As alpha mentality men, it’s essential that we learn how to broadcast and project high value while approaching, engaging, connecting with, and interacting with women on the dating marketplace.
And in this blog post, I’m going to share the top 5 strategies I use in my own life to make this happen.
I used to suck at dating. I used to pretty much get automatically rejected by any attractive woman in my vicinity. But over time, I learned that when you double-down on increasing your masculine sexual value metrics, you can really reverse this problem.
This is exactly what I did back in 2017. And now, I coach men to do the exact same thing every single day.
So let’s dive into this and break it down, step by step.
Here’s how men can project high value while dating, thereby ensuring greater dating success and making sure that they’re sending the proper high-value markers during dating interactions.
My Top 5 Strategies For How Men Can Project High Value While Dating
1. Fix Your Inner Validational Deficit
Here’s the tough part about this process, men.
You can only fake it to a certain point.
This is why my dating techniques all revolve around embracing true alpha mentality in your life, and then working your way outward to manifest this energy as you live your life, conduct your business, interact with women, form friendships, build assets, etc.
(Note: If you want to learn more about this alpha-mentality business, download my free ebook: An Introduction To The Alpha Mentality: The Evolutionary Key To Succeeding At Dating, Relationships, Business, Fitness, And Everything Else That Matters. It’ll explain everything you need to know to get a basic understanding of what this means.)
But the nuts and bolts of it is this:
Women have evolved to smell weakness in men like a shark smells blood in the water.
And as a man, if you’re relying on a woman to fill a void in your life, make you happy, give you hope, etc. then you’re going to radiate weakness like a leaking nuclear reactor radiates… well… FUCKING RADIATION.
Women will literally smell this ‘inner-weakness’ radiating from you.
So fix it! Become a ‘self-validated’ man, as opposed to a man with a ‘validational deficit.’
You do this by:
- Minding your business
- Getting your money
- Pursuing your purpose in life
- And leveling up mind, body, and spirit to become 1% better every day
(If you don’t know what this stuff means, download that e-book I linked to above and learn it.)
In other words—learn to completely validate yourself in life. Learn to create your own fucking awesome adventures and journey. Then, just date women because you enjoy them—not because you need them.
This is the very first step. And it’s by far the most important one.
To learn more about this process, read this blog post: How To Get Someone To Love You – In 20 Magnetic Steps.
You can also read this post that I wrote for TheAdultMan.com to help figure out how to start some of this stuff as a man: 31 Ways to Become a Better Man Starting Today.
2. Get Your Value Metrics Leveled Up
All men are NOT equal on the dating marketplace.
Women, by their very nature, want the best deal (the best man) that they can get.
This evolutionary feature is rather infamously referred to as ‘hypergamy.’
And they’re relentless in vetting out men they don’t deem as being ‘high value.’
So focusing on your value metrics is INCREDIBLY FUCKING IMPORTANT if you really want to win with women and broadcast value.
This is an evolutionary process, and it’s non-negotiable for men who want to win at dating. You can’t fake real value—I don’t care how smooth you are. Women are just too evolved, and eventually, they’ll see through your bullshit (at least, the intelligent, high-value women will).
So make it real by leveling up all of the vital male attraction value metrics.
- Tribal connections
- Leadership abilities
- An athletic body
Body language, dressing well, and staying groomed are all part of this process as well. We want to be (and present) our best selves. It’s a combination of ‘inner game’ and ‘outer game.’ But a lot of men make the mistake of only focusing on the outward stuff, and not leveling up within.
Should You Wait Until You’ve Leveled Up To Start Trying To Date Women?
I get this question a lot—and I understand it.
Some men think to themselves…
“Hey, now I see that my value metrics aren’t really leveled up enough to attract high value women. Maybe I should go monk, take a break from dating, and pursue other things for now.”
Listen, I get the logic behind this. But I disagree to a certain point. And I’ll tell you why.
The baseline is this—you should be able to level-up your value metrics while also cold approaching women in the wild as you go on your adventures and live your life.
The bottom line is that you need to get some experience with women.
Some men hate getting rejected. But you’re going to need to grow a thicker skin than that, my friend. You’re going to need to learn to wear rejection like a fucking fancy hat—and laugh about it.
Because as men, we didn’t evolve to be liked—we evolved to be fucking effective. We evolved to generate resources and solve problems.
When men desire to be liked, they’re thinking like women. This really fucks your natural masculine strategies and strong points. Be a soldier and a general in this life—not some kind of ‘wanna be liked personality.’
So anyway, while you’re leveling up, you should be focused primarily on your alpha journey. But this doesn’t mean that you can’t also interface with women at the same time.
Read this guide to help you understand how to do this: How to Meet Someone in Real Life – Dating And Attraction.
You can also read this guide that I wrote for TheAdultMan.com: Where to Meet Women and How to Approach in Public the Right Way.
