If you want to be successful at dating and attracting beautiful women as an alpha male, it’s important that you learn how to become a good kisser.
Kissing is one of the most intimate things two people can do with each other.
It’s a way for you to connect on an emotional and physical level, but it can also be used as foreplay.
As a younger man, I used to really struggle with this.
In other words, I sucked at kissing.
But eventually, I got some practice… and I learned how to get better.
Trust me, this matters.
Women can sense when the man they’re kissing is a high value alpha, walking in confident masculine frame… or a low-value beta who’s putting her on a pedestal and trying desperately to impress her.
If you want to know how to kiss a woman well, like a true alpha, this article will give you eleven tips that will help make your kisses unforgettable.
1. Be Confident
Kissing can seem like the most natural thing in the world, but it takes some skill and practice to learn how to make it seem like that.
If you’re looking to make a good first impression with the woman you’re kissing, then there are some things that you need to do. One of these is being confident and self-assured while leading up to, and going in for, the kiss.
If you find yourself feeling shy or nervous about how good your kiss will be, trust me… she’ll pick up on it.
You may be able to get away with this type of thing if both of you are young and relatively inexperienced.
But as you get older, women are going to expect you to be more confident and sure of yourself.
Confidence is sexy.
So try to assume that everything is going to go well, and just go for it.
Honestly, the best way to develop this kind of confidence is through practice.
2. Prepare For It
There are many things that a guy can do to prepare for kissing a woman.
Some of these steps include:
- Brushing your teeth and using mouthwash before the date
- Trimming your beard or mustache to keep some of the longer hairs out of the way (don’t destroy your beard over it though… this coming from a guy with a pretty long beard)
- Making sure your breath is fresh (gum, mints, etc.)
- Trying not to eat garlic, tuna fish, or something else ‘offensive’ before you go in for the kiss
A little bit of prep work, to make sure that your breath smells nice and fresh, will go a long way.
It’s also a good idea to make sure that your beard, hair, skin, and clothing smells good at this point as well.
Kissing is an up-close-and-personal activity. It’s best to make sure that you smell good all over.
3. Choose The Perfect Moment
Choosing the perfect moment for the kiss isn’t something that you should stress too much about.
But it is something to put a bit of thought into.
One thing that you don’t want to do is kiss her awkwardly in the middle of something.
In other words, don’t wait to kiss her until she’s talking to the bartender, or catching up with one of her friends.
Find a moment when the two of you are focused on each other… a quiet moment where you have a second or two to just be together.
One thing to understand is that these moments generally come and go very quickly.
This is where a lot of guys get hung up.
They wait too long, make it weird, and then miss out on their perfect chance.
If your instincts are telling you that right now is the perfect time, you should go for it immediately.
If you hesitate, she’ll sense it. It’ll lead to awkwardness, and make it seem like you’re afraid to assert yourself and go for it.
And nothing spells ‘unsexy’ like a man who’s afraid to kiss a woman.
4. Don’t Overthink It
When you’re kissing someone that you’re attracted to, it’s important not to have any negative feelings about the experience.
Trust me… I know it’s hard to go in for a kiss without looking scared, anxious, or nervous if you’re actually very scared, anxious, and nervous.
Whether you’re kissing a girl for the first time, or going in for your 100th make-out session, it can be difficult not to overthink how the other person will react when you move in close.
This is an exciting moment. But it’s also important that you try to stay relaxed and calm about it.
Don’t overthink it.
Are you afraid of botching it?
Oh well. If you do, you do.
You’ll know better next time.
Are you afraid that she won’t enjoy it?
Oh well. If she doesn’t, she doesn’t.
As alpha men, we can’t control what women think or do.
We can only control our own destinies, decisions, and actions.
And it’s better to get rejected and know the truth than to spend the rest of your life wishing that you would have gone-in for that kiss!
So if you’ve done the legwork and feel like you’re ready to go in for that kiss, go for it and enjoy it without overthinking it.
This is one of those situations where it pays to turn off your brain a little bit, and to just live in the moment.
5. Don’t Be Afraid To Make The First Move
I used to be terrified of making the first move.
I would wait forever.
And before I knew it, all the good moments would pass… and I’d realize that I missed my chance.
See, my problem was that I was afraid of rejection.
I wanted her to make the first move, because that would calm my fear and make me less anxious.
But this is a pure beta mindset. And once I learned to overcome it, I did a lot less regretting my missed opportunities and a LOT MORE making out with hot women!
The fear of rejection is one of the most common fears in dating and relationships. And that’s exactly what we’re afraid of when the idea of ‘making the first move’ feels scary.
Here’s a good rule of thumb to follow.
If you’re feeling a vibe, and think that it may be a good time to go in for the kiss, do so… but do it a little bit slowly.
Let her see that you’re confidently moving inward to kiss her, and pay close attention to her body movements.
Is she maintaining where she is, looking passionately/anxiously into your eyes, and/or moving closer to you?
If so, she’s giving you the green light.
Is she moving her head or body away from you? If so, that’s a red light, and a sign to slam on the breaks!
6. Be Careful With Your Hands
Sometimes, men go in with their hands and start feeling the woman up as soon as their lips meet.
But my advice is to avoid doing this.
My favorite way to navigate this is to let the kissing happen naturally for a moment.
If it’s just a quick kiss, play it cool for now, and keep the hand stuff to a minimum.
If you really want to touch her, give her a light touch to the cheek, or slide her hair out of the way.
If the kiss goes on for longer, and feels like it may turn into a makeout session, start by touching her arms, then her shoulders.
Then, wrap your arms around her and pull her closer to you.
If it continues to get really hot and heavy, you can experiment with moving your hands downward, toward her legs or butt.
But make sure to keep it chill, and to progress at a slowish speed.
Just enjoy the moment and the sensations. Don’t go in for the ‘groping’ too soon. It’ll be a turn-off if it seems like all you care about is grabbing her butt or boobs.
7. Pay Attention To Her Body Language
Paying attention to a woman’s body language will tell you a lot about how she’s feeling, what kind of mood she’s in, and whether or not she’s going to want you to kiss her.
To be honest, I can almost always tell whether or not a woman’s going to be interested in kissing before I even go in for it.
By paying attention to her body language.
Does she seem engaged in our conversation?
Is she making lots of eye contact?
Have I initiated a little bit of flirting to test the waters, and has she met those flirtatious tests with a welcoming vibe?
If so, then there’s a really good chance that she’d actually really like me to kiss her.
Pay really close attention to how she responds to you.
When you go in for the kiss, watch how she reacts. Does she lean in, and does her body move closer to yours?
Or do you notice that she’s trying to ‘inch away’ from you, as if to put distance between you?
Women who want to be kissed will try to cut down the distance between you… while women who don’t want to be kissed will try to create distance.
Paying close attention to her body language will help you to determine her true state of mind, and give you important clues about what she’s thinking.
8. Start With A Slow Kiss And Build Up From There
Don’t go all-in with the tongue right at first.
Start up slow, and build up gradually.
Start with a delicate kiss, placed gently on her lips.
Test the water. See how she responds.
As the first kiss is winding down, take note of how you feel.
Did you enjoy it? Do you want to go in for a follow-up?
Is the context suitable for another, or was this more of a ‘quick peck’ type thing… a teaser for later?
All of these details matter.
Personally, I like to just enjoy that first kiss, and see how I feel about it.
If I like it, and if she seems to be responding to it, I’ll go in for another… and this time I may put an arm around her, touch her shoulder, brush her hair to the side, cup her cheek, or initiate some other kind of light physical contact.
If it turns into a full blown make out session, then you can ramp things up a bit and take it to another level with more passionate kissing, and maybe even some tongue action.
9. Be Gentle, But Not Too Gentle
When kissing a woman, it’s important to kiss her like a man.
Don’t kiss her weakly.
Be gentle… but make sure that there’s power behind it.
Be a strong, masculine creature who’s trying to be gentle.
Don’t be a ‘weak’ man who’s afraid to kiss with passion and vigor.
Sometimes, the best kisses are those that land with great impact.
After kissing for a moment or two, if her body seems to be responding well, consider pulling her into your chest and kissing her more deeply.
Don’t be afraid to be a little rough.
You can even bite her lip a little bit if you want. Just don’t go too hard. Some women like pain, but some are turned off by it.
You can also assert yourself sexually by being a bit ‘stronger’ with how you touch her. Pull her close to you, grip her a bit more tightly, use a more ‘forceful’ grip to grasp her chin and kiss her deeply, etc.
The only thing to really remember when kissing forcefully, though, is that you need to be 100% sure that all signals are pointing towards her enjoying it.
If you sense that she’s trying to back away or end the kiss, you definitely want to cease and desist.
10. Should You Use Tongue?
When kissing a woman, I don’t advise using your tongue too much at first.
Starting off too strong with a lot of tongue action can shock a woman and put her off.
My advice to men is to start out slow and gentle.
Kiss her delicately on the lips. Stretch this into two, three, or four longer and more passionate kisses, each one slightly longer and deeper than the last.
Pay attention to how she responds.
Is she matching your energy and ramping up the exchange to match your increase in passion?
If so, you may be headed toward a full-blown make out session.
My advice is to wait until you’ve exchanged several passionate kisses before going in with a bit of delicate tongue work.
At first, use your tongue very lightly. Just enough to test the water and see how she responds.
If she matches this by using her own tongue in a similar fashion, you can be pretty sure that you’ve gotten the green light to go a bit harder.
11. Experiment With Different Techniques
When I’m kissing a woman, I like to enjoy myself and experiment with all kinds of different angles, techniques, and sensations.
I may angle my head slightly between kisses, experiment with kissing different parts of her lips, and even branch off to kiss along her jawline, cheeks, ears, etc.
Don’t be afraid to mix things up.
As long as she’s into it, this is a moment and experience for you to thoroughly savor and enjoy..
When you find a way of kissing her that feels especially pleasurable, don’t be afraid to linger there and enjoy it some more.
On the same token, if you stumble upon a way of kissing that seems to elicit pleasurable responses from her, consider delving a bit deeper and exploring that way of kissing a bit more thoroughly.
One thing to keep in mind is that your method of kissing, as long as it isn’t abrasive or ridiculous, is secondary to you being genuine and authentic, and expressing your genuine burning desire for her through the kissing itself.
Women don’t necessarily want you to be entirely focused on pleasing them while kissing or making out.
Of course they want to enjoy it. But her true enjoyment, and a greater source of excitement for her than the technique itself, will be the fact that you, a high-value man, is desiring her so deeply that you’re expressing yourself to her in such a sensual and erotic fashion.
Kissing, as a general rule, is far more enjoyable and desirable to women when it’s being enjoyed with a high-value, alpha mentality man who is living in true masculine frame and expressing sincere sexual desire for her.
In other words; if she likes you, then it’ll be super hot to her that you’re enjoying it as well.
12. Keep Your Lips Soft And Moist
If you have dry, cracked, or chapped lips, then your kisses are going to lack the softness and the sensual touch that women crave from a man.
For this reason, consider carrying a bit of chapstick or lip balm with you, just in case that moment arises and you feel that your lips are just a bit too dry.
How do you know that you’re a good kisser?
The only way to tell for sure if you’re actually a good kisser is to pay attention to how she responds to you.
If the kissing suddenly seems to die down in intensity on her end, or if she gives you the signal that she seems to be done with the activity before it really gets off the ground, those are good signs that she just wasn’t feeling it, and that it wasn’t enjoyable for her.
What makes a good kisser?
What makes a good kisser in a man is his ability to be empathetic and pay attention to how the woman is responding to his touches and advances.
It may sound confusing, but women only want to be kissed when they want to be kissed, by the man who they want to kiss them, but they don’t want him to ask permission, because that puts her on a pedestal and shows that you’re not a truly alpha, masculine man.
The best tool a man has at his disposal for dealing with the rather complicated nature of a woman’s desire is to pay attention to what her body end behavior is telling him.
That’s a wrap!
Hopefully, this post has given you everything you need to become an incredible kisser that women will desire and crave.
But of course, it all hinges on one very important factor.
To be desirable to women, you must constantly be striving to be the highest value man in the room.
Go with grace my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus