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how to attract a woman who is not interested

How To Attract A Woman Who Is Not Interested – 7 Simple Steps

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How to attract a woman who is not interested

Use abundance mentality self-empowerment and a purpose-driven life trajectory, combined with the strategic and intentional leveling-up of your dating marketplace value, to broadcast your value as a potential partner. Then, be brave enough to make your move and ask her out anyway—having full confidence in knowing that, even if she says no, there are still plenty of amazing women to engage with. This will make you appear confident and self-validated, which will make you even more desirable to her. 


As men, it’s in our best interest to always be pursuing high-quality engagements with high-value women.

There’s only one problem:

There’s never any guarantee that the woman on the other side of the engagement is going to be attracted to us.

In fact, the vast majority of the time, you’ll probably get the feeling that at least a certain percentage of the women around you aren’t interested in you to any romantic degree whatsoever. 

A lot of men will use this rather discouraging feeling as an excuse to either not shoot their shot with a particular woman (out of fear of rejection) or to give up on trying to engage with women altogether. 

It can be easy for men to grow jaded and frustrated when they don’t feel like they’re getting positive results with women on the dating marketplace. 

And sometimes, it can feel like no amount of work is enough to get beautiful women attracted to you. 

Listen, I understand exactly how this feels. 

In fact, the truth of the matter is that men are born into sexual scarcity while women are born into sexual abundance. 

There’s a complicated science that explains all of this. But to make it really simple, this is what it comes down to. 

The Comparable Market Value Of Men And Women

If you ever feel like women just seem to be treated as ‘more valuable’ than men in our society, you’re not wrong or crazy. Your instincts about this are actually spot on.

Women, all throughout human history, have been highly valued because they carry the sensitive and crucial reproductive equipment necessary for carrying and birthing children. Thus, the instinct that basically all humans are born and live with is the mindset that women are more valuable (reproductively and sexually speaking) and must be protected—and that it is men who should take on this burden of protecting them. 

Men, however, also bring some massive and incredible value to the table as well—and these masculine values are exactly what women evolved to crave and desire in their dating partners. 

And in this guide, you’re going to learn how to leverage these values to increase your attraction and increase the odds that women will desire you.  

If you want to attract a woman who isn’t particularly interested in you, the technique is actually the same as if you were trying to attract anyone. In fact, if you really want to succeed at attracting women who aren’t initially interested in you, then the very first step is to take your focus off of that woman entirely—and to place it on yourself.

The truth of the matter is that this is a game of leveling yourself up to become such a high-value man that every woman you encounter will be that much more likely to desire interactions with you, find you attractive, and even hope that you’ll strike up a conversation with her.

I’m going to explain exactly how to do this. But first, we need to cover a few essential pieces of information that you must understand in order to be maximally successful. 


Note: If you’re interested in the content matter of this post, then you’ll definitely be interested in our master guide to dating. Make sure to check that out to get a complete rundown of the entire dating process, from beginning to end.


The Basic Framework Of Female Attraction 

On the dating marketplace, women are desired for a few different feminine features.

I call these the female sexual value metrics:

  • Youth cues
  • Beauty cues
  • Fertility cues
  • Fidelity cues
  • Agreeableness
  • Inspiration

Men, however, are desired for different features. These features are described as a set of masculine traits that are respectively called the male sexual value metrics.

These metrics are as follows:

  • Wealth
  • Status
  • Power
  • Tribal connections
  • Leadership abilities
  • A strong, fit, athletic body

Here’s the key to attracting women who aren’t interested in you (at least, not at first).

It’s important to remember that the default setting for every woman is to vet ruthlessly to find the highest-value man that she can find.

On the dating marketplace, every woman wants the best deal that she can get. 

Therefore, as a man, your dating and mating strategy should be as follows. 

You should strive first and foremost to level yourself up as a high-value man in all of the masculine sexual value metrics that matter (those listed above).

The better you get at broadcasting these metrics to the women in your social circles, the more likely you are to turn noninterested potential dating partners into potentially interested or even highly desirous potential dating partners.

Then, all you need to do is deploy a few simple dating strategies to your repertoire—and you’ll be good to go to truly maximize your dating potential.

The formula for the equation looks like this:

Increase your marketplace value + learn the science of human mating behavior (especially female mate selection) + learn a few fundamental dating strategies and techniques to help you close the gap = dating abundance and success for the rest of your life.

So, let’s talk about the specific steps required to accomplish all of this. 

7 Steps For How To Attract A Woman Who Isn’t Interested 

1. Understand That Wanting A Particular Woman Actually Shouldn’t Be The Goal

As men, we sometimes tend to ‘romanticize’ the idea of finding that one, perfect, beautiful woman and engaging in a romantic adventure with her. 

But this stands in stark contrast to the truth of the dating marketplace

Men evolved to generate resources and solve problems to provide safety and security for the tribe—thereby helping the tribe to survive and thrive. 

I call this the masculine core evolutionary mandate.

Thus, a man’s first priority should always be his purpose. This is how he builds his own dating marketplace value.

And finding a high-value woman should be something that he does in life as a means of leveling up his own life so that he’s even better equipped to facilitate his purpose. 

In other words—stop focusing on women (and especially on one particular woman). Focus on your purpose and pursue that. And along the way, find one or more high-value women and interface with them as dating partners. 

Chasing one singular woman as an ‘ideal choice’ is a low-value beta mindset scarcity-driven behavior. 

2. Keep Working On Yourself And Leveling Up Your Attraction Metrics

You can find a full guide for how to start living in true alpha mentality here. On that page, you’ll also find guides to help you level up in all 9 of the vital life domains

But here’s the basic answer for how to start this process:

3. Live A Purpose-Driven, Intentional Life—And Don’t Allow Women To Become Your Primary Focus

When you make women the primary focus of your life, you begin walking down a very feminine, chaotic, and beta-male path. 

You want to always prioritize your mission in life, and be purpose-driven. This is what separates a man of higher value from a low-value man who lives and walks in a scarcity mindset. 

Women instinctively pick up on this stuff. It’s crucial to get this part right. 

4. Be Brave Enough To Shoot Your Shot With Any Attractive Women You’re Interested In

Don’t let approach anxiety keep you from walking up to beautiful women and starting conversations

It’s scary to walk up to attractive women and start engagements. But this is a crucial step to succeeding on the dating marketplace and meeting potential dating partners in the real world. 

So if you see an attractive woman, always find a reason to walk up to her and talk to her—even if you don’t think there’s any chance that she’d be interested in you. 

5. Continue To Work On Your Dating Skills, Techniques, And Strategies

As men, we should never stop learning about female psychology, female mating behavior, female mate selection, and how to seduce and attract women into our frame. 

You should constantly be learning how to better interface with women, flirt with them, interact with them, connect with them, and engage in fun interactions so that you can maximize your dating success. 

6. Understand That The World Is Full Of Amazing Women

Don’t ever get hung up on a scarcity mentality in regard to women. 

There are millions of amazing women in the world. 

If one of them isn’t interested in you, that’s ok. 

What to do if the girl is not interested in you

Just stay confident, shrug it off, and move on to engage the next lady. 

No matter how amazing and attractive you become, you’ll never be everyone’s favorite person. 

And that’s a good and normal thing. 

I have an amazing dating life. And even I face rejection sometimes. 

In order to succeed at getting into a high-value relationship, you really only need to find one willing lady. Those are some pretty awesome odds! 

Don’t worry about the rejections. Keep your mind focused on being the best version of yourself possible—and keep learning and leveling up in all of the ways that matter. 

Women notice this, and they literally evolved to be more attracted to this type of man. 

7. Understand That, Ironically, The Best Way To Make Women Love You Is To Live In True Abundance

This might seem very counterintuitive—but it was one of the most important lessons I ever learned about dating. You actually need to learn to be perfectly fine on your own in order to attract other high-value dating partners. 

How do you make a woman interested in you?

When you chase people, they tend to value you less. By contrast—when you self-validate and live an amazing life of your own (without needing someone else to make it awesome), this attracts wonderful people to you. 

This is what abundance mentality dating is all about. 

When you truly learn the essence of this concept and learn to deploy it in your life correctly, you’ll most likely see massive returns on your investment. 

I know this to be true because this is exactly what happened to me in my life. 

This concept truly revolutionized my ability to get women interested in me.

This doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t take the initiative in talking to women.

It just means that when you do so, you shouldn’t be emotionally dependent on getting a positive response to those engagements.

In other words, don’t rely on women for validation. Be completely self-validated, and see the process of approaching women as something extra that you do to make your life even better (like push-ups, eating healthy foods, meditating, and reading).  

Final Thoughts

I’ll leave you with one final piece of advice. 

If you really want to learn how to attract a woman who is not interested…

Work on yourself every day, to pursue your purpose and level up as a man. 

If you keep doing this, you really can’t go wrong. 

The trouble really starts when we either stop investing in ourselves or give up at some point along the way and start stagnating and deteriorating on the journey. 

You’ve got this. 

Now get out there and make it happen. 

Go with grace, my friends—and never give up your power.