat after me.
Everything is my fault.
When you start to think about life in these terms, things get really, really simple.
Check out this video to understand what I mean.
This must become your primary mode of focus.
No more excuses. Only action and solutions.
7. Start Leveling Up: Mind, Body, And Spirit
We must constantly be leveling up our mind, body, and spirit if we wish to fully embrace a high-value state.
Read great books.
Hit the gym.
Develop some spiritual exercises.
Work on becoming 1% better everyday than you were yesterday.
Read this guide to learn more about this: How To Level Up Your Mind, Body, And Spirit.
8. Cultivate Gratitude
As alpha leaders, high-value men must develop a profound attitude of gratitude in their lives.
Understand that without our tribe, we are nothing.
You cannot separate the alpha mentality from strong leadership.
Be grateful for not only the people around you, but also for your good health, and the chance to wake up and fight the battle another day.
9. Get Tougher
As high value men, we don’t have the luxury of being weak-minded or feeble.
You need to develop some mental and physical toughness.
Learn not to back down from conflict.
Learn to fight.
Learn to get hit and get back up.
Get tougher.
10: Develop Yourself As A Leader
Leadership is essential to a high-value alpha mindset.
Check out this list of leadership practices to learn more about how to be an effective alpha leader.
Remember, we are nothing without our tribe.
Lead from the front, lead with gratitude, lead with empathy… lead with strength and patience.
11. Practice Wealth-Building
Every high value man must be building wealth.
Read this post to learn why.
There is no such thing as a modern high value man who isn’t capable of generating some serious cash.
If your job sucks, start a side hustle or learn a high-income skill, and start making bank.
Read this guide to learn more about this step: 9 Steps For How To Build Sustainable Wealth.
12. Start Nurturing And Growing Your Tribe
As high value men, we must not be tyrants or jerks.
We must be empathetic leadership figures who go to bat every day for our tribe and loved ones.
Become a consoler in chief. Become the type of leader whom people can put their trust and loyalty in.
To learn more about this, read this guide: How To Build Your Tribe – Like A True Alpha Leader.
13. Figure Out Your Life’s Purpose, And Pursue It
If you don’t know what your life’s purpose is, check out this post and figure it out.
What problem do you want to solve in the world?
How do you want to make the world a better place?
What are you passionate about?
Answer these questions truthfully, and you’ll be on your way to figuring it out.
To learn more about this step, read this guide: How To Find Your Life Purpose And Achieve It – In 11 Steps.
13. Gain Control Of Your Emotions So That You’re Ruled By Order Instead Of Chaos
As high value men, we must embrace our true masculine energy… and cultivate order in our lives instead of chaos.
There’s nothing wrong with a little bit of chaos.
But if we allow it to get out of control, it’ll destroy everything we love and lead us only to suffering, sadness, and defeat.
We must lead rational lives. We must strategize and act in wisdom so that our actions have meaning and get positive results.
14. Develop A Powerful Masculine Frame
Having a dominant, masculine frame is incredibly important.
Without it, we will crumble and show ourselves as weak to not only other men, but also to other women.
Develop masculine frame by leveling up your self-respect, self-confidence, and body language, and by always striving to be the best man in the room.
15. Cultivate Confidence, Self-Assurance, And Self-Love
Speaking of confidence… as high value men, we must be leveling up our levels of confidence and self-assurance in life.
We must also be cultivating a healthy, honest self-love that validates us and keeps us from needing other people’s love just to feel good about ourselves.
Check out this post to learn some tips for leveling up your self-esteem.
16. Develop Wisdom
As high value men, it is imperative that we level up our wisdom.
We must act wisely. When we act foolishly and make stupid choices, we waste valuable resources and prove that we’re not being self-responsible.
Sure, you need to take risks.
But they should be calculated risks that you believe in.
17. Always Speak Honestly
Unless you are specifically deceiving an enemy because you intend to defeat them thoroughly in battle, never allow lies or dishonesty to escape from your mouth.
Do what you say you will do. Honor your word. Be the type of man whom others can depend on.
Always make sure that your actions and your words align together as the same.
18. Cultivate Massive Amounts Of Kindness And Respect
High-value men are tough, and they never shy away from a fight when it comes to something they truly believe in.
But make no mistake… they must also develop massive amounts of kindness and respect.
Even your worst enemies should be treated with respect.
This isn’t necessarily for other people. It is for you. It helps you to cultivate true loyalty among your tribe, and empowers you to live a life that is beyond reproach.
19. Tolerate Zero Bullshit From Anyone
High-value men may be kind… but they also set firm boundaries, and take zero shit from anyone who dares cross them.
When someone crosses a line, you immediately step into conflict mode and address it.
High-value alpha men understand that they must guard their boundaries with rigid tenacity and the willingness to engage in healthy conflict at a moment’s notice.
20. Grow Comfortable With Healthy Conflict
High value men don’t shy away from healthy conflict.
Why?
Because they understand that conflict is unavoidable if you want relationships to work.
Alpha mentality men navigate conflicts with patience, kindness, and respect… but they balance these things with iron-clad rigidity in demanding that their boundaries be respected.
This is a delicate balancing act. But it is crucial that you practice it.
21. Be Relentless In The Pursuit Of Things You Find Worthwhile
Far too many people give up when they run into hard times.
They give up in their relationships, on their dreams, with their businesses, with their weight-loss goals, etc.
High value men, by contract, don’t give up on the things they deem important and worthwhile.
They understand that true success requires commitment, and they’re relentless in their ability to see things through.
22. Be At Peace With Who And What You Are
As a high value man, you must be at peace with your masculinity and the fact that you’re a man.
We live in an age where far too many men are ashamed of being men.
But high value men understand their natural role in the world, and they embrace it fully.
23. Be Decisive, And Execute On Strong Decisions For The Betterment Of Your Life And Tribe
Last, but definitely not least, high value men are decisive. When they decide to take action, they do so with the full force of their willpower behind it.
They’re not going to act wishy washy.
They’re going to decide on a course of action, and see it through to the finish.
Books To Help You Become A High-Value Man
I read a lot of books (and listen to a lot of books on Audible) to help me learn new things and improve myself in life. This is part of the process of embracing true alpha mentality, and always striving to level up in mind, body, and spirit.
Here are some of my favorite books (that have helped me the most) on the topic of how to be a high-value man.
By Jordan B. Peterson
An amazing book that would be helpful to any human who wants to start succeeding in life in all of the ways that matter the most.
By David Goggins
If you really want to develop your mental toughness and overcome the victim mentality, this book is a MUST READ.
By Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
If you want to level up in the areas of leadership and radical self-responsibility, this book is an absolute alpha MUST READ.
By Robert Augustus Masters
If you’re on a journey to learn how to become a healthy, healed masculine man, then this book is a MUST READ.
By Judson Brandeis MD
This book is a MUST READ for men who want to maximize their alpha-mentality health and wellness outcomes. I’ve actually interviewed Dr. Braindeis – and the knowledge contained in this books will BLOW YOUR MIND!
By Frans De Waal
If you want to understand your emotions and utilize them to help you succeed in life, then this book is a MUST READ.
By Kezia Noble
My favorite all-around dating book for helping men to understand how to interface with women – with plenty of awesome insights that’ll doubtlessly help you with your dating game.
A High Value Male Understands That His Success Depends Upon His Actions
To put it very simply… a higher value man is going to be a man who is capable of not only caring for himself, but also for other people around him.
He’s going to be capable of being not only a self-reliant and self-sufficient man, but also a man capable of generating wealth, handling resources properly, and who is going to help the plight of those around him more than he hinders them.
There is a lot that goes into this, and that is really the entire basis for what I call the alpha male journey.
Every man should try to level up his life, to become more responsible, effective, capable, and powerful.
But do we do this because we want to win with women?
No. We don’t.
We do not make women our mission in life.
We do it because we want to be the best man that we can possibly be, to make the world a better place, and to leave a lasting legacy when we are gone.
But ironically; this type of man also wins the most with women.
Let me explain.
Winning with women should never be our primary goal… and that is one of the most important alpha male tenants to understand.
High value women are an awesome, positive addition to a man’s already awesome, productive, effective life. But they are not the focus of it.
As alpha males, we chase excellence and high-value first. Women are just an addition to our lives… albeit, a very pleasurable, healthy, beneficial, and important one!
Dating A High Value Man – Why Women Are More Likely To Choose Alpha Men
Here is my definition of what an alpha male truly is.
“An alpha male is a powerful, wise, effective leader who strives to pursue excellence and mastery in his life, who exists successfully at or near the top of all of his most crucial social dominance hierarchies and social circles.”
If we truly want to win with women, the true way to do so is not to focus all of our attention on pickup lines, pickup artistry, or even by focusing on our looks, our game, or how to talk to women we like.
Yes, we can get better at these things. And we should get better at them.
But these things do not, overall, make us higher value men. They simply help us to level up our attraction.
High value men win with women by:
- Embracing the alpha mentality
- Leveling up mind, body, and spirit
- Pursuing their purpose in life
- Organically expanding their social circles as they pursue their purpose
- Leveling up their attraction and dating skills along the way
- And building positive, productive habits that empower them to continue to make the alpha male journey a focal point for the rest of their lives
Because of how humans have evolved biologically, the most attractive thing that men can do is to focus on themselves, level up their lives, become high-value, powerful, effective leaders, build wealth, support their tribes and communities, stand up on their own two feet, take control of their own destiny, and create a lasting legacy and example in their life for those who may follow in their footsteps.
Of course, we also level up our attractiveness as well.
And in focusing on becoming great men, we invariably also become what women actually, truly want in a man… a powerful, effective alpha who is a strong, capable leader, and consoler in chief for his family, tribe, and community.
We Should All Strive To Be High Value Men
I think A LOT about these things.
And this, I believe, is our mandate.
To be high value men… not just for ourselves, but also for our families, tribes, and communities.
As a side-effect, you will also become much more attractive to high-value women… and that will also add to the greatness of your life and legacy.
Make no mistake.
Learning to be successful in your relationships with women, and learning to take control of your life so that you can have the kinds of sex, dating partners, and relationships you want is a powerful mandate, and an important one.
It just shouldn’t be your number-one focus, ever.
Your number one focus should always be this… be a high value man.
Need some help getting started? Check out this post for some awesome first steps.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus