If you want to learn how to attract a woman, you can read every book and watch every video… and yes, these things will help you to a certain point.
But the more I learn about what it truly means to be a high-value male, and the more I understand the nature of male and female mating behaviors, the more I am convinced that there is truly no alternative to practice.
In other words, if you really want to learn how to attract a woman and enjoy the types of relationships you would like to enjoy, then the best way to figure out how to do it is simply that… to go out and do it!
Let’s talk about it.
You Can Only Learn So Much About How To Attract A Woman From Books And Videos
I am the kind of guy who loves to be prepared. So before I do something, I usually read about it or watch some tutorials.
So, I get it. That part, to me, is understandable. Guys like to be prepared.
And you should do that… even when it comes to leveling up your attraction skills.
But this mindset falls short when all you focus on is book learning. And I hate to say it, but I see a lot of men who talk the talk, read the books, and act like they know what to do… when in actuality, they aren’t pulling any numbers, scoring any hookups, or even dating anyone!
At some point, if you only read about it, but never go out and do it, you are simply never going to learn.
Interacting With Women, And Learning How To Attract A Woman, Is Completely Different In Real Life
Reading a book, browsing a blog, taking a course, or watching a YouTube video can be a great way to gain a fundamental understanding of the concepts.
But when it comes to interacting with real-life women, no amount of bookwork is going to actually prepare you.
The thing about real-life attraction, flirting, dating, and seduction is that all of these processes take place on many levels.
And yes, we can understand them intellectually, and that gives us a great basis to work from.
But that doesn’t prepare us for thinking on our feet when a woman catches us off guard. It doesn’t prepare you for handling the flood of feel-good chemicals that swarm over your body when a beautiful woman touches your arm.
It doesn’t teach you how to keep your wits about you when you’ve just finished a fiery-hot makeout session, or how to avoid putting your foot in your mouth if you get too far ahead of yourself in the conversation.
It also doesn’t help you to overcome the discouragement of getting rejected in real-life… and it doesn’t help to overcome the temptation to give up on dating when things get hard.
Learning how to attract a woman is a lot like shooting a bow or playing basketball.
Reading about it is good. But at some point, you need to hit the court and actually do it.
I Am Constantly Learning About Women – And I Am Always Realizing How Much There Is To Learn
One reason for why I started this blog is because I love women.
I love to engage with them, flirt with them, have sex with them, have positive relationships and friendships with them… etc.
Women add a huge amount of excitement and value to my life. And to enjoy my love for women, to the best of my ability, I want to know how to be an attractive, high value man.
[Check out my personal alpha male code, the Oath of Kings, to learn more about how to be a high value man.]
Why?
Because I want women to want to spend time around me, have a good time with me, and hopefully desire to see me again after we’ve engaged together.
This really goes hand-in-hand with the idea of the alpha male journey, and why it is so important for us, as men, to rise above and become high-value men in our tribes and communities.
The truth of the matter is that women should never be the core focus of our lives. Chasing excellence and becoming the best, finest men we can possibly be should be at the number-one spot on our list of life goals.
But women are very important. And as men, it is important that we engage with women in healthy, positive, pleasurable, productive ways.
We want to have awesome, fulfilling relationships with women… and we want them to feel the same way.
I Learn A Lot About Women From Reading Books – But It Is Honestly 80/20
I learn about 20% of everything I need to know from books.
The other 80% I learn by… yes, you guessed it… actually spending time with women!
I ask them out. I go on dates. I text. I hang out. I flirt. I have conversations. We get coffee together. We talk about things we like and believe in. I have high-value female friends. I ask them their opinions and I listen to what they have to say.
I also have a girlfriend who I spend time with every day, and I never cease to learn about her… and she is only one person. There is just so much to learn.
Every day, I try to engage with women as much as possible.
And every day, I learn more and more.
But if I never actually talked to women in real life, I would never learn.
3 Ways To Learn How To Attract A Woman Through Real-Life Interaction
Alright. Let’s talk about some real-life ideas for how to maximize your learning potential and actually learn about women and how to attract them as you navigate your life and live day by day.
1… Try Not To Be Goal Oriented
A lot of men make the mistake of being too goal oriented when they talk to women.
They have some kind of plan, and are hell-bent on making that plan successful.
For example… a guy may want to hook up with a girl… so his motivation for the entire conversation is to steer things toward the greatest potential odds of him scoring the hook up.
But I believe that we miss out on so much by being goal-oriented.
I would so much rather chill out, talk organically, and see if I actually like someone first.
Check out the vibes. See if there is some mutual interest and chemistry.
Then, be willing to ask for her number, or a hookup, or whatever… but do it because you genuinely want to, not because it is a goal that you want to accomplish.
To a certain point, men are programmed by nature to bed as many women as possible. But I would so much rather shift this instinct to caring more about having a fun experience with a woman because we are attracted to her, rather than thinking of her as another notch in the bedpost.
When you view interactions with women through a one-dimensional lens like that, you really do cut out a lot of the awesome extra stuff that you can pick up and learn.
One time, I met this really cool girl at a function, and we had awesome conversation and a lot of chemistry.
But about 10 minutes in, I learned that she was married, and very monogamous with her husband.
Well, hooking up or dating was out of the question at this point. But I still had a great time, and I kept talking to her. I talked to her about my work, and I asked her some questions about her perspective on the dynamics between men and women.
I dare-say that I learned a few things about women during that conversation that helped me to become a better, higher value man.
You never know what you can learn if you will just keep your eyes and ears open, and be ready to receive the information when you get the chance to pay attention to it.
2… Don’t Be Afraid To Admit That You Want To Learn
I literally run a blog about how to help men win with women. I also spend a great deal of time learning about women.
But one of the first things that I will willingly admit to any woman is this…
Women often mystify me.
No matter how much I learn, there are still things that I don’t understand.
So I have gotten into the habit of saying “hey, you’re a woman. Why do you think women do this?”
I have learned so much just having frank, honest discussions with women, about women. And honestly, these types of conversations are a lot of fun!
3… Realize That Some Women Are Not Going To Be Into You – And That Is Ok. Interact anyway!
Some men always seem to win with high-value women.
Some men struggle just to get a phone number!
But at the end of the day, learning how to attract a woman is the same for every man.
We need to level up not only our understanding of women in-general, but also our value as men.
And then, we need to level up our attraction skills, educate ourselves, and work through the problems that keep us from engaging.
But then, we must also remember that interacting with real women does carry some risk… no matter how much we try to prepare for it.
If you put yourself out there, you might get rejected.
That can suck… but you should actually learn to enjoy it.
Personally, I have been rejected so many times that it literally no longer even phases me. I consider this one of my biggest strengths.
Rejection just doesn’t scare me, and it doesn’t phase me when it happens.
I just realize that she is not into me, and I happily move along to the next adventure.
I don’t dwell on it, I don’t get mad, I don’t feel like it is unfair, I don’t complain.
It just is what it is.
And as an alpha male, it is 1000% better to shoot your shot and get shot down than to never take the shot for fear of failure.
A true alpha would rather go down in a blaze of glory, hold his head high, and maintain his integrity and honor than to cave-in to fear, or to react angrily toward a woman who is simply exercising her right to choose her own mate/partner.
Conclusion
Hopefully this post has helped you to understand that learning how to attract a woman takes actual practice.
So my biggest tip is this…
Get outside. Go to a meetup, go to the club, go out to the bar, go downtown… wherever it is that women are gathering, and go mingle!
Walk up to some attractive ladies and introduce yourself!
Dress your best, be brave, and act confident!
Don’t worry. The first few times it might really scare you. That is totally normal.
But over time, you’ll get used to it. And that is when it really starts to be a fun, productive, incredible part of an alpha-male’s life!
Go with grace, gentlemen… and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus