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how to be alpha

How To Be Alpha – 7 Steps That Every Alpha Needs To Take

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How to be alpha. 

This is a super important question. 


Because my blog is dedicated to helping men win with women. And I believe that embracing the alpha male mindset and lifestyle, as I have laid out in my personal alpha code, the Oath of Kings, is how we do it. 


This is simple. Women, above all else, are attracted to resource potential

They are attracted to high-value men. 

And so, yes… we can learn game, pickup, flirting, how to not get friendzoned, and all kinds of other attraction skills. But if we don’t level up as a high value man, and learn how to be alpha in our lives… well, these tips are only going to help so much. 

But how do you start this journey?

Today, I’m going to talk about 7 steps that every alpha needs to take to get started on this path. 

If you want to learn how to be alpha, this post is for you. 

[Can trans men be alpha males? Absolutely! Check out this post for my official stance on this important topic!]

Step 1: Start Making Money

This is one of the most important steps you can make as you learn how to be alpha.

Your life, and your destiny/success with women, literally depend on it. 

A man who isn’t in control of his own finances, who isn’t in control of his own money, will never experience true freedom. He will always be at the mercy of others… to pay his bills, to buy his food, etc. 

And so, as alpha men, we must make sure that we are generating our own wealth. 

The best way to start this is to get a job. Find a job, dedicate yourself to it, show up 10 minutes early for your shift, and always strive to be the best, hardest working man in the room. 

And don’t quit until either you have some savings packed away… or you have another, better job lined up to replace it! 

Step 2: Get Your Own Living Space

Living with someone else can save you money and help you to get your life on-track. But eventually, if you want to learn how to be alpha in your life, you will need to take control of your own living situation. 

At first, you will probably rent your own apartment or house. 

But later on, this can (and probably should) lead to you buying your own house. 

Each one of these steps takes a great amount of responsibility. But each one also puts you into more direct control of your own source of shelter. 

You cannot be kicked out of your house by a roommate if your name is the name on the lease. 

You cannot be told what to do (or what not to do) in a house if you own that house

Take constructive steps toward securing your own shelter, that you have control over, so that you will be able to take responsibility for this crucial aspect of life. 

Constantly begging family or friends to let you sleep on their couch is not the alpha male way. An alpha male will create more order in his life than that. 

Couch surfing is fine to get you on your feet. But this cannot last forever.

Step 3: Start Adopting Responsible Habits

Stop partying every night. Stop drinking excessively. 

Start setting an alarm before you go to bed. 

Start cleaning your house, paying your bills on-time, keeping a calendar, and seeing to the things that require your attention. 

Start doing laundry and making sure you look good on a daily basis.

So many men get themselves into trouble by not acting responsibly. 

Don’t be like this! Start standing up and taking ownership over your life. 

This is how you start to take back control from the chaos around you. 

Step 4: Start Setting Goals

A true, powerful alpha will learn how to set goals for himself, and he will stick to those goals. 

He may have a goal to get a better job within a year, to have a certain amount of money saved up after 6 months, to be better at a certain skill, etc. 

You may need to find your purpose before you set goals. If so, start putting some thought into what you want for yourself in the future.

Setting goals can be difficult. You just need to look at your life, decide what you want, and then make short, medium, and long-term plans that take you to that point. 

What will need to happen to get you from point a to point b?

What will you need to accomplish?

Figure this out, and start setting goals to make a road map for yourself. 

Step 5: Learn To Stop Complaining, Whining, And Acting Like A Victim

If you really want to learn how to be alpha, it is incredibly important that you stop negative talk.

I made it a rule in my life never to complain. And it has literally transformed me from being a whiny victim, into a powerful man who commands (and gets) respect in my life.

Sure, I may get frustrated, and I may vent these frustrations to my trusted friends… but I do not complain. 

When you complain, you give away all of your power. 

So instead of this… 

“My boss was such a jerk to me at work today. He is so verbally abusive. I wish I didn’t have to work this job. They don’t pay me enough. I hate my life so much. There is just no hope.” 

Say, and think, something more like this… 

“I can see that my current job is not the one I want to have forever, for many reasons. That is frustrating, but if I want to change it, I will need to take action. I will start filling out applications, level-up my resume, and take control of this situation. I need to create my own solutions. Whining about it won’t help anything.”

This is a true alpha-male attitude! Be tough as nails, and ready to take action to change your life for the better! 

Step 6: Start Investing Positively Into The Lives Of Good People In Your Life

Do you have great friends? Do you have family members who are really good to have in your life?

Identify the people who add to your life the most, and make a conscious effort to give back to them. 

Buy them a gift. Send them a grateful text telling them how much they mean to you. Cook or buy them dinner when you get the chance. 

Do something every week to show your appreciation, and to demonstrate to them that they mean something to you. 

These little seeds of goodwill will sprout into strong, powerful, positive relationships, and a great deal of loyalty. Do not underestimate the value of good people in your life. They are hard to find, and it is in your best interest to give back to them and cultivate/nourish those relationships. 

Step 7: Start Getting Healthier

Hit the gym. Start eating more vegetables. Cut back on candy and soda. 

Start taking karate lessons, or learn to rock climb. 

Do something active on a daily basis to get your body moving, and back this up with a healthy diet. 

Cut out needless sugar and processed foods. Instead, eat whole foods. 

Instead of eating something with a thousand ingredients… eat a carrot, a potato, or a piece of chicken. 

Drink plenty of water. 

Your health is fundamentally important! Learn to take care of your body so that you will have a healthy vehicle to carry your mind around and accomplish your goals! 

In Conclusion: How To Be Alpha

Learning how to be alpha isn’t rocket science. 

It is a step-by-step process that will lead you from living in chaos, to living in victory, order, and success. 

And it will also help you to win with women!

But you need to stick with it. You need to adopt these concepts, and start leveling up your life. 

This is the mandate of the true alpha. 

For more information about the alpha male journey, check out this post

Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power. 

Until next time… 

Joshua K. Sigafus