How To Get A Girlfriend

How To Get A Girlfriend – 21 Tips For Effective Men

How to get a girlfriend is a pretty big topic to tackle. 

Most men want to win with women.

They want to be sexually successful, achieve the type of relationship status they want, and enjoy the intimacy, friendship, and closeness that comes from having a partner.

Well, in this post, you’re about to learn what it takes.

This is the last post you’ll ever need to read about how to get a girlfriend.

In this post, you’re going to learn:

  • How to get your mentality right.
  • How to get women to like you
  • 21 tips for how to go from single, to dating a hot, beautiful woman fast.

So let’s get to it. 

Tip #1: First, We Need To Talk About Mindset

Some men struggle with learning how to get a girlfriend… while others tend to have a lot of natural game and find it pretty easy.

In any case, it’s vital to understand the mindset behind every truly sexually successful man.

You see, it all goes back to the alpha mentality… to being an effective, high-value man whose minding his business, getting his money, and pursuing his life’s purpose.

This is the alpha male path… and this is the path you will want to follow to truly level up and master your dating skills.

Here are some of the most common dating mentality FAQs that I hear from men when I have this discussion, and the answers are vital to helping you align your mindset for success.

Tip #2: How Can I Get A Girlfriend Easily?


Getting a girlfriend is easy if you’re a high value man.

But in order to become high value, you need to understand one vital human mating-behavior metric.

That women, first and foremost, are looking for effective, strong, powerful, high status men who are pursuing a greater purpose in life.

This type of man is exactly what women are looking for.

But most men fail at this foundational principle by making this one disastrous mistake…

Tip #3: How Can I Make A Girl Fall In Love With Me?

If you want to make a girl fall in love with you, you need to avoid this major mistake.

You need to stop making ‘the girl’ the purpose and mission of your life.

As men, we’re programmed to want sex. It’s literally woven into our evolutionary makeup… and that’s good.

But a woman should never be the object of our focus in life.

Visualize yourself walking toward your purpose in life. Then, visualize beautiful, hot, amazing women choosing to walk beside you.

That’s how it should be. That’s how we succeed.

The type of man who can do this successfully is the type of man women fall in love with.

Tip #4: How Do You Get A Girl to Like You?

To get a girl to like you first, you need to be focusing on the alpha mentality mandate…

  • Mind your business
  • Get your money
  • Pursue your purpose

(We will address these things in greater depth further on in the post.)

What is your purpose in life?

If you haven’t decided this, then you are probably making women the mission.

And that is probably the root of your problem.

Tip #5: Where Can I Find A Girlfriend?

You can find a girlfriend almost anywhere.

You can date online, you can meet women at local events, you can meet them while waiting in line for coffee…

You can even meet them on the street.

But the best way to meet women is as a natural byproduct of organically expanding your social circles.

If you start saying ‘yes’ to social events on a weekly basis, and going out to meet new people without focusing too much on ‘meeting girls…’ You might be surprised at how easy it is to engage in tribal dating… meeting high-value women, developing relationships with them, and then escalating to ask them out on dates.

Tip #6: Look Good

This is pretty generic advice. But really, you just need to be presentable. 

If you’re looking for a classy lady in your life, you need to nail your look and your personal style. 

Don’t walk around looking all grimy and greasy. Put some time, effort, and thought into how you look. It actually does pay to spend some time on this!

It has taken me years to figure out what my own personal sense of style is.

But you see, I’m not very ‘style minded.’

Most men can pick this up a lot faster.

But even so… I spend time making sure that my beard, hair, and clothing looks good before I journey out to meet people.

Just put the effort in, and try to be 1% better every time you go out.  

Tip #7: Mind Your Business

Women are the most attracted to men who are on a mission, who have a purpose… who are committed to something bigger than just wanting to get laid. 

So put real effort into your work. Try to excel. If you have time, start beefing up your resume to get a second job. Even better, start working on a side-hustle or craft. 

I don’t care what job you have… if you’re getting paid by the hour, there is a limit to what you’ll be able to earn. And the only way out of the hourly trap is to start your own hustle. 

Learning a craft or a skill is a fantastic way to get started. For me, it was freelance writing. 

Generate a useful, high-value skill that will make you an asset to someone else… something that not everyone can do. Something that takes months, or years, to master.

Tip #8: Be Passionate About Something

High value women admire men who are passionate about something

So figure out what it is, pursue it to the best of your ability, and make it a primary focus. 

My purpose in life is to help men and women to level up their attraction, improve their dating lives, and embrace the alpha mentality.

This is why I blog, podcast, and publish YouTube videos literally almost every single day.

If your focus is all about chasing women, it might work to get laid once in a while… but women of substance are going to see through that pretty quickly, and they’ll grow uninterested in it.

You take on new depth as a man when you start pursuing something bigger than yourself.  

Tip #9: Start Gettin Some Money

This is a tip that many men don’t take seriously enough. 

If you want to land a beautiful, high value girlfriend, you need to have some kind of resource potential. You need to bring something of value to the table. 

Besides, women tend to be a lot more attracted to men who earn more than they do! 

But even more than this, they want a man who has potential… who is growing his own kingdom and empire

Women are turned on by men on a mission, with a purpose… who also have big plans and big goals. 

Remember, she doesn’t want to be the mission. She wants to join an amazing man and walk beside him as his queen.

Sure, you can score a girlfriend if you live in your momma’s basement. But that girl is going to be reserved in her respect for you until you get your own place, your own car, and your own money. 

Tip #10: Start Being More Social

Today, I stopped by the convenient store to get an energy drink… and this girl behind the counter had a tattoo on her arm that caught my eye. 

So I asked her what it meant. She seemed a little shy at first, but as she told the story of how she got it in a kitchen, and traded a pair of rims for it when she was 16… I broke up laughing and probably looked at her like she was crazy. 

She laughed back, and there was this moment where we just connected a little bit. Now, I didn’t really hit on her. I didn’t even get her number.

But hey, that is how it starts. If you want to learn how to get a girlfriend, you need to learn how to open up, get other people to open up, and start those positive conversations. 

You need to bring people into your life and make them comfortable. And the foundation of this is being social, and being able to start conversations.

In fact, building a tribe that includes high-value women is one of the least-known secrets to raising your desirability!

You need to be at least a little bit outgoing, even if it scares you… and also be yourself at the same time.

Don’t fake it. Let it be natural.

Tip #11: Be Likeable

Nobody wants to date someone who isn’t likeable… at least to some degree.

But you see, the goal isn’t to be a nice guy.

You do not become truly likeable by being a nice guy. You become truly likeable and respected by being a great man.  

In my life, I strive to always lift other people up. I try to encourage them, compliment what they are doing, ask them about how their lives are going… basically, I love to learn about other people and build them up. 

This makes a difference. It makes people want to be around me more. It makes me the type of person you can relax around… not someone who is going to try to start fights, pick on you, or jab at you while we’re hanging out. 

There is a lot to be said for someone who cultivates kindness! 

If you want to learn how to get a girlfriend… make sure that you are good at cultivating kindness and empathy in your life.

But you also need to have an edge to you…

Tip #12: Learn To Be Dangerously Effective

When I was younger, I used to walk into a room and look to other men for leadership.


Because I was young, inexperienced, and at the lower end of the status hierarchy.

But as I grow older, I realize more and more that when I walk into a room, other men look to me to see how they should act.

Why? What makes the difference?

I’m effective.

When you become an effective man, you cultivate a no-nonsense, dangerous attitude. You learn that sometimes you need to be tough, have grit, and be fierce if you want to win.

The only way to cultivate this is by going out and challenging yourself.

Stand up on your own two feet, and earn your place in the world.

This will teach you how to be effective… and women are seriously drawn to it.

Tip #13: Learn To Draw Healthy Boundaries

As kind as I am in my life, I have zero tolerance for any sort of disrespect or bullshit. 

If you want to spend time with me, I’ll give you a chance and invest in you. I’ll lift you up. I’ll listen to your ideas and I’ll encourage you. 

But if you start disrespecting me, or start getting an attitude with me, especially when you’re in my domain, or disrespecting my tribe while they are trying to spend time with me, I’ll show you immediately that I’m not afraid to cut people out. 

I’m not above telling someone to F&$% off. I’m not above telling someone to leave my house and never come back. 

And I’m certainly not above telling a woman to hit the road for being disrespectful or getting an attitude with me. 

If a girl wants a one-way ticket out of my life, the best way to earn it is to disrespect me, get an attitude, and act unkind when such behavior is uncalled for, just because she’s having some kind of attitude problem or is getting in her feelings over something. 

I’ve got zero tolerance for it, and this policy has served me very well in weeding low-quality men and women out of my life. 

If you want a high value girlfriend, you need to stop entertaining disrespectful humans. Get rid of the people in your life who are just taking up space, and make room for the high-value people. 

Cultivate the kind of home such a woman would feel at-home in. 

Also, get your act together and become a man of high value, not a man who causes drama for other people.

A man who causes drama will never appeal to a woman of high caliber.

Tip #14: Stop Getting In Your Feelings When Women Don’t Respond Like You Want Them To

When we are out there looking for a girlfriend, we need to understand that we are going to go on multiple dates, be texting multiple women, be hitting on multiple women, etc. 

And we need to understand that some of these women are not going to be interested in us.

When learning how to get a girlfriend, this is a vital thing to understand.

It’s all part of the game. 

But some men get in their feelings about these things. They start getting low-key mad or salty at a woman because she slept with someone else, is texting someone else, didn’t text them back, etc. 

Hey, if she doesn’t act interested, she probably isn’t interested. Don’t double text her. Don’t make passive aggressive comments (passive-aggressive behavior is for cowards… 100%. Don’t call yourself an alpha male and pull that shit. Real alpha males have no tolerance for that tongue-in-cheek nonsense).

Don’t make yourself look like a clingy fool by getting all riled up by her. 

Just walk away. Start hanging with some new girls! 

If you’re saying “but I don’t know any new girls,” well, that’s your problem! Get out there and meet some! 

You have to be social if you want to crush it with women. That’s just the bottom line. 

Tip #15: Be Willing To Play Hard To Get

Ok, this heading was a little bit misleading.


Because you won’t actually need to ‘play’ hard to get if you’re a high value man who is focused on your mission in life.

I’m going to let you in on a secret.

Women who are interested in you want the validation of your attention

And if you give them that validation right away (chase them, make them the mission, focus on them too much, etc.), they’re going to be satisfied and move on. They are going to lose interest in you, and they are going to start channeling their resources to other men who are less willing to validate them


You DO NOT want to be easy to get.

Because being ‘easy to get’ gives you a massive low-value marker.

High value women do not want an easy man.

They want a man of value. And a man of value will have plenty of options, and will get to have his pick of the hottest women.

And no matter what you may think… women want that kind of man.

That’s how women are. That’s how they operate. 

I’ve met so many men who’ve said this to me. 

“I don’t want to play mind games. I just want to find a nice girl and have her like me.” 

Well, with all kindness and due respect, and out of a sheer desire to see you succeed, I must be real with you and tell you the truth… that if you want to win with women, you need to be focusing on your purpose.

Men who chase women and get desperate often end up settling for low-value partners.

9 times out of 10, men with this attitude settle for women who are not high in value. And they end up much less than satisfied or happy with their lives.

Straight facts. 

If we want high value, beautiful, top-notch women, we need to learn to increase our game. We need to be top notch men

That’s as clear as it gets. 

So be willing to learn how to game. Be willing to learn about women. Be willing to learn the skills of seduction, attraction, flirting, and how to get quality women to chase you instead

But even more importantly – learn how to become a high value man.

It’s all out there. You can find a lot of it in my blog!

It’s all free. You just need to be willing to learn and put in the time. 

Tip #16: Don’t Be Too Eager To ‘Define The Relationship’

Once you have approached a girl, gotten her number, and scheduled a date, it’s time to start evaluating whether or not this girl is going to be a good match for you. 

But whatever you do, don’t get needy or clingy at this stage! 

Some men, suspecting that they might have just found the perfect girl for them, blow it at this stage by laying all of their cards out on the table. 

They will start to act like they are in a relationship already, or confess how crazy they are for her, all at once.

Trust me. I’ve done this before, and it sucks! 

You might be really happy that you’ve found a cool girl, but your work isn’t over yet! 

Now, you need to court her and learn about her while still keeping up the mystery and maintaining a bit of distance

If you start talking about making it official right now, or anywhere close to right now, you are going to come off to her as being clingy. 

Always… ALWAYS… follow this rule.

The man should NEVER be the one to initiate the ‘define the relationship’ talk.

I mean, why would a powerful, effective alpha male, who has access to many high value women, want to jump right into settling down?

The truth is that he wouldn’t!

Being willing to wait, play it out, and date for a while before committing will send powerful signals to high value women. That you are the type of man who is worth waiting for!

Tip #17: Be Dependable And Reliable

Being attractive, good looking, and learning about seduction is one thing. 

That is part of the process. 

And of course, learning to game, pick-up, and flirt with women is also a very good thing to know.

These are attraction skills, and as alpha men, we do want to master them.

But as a man, you also want to be dependable and reliable. These are the types of qualities that separate the man she just fucks for fun, and the man she has interest in actually settling down with. 

Of course, as alpha males, we want to be both of these things. And to be fair, this comes naturally for us on the alpha male journey. 

But to say it is one thing… and to do it is another. 

Many men get lost in their ‘feelings’ about things. Many men get ‘confused’ when their emotions flutter up and cause their heads to swim. 

This is why men cheat. This is why men act wishy-washy, and don’t understand what they truly want.

This is why so many men cannot seem to be reliable. Being dependable and reliable is a definite high value marker of an alpha male man. 

Do not commit to anything you are not willing to stand behind. To commit, to give your word, should be sacred to you. 

So watch your words and your actions, and be the type of man whom others can rely on. 

Tip #18: Constantly Be Leveling Up – Mind, Body, And Spirit

Self development is non-negotiable for a true alpha male.

As a high value man, you should constantly be leveling up and bettering yourself.

Check out this post about how to be a better man.

Listen to audio books, hit the gym, and cultivate some kind of spirituality in your life.

These things are important.

Make your life sacred.

Be effective.

Always make sure that you are 1% better today than you were yesterday.

Tip #19: Remember That It’s Easy to Overthink When Learning How To Get A Girlfriend

I’ll be honest with you.

There’s a LOT of information out there, and it’s easy to get overloaded.

But if you stick with the basics, you’ll succeed.


  • Become a high value man
  • Expand your social circles
  • Level up your dating skills
  • Execute, take chances, and win

Tip #20: Be Authentic

When I first started learning about pickup, I thought that I needed to ‘change myself’ to become this ‘hot guy’ that all the women would want.

But in all honesty, I was really wrong about that.

The truth of the matter is that I needed to learn how to become a powerful, high-status version of myself.

You need to leverage your true self with alpha-mentality traits.

You need to become effective… the kind of man who produces powerful results in life.

The kind of man who wins because he refuses to lose.

Tip #21: Remember That Women Are Not The Enemy

Some men get really bitter about women and not being able to get a girlfriend.

Some men even come to hate women.

But this is not the true alpha male way.

Powerful, learned men understand that men and women make up two equal, important parts of the human race.

They are beautiful. They’re extraordinary.

They’re life-givers. They’re the ones who bear children… they are the gatekeepers of the species.

But… they are different. And they are not perfect.

And guess what? Neither are you or I.

So we all need to work together. Women are not the enemy.

The only person who can defeat you or keep you from succeeding with women is YOU.

In Conclusion

Hopefully this post has been helpful.

The good news is that getting a girlfriend isn’t rocket science!

You just need to level up and become a high value man.

Learn to pursue your purpose in life, but also to cultivate attraction at the same time.

Flirt with the women you meet along on your journey, and don’t be afraid to shoot your shot.

Above all, be your true, authentic self. Become a high value version of you!

That is the best thing you could possibly ever do while pursing the knowledge of how to get a girlfriend!

Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.

Until next time…

Joshua K. Sigafus

Gain Free, COMPLETE ACCESS to my Dating Mastermind Tribe for the first month.

This is a dating level-up program that works on your terms, designed for REAL PEOPLE who don't have time to mess around or play games.

Share this post

Share on facebook
Share on google
Share on twitter
Share on linkedin
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

Ladies And Gentlemen...

I Have One Simple question for you...

Are You Absolutely THRILLED With Your Dating Life?

I Want To Help You Unlock The Secret To A THRIVING, PASSIONATE, EXCITING Dating Life!

Want to know the secret? It all starts with your MINDSET

As a gift for stopping by, I'm going to give you my FREE Dating Mindset Cheat Sheet!

Sign up for my email list to learn the 3 Simple Mindset Shifts that revolutionized my dating life!