How to get a girlfriend is a pretty big topic to tackle.
Honestly, I could write an entire book on everything I’ve learned about this over the years.
If there is one thing that I’ve always come-by naturally, it is getting girlfriends.
Even when I was younger and didn’t really know what I was doing, I was hardly ever single after my 18th birthday.
And over the course of my life, I’ve come to understand what it takes for a man to acquire a ‘high value’ girlfriend a great deal.
So in this post, I’m going to give it to you straight. 11 of my best tips for how to be the type of man who successfully achieve relationship with beautiful, high value woman.
These tips are not specific to just sleeping with women. These, in my mind, are tips that are also incredibly important to keeping a woman.
Now, keep in mind that these are not the only good tips you need for getting a girlfriend.
But these are 11 of the most essential pieces of advice that, in my opinion, most men neglect, forget, or fail to understand.
So let’s get to it.
Tip #1: Look Good
This is pretty generic advice. But really, you just need to be presentable.
If you’re looking for a classy lady in your life, you need to nail your look and your personal style.
Don’t walk around looking all grimy and greasy. Put some time, effort, and thought into how you look. It actually does pay to spend some time on this!
Tip #2: Mind Your Business
Women are the most attracted to men who are on a mission, who have a purpose… who are committed to something bigger than just wanting to get laid.
So put real effort into your work. Try to excel. If you have time, start beefing up your resume to get a second job. Even better, start working on a side-hustle or craft.
I don’t care what job you have… if you’re getting paid by the hour, there is a limit to what you’ll be able to earn. And the only way out of the hourly trap is to start your own hustle.
Learning a craft or a skill is a fantastic way to get started. For me, it was freelance writing.
Generate a useful skill that will make you an asset to someone else… something that not everyone can do. Something that takes months, or years, to master.
Tip #3: Be Passionate About Something
High value women admire men who are passionate about something.
So figure out what it is, pursue it to the best of your ability, and make it a primary focus.
If your focus is all about chasing women, it might work to get laid… but women of substance are going to see through that pretty quickly, and they’ll grow uninterested in it.
Tip #4: Start Gettin Some Money
This is a tip that many men don’t take seriously enough.
If you want to land a beautiful, high value girlfriend, you need to have some kind of resource potential. You need to bring something of value to the table.
Besides, women tend to be a lot more attracted to men who earn more than they do!
But even more than this, they want a man who has potential… who is growing his own kingdom and empire.
Women are turned on by men on a mission, with a purpose… who also have big plans and big goals.
Sure, you can score a girlfriend if you live in your momma’s basement. But that girl is going to be reserved in her respect for you until you get your own place, your own car, and your own money.
Tip #5: Start Being More Social
Today, I stopped by the convenient store to get an energy drink… and this girl behind the counter had a tattoo on her arm that caught my eye.
So I asked her what it meant. She seemed a little shy at first, but as she told the story of how she got it in a kitchen, and traded a pair of rims for it when she was 16… I broke up laughing and probably looked at her like she was crazy.
She laughed back, and there was this moment where we just connected a little bit. Now, I didn’t really hit on her. I didn’t even get her number.
But hey, that is how it starts. If you want to learn how to get a girlfriend, you need to learn how to open up, get other people to open up, and start those positive conversations.
You need to bring people into your life and make them comfortable. And the foundation of this is being social, and being able to start conversations.
In fact, building a tribe that includes high value women is one of the least-known secrets to raising your desirability!
You need to be at least a little bit outgoing, even if it scares you… and also be yourself at the same time!
Don’t fake it. Let it be natural.
Step #6: Be Likeable
Nobody wants to date someone who isn’t likeable.
In my life, I strive to always lift other people up. I try to encourage them, compliment what they are doing, ask them about how their lives are going… basically, I love to learn about other people and build them up.
And I think this makes a difference. It makes people want to be around me more. It makes me the type of person you can relax around… not someone who is going to try to start fights, pick on you, or jab at you while we’re hanging out.
There is a lot to be said for someone who cultivates kindness!
But you also need to have an edge to you…
Step #7: Learn To Draw Healthy Boundaries
As kind as I am in my life, I have zero tolerance for any sort of disrespect or bullshit.
If you want to spend time with me, I’ll give you a chance and invest in you. I’ll lift you up. I’ll listen to your ideas and I’ll encourage you.
But if you start disrespecting me, or start getting an attitude with me, especially when you’re in my domain, or disrespecting my tribe while they are trying to spend time with me, I’ll show you immediately that I’m not afraid to cut people out.
I’m not above telling someone to F&$% off. I’m not above telling someone to leave my house and never come back.
And I’m certainly not above telling a woman to hit the road for being disrespectful or getting an attitude with me.
If a girl wants a one-way ticket out of my life, the best way to earn it is to disrespect me, get an attitude, and act unkind when such behavior is uncalled for, just because she’s having some kind of attitude problem or is getting in her feelings over something she doesn’t need to be getting into her feelings about.
I’ve got zero tolerance for it, and this policy has served me very well in weeding low-quality women out of my life.
If you want a high value girlfriend, you need to stop entertaining disrespectful humans. Get rid of the people in your life who are just taking up space, and make room for the high-value people.
Cultivate the kind of home such a woman would feel at-home in.
Also, get your act together and become a man of high value, not a man who causes drama for other people.
A man who causes drama will never appeal to a woman of high caliber.
Step #8: Stop Getting In Your Feelings When Women Don’t Respond Like You Want Them To
When we are out there looking for a girlfriend, we need to understand that we are going to go on multiple dates, be texting multiple women, be hitting on multiple women, etc.
And we need to understand that some of these women are not going to be interested in us.
And that is totally fine!
That’s all part of the game.
But some men get in their feelings about these things. They start getting low-key mad or salty at a woman because she slept with someone else, is texting someone else, didn’t text them back, etc.
Hey, if she doesn’t act interested, she probably isn’t interested. Don’t double text her. Don’t make passive aggressive comments (passive-aggressive behavior is for cowards… 100%. Don’t call yourself an alpha male and pull that shit. Real alpha males have no tolerance for that tongue-in-cheek nonsense).
Don’t make yourself look like a clingy fool by getting all riled up by her.
Just walk away. Start hanging with some new girls!
If you’re saying “but I don’t know any new girls,” well, that’s your problem! Get out there and meet some!
You have to be social if you want to crush it with women. That’s just the bottom line.
Step #9: Be Willing To Play Hard To Get
If you’re not willing to play hard to get, you’re going to start losing the high-value women before you even get a chance with them.
Because women who are interested in you want your validation.
And if you give them that validation right away, they’re going to be satisfied and move on. They are going to lose interest in you, and they are going to start channeling their resources to other men who are less willing to validate them.
You are going to seem easy to them. And high value women do not want an easy man.
That’s how women are. That’s how they operate.
I’ve met so many men who’ve said this to me.
“I don’t want to play mind games. I just want to find a nice girl and have her like me.”
Well, with all kindness and due respect, and out of a sheer desire to see you succeed, I must be real with you and tell you the truth… you’re acting lazy when you just leave it to fate like this.
And you’re going to end up settling for less than you deserve with that kind of attitude.
9 times out of 10, men with this attitude settle for women who are not high in value. And they end up much less than satisfied or happy with their lives.
If we want high value, beautiful, top-notch women, we need to learn to increase our game. We need to be top notch men.
That’s as clear as it gets.
It’s all out there. You can find a lot of it in my blog!
It’s all free. You just need to be willing to learn and put in the time.
Step #10: Don’t Be Too Eager To ‘Define The Relationship’
Once you have approached a girl, gotten her number, and scheduled a date, it’s time to start evaluating whether or not this girl is going to be a good match for you.
But whatever you do, don’t get needy or clingy at this stage!
Some men, suspecting that they might have just found the perfect girl for them, blow it at this stage by laying all of their cards out on the table.
They will start to act like they are in a relationship already, or confess how crazy they are for her, all at once.
Trust me. I’ve done this before, and it sucks!
You might be really happy that you’ve found a cool girl, but your work isn’t over yet!
Now, you need to court her and learn about her while still keeping up the mystery and maintaining a bit of distance.
If you start talking about making it official right now, or anywhere close to right now, you are going to come off to her as being clingy.
I mean, why would a powerful, effective alpha male, who has access to many high value women, want to jump right into settling down?
The truth is that he wouldn’t!
Being willing to wait, play it out, and date for a while before committing will send powerful signals to high value women. That you are the type of man who is worth waiting for!
Step #11: Be Dependable And Reliable
Being attractive, good looking, and learning about seduction is one thing.
That is part of the process.
And of course, learning to game, pick-up, and flirt with women is also a very good thing to know.
These are attraction skills, and as alpha men, we do want to master them.
But as a man, you also want to be dependable and reliable. These are the types of qualities that separate the man she just fucks for fun, and the man she has interest in actually settling down with.
Of course, as alpha males, we want to be both of these things. And to be fair, this comes naturally for us on the alpha male journey.
But to say it is one thing… and to do it is another.
Many men get lost in their ‘feelings’ about things. Many men get ‘confused’ when their emotions flutter up and cause their heads to swim.
This is why men cheat. This is why men act wishy-washy, and don’t understand what they truly want.
This is why so many men cannot seem to be reliable. Being dependable and reliable is a definite marker of an alpha male man.
Do not commit to anything you are not willing to stand behind. To commit, to give your word, should be sacred to you.
So watch your words and your actions, and be the type of man whom others can rely on.
Hopefully this post has been helpful.
The good news is that getting a girlfriend isn’t rocket science!
You just need to level up and become a high value man.
Learn to pursue your purpose in life, but also to cultivate attraction at the same time.
Flirt with the women you meet along on your journey, and don’t be afraid to shoot your shot.
Above all, be your true, authentic self. Become a high value version of you!
That is the best thing you could possibly ever do!
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus