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How Do You Attract A High Value Man

How Do You Attract A High Value Man?

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As I talk to more and more women about the challenges they face in their dating lives, I realize more and more that a lot of women are frustrated by their inability to locate, interact with, attract, and date truly high-value men.

Truth be told, there are a lot of high-value, attractive women in the world who are looking for a truly high-quality man to date and possibly settle down with.

But how does a woman attract this type of man?

What should she cultivate in her own life to show him that she’s an exceptional, world-class woman with more to offer than the competition?

I’m going to be honest with you. Unless you already tend to run in the same types of circles that high-value men spend time in, learning to join the circles and level-up your value signals is going to be a challenge.

As with anything in life, if you want better results, you’re going to need to alter your patterns of behavior.

If you want something different than you’ve ever had, you’re going to have to do things that you’ve never done.

And in this post, I’m going to tell you exactly what to do.

If you’re ready to attract a high-value, high-quality, successful man, then this post will give you everything you need to get started.

What Is A High Value Man?

What Is A High Value Man

First of all, it’s important to understand exactly what you’re talking about when you say that you’re looking for a high-value man.

For the vast majority of women, the definition is going to sound something like this.

“A high-value man is an attractive, fit, intelligent, ambitious, industrious, leadership-minded man who has put in the work in his life to become financially successful, independent, and wealthy. He has high-profile tribal connections, he has impressive social status, and he’s a man who wields considerable power in his life and social circles. He creates real value in the world, and makes a real dent in the universe on a daily basis.”

For some women, there are parts of this that may be negotiable.

But one thing that all women must understand if they wish to date truly successful alpha males and be taken seriously by them is that high-value men always have options.

Therefore, it’s in your best interest to understand their psychology, so that you can focus on becoming the type of woman such a man would be seriously attracted to.

So let’s spend a moment talking about the psychology of the high-value man.

The Psychology Of The High-Value Man – Understanding High-Quality Men And What They’re Looking For

To truly understand the psychology of a high-value man, you have to understand what they’ve been through to get where they are.

Some wealthy men inherited their wealth, and their top-notch lifestyle came easily for them. 

But for the purposes of this post, we’re going to exclude such cases. We’re strictly going to talk about truly self-made men, the types of men who created their own destiny starting with nothing.

When men and women first enter the sexual marketplace in early adulthood, they’re in very different places in terms of their dating marketplace value.

I learned about this by studying the work of Rollo Tamassi. To hear him discuss it, check out this blog post

Women who are in the 18 to 23 year old age range are typically at the height of their dating marketplace value, and wield an incredible amount of sexual power. 

As such, beautiful women in this age bracket are usually spoiled for choice, and can pretty much have their pick of any men they want.

But the vast majority of men in this age range have little to no value on the dating marketplace. Young men who are in the 18 to 25 year old age range haven’t yet had time to create their full, true value in the world.

They haven’t had time to develop status, power, or financial wealth, and haven’t yet had the opportunity to create high-profile tribal connections.

Even if men in this age group are incredibly good-looking, their dating marketplace value is nowhere near the value that young women are naturally born with.

Therefore, men spend these formative years coming to an understanding. The understanding that women hold all the keys to sexual access, and are born with a great deal of inherent sexual value that men simply do not possess naturally.

Therefore, if a man wishes to be successful on the dating marketplace, he comes to a point where he understands that he’s going to have to work hard to create value for himself, so that he can create the kind of destiny for himself where high value, attractive women (who are naturally born with a certain amount of inherent natural sexual value) will desire him and see him as attractive as well.

By the time a man reaches the age of 35 to 45, he will approach what is considered to be the peak of the male’s dating marketplace value.

At this point in life, most men have forged one of three different destinies for themselves, and they tend to fit into one of three categories.

  1. He either didn’t manage to work very hard, or didn’t manage to work smartly enough to create a lot of the things that make men attractive. So since he struggled to build his own value in life, he is now virtually poor, unsuccessful, and unattractive to women. 
  2. He was moderately successful in creating his own value in life, and now makes decent money and has a bit more to show for his hard work. This type of man is moderately attractive to women. The hottest women probably want someone better, but many women who aren’t at the very top of the ‘attraction pyramid’ marry these types of men because they’re decent, good, hardworking men who have still managed to create value in the world. 
  3. He worked harder and smarter than most other men, and sacrificed more than most other men. Instead of chasing hobbies and spending money on vacations, he poured his heart, soul, money, passion, energy, and time into chasing his purpose, building financial wealth, and creating value in the world. Due to this, he’s now a top 10% man. He may be earning six figures, or even more. He’s probably in really good shape, and probably has nice houses, cars, etc. to show for his hard work. He’s a highly successful, top level earner and dating prospect—the type of man most women can only dream of marrying.

Most high value, attractive women will never take the man in category 1 seriously.


Because he’s created little value in life, and can offer women very little in terms of future safety and security. 

Virtually all women lust after, and hope for, the man in category 3. This is the ‘rich bachelor’ archetype featured in most rom-coms and romance novels. 

But, the reality is that most women will end up settling for a man in category 2.


Because these men are much more plentiful than a ‘10% man.’ They also have slightly lower standards, are willing to compromise  more, and are generally more eager to commit, settle down with a woman, and start a family. And since they’re moderately successful, they can still provide a decent measure of safety and security. 

A very select few exceptionally high value women get the opportunity to enter a serious relationship with a man in category 3.

And by a very select few, I mean… look at Elon Musk, one of the wealthiest men on the planet. And look at his current girlfriend/child’s mother, Grimes. She’s an example of a woman who achieved a serious relationship spot with one of the highest value men in the world. 

(Also, check out this video to get a semblance of an idea as to the ‘rules’ his girlfriends must follow if they want to date him.) 

See, this type of man is extremely picky about the woman he wants to commit to.

Most men in this category sacrificed years of fun, choosing to work instead of chasing women to build their wealth and become truly high-value men.

While most women were busy exploring the vast opportunities afforded by their own sexual power on the dating marketplace, the high-value man had his head down, worked day and night, and sacrificed years (or possibly decades) of his life to achieve his status as a high-value man.

So now that this man has achieved the pinnacle of dating marketplace value, he has no intention of giving away that girlfriend or wife spot willy-nilly.

This type of man literally has hot women coming out of the woodwork trying to make him a husband.


Because he’s done the work that 90% of other men either couldn’t, or wouldn’t do to build his kingdom, amass wealth, and create power and status for himself.

And so, he’s now in the optimal position to provide a woman with top-level safety and security… the veritable dream life for marriage, procreation, and raising a family. 

This type of man may very easily take home a different young, attractive, beautiful girl every week, or maybe even several nights a week.

He’s a sexually abundant man, because he’s earned the right to be. He’s earned his high desirability through hard work and sacrifice.

Therefore, as a woman seeking a serious relationship with a high-value man, it’s of monumental importance that you understand that you truly need to bring something extraordinary to the table if you really want to appeal to this type of man.

And in the following section, I’m going to explain some of the most important things that you’ll need to develop if you want this type of man to see you as something other than a girl to just have fun with when he feels like it.

The High Value Man Caveat

The High Value Man Caveat

One thing to keep in mind in regards to this subject is that not every woman is going to want to do all of the work required to attract a top 10% man. 

It is, admittedly, a lot of work to become this type of woman. And so, for the vast majority of women, the struggle of trying to get to this point simply isn’t worth the payout. 

This is why many, many women opt to work a little bit less, and settle down with an awesome ‘normal’ guy instead. 

And that’s totally fine. 

If you want a man who earns six figures, has a six-pack, has an awesome car, owns his own company, has the big house, etc. Well, you’re probably going to have to really max-out in all of your primary attraction metrics, and more… because such a man is truly going to want the very best of the best. 

With that being said, some women simply decide that it isn’t worth it, and they choose to settle for a man who may earn a little bit less, who isn’t in as good of shape, who doesn’t have the big house yet, who isn’t all the way through his journey, etc. 

Keep in mind that there’s no such thing as a perfect man

And in truth, the more ‘flaws’ a man has that keep him from being the perfect mate, the easier it’s going to be to impress him and get his attention. Because with every flaw, his dating marketplace value decreases. 

I’m going to tell you something really honest right now that a lot of people don’t like to hear. 

In all honesty, you may not need to stress about finding a ‘super high value man’ if you want to be happily married. 

There’s a lot to be said for finding a ‘really good man’ who ticks all of your important boxes, settling down with him, and creating an awesome life together. 

I’m not trying to dissuade you from what you want. But there are many perks to entering long-term relationships with men who aren’t in that massively high value range. 

  • It’s a lot less work. You don’t have to be in as good of shape, you don’t need to maximize all of your attraction metrics, etc. 
  • You’ll likely have a lot more bargaining power in the relationship. If you enjoy compromise and want some element of control over what the relationship looks like, then marrying a great man who isn’t a top 10% man may really contribute to you being happier and finding more relationship fulfillment. 
  • Not all alpha mentality men are top 10% men. You can absolutely find great alpha mentality men who don’t make six figures, and have very fulfilling relationships with them. 

At the end of the day, it really all comes down to what you truly want and what you’re truly willing to work for.  

A lot of women fantasize about the millionaire who drives a foreign car, who owns three mansions and flies to Los Angeles for dinner. 

But in reality, being in a relationship with this type of man is actually a shit-ton of work, because he won’t settle for anything less than what he deems as perfect. 

In all honesty, the vast majority of women aren’t even cut out for that kind of high-pressure life. 

The vast majority of women would be completely happy marrying a man earning a bit less ($50,000 – $70,000 a year), vacationing at the beach twice a year, saving up a pension, buying a house or two, and enjoying a fun, low-pressure relationship with a man they can love, build a family with, and grow old with. 

There’s a lot of value to be found in men who fit into this range, so don’t discount them completely. If you find a good one, you may not want to overlook him. 

It’s also true that not every man who earns six figures is a truly high value man. 

Any asshole can apply himself and make bank. 

But that doesn’t mean that such a man is cut out to be a high value partner, or a good husband. 

This is why it’s vitally important to understand how to vet men. 

Check out this post on green flag behaviors in high value men to learn more about how to spot these types of men in any setting, regardless of how much money they earn. 

Also, check out this video to learn red flags to avoid. Even if a man earns six figures, that doesn’t guarantee that he’s going to be a high-quality partner for you in life, and offer you the true safety and security you need and desire.  

Alright. With all of that being said, let’s move on and talk about how to be the type of woman capable of attracting the absolute highest-value man possible. 

Before Trying To Meet High Value Men, Make Sure That You’re Bringing Real Value To The Table

Before Trying To Meet High Value Men, Make Sure That You’re Bringing Real Value To The Table

The big mistake that I see a lot of women make in the dating marketplace as it pertains to high-value men is that they tend to overestimate the level of value they’re actually bringing to the table.

At this level of the game, it’s more important than ever to understand that the primary female attraction metrics are the golden standard by which men are measuring the women they’re taking seriously.

By primary female attraction metrics, I mean:

  • Youth
  • Beauty
  • Fertility
  • Fidelity
  • Agreeableness

So the real question is this.

If the vast majority of women are overestimating their own dating marketplace value as it’s being deciphered by truly high-value men, then how can a woman know if she’s actually bringing that level of value to the table?

In this next section, I’m going to go through all of the important elements that high-value men are looking for in a committed relationship with a woman.

Hopefully, this will help you to understand what these types of men are actually looking for, so that you know which elements of your attraction may need to be leveled up.

Be Sexy

Be Sexy

It’s important to understand that a truly high-value man can literally command the attention of the most beautiful women on the dating marketplace.

Youth plays into this in a big way. In fact, it could very accurately be said that youth gives beautiful women a potentially unfair advantage against women who are 5 to 10 years older.

In other words, youth is a powerful attraction metric that men really care about. And in all honesty, it really goes back to fertility. So the question bears asking—why would a high-value man ever choose a 40 year old woman when he could have his pick of all of the hottest 21-25 year olds?

Now, that’s not to say that older women can’t find and secure a high-value man. 

In fact, there are some attributes, like reliability and maturity, that give older women their own strengths. It’s just important to understand that youth genuinely matters to men

And the younger the woman is, the greater her advantage will be when it comes to displaying beauty and fertility cues.

There is an important principle at work here that’s in a woman’s best interest to understand if she really wants to leverage her sexual power to the maximum benefit in attracting a high-value man.

The Sooner You Employ The Steps I’m Going To Outline In This Post, And The Sooner You Start Taking Your Potential Relationship Life Seriously, The Better Off You’re Going To Be In Terms Of Securing A High-Value Man

The Sooner You Employ The Steps I’m Going To Outline In This Post, And The Sooner You Start Taking Your Potential Relationship Life Seriously, The Better Off You’re Goin

A lot of women spend their peak years of sexual power exploring their sexuality, seeking adventure in short-term flings, and simply enjoying the youthful/fertile power and leverage that comes from being a young and beautiful female.

And even women who don’t intend to spend their peak years of sexual power in this manner often end up in exactly the same cycle, because they don’t understand how to properly vet men and select truly high-value men to date. 

So they get wrapped up in situationships with lower-value men, and end up wasting the vast majority of the leverage they could gain from their youthful sexual power.

How do you avoid this cycle?

In summary, here’s the basic gist.

Start leveling up your beauty and fertility cues today by making life choices that will increase your attractiveness. 

The sooner you start, the better.

Learn how to dress well, learn how to do your makeup well, start working out and maintain a healthy physique, become passionate about something that’ll change the world, and make sure that you’re constantly leveling up in mind, body, and spirit.

Then, make sure that you vet men properly, so that your effort isn’t wasted on a man who’s actually low value. 

Be Uncomplicated

Be Uncomplicated

One thing that’ll turn a high-value man off faster than anything is a woman with complicated situations in her life.

This could mean children from a previous relationship, baby daddy drama, an out-of-control family life, legal problems, financial problems, major health problems, or any other type of problem that could cause him to pause before bringing you into his life.

To maximize your value on the dating marketplace and attract the highest value man possible, make sure to minimize all possible complications that could make you look like a liability rather than an asset in a relationship.

Also understand that there are some complications that you may not be able to help, and that those complications are simply going to reduce your marketplace value. And to a point, there may be nothing that you can do about it. 

For example, children from a previous relationship count as a complication to most high-value men. 

That doesn’t rule you out as a potential high-value mate, but it does lower your dating marketplace value. 

Obviously, you have your kids and that’s how it’s going to be. That part isn’t going to change. So the best thing you can do in such cases (when complications to a certain point are unavoidable) is to do what you can to make your life with your children (or whatever the complication is) as uncomplicated and as under control as possible.

Be Down To Earth

Be Down To Earth

Another thing that high-value men will never tolerate in a serious partner is someone who isn’t down-to-earth and rational.

If you’re the type of person who just loves drama, or tends to find yourself in drama on a fairly regular basis, then it’ll be important to do away with said drama in your life if you want to increase your odds of attracting a serious high-value man.

It’s also important that you cultivate a greater level of self-awareness than most people cultivate in their lives.

Are you humble? Do you recognize and respect when people have accomplished more than you? Can you escape the temptation to believe that you’re better than everyone else? Can you be kind, gracious, and peaceful in your life? Can you live your life without making really stupid choices? Can you be counted on to make sound judgement calls when the need arises?

These are seriously important questions that you’ll want to answer honestly with yourself if you really want to attract the highest caliber of man possible.

A high-value man simply won’t take you seriously if he senses that you’re entitled, think you’re better than other people, conceited, unwise, or otherwise not grounded in down to earth and rational thinking.

Be Submissive

Be Submissive

High-value man will never tolerate an alpha power struggle with a woman, regardless of how beautiful she is.

This doesn’t mean that you can’t be yourself, have your own ideas, or be independent.

In fact, you should do all of those things! 

But it does mean that an alpha mentality man will require you to relinquish control of the frame of the relationship if you wish to be with him.

In other words, you’re going to have to trust him to lead the relationship. And if there’s any inner control-freak living inside of you, you’re going to have to leave it behind. 

Check out this post to learn why this is important to alpha mentality men, and what you can do to remain a strong, alpha minded woman while still appealing to the high-value man’s insistence on leading the frame of the relationship.

Be His Peace

Be His Peace

Unruly women who cause fights, start arguments, and proliferate drama will never be successful in a long-term relationship with a high-value man.

Here’s the thing.

The high-value man’s entire life is characterized by conflict and violence.

Every day, he wakes up and goes to battle to overcome challenges, achieve victories, and surmount obstacles to progress his lifelong mission to create value in the world.

This makes him markedly different from a woman, in the sense that a woman is born with a certain amount of inherent sexual value already within her

In our world, women are valued just for being women. 

But a man doesn’t have this luxury.

Men are only valued if they’re contributing resources or solving a problem. Otherwise, men are mostly viewed as disposable. 

And in this difference, we see the potential for the complimentary benefits of the masculine and the feminine.

The man’s struggle for value is costly, and comes only at the expense of great conflict.

The woman is born with value, but requires help from the high value man to stay safe and secure in our conflict oriented world.

The man can offer protection, safety, and vital resources to the woman; and the woman, in turn, provides peace, beauty, the ability to bear children, and support for the man.

This includes true burning sexual desire, which is arguably the resource that men value most in a woman (second only perhaps to the ability to bear children, though this heavily depends on the context).

If a woman cannot demonstrate true, real burning sexual desire for the man, her value in his eyes will be reduced significantly.

This is because sex is more than a simple reproductive act for high value men. Sex and intimacy are activities that also serve to bring peace, happiness, joy, and feminine beauty into his life.

All men desire this, but lower value men may settle for less. Higher value men, on the other hand, don’t need to settle for less—because they can pretty much have any woman they want, and will always prioritize burning sexual desire as a major priority. 

Be Ready To Follow His Lead

Be Ready To Follow His Lead

As stated previously, high value men who embrace the alpha mentality will always reserve the right to lead the frame of the relationship. 

Some great examples of this are:

  • He’ll want you to move in with him, not the other way around
  • He’ll be the one to make rules regarding his personal living space, not the woman
  • He’ll probably make rules that he will expect for you to follow, and will tell you how he will respect you; it’ll be highly unlikely that he’ll accept any attempt for you to place rules on him
  • He’ll want you to be available on his schedule, when he deems it appropriate. You will be the one making time for him. It won’t necessarily be the other way around. 
  • He’ll want to move the relationship along at his own pace. You can (and should) bring up commitment, but be ready for him to move at his own pace
  • He’ll hold you to a certain standard that won’t be negotiable. He may want you to go to the gym, eat a certain type of diet, dress in a certain fashion, etc. If you don’t like it, you’ll be considered easily replaceable by one of the many women who are eager to have your place. 

As I’ve said several times already, this type of man is truly rare. He’s done the work. That’s why he’s as high value as he is. Which means that he won’t be open to negotiation. He’ll want things his way, or you’ll be free to leave. 

Be More Than Just A Brain, or Just A Sexy Body

Be More Than Just A Brain, or Just A Sexy Body

Some women go really hard in one direction or the other. 

They may rule out their looks for the most part, and rely more on their intelligence, career, or money to land them a man… while some women may actually go all-in on beauty, and not focus on intelligence or any of the other secondary attraction metrics. 

But it’s important to understand that a high value man is going to want a well-rounded woman. 

He’s going to want her to be beautiful, obviously. But also, don’t forget that this type of man can get beautiful women whenever he wants, quickly and easily. 

So to truly set yourself apart, you’re going to want to bring more to the table than just your looks, though looks are also important. 

For example: 

Be the type of woman he can truly rely on. 

Build your life in such a way that you organically communicate high levels of loyalty, integrity, and trustworthiness. 

Be the type of woman who goes all-out on her health, beauty, and body, but also on other things that such a man would care about. 

  • Being a good homemaker
  • Being someone he can trust to confide in
  • Being someone who brings peace to his life
  • Being someone who never brings drama into his circle
  • Being someone who would make an ideal mother
  • Being someone who’s passionate about things (we’ll talk more about this in a moment)

If he’s truly a high value man, and if you really want him, all of these things are important. 

You’re going to have to be the whole package if you really want to land a man in that upper 10% zone. 

Be Passionate

Be Passionate

Passionate men will desire passionate women. 

Very few high value men want a woman who isn’t set upon her own purpose in life. 

Do you understand what your purpose in life is, even beyond being a wife to a high value man?

Do you have goals that you aspire to? Are there problems in the world that you’d like to solve?

Try to focus on these things and cultivate them in your life. 

They’ll matter to high quality men, because these types of men understand the need to cultivate passion and purpose in life. 

Be A True Alpha Female

Be A True Alpha Female

Sometimes, this discussion about how to attract a high value man can make it sound like women are expected to be ‘pick me girls.’ 

But nothing could be further from the truth. 

Read this post about the alpha woman traits that all alpha females should strive to embody. 

Remember, the goal isn’t to be a weak, submissive woman who never thinks for herself or pursues her own purpose. 

The goal is to be a strong, independent, capable, fully-actualized alpha female who understands the need for the alpha male to control the frame of the relationship. 

This is a partnership, not a dictatorship or a business transaction. 

This can be a difficult distinction to get right. But the women who come to understand it are the women who have the best odds of succeeding in long term relationships with high quality alpha men. 

In Conclusion

Alright. Hopefully this post has helped you to understand exactly what it takes to attract a high value man. 

At the end of the day, though, please also keep this in mind. 

It takes amazing women AND men to make the world go round. 

Sometimes, discussions about dating marketplace value are difficult, because they force us to look at hard scientific facts. 

But also, never forget that love, romance, emotion, and attraction are vital elements to this process as well. 

High value men also want to feel these things. 

It’s not all one big cost-benefit analysis. 

It’s just important to understand the science so that you can get out of your own way, and stop sabotaging yourself by not quite understanding how to make it all work. 

You got this! 

Now get out there and snag yourself a high value man. 

Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power. 

Until next time…

Joshua K. Sigafus