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how to get any girl you want

How To Get Any Girl You Want – The 24 Most Important Factors

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As a man, you may be tired of feeling like you never have power over your dating life. 

You want to level up your attraction and dating skills, and gain the ability to attract beautiful women and get dates. You want to learn how to get any girl you want! 

Well, first off, I’m going to drop a truth bomb on you. 

This is the honest truth:

If anyone tells you that their method will give you the power to get any girl you want, 100% of the time, without fail… they are straight-up lying to your face. 

Attraction and dating doesn’t work that way. There is no 100% guarantees. There will always be other variables at play that you may not be able to change.

And that’s ok!

With that being said, you can do a lot to help yourself.

You can do a lot to increase your odds and get better at attraction skills, so that when you do meet a woman you are interested in—you stand a much better chance of getting that date!

And in my experience, if you work hard on all of these 24 things, you will dramatically increase your odds of being able to attract the kinds of women you actually want to spend time with and date!

It’s not rocket science. But it is dating science! 

The 23 Most Important Factors For How To Get Any Girl You Want

Working on each of these things, and leveling them up in your life, will make a huge difference in your life, and help you to dramatically revolutionize your dating and sex life. 

There is no such thing as a 100% guaranteed method. But each of these things will help.

So let’s get to work. 

Here are the 24 factors you need to be leveling-up in your life to start revolutionizing your attraction, giving you the ability to attract, seduce, and score awesome dates with the types of women you actually want to be dating!

1. Take Responsibility For Yourself, And Act More Responsibly

Jordan Peterson talks about this topic at great length in his book 12 Rules For Life: An Antidote To Chaos.

He often talks about cleaning your room as a metaphor for taking control of your life and putting it in order. 

But even more than that, your room is a small piece of the rest of the world – a place of infinite potential.

And in that sense, your room is not so different from your life. A small piece of the world, with infinite potential. 

When you wake up in the morning, sit down and plan some things out. 

Figure out what you need to do today to keep your life on track. 

Make a plan to pay your bills. Show up to work on time. Show up to appointments on time. 

Figure out how much money you have available, and don’t overspend it. 

Create a budget and a to-do list!

Also, work on your car and living space. I often say that the state of your car, bedroom, and/or office is the state of your life!

In other words – clean your damn room and start acting responsibly!

2. Figure Out Your Purpose In Life, And Start Chasing It

I’ve talked a lot about purpose on this site. You can find my post on finding your purpose here

This is the thing you need to understand about attraction and purpose. 

A man who doesn’t have a purpose in life is like a man without a compass. He doesn’t know where he is going, and so he is much more likely to drift listlessly in life. 

Women adapted to identify men who have a purpose, because those are the types of men who get things done and cause positive change in the world. 

So finding your life purpose and pursuing it is a very important part if the process of leveling up your attraction, because it will send a powerful signal to potential mates:

I have a purpose. I have a vision. And I’m brave enough and resourceful enough to pursue it.

That makes you a much higher-value man!  

3. Start Leveling Up A Skill Or A Side Hustle Outside Of Your Normal Job

When we go to a job every day, go through the motions, punch the time-clock, and then just go home and goof off for the rest of the day, we sent out a certain number of attraction markers. 

But a man who levels up a skill outside of his job, or works to level up a skill to take greater control of his financial destiny, is going to get much better markers than the man who is just content to coast. 


Because that industrious shows potential partners that you are on your game, striving to learn, working on leveling up, and bettering yourself. 

Obviously, work ethic is important at your job as well as in your side hustle.

But I want to see men learning skills and starting side hustles after work, so that they can take greater control of their financial destiny and create a better, more profitable future for themselves. 

4. Start Leveling Up Your Money And Earn More

A man who is industrious and capable of producing adequate resources also gets many evolutionary high-value markers—and this can lead into leveing up into how to get any girl you want on the dating marketplace. 

Check out this post to learn why wealth building is important to the alpha journey!

Women notice many things about men. And they definitely notice when a man is capable of generating wealth. 

It sends her a signal. He could provide for me and my young, and help us to survive. 

This instinct, though primitive, is quite alive and well in women today, and it is definitely a high-value marker. 

Men, there is just no getting around it. Wealth creation is an undeniable tenant of the alpha mindset.

And we need to be cultivating better and better wealth in our lives… for ourselves, our tribe, and our families. 

And as a side effect, this also makes us much more attractive!

5. Start Validating Yourself – Stop Looking For Your Self-Worth In Women

When I was younger, I struggled with this one a lot. 

If I didn’t have a woman’s love, I felt unlovable and worthless. 

But I overcame this – and it is so important that we all overcome it!

You cannot control if other people like you or not. And so, learning to self validate is such an essential skill.

And when it comes to attraction, women love men who self-validate.


Because self-validation is an undeniable strength and asset to the man and his partner.

She won’t have to hold your hand to make you feel good. She can, instead, enjoy the organic chemistry with you while understanding that you have the capability of making yourself happy – and that is so powerful and attractive!

6. Level Up Your Alpha Confidence

The importance of confidence cannot be overstated. This is something that you must develop in your life if you wish to win on the dating marketplace and succeed with women. 

Here’s the thing. Women are finely attuned to noticing confidence in men because it is a strong indicator of competence. 

So when you act confident, you send all the correct signals—that you are the kind of man she can trust and rely on! 

You display true inner strength.

And that is super attractive!

7. Want To Really Level Up And Learn How To Get Any Girl You Want? Start Working Out And Watching What You Eat

start working out

In my mid-20s, I gained a lot of weight around my midsection. And I just didn’t look good. 

As a result, I struggled to get the attention of beautiful women! 

Why? Because there are plenty of men with great bodies to choose from!

When I started getting into better shape, however, I quickly noticed a shift. 

These beautiful women started looking at me differently!

A healthy body is important! I work out every day, do a certain number of push-ups, and observe an intermittent fasting schedule.

What are you doing to improve your body? And is it getting results?

There is no doubt about it—women have adapted to notice men with great bodies. You can read more about the ideal male physique, and the science behind physical attraction, in this post which I wrote for

8. Start Dressing Better

This is another thing I used to be really bad at. 

I had no sense of style. I had no idea how to dress well. 

As men, we need to put some time and effort into our personal style. 

If you don’t have a ton of cash, start hitting those thrift stores!

If you aren’t good at figuring out what to wear, take a look at They give some great fashion advice on that site!

There are ways to build up your wardrobe and look nicer without spending a ton of money. 

The most important thing, though, is that you make a focused effort to level-up your style!

9. Stand Out – Become The Hardest Working, Best Man In The Room

hardest working man in the room

So many men are unmotivated in our modern world. They struggle to develop a sense of pride in their work ethic and industriousness. 

Whenever I am in a room, I strive to be the best man in that room. 

What does that mean, exactly?

It means that in the weeks leading up to me being in that room with other men, I was focused intently on being as successful as possible. 

I was hustling up new writing projects. 

I was publishing blog posts, videos, and podcasts. 

I was working harder than anyone to leave my mark on the world, and create real value for my audience. 

You will never be the best at everything. But you can control how much effort you put into yourself and your business every day.

This is such a good habit to get into! Work hard, hustle, and stand out through your achievements. 

Women love this type of man! He is the holy grail of men, because he has his life together and is working hard every day to win his battles. 

10. Level Up Your Ambition And Your Hunger For Success

This ties in very closely to number 9. 

I want to see men hungry for success. 

One of my favorite quotes of all time is by one of my favorite thought mentors, Dwayne Johnson. 

“The road to success and greatness is always paved with consistent hard work. Outwork your competitors, be authentic and above all else… chase your greatness.”

Dwayne Johnson

What are you doing today to chase greatness? How lofty are your goals?

Never forget that 1% goals require 1% work!

If you want to accomplish great things, you need to work like nobody else is willing to work!

And in turn, this also makes you so sexy with the ladies!

I’m telling you from experience—women really dig a man who digs into his goals and works hard to achieve them. 

11. Develop Yourself Socially, And Play To Your Social Strengths

It is very important that we constantly level-up socially. 

Not too long ago, I noticed in my videos that my eye-contact was a bit weaker than it needed to be. 

So I made a note of it and started practicing it. 

Every day, as I when went about my business, I would make a conscious effort to level up my eye contact. 

And over time, I started to build better habits—and this small element of my social toolbox started to improve. 

This is an example of how I strive to level up my social skills on a regular basis. 

Here’s the thing. 

Women care about social skills. They find it very attractive when a man can handle himself well in social situations. 

It is also important to play to your strengths. 

Maybe you’re not much of a public speaker. Maybe you do better in small groups, or in one-on-one settings. 

There’s nothing wrong with that, as long as you are constantly striving to level up your social skills and make them better!

12. Start Climbing The Ranks In Your Local Social Dominance Hierarchies

This ties into the mandate of alpha mentality and leadership. 

At work, at school, among your friends, in your family—in all of these settings, you occupy a certain place in the social dominance hierarchy. 

Women see men at the top of dominance hierarchies as being the most attractive


Because being ‘the man in charge’ shows that you have status and power—even if it is just among friends, at church, or at small networking meetings. 

How do you climb these ranks and become a true leader in your social dominance hierarchies? Well, it starts by developing a spirit of true leadership. 

13. Adopt A True Leadership Mentality

A leadership mentality requires you to adopt, and pursue, many different values and principles. 

Check out this post to learn the 21 leadership qualities that matter most. 

And start cultivating these values and qualities into your life on a daily basis. 

Strive to bring more value to the other humans around you. 

Be quick to protect, to help, to serve, to draw healthy boundaries, and to work for the betterment of the group. 

Do these things, and you will start to see what true leadership really is. You will also see how attractive it is to women when men display strong leadership qualities. 

Women aren’t inherently attracted to weak men. They want strong, leadership-focused, effective men. 

14. Learn How To Approach A Woman

You can be the most successful, best-looking, highest-paid, most talented man in the world. 

All of that is great. 

But if you don’t learn how to approach women, you are going to flounder in the dating marketplace. 

Check out this video, where I explain how to approach women. This is part of my free Force of Attraction dating course series, and will give you enough information to get started.

You can also keep watching my videos and checking back to visit my blog.

But most importantly—practice!

Start approaching women and engaging with them. 

You can read and watch videos all day long. But the best way to level up is to take that knowledge about into the real dating marketplace and start testing it for yourself!

15. Learn How To Engage Like A True Alpha Male

Learning how to engage with women is very important. This plays toward our social proof, and when women see that engagement with us feels natural, pleasurable, and non-weird, it really plays to our advantage. 

Watch my free video episode on how to engage with women.

Also keep watching for other great YouTubers, bloggers, and writers who can teach you how to level-up your engagement game. 

A great book on pickup and game that really changed my life was Kezia Noble’s The Noble Art of Seducing Women: My Foolproof Guide to Pulling Any Woman You Want.

That book taught me so much about how to properly engage with women, and I definitely recommend that you check it out! 

16. Learn How To Sexually Escalate

Sexual escalation is a difficult thing for some men. 

On one hand, some men are afraid to sexually escalate with women. 

On the other, some men are too aggressive, and it ruins their chances!

But here’s the thing. 

You NEED to be good at sexual escalation. If you don’t learn to master this vital skill, you are going to leave countless awesome dates and possibilities on the table!

Check out my video on sexual escalation, and how to do it properly. 

Also, get out there and practice!

Dip your toes in and experiment!

There is truly no substitute for trial and error! Just be careful not to do anything to make anyone too uncomfortable, and always be mindful of her body language to make sure that what you are doing is wanted and consensual. 

17. Stop Pining After Women And Prioritize Personal Greatness In Your Own Life

I follow Rich Cooper on YouTube, and I think he does a great job of explaining ‘oneitis’ and how to get over it!

There is nothing as destructive to your odds of success on the dating marketplace as the act of pining after one woman because you believe that she is ‘the one.’

I’m going to drop some knowledge on you right now. 

There is no such thing as ‘the one.’ 

Everyone is out for themselves. And you are either going to be wise and invest your time into someone who returns value, or you are going to waste your time on someone who isn’t going to return value. 

Pining after a woman who isn’t returning your effort is an unwise use of your time: and the faster you figure this out and stop chasing women who aren’t returning your same level of effort, the more attractive you will become, and the better your dating life will get. 

18. Act Your Age, And Fit In – To A Point

One thing that really hurts a man’s chances on the dating marketplace is when he doesn’t act his age. 

And what I mean by that is this. 

Young men, don’t try to act older than you are. Your lack of life experience will show. Don’t try to act older – just be yourself.  

Instead, play to your strengths. Be young. Be wild. Be carefree. 

Older men, don’t try to act younger than you are. Step into your age. Stop dressing and acting like men 10, 20, or 30 years younger than you.

Your age is not a detriment. Older men are very sexy. You probably have more money, life experience, and wisdom.

Play to those strengths—while also remaining genuine and being true to yourself. 

I also think that men stand their best chances in the dating marketplace when they dress their own age. 

So embrace your age, whatever it is, and accept it. Play to those strengths, and work every day to be the finest man in that age group. 

19. Develop Stability And Dependability In Your Life

As we get older, it is imperative that we cultivate stability and dependability in life. 

Women may seem like they don’t care about material possessions. But they are absolutely concerned with their future stability and security. 

Are you headed toward a place of stability in your life?

Are you cultivating a life where you will have a secure roof over your head, a dependable car in the driveway, the means to take care of your own bills and build up your own wealth, and a plan for a comfortable retirement?

These are very attractive things to high-value women, especially as they start to get a little older and get past the partying phase. 

Develop these awesome things for yourself. And as a side effect, you will find that women will REALLY dig your ability to create stability in this unstable, chaotic world!

What if stability/dependability doesn’t matter to her?

If she isn’t the kind of woman who can recognize real value when she sees it, then she is probably not the kind of lady you want in your life anyway! 

20. Practice Wisdom In Your Life, And Learn To Be A Critical Thinker

Wisdom is such an important attribute for men, and it makes them much more attractive to high value women. 

If you want to cultivate wisdom in your life, I recommend picking up a copy of The Art of War, by Sun Tzu, and reading it over and over again until you become very familiar with the concepts. 

It is all about strategy and was foundational in teaching me the importance of critical thinking. 

21. Cultivate Kindness And Respect

Check out this post to learn some of the valuable advantages of being kind. 

Kindness and respect are so important to the alpha mindset. In fact, while some people mistakenly believe that kindness is a weakness, it is actually a great alpha male strength!

If you can learn to draw healthy boundaries as a man, while also deploying kindness and respect effectively in your relationships, you will begin to see how truly effective these strengths are for leveling up not only your life, but also your attraction. 

22. Draw And Maintain Healthy Boundaries In Your Life

It is very important that you stand up for yourself in life. 

Some men fall into the habit of just taking abuse and bad treatment from anyone, because they don’t want to make waves or cause problems. 

But in my life, when someone else makes a problem, I make it a point to stand up to them and make sure that they understand that such a thing won’t be tolerated around me. 

They can either act right, or they can do whatever it was they wanted to do without my involvement, because I will walk away. 

My life is too valuable, and my time too important, to put up with anyone around me acting in some goofy kind of way that undermines progress, wisdom, or success. 

Drawing strong boundaries also makes men more attractive to women, and plays a huge part in commanding respect in life in general.

If a woman doesn’t respect you as a man, I guarantee that she is not going to want to sleep with you!

And if you don’t draw and maintain healthy boundaries in your life, your dating life will invariably suffer as a result. 

23. Be Willing To Share Resources With The Woman You Are Seriously Interested In – But ONLY If You Are 100% Willing To Get Nothing In Return

Some men think that they can buy their way into a woman’s bed by paying for her dinner, her drinks, etc. 

But I personally hate this line of thinking, and find that it undermines your efforts as a true alpha male. 

I would rather have men split the bill, and trust in their own merits as a man to gain a woman’s attention. 

Personally, I only offer to pay for a woman’s meal if I am 100% fine with not getting anything in return for it. 

This sends a positive signal. I’m not just trying to get sex out of her, because I’m not a man who is desperate for sex. 

If I want sex, I can get it. Therefore, there is no pressure when I’m out with a lady. To be honest, whether we end up having sex or not is almost irrelevant to me. 

I just love the process. I love to meet new people and see what happens. 

This mindset has made my dating life so much more successful. 

We need to get out of that contractual way of thinning, and level up so that we are strong enough to not be desperate for sex, affection, love, etc. 

24. Always Strive To Be At Least 1% Better Than You Were Yesterday

I’ve been talking about this one a lot lately—because it is so important! 

As powerful alpha men, we need to be focused on leveling up and getting better every day. 

We must be leveling up our mind, our spirit, and our body. 

We need to be minding our business, getting our own money, and pursuing our own purpose in life. 

When we stagnate, we send a strong message to the women around us. 

I am not ambitious enough to have big goals. I do not believe in myself enough to invest extra time into making myself better in the future. I am content just to coast along in life.  

Start making progress every day to become a better version of yourself. 

Even if the only changes you make are small, they will add up to big changes over time. 

This such an important standard. And we must be constantly seeking to uphold it! 

In Conclusion – How To Get Any Girl You Want

There is no way to guarantee that you can get any girl you want.

But if you stick with these 24 powerful factors, and work on leveling all of them up in your life – you will notice that more and more high-value, beautiful women will find you attractive.

Now for the hard part—get to work!

Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.

Until next time:

Joshua K. Sigafus