How to be kind.
This is a question that I have dealt with quite a lot recently.
Sometimes, I have a tendency to be a bit of a hard-ass.
I can also struggle to remain patient with people sometimes.
One of the most frustrating things I run into is anti-masculinity sentiment. There are a lot of women (and surprisingly, also a lot of men) out there who decry masculinity as weak, toxic, and negative.
They are consumed with self loathing, fear, and chaos, and they want to drag masculine men down with them.
I’m not happy about this. It concerns me, because almost every day I see good men beat up over irrational man-hating nonsense… and in all of this, I seriously struggle sometimes to remain kind.
I see these things as challenges that I have a duty and a responsibility to overcome.
The truth is that I believe very much in the power of kindness. In fact, I think that kindness is one of the most powerful signals of strength in alpha men.
Kindness is scientifically proven to make us happier people. And yet, some of us still struggle with it.
Today, I am writing a post that challenges me.
These are the very important tenets of ‘how to be kind’ that I know to be true, and yet struggle to remember when I am trying to be kind to the people around me.
Being Kind Leaves A Positive Legacy
When we treat other people with kindness, we create a moment in time that has the potential to cause a lasting positive ripple in the world.
And that is really, really exciting to me.
My life has literally been changed by single, profound acts of kindness from other people.
And knowing that I have the chance to do that same thing for other people really adds meaning and purpose to my existence.
I just need to remember it, which is the hard part. Obviously, when we fail to be kind, it is usually because our emotions have gotten the better of us… which leads us to our next point.
Being Unkind Invites Chaos Into Our Lives And Interactions
There is almost zero chance that any interaction between humans will be helped by being unkind to others.
Sure, you don’t want to let other people hurt you or take advantage of you.
In fact, you really need to prioritize yourself and take care of yourself before you go out of your way to tax your own energy for other people.
But you can draw healthy boundaries and enforce them without neglecting kindness and respect for the other party, too.
In fact, I think that showing kindness and respect to people who are on the opposite side of us in conflict is, perhaps, the greatest show of strength that a man can embody.
When we treat others with kindness, we help to create more order.
But when we treat others unkindly, we invite chaos.
Obviously, there are times when people are going to dislike us even when we are being kind. And this dislike can spill over into all kinds of chaotic behaviors.
But at least in these cases we did the best we could to bring order.
Being kind is also never a waste of time or energy, because it virtually always invites better odds of a peaceful, beneficial outcome.
Being Kind Gives Us Tremendous Power To Help Our Tribe
As an alpha male, you want to help your tribe. You want to see it grow, flourish, and prosper.
You also want to see the members of your tribe win… as often as possible.
This is almost never accomplished as well through unkindness.
When we treat the members of our tribe, family, and/or social groups with respect, kindness, encouragement, patience, and empathy, while still enforcing healthy boundaries and remaining firm in our convictions… we give them a truly priceless gift.
We give them the gift of true, unwavering, effective leadership and strength.
Being Unkind Is A Waste Of Time, Energy, And Resources
I have wasted a lot of energy in my life being unkind.
I have spoken many words that were not polite. I have spoken words that were harsh. I have insulted people, belittled them, and attacked them with my words.
Please take it from someone who has learned better… all of this is a great waste of our potential.
It is so much better to just walk away than to delve into unkindness.
On the flipside… even just a word or two spoken in positivity has the power to create tremendous positive energy, and influence a massive beneficial outcome.
One single unkind word, on the other hand, has the power to destroy morale, damage feelings, and lay waste to the heart and soul of everything you care about.
Being Kind Is A True Alpha Male Show Of Strength
This is a powerful lesson. And even as I write these words, I am humbled to know that I still stumble in this particular step.
To embody kindness in all of our words and interactions evidences our sheer, effective, powerful inner strength… while the embodiment of unkindness only reveals our weaknesses.
It is easy to be rude. It is easy to be impatient. It is easy to give-in to your angry feelings and your aggressive words and actions.
But it is so much more worthwhile to lift someone up than to beat them down.
It is so much more worthwhile to support someone than to hurt them.
This is why it is so vitally important that we learn to take control over our lives, and embrace order instead of chaos.
I Grow So Tired Of People Who Try To Say That ‘Traditional Masculinity’ Is Toxic. They Are Wrong, Wrong, WRONG!
Masculinity has no more to do with toxic behavior than femininity.
At the end of the day, we all have our choices.
All that exists is what we choose to do.
And I have watched equal shares of men and women destroy their lives with unkind behavior.
It is just so, so simple. A lot of people overthink it. They think that being unkind is somehow a state of their health, and that if they aren’t healthy, then they can blame their anger and their aggression on other people.
But this is the coward’s way.
As alpha men, we must take responsibility in this world to be a solid force for positivity.
We must stand against all of the bullshit with ironclad resolve, lead our tribes in hard times, remain stoic enough to handle the unkindness of others with kindness in return… and peaceful enough in our lives and selves to remain self-aware when we face conflict.
It is both the simplest and the hardest thing in life, especially as you walk the alpha male path and take self-responsibility more and more seriously.
Because on this path, you aren’t just laying around being lazy with your time. You are constantly working to level up and make yourself a better person.
And when people who aren’t putting in that effort speak unkindly to you… well, the temptation to lash back at them is very strong.
But we can’t do it, men. We must remain strong, stay kind, and hold the course.
Now more than ever, the world needs strong men, who will stand up for their convictions. It needs men like you and I to be tough as nails, perfectly capable of taking up our burdens and bearing them for our tribe.
It needs men who are willing to look anti-masculine ideals in the face, tell those who speak them that they are not correct, and still conduct ourselves with kindness.
I am speaking more to myself in this than to anyone else.
But still… I hope you find meaning in these words.
In Conclusion: How To Be Kind – It Isn’t A Complicated Concept
Let’s all just be kind. It’s so simple.
And yet, it is the most powerful thing we can all do.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus