How to deal with someone who led you on.
I actually picked this question up from a member of a group I follow.
Basically, it goes like this… You meet someone, you are interested in them, you invest time into getting to know them… and they seem to reciprocate, until they end up dropping you and focusing more on someone else.
This can feel really bad, and can cause you to doubt yourself. You may find yourself asking ‘what did I do wrong?’ Or ‘why wasn’t I good enough?’
Well, trust me. I’ve been there!
And I’ve certainly learned a few things about this that may be helpful to readers out there who have experienced the same thing.
When You Meet Someone, You Go Through A ‘Getting To Know Each Other’ Period
During this period, you will probably text/message each other. You may talk on the phone, plan a date, or even go on a date.
This may last for a few hours, a few days, or even longer. If you end up liking each other enough, it may never stop!
But more often than not, especially online, one of the people involved in the conversation may begin to pull away.
They may text less and less. Their answers may turn into one word answers, and then disappear altogether.
Or maybe, you see that they are now blowing up someone else’s social media, paying another person the attention that you used to get from them.
I’m not gonna lie. I’ve been there. And it sucks!
Why Does This Happen?
If you feel ‘led on’ by someone acting like this, I want you to understand that you are not alone.
As humans, we all want to have hope that we will find the type of relationship we are looking for.
We want to have hope that we will find love, have awesome sex, experience intimacy, and be desired by someone.
We all want nice relationships. And holding onto that ‘hope’ is very important to us!
But sometimes, after talking to someone for a little while, they may start to pull away.
And here is why.
When someone pulls away during the conversation, it is usually because, for one reason or another, they have lost hope that the situation will turn into the relationship that they desire.
I hate to break it to you, but they probably got to know you just well enough that they decided that they didn’t want you.
Yep. It sucks. It hurts. There is just no other way to say it.
How To Deal With Being Led On
Alright. If you feel like you’ve been led on, you might feel sad, depressed, hopeless, and rejected.
And all of these things are understandable.
But, it is really important for you to remember that this is not your destiny.
It is also very important not to chase this person!
If they led you on, and then dropped you for someone else, this is not the kind of person you want in your life anyway… no matter how much you like them or how attractive they are.
You deserve a partner who will be just as into you as you are into them.
So remember… no chasing!
We live in a world where online dating has become commonplace. People are very distracted. People are talking to many different people at the same time.
So, there is a lot of competition. But there is also a massive incidence of people not feeling fulfilled in their relationships.
Because rejection happens so much more often now!
With that being said, I want you to understand that you may need to shift your mindset to help you deal with this.
I am going to put it as plainly as I can.
As strong men and women, we need to make sure that we are working every day on validating ourselves, loving ourselves, and building ourselves up.
But we also need to be leveling-up and building up our mindset!
You see, we need to have that quiet confidence that comes from knowing that we are attractive, desirable people. This gives us hope, but it also makes us more attractive as potential partners.
If you already know that you are desirable, and feel confident in it – congrats! You are in a much better place than many!
But if you struggle to feel like you are desirable or attractive, I want you to take a moment and look in the mirror.
Say this to yourself.
You are desirable. Just because you haven’t found the right relationship yet doesn’t mean that you don’t have a lot to offer.
But I also want you to say this to yourself.
I am going to continue to work on myself and make myself better. I’m going to nourish my spirit, my mind, and my body, and continue to grow into a better, high-value potential mate.
I also want you to spend some time with your good friends. Fill your mind with positivity. Put away social media for a little while, and only consume content that makes you happy, that fills you with hope, that motivates you, and that helps you to feel better and more confident about your life.
We Need To Accept Ourselves AND Work On Ourselves
Finding the type of relationship we have always dreamed of involves us doing three things.
- We need to be confident in ourselves
- We need to continue to level up in our lives
- We need to understand that nobody is perfect, and we must be patient
For more guidance, check out my Force of Attraction video series on YouTube. This is a free video course I created for men… and while it is mostly focused on helping men to level up their attraction and dating lives, women can also benefit from it, as the advice will be nearly the same for women.
As high value men and women, we need to focus on being the best version of ourselves. I DO NOT want to see you getting down and depressed over being led-on by someone.
Instead, I want to see you living your best life… going to groups, signing up for classes, hanging out with friends, pursuing your hobbies, and constantly building your social network.
I want to see you minding your business, chasing your own money, and pursuing your own purpose!
The key to winning at the dating game is to become such a high value man or woman that we have the power to take control of our destiny.
But in order to do this, we need to be kind to ourselves. We also need to be honest about how we can become better!
I hope that this post has helped you.
Being led on hurts. But the best way to get past it is to remember that this is not your destiny. You can, and will, find the type of relationship you want.
You just need to keep working on it, while remaining true to who you are.
If you have any further questions, please feel free to message me!
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
Until next time,
Joshua K Sigafus