You don’t have to focus on dating. Focus on leveling up. But you can also approach women when you happen to come across them on your journey. And I recommend that you do!
3. Get Ripped
The straight truth of the matter is that women do care about a man’s physique.
They want him to look healthy, agile, athletic, vibrant, and effective.
They want him to look like a warrior who could club a fucking lion over the head and smash its skull to protect the tribe.
And there’s a reason for this.
It’s because female attraction is a highly evolved survival instinct.
There’s no excuse for not doing this. Getting into shape is completely within your control.
I’m accomplishing this in my life by eating a completely animal-based diet, counting calories, and exercising every day.
It’s all a self-control game.
Nowadays, everyone is addicted to junk food.
Alpha men can’t afford to live in beta mentality like this.
So conquer those food cravings. Get some self-control. Start working on yourself to lose weight and get JACKED.
Trust me. I’ve been fat, and I’ve been in really good shape, and there’s just no comparison.
Women overwhelmingly prefer men who are in great shape.
This is one of the most controllable methods for broadcasting higher value to women.
Even if you’re broke and have zero status, you can AT LEAST do pushups and mountain climbers while restricting your caloric intake.
4. Hold Masculine Frame
As men, we must be in tune with the natural order of the masculine-feminine dynamic.
- Women evolved to be beautiful and desirable.
- Men evolved to be effective–to generate resources and solve problems.
At the baseline level, masculine frame is about standing your ground in being effective as a man, and not caving in and letting that ‘fear of not being desired’ creep into your mind.
High-value men are desired because they’re valuable and because their presence increases a woman’s odds for survival.
Trust this process.
If you want to learn more about female mating behavior and how women perceive men, read this post that I wrote for TheAdultMan.com: Understanding Female Hypergamy: 9 Ways to Use It to Your Advantage.
You should also read this post: Why Do Women Move On So Fast? | Female Hypergamy.
And finally, you should probably listen to this podcast episode—as it does a pretty good job of explaining the basics of what masculine frame is, and why it’s important:
5. Be Authentic, Organic, And Real
Alpha mentality men are strong and authentic.
They don’t need to ‘fake’ being strong.
They don’t need to try to be someone they’re not to impress anyone else.
If you find yourself struggling to be your own authentic self when you interact with women, ask yourself:
“Why do I feel like I need to pretend to be someone else?”
The answer will vary. But usually, it’ll come down to some version of:
“I don’t like myself, so I’m afraid other people won’t like me either.”
My friend—as a man, you must learn to love yourself, like yourself, have faith in yourself, and believe that you’re the fucking ALPHA CHAMP.
You can do this in a number of different ways. But the best way to do it is to just start doing all of that awesome shit that you KNOW you should be doing, but have been afraid to do.
Walk the alpha path. Start getting real money and building assets. Start developing your body.
All of this stuff is hard. But in this difficulty, as you push through it, you’ll learn to love yourself and appreciate your own hard work.
This is truly the path to being authentic.
To learn more about this specific issue, check out this post: 5 Ways To Be Your Authentic Self – Today And Every Day.
Most of all, remember this:
True alpha males are never afraid to be themselves, because they understand that their opinion matters the most. Everything else is vapid.
The truth is simple.
- If you’re truly high value, other people will flock to you.
- If you’re truly low value, other people will reject you and leave you.
It’s that fucking simple.
Don’t resent it.
Wear the truth like a badge of honor, and start leveling up to become formidable.
How can a man appear high value?
The best way for men to appear high value is for them to truly be high value by maximizing the primary sexual value metrics. Personally, in my life, I literally define this as follows:
Truly alpha men are ripped, attractive, successful, powerful alpha millionaire leaders with amazing dating lives and relationships.
In fact, this is exactly what I’m helping alpha-minded men and women to accomplish in my Mastermind Tribe.
(For any women who may be reading this, alpha females are definitely a real thing as well. Read this post to learn more about that.)
How can I increase my value in dating?
You increase your dating value by leveling up all of the primary masculine sexual attraction metrics. These include:
- Tribal connections
- Leadership abilities
- An athletic body
To do this, you’ll want to start walking the true alpha mentality path, and begin your alpha journey.
What high value men DON’T do
High value men don’t:
- Act like victims
- Complain about bullshit
- Allow life challenges to overcome them
- Compromise on their health, wellness, or fitness
- Waste time being lazy
- Prioritize happiness over purpose, legacy, or responsibility
- Accept low value standards in their life
- Allow failure to defeat them—they rally from it and overcome
- Wish that the world was different—they develop themselves to overcome the challenges of the world
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand my top strategies for how men can project high value while dating.
As you probably figured out, there’s no ‘faking it’ on this path, gentlemen.
It’s either real, or it isn’t.
So start doing that hard work to become a man of value.
It matters. And it’s worth it.
Go with grace, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus