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How To Be A Leader

How To Be A Leader – 21 Alpha Leadership Qualities That Truly Matter

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“Treat your men as you would your own beloved sons. And they will follow you into the deepest valley.”

― Sun Tzu, The Art of War

How to be a leader

This is a question that strikes at the true heart of what it means to be an alpha male

Above most other things, alpha males are true, effective leaders

They are not bullies or tyrants. They are not lazy. They are not ineffective. 

They are fully capable of seeing what needs to be done, rallying their tribe to their cause, and executing to bring victory for themselves and those who follow them

They see the value in team dynamics, but they also know that getting people to work together requires that someone step up to lead. And a true alpha will never shy away from this role. 

In this post, I’m going to cover 21 alpha leadership qualities that truly matter. 

Yes, qualities like masculinity and learning how to win with women matter if you want to be an alpha male. But if you want to be a true alpha, you must learn how to be a leader. Alpha mentality and leadership are joined together so closely that they cannot really be separated.

If you want to know how to be a leader, start by cultivating these qualities in your life and putting them into action, regardless of whether you are working by yourself, or leading a massive team. 

1… Courage

No true, effective leader ever succeeded without courage. You must be fearless in times of need, and you need to embody that fearlessness not only for yourself, but also for the people around you. 

Leading a tribe isn’t for the weak-hearted. You need to take risks as a leader. And if you aren’t willing to do that, you’re simply not going to lead your tribe to any true measure of greatness. 

2… Self Discipline

You cannot effectively demand discipline from your followers if you are not disciplined yourself. 

A powerful leader leads by example. 

If you require everyone to show up at 7, you show up at 6:30. 

If you require everyone to work for 5 hours, you work for 6 hours. 

You need to be able to demonstrate a greater level of discipline than you require in your tribe if you truly wish to succeed as a leader

3… Self Reliance

It is incredibly important that you learn how to meet your own needs as a leader. 

Existing at the top of the hierarchy provides you with many benefits. But it can also be a difficult place, a place where few other people can relate to you, where everyone needs something from you, and where you must be ready to provide support for everyone around you without necessarily being able to expect support in return

As it turns out, existing at the top is also very stressful

And so, you need to be self-reliant to be an effective leader. You need to be able to self-soothe your own stress, be your own friend, and get your own back. 

4… A No Complaining Attitude – Just Solutions

Effective leaders understand that complaining only makes things worse. 

So the buck stops with them. 

They do not complain. Instead, they fix problems and either invent, create, or deliver solutions. 

Leaders who complain threaten to undermine morale. They also have a tendency to spread a sense of pessimism amongst their tribe… and that never amounts to anything good! 

5… Wisdom

A strong leader is as wise as he is strong

He understands that he cannot just use brute force, orders, or direct head-on energy to solve every problem. 

Sometimes, you need to look at a problem from many angles, and understand the complexity of it before you can understand the best and most efficient way to solve it. 

That is why the most effective leaders are also very wise leaders

6… Kindness

A leader who talks down to his subordinates is more like a bully than a leader. And bullies never survive long once the rubber hits the road. 

If you want the respect of the people around you, you need to earn it with kindness. 

Kindness doesn’t mean that you don’t stand strong on your position. It just means that you regulate the way you interact with people to avoid being unnecessarily rude, mean, or intolerable. 

Kindness will go a long way toward earning respect and loyalty from your tribe. 

7… Respect

Respect goes hand-in-hand with kindness. 

If you want your tribe to respect you, you must also respect them. 

A leader who always treats even his enemies with some measure of respect is a leader who will and can command great respect from those around him. 

A word for the wise… if you want respect from your tribe, you must first show them what proper respect is by displaying respect for them

This doesn’t mean that you become a doormat and let people walk on you. It means that even when you need to confront someone about a problem, you remain respectful as you exercise boundary-setting and put things back in order. 

8… Responsibility

Strong, capable leaders are responsible. They don’t waste time on things that don’t matter, and they don’t overlook important things. 


Because they know that if they want to lead their tribe to victory, they need to have a plan and be ready to execute that plan flawlessly… or at least, as flawlessly as they can

In my freelance writing business, if I don’t remain responsible for the writers I work with, they might end up out of work with nothing to do on Monday morning! It is my job to make sure that they have work… even if that means working over the weekend to make sure all of the pieces are in place. 

If I fail at this, I am not operating very responsibly! 

9… Effective Communication

Knowing how to communicate effectively is a must for leaders who actually want to be effective. 

I’ve seen so many leaders just get discouraged and throw their hands up when communication breaks down… and these types of leaders tend not to get very much accomplished. 

On the same note, I’ve seen leaders who put a great amount of effort into making sure that everyone is understood. And even though this approach may take longer and require more effort, the results at the other end of the work speak for themselves. 

10… Integrity

People are naturally repulsed by a lack of integrity, and for good reason. If you don’t have trust… what do you have?

Besides, why would someone choose to lend their effort or loyalty to a leader or tribe that doesn’t behave with integrity? 

Integrity is not only effective… it is also mandatory if you want you tribe to feel comfortable helping you with your goal. 

11… Consistency

Consistency is another must for leaders who actually want to lead their tribe to victory. 

Consistency is honestly one of the single greatest determiners of success

Waking up and building great habits, day after day, is what leads to things actually getting done. 

And as always, the leader must lead the pack in this. If the leader does not live their life with consistent habits in place, how can they expect to ask for consistency, which is such a fundamental building block to success, from the people around them?

In short, they really can’t! 

12… How To Be A Leader… Act With Humility

A strong leader will know when to be humble. This might mean admitting that they were wrong about something, admitting that they do not know as much about something as someone else, being open to criticism that might point the team in a better direction, etc. 

You must be strong as a leader. But you must also be open to hearing other sides of the equation WITHOUT tolerating needless dissent or disrespect. 

This is a fine balancing act that successful leaders must learn to master. 

If you want to learn how to be a leader, you must also be humble enough to give their team credit when things go right, and not try to take all the glory for yourself. 

In many ways, the best leaders will literally consider themselves a servant to their tribe, and that is a very powerful mindset to maintain, as long as it is kept balanced with the idea that you must also, at the same time, be the strong leader that your tribe needs. 

13… Tenacity 

This one is simple. You need to be tough to be a leader. You really need to be tougher than nails… and then some. 

If you’re easily offended, easily angered, easily flustered, or your feelings are easy to hurt… then you’re either going to need to get really tough really quick, or you might want to get back in line and let someone else lead. 

You need to be tough enough to take some serious criticism without reacting to it emotionally. That is absolutely fundamental to success for any effective leader. 

14… Positivity

Effective leaders cultivate hope and positivity in their tribe. Even when nobody else feels optimistic, a leader will still carry with them the spirit of victory, and will do their best to boost the morale of their tribe. 

This is a very, very important function that a leader must perform, and almost falls under the realm of ‘spiritual’ leadership, as it has so much to do with the condition of someone’s very sense of hope or hopelessness. 

As a leader, your beliefs matter… even if it seems like they don’t.

And if you don’t truly believe in victory for your team, it will show… and the mindset will spread.

15… Confidence

True, powerful leaders are confident. They are confident not only in themselves, but also in their team

A word of the wise… if your team is truly incompetent, don’t lie to yourself. Either train them to become better and put in the work that they need to level-up, or step down. 

Do not settle for fake confidence unless your definition of success does not depend on actual functional results. And even then, you should still have confidence that whatever your objective is, it will be met with success.

Confidence comes from knowing and believing that you and your team have what it takes to win… not from lying to yourself about it. If your team isn’t ready, get them whipped into shape and get them ready. That is part of the job.

16… Ambition

Leaders must learn to see opportunity everywhere, even in the failures and defeats. They must also be dedicated to killing stagnation wherever it may threaten to grow. 

A leader is always looking to new horizons, and pushing their tribe to do better

If your leader is fine with your stagnating… there is probably something wrong with your leader, because a true, powerful leader will continue to push not only themselves, but also their tribe, to higher levels of greatness. 

17… A Team Or Tribe-Based Mentality

If you really want to learn how to be a leader, start by cultivating a tribe-based mentality. 

This was especially difficult for me to overcome. I always felt that I had to do everything myself in order for it to be correct. 

But this is not scalable, and it is not effective. 

Learn to think with a tribe mentality. You are not just a man or a woman now… you are the figurehead and thinking head of an entire group of people

If you don’t have your head in that mindspace yet, work on it and get there. 

18… Empathy

Knowing how to empathize with and understand your tribe members is incredibly important. In fact, knowing what they need and how they are fairing on a daily basis may be even more important to track than any other resource. 

A wise leader knows that he needs to care for and nurture his tribe, while also drawing strict lines and making sure that everything gets done with excellence. This is a very challenging balancing act, but wise and effective commanders learn how to master it with precision. 

19… You Must Be Able To Delegate

This is pretty self-explanatory. You can’t do everything yourself, and you cannot expect the people around you to read your mind. 

Without proper instructions, work will never get done. That’s your job. 

Give effective instructions, and continue to level up that skill as you grow

This is how leaders take control of a team and achieve big things in short amounts of time. 

20… Gratitude

At the end of the day, leaders must also possess an attitude of gratitude for everything that happens. 

If their team performs at 80% effectiveness, they are grateful for everyone’s hard work. But they also balance this by being ready to push them to 81% the next day

They are never bitter or complaining… they are grateful for the progress, and they take responsibility for the things that need to get better. 

This is a trait that very wise leaders understand to be immensely important. 

21… How To Be A Leader – Level Up Your Critical Thinking Skills 

Among all of the qualities we have listed, critical thinking stands out as one of the most important. 

You must be able to think conceptually about every situation. You must be able to solve problems… even if those problems require you to deviate from normal patterns of behavior. 

You must be able to see the problem laid out before you, plot a road map to solving it, delegate tasks accordingly, and push your team to excellence… all while also nurturing them, caring for them, inspiring them, drawing healthy boundaries, and leading by example. 

In Conclusion

Being a leader isn’t easy. And it isn’t even the right position for many people. 

Many people are better suited to be followers, and there is nothing wrong with that in the least.

But if you are on the alpha male journey, and believe that being an alpha is right for you… then leadership is inevitable for you, at least to some degree. 


Because alpha humans are true, effective leaders

You cannot divorce alpha mentality from a leadership mentality.

Even if you only lead a small team, a small family, or yourself and a partner… that still counts as leadership.

So embrace these 21 qualities, learn how to be a leader, and step up to become the pillar of strength that your tribe needs you to be. 

Learn to give value and to provide security. Learn to be someone who everyone else can turn to for strength. 

This is the destiny of the true alpha male. 

For more alpha male qualities, check out the Oath of Kings, which is the personal alpha male code that I live my life by. 

Never give up your power, my friends. 

Until next time… 

Joshua K. Sigafus