How to embrace the alpha mentality.
This is really what it all comes down to.
If you want to learn how to be truly alpha in your life, then this is exactly where it all starts. The concept itself is actually really simple. But in practice, there’s a lot to learn.
I’ve already been on this journey for over six years now.
And every single day, I’m learning new techniques or strategies that help me to level up my own alpha mentality.
The good news, however, is that you don’t need to be an expert to get started and make it work for you.
You just have to be willing to follow these 5 important steps to get started embracing true alpha mentality today.
This post is going to give you everything you need to begin your alpha journey.
Let’s dive into it.
The 5 Most Important Steps For Truly Embracing The Alpha Mentality In Life
1. Commit To The Alpha Mentality
This is it.
This is where it all begins.
Are you ready to acknowledge that the steps and techniques you were using in your before this moment just weren’t working?
For me, this happened back in 2017 when my life fell apart, my marriage ended, and I lost everything.
I had to perform a total life reset.
This was a painful process for me.
However, what was even more painful about it was acknowledging and admitting that I had been the one who caused it.
Sure, I wanted to point fingers and blame everyone else around me.
- I wanted to blame my family for not raising me differently.
- I wanted to blame my church for not teaching me how to be a real man.
- I wanted to blame my wife for choosing to end our marriage.
- I wanted to blame the friends who had abandoned me along the way as my life started spiraling out of control.
- I wanted to blame society for failing me as a citizen, a human, and a man.
Once you choose to embrace the alpha mentality, you have to choose to let all of that go and to realize that even though life isn’t perfect, we have ultimate power and control over how to shape our destiny while we live and walk upon this earth.
And this instills within us a sense of great self-responsibility—an understanding that if we’re going to make our lives better, we must take proactive measures to make it happen.
This is a vital truth that you must accept if you truly want to become alpha and create the destiny that you desire for yourself.
What Is The Alpha Mentality?
The definition of alpha mentality: Being ‘alpha’ means: to take action-oriented, intentional control of your life energy, resources, and strategic trajectory—embracing radical self-responsibility, shirking victim mentality, and determining to utilize your time and resources wisely to proactively create a meaningful, signiﬁcant destiny and lasting legacy of greatness in the world.
Is The Alpha Mentality Just For Men?
A lot of people focus on (and talk about) the concept of the alpha male.
However, the truth of the matter is that you can (and should) embrace the alpha mentality regardless of whether you’re a man or a woman.
Women can be just as alpha as men. And while the masculine and the feminine do bring different qualities and gifts to the paradigm, the alpha mentality remains the same.
Can Alpha Mentality Be Learned?
In fact, the whole purpose of this website, my YouTube channel, and my podcast is to help men and women understand the truths and basics of the alpha mentality so that they can deploy these truths in their own lives, to experience the kind of incredible paradigm shifts that I’ve experienced in my own life.
The truth of the matter is that you have the power to create whatever destiny you desire for yourself.
I completely believe this.
However, in order to make it real, it’s important for you to embrace a certain set of values and principles, and the alpha mentality gives you a system of principles to embrace to create this destiny for yourself.
2. Reject The Beta Mentality
The beta mentality is literally the opposite of the alpha mentality.
Being ‘beta’ means that instead of creating your destiny intentionally, you just react to the chaos of life and the world—allowing the actions and decisions of other people and outside circumstances to decide how you’re going to live, and whether or not you’re going to succeed.
See, you can’t be alpha and beta.
You can’t be one foot in and one foot out.
- Whenever you’re acting beta, you’re not acting alpha.
- Whenever you’re acting alpha, you’re intentionally rejecting beta mentality.
We must become as adept at rejecting the beta mentality as we are at embracing the alpha mentality.
So make the decision today to reject the beta mentality in your life.
Here is a list of values that can help you to understand how to do this.
Characteristics Of The Alpha Mentality:
- Understands that they must create their own meaning in life by choosing a purpose and committing to its pursuit
- Identiﬁes the challenges or obstacles standing in their way, and takes radical self-responsibility in life to shoulder the burden of facing and defeating those obstacles
- Decides to take intentional, proactive action on a daily basis
- Makes a plan
- Executes the plan
- Analyzes and adapts when they face failure
- Turns failures into lessons
- Continues onward to create their own destiny and legacy in life
This stands in stark contrast to the beta mentality.
Characteristics Of The Beta Mentality:
- Believes that they’re a victim in life
- Gives away their power because they don’t want to accept full responsibility for their existence
- Doesn’t have a sense of purpose or meaning; sometimes because they believe that the universe owes them these things (false sense of entitlement)
- Shrinks away from diﬃculties, obstacles, and challenges
- Reacts to the chaos of life instead of making a plan and taking proactive action to execute that plan
- Complains and blames others when they face failure
- Stays in their ‘comfort zone’ and lives a mostly risk-averse lifestyle
3. Strive To Be ‘The Best Man Or Woman In The Room’
One thing that a lot of people don’t understand about the alpha mentality is that success within it is based on the human instinct to arrange ourselves into a status hierarchy.
In any given social group, hierarchy, or room, humans will naturally (and usually subconsciously) arrange themselves according to their power and status using a very complex range of criteria.
In fact, the scientific definition for the word alpha is simply this: to be the highest ranking member of one’s gender within their given social context or group.
(i.e. to be the best man or woman in the room.)
See, this is why I call the alpha mentality the alpha mentality, and not just the intentional mentality.
Yes, we want to be intentional and proactive.
But to be really honest, that isn’t always enough to create an amazing destiny for ourselves.
We must always be seeking to pursue excellence and to achieve mastery over the things that matter to us.
This means that we should always be working on ourselves to try to level up to become the very best man or woman in the room.
What does this mean?
It means that we should strive to:
- Work harder to be more productive
- Pursue excellence more
- Achieve greater mastery over the things that matter to us
- Be more ripped, healthy, and fit
- Make more money
- Be better dressed
- Be better spoken
- Be more empathetic
- Be better leaders
- Be better at drawing ironclad boundaries and enforcing them with kindness and respect
Now listen, you don’t have to be perfect to embrace the alpha mentality.
And the truth of the matter is that there are a lot of amazing people in this world.
You’re not always going to literally be the best man or woman in the room.
But that doesn’t matter.
It’s not necessarily about being the best man or woman in the room.
It’s about putting effort every day into being the best that you can be, and always striving to be 1% better than the person you were yesterday.
If you follow this simple self-improvement formula, you’ll always be on an upward trajectory.
And that is really the whole point.
We don’t need to become masters of the hierarchy in order to succeed.
But we do need to be aiming at being masters of the hierarchy and working our way toward that at our own pace, becoming 1% better every day.
4. Follow The 18 Vows
In the aftermath of my failed marriage and realizing that I needed to radically transform myself, I started crafting a set of rules to help me avoid beta mentality behavior.
Eventually, I fleshed out this set of rules to become what I now call the 18 vows of the oath of kings and queens.
These are the vows I strive to live my life by on a daily basis.
And they’ve become instrumental in helping me to understand and embrace some of the core concepts of the alpha mentality that are easy to forget and overlook.
Meditate on these vows every single day.
At the very least, try to read them at least once per day, and to really ponder the words and the meanings behind them.
At first, some of these vows may actually offend you or cause an adverse emotional reaction within you.
If you experience this, it’s probably because you’ve been living in direct violation of that vow for so long that it has become habitual, or because you have some kind of beta mentality belief embedded deeply within your psyche that disagrees with the vow and wants reality to be different.
But here’s the truth.
We can’t change the reality of the world.
We can only change ourselves and our outlook on the world.
And this perspective shift is exactly what we need in order to truly embrace the alpha mentality and begin achieving success for ourselves in all of the vital life domains that matter the most.
Here is a list of the 18 vows.
The 18 Vows Of The Oath Of Kings And Queens
- I vow to reclaim my power from the chaos outside of me.
- I vow to love myself truly and firstly, and to set others free from the requirement to do the same.
- I vow to never again allow a complaint or a concession of weakness to be issued from my mouth.
- I vow to always pursue wisdom in my actions, and to refrain from acting rashly… that I may find balance, and calculate the risks and probabilities of my endeavors with as much accuracy and forethought as possible.
- I vow to never again allow fear to control my destiny.
- I vow to allow respect and kindness to rule my interactions with others… even if they are my enemies, and even as I defeat them in battle.
- I vow to take ownership over my choices, to choose my path intentionally, and to accept my consequences fully.
- I vow to be steadfast in my position… never wavering, never allowing or tolerating disrespect, dissent, or weaker thinking a place in my circle.
- I vow to practice gratitude for every good thing I experience.
- I vow to practice honesty, and to recognize lies, manipulation, and avoidances for the manifestations of the weaknesses they stem from.
- I vow to make myself the best man I can possibly be… to continue to nourish and develop my mind, soul, and body in every possible way, to the best of my ability.
- I vow to strive for excellence in everything I choose to set my hands to.
- I vow to practice the art of true leadership, to build for myself a circle, a family, and a tribe who loves, honors, and respects me… and who I lead, honor, nurture, and protect in return.
- I vow to practice wealth-building, to build for myself a treasury, a throne, a castle, a kingdom, and an empire… and to use these riches to the benefit of those who stand truly by my side.
- I vow to pursue order in my life, to practice rationality and reason, and to abstain from giving control of my actions and reactions to my human emotional-self, which is prone to chaos.
- I vow never to relent in anything that I set my mind to… only to adapt, and never to the detriment of forward progress.
- I vow to adopt and follow my own true purpose… that it may act to shield me from the chaos around me, and give me the strength and direction to live out my days pursuing something meaningful… and to leave a lasting legacy for those who follow me.
- I understand that every day is a battle… and that there is no guarantee of victory tomorrow. So I vow to live gloriously and wisely on this day of days, setting my sights on the battle before me, without losing sleep or hope to the unknown horizon.
5. Shirk The ‘Victim Mentality’
As beta humans who live at or near the bottom of the hierarchy, one of our primary defense mechanisms in life is to try to appear as a victim so that we can enjoy the benefits of getting other people’s pity.
See, when you’re weak and living in beta mentality, getting pity from other people feels good.
It’s truly a defense mechanism, both physically and for your feelings.
When we act pathetic, complain about the world, complain about how things aren’t fair, and try to make our problems seem like they’re not actually our fault—but that they’re instead the fault of the government, of our exes, of people who have wronged us, of negative life circumstances, etc.—what we actually do is give away all of our power and try to present ourselves as helpless, hopeless, trembling little creatures skulking in the corner.
But see, this isn’t the true alpha way.
And if you truly wish to be alpha, you must cast aside your victim mindset and stand up in your own true power.
In other words, you have to shirk the need for other people’s pity.
Personally, for me, I got to a point where people taking pity on me literally made me sick to my stomach.
I was so tired of being a weak victim that I started telling people:
“Please stop feeling sorry for me. I don’t want your pity. I can overcome these challenges myself. I have the power to create the life I want. And even though I’m facing challenges and setbacks right now, I will overcome them.”
This is the kind of attitude you must embrace if you truly wish to become an alpha in your life.
So today, make the decision to shirk and cast aside your victim mentality, and to stand up under your own power.
Determine today to start taking responsibility for your own life and creating your own victories.
Determine today that you’re going to stop looking for pity from other people—and that instead, you’ll start being the strong one—encouraging other people, lifting them up, and always being the strongest one in the room.
You must also commit to stop complaining in life, and instead to always look at life from an optimistic standpoint.
When bad things happen, say to yourself:
“Well, that definitely wasn’t what I was hoping would happen. However, I’m powerful enough to rise above it, learn from it, and overcome it. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do. And I don’t need anyone else’s pity to accomplish that. I can do it under my own power and with my own strength. I’ll overcome these challenges and I’ll prove to myself and to the world that I am truly the master of my own destiny.”
This is exactly the mindset you need to have if you truly wish to embrace the Alpha mentality in life.
Books To Help You Embrace The Alpha Mentality
By Jordan B. Peterson
An amazing book that would be helpful to any human who wants to start succeeding in life in all of the ways that matter the most.
By David Goggins
If you really want to develop your mental toughness and overcome the victim mentality, this book is a MUST READ.
By Jocko Willink and Leif Babin
If you want to level up in the areas of leadership and radical self-responsibility, this book is an absolute alpha MUST READ.
By Sun Tzu
This book is truly a MUST READ for every alpha, due to the practical and strategic life wisdom that it contains. It’s relevant for combat, business, and any other endeavor that requires you to think through a strategy to achieve victory.
By Robert Augustus Masters
If you’re on a journey to learn how to become a healthy, healed masculine man, then this book is a MUST READ.
I hope that this blog post has helped you to understand the truth about embracing the alpha mentality for real in your life.
A lot of people would like to think of themselves as being alpha, but they don’t want to face some of the uncomfortable truths that I’ve written in this article.
For that reason, it’s really important that you make your alpha transformation real, and that you commit to it on a daily basis.
It’s so easy to give up on the path and go back to the comfort zone, shirking the responsibility to live like a powerful alpha and letting yourself go back to a beta mentality.
Because living as a beta feels easier and more comfortable.
It’s uncomfortable to embrace the alpha mentality—to take full responsibility for your life, and to try to be more than you currently are every single day.
However, this is exactly the kind of discomfort that invites true life transformation.
And to be honest, this is exactly what you need if you want to truly change your destiny in life.
That’s all I’ve got for this one.
I hope you make the decision to follow the steps.
Go with grace, and never give up your power.
This is Joshua K. Sigafus signing off.