How to get dates with beautiful women.
This is a question I used to ask a lot as a young man.
I was young and didn’t know how to even start to navigate this landscape.
Maybe you’re struggling to find a date.
Maybe you’re divorced, and just now hitting the dating scene again after years in a relationship.
Maybe you’re just starting out on the alpha male path, and want to start winning with women and increasing the quality of the girls you spend time with.
In any case, this post is for you. If you want to learn how to get dates with beautiful, high-value women, and don’t want to mess around with methods that don’t work… then this 25-step guide is for you.
Let’s get to it.
How To Get Dates: The Core Philosophy
There are many reasons to pursue beautiful women.
Maybe you’re looking for quality sexual partners, a girlfriend, or even a future wife.
Maybe you just love the rush of talking to women, flirting, hitting on them, spending time together, etc.
These are all good reasons to be out dating and meeting new people.
But there is one thing you need to understand about all of this before you get started.
Here is a quote from an incredible book that really helps to nail-down the concept that I’m about to explain.
Women Want High-Quality Men. This Can Only Be Faked To A Certain Extent, And NOT Successfully
This is an excerpt from an incredible book that I have been reading lately. Please take a moment and read it.
This quote does a fantastic job of illustrating one very vital point that many men fail to realize… that if they want to get dates with higher-value women, and level up the quality of women that they are able to attract, then they need to build ‘status,’ in the form of ‘valuable resources’ that will be an accurate measure of both his ‘social status’ and ‘the magnitude of his resources.’
If you really want to understand human mating behavior, you should really read the book this quote comes from. It’s called The Evolution of Desire: Strategies of Human Mating, by David M. Buss.
Now, make no mistake. When the term ‘status’ is used here, along with the term ‘resources,’ that does not necessarily mean power and money.
Those two things are absolutely included… but they are not the only determiners of social status and resources.
The Science Of Human Mating Is Extremely Complex – But You Don’t Need To Be An Expert To Get Better Dates
We could go really deep into the complicated science behind how women have literally evolved to seek these things out in potential mates, to increase their odds of survival, as well as the odds of survival for their children… but it is honestly a pretty complicated thing, and you would be best suited to buy and read the book to get a thorough grip on the subject, rather than gleaning a short version from a blog post.
With that being said, we can still glean evolutionary wisdom and data from this science to put together a list of 25 rock-solid, no-nonsense steps for getting better dates with women.
At the core of the game, gentlemen, is this.
Women want high quality men, and will give preference to men who they deem to be ‘better for their odds of survival.’
But this is a lot more complicated and complex than it sounds!
In other words, women want to have the best life possible… and when it comes to selecting a mate, be it for a one-night stand or for marriage, they are going to evaluate their potential candidates, choose the winner based on a list of conscious and subconscious factors, and then bed the absolute highest-quality man they can gain access to.
The main objective is to level up not just your ‘social status,’ but also your ‘resource potential.’
But this is really tough to fake. And in the end, the real winners… the men who get the highest-quality women, are the men who truly cultivate excellence within themselves and become high-value potential partners.
Whereas, if you are not a ‘high quality enough man’ for her, she will either put you into the alleged ‘friendzone,’ or completely reject you outright.
It is actually super, super simple.
To attract high-value women, you need to become a true high-value man.
Here’s how to do it.
Step 1: Start Getting Your Life Together
Women are attracted to men who display the potential to provide them with something that is better than what they have now.
This can be about money, but it is actually more about potential than anything else.
If you want to start getting dates with beautiful women, it starts before you ever talk to a woman. It starts at home when you wake up in the morning.
Wake up on time. Make your bed. Get your dishes done. Shine your shoes.
Show up to work ten minutes early instead of five minutes late.
Start building a side hustle. Get your bills in order. Balance your budget. Stop wasting time and energy on things that are not going to contribute to a better life.
This is where it all starts. Start getting your life together and getting control of your situation, and great things will start to happen for you.
Step 2: Start Working Out And Getting Into Shape
You don’t have to have the body of a god to attract beautiful women.
But it also doesn’t hurt anything to look as good as possible.
Good health and athleticism is also attractive to women.
So hit the gym. But don’t just do it to get better dates. Do it for yourself, to become the best possible man you have the potential to be.
Step 3: Start Earning More Money
Women are evolutionary programmed to seek out partners and mates who have the resources to take better care of them, to provide a better possible future for them and any children they might have.
And to be honest… the more attractive the woman, the better her prospects will be.
And how much money you make will absolutely be a factor in whether or not you will be able to succeed with women at the top-end of the sexual marketplace.
So start working hard to level-up your money game now, so that down the road, you will have enough wealth to live the life you want… and date the women you want.
Start by excelling at your job. Then, find another better job. Then, start a side hustle. Then, start making investments and making money while you sleep.
Then, start your own business… whatever it is that you want for yourself. Pursue value and your passion, and find a career path that will actually make you some decent money.
Get yourself three or four different income streams bringing cash into your pocket… and you will not believe the difference it will make in your life.
Step 4: Pursue A Purpose Of Your Own
Men who put 100% of their focus on pursuing women and winning with them actually miss the point.
This is like trying to become the best basketball player on the court just by buying new tennis shoes and shooting free-throws all day!
Yes, you need to learn how to get dates with beautiful women and learn game… but if this is all you do, you are going to miss out on a huge piece of the equation.
At the end of the day, you want to build a solid foundation for yourself in your life. And that all starts with purpose.
A true alpha male makes women a valuable addition to his life, not the focal point.
So figure out what your purpose is, and pursue it every day in life.
Ironically, this makes you that much more attractive to women anyway.
Step 5: Rise To A Higher Status In Your Social Groups
Become a leader in the groups that matter to you.
Take a moment to consider all of the social groups that you spend time in… and the people in them who matter to you. Then, think about how you can start becoming more influential and valuable in those groups.
One way that I practice this in life is by choosing to invest my time into people within the group.
Start treating people with greater respect and more kindness. Start showing up for whatever activities you agree to totally prepared. Start investing in people one-on-one.
Start trying to make an actual, meaningful difference to the people around you.
Also, start putting in more effort than anyone else.
These activities will do a lot to help you rise to the top of your social groups.
And the top of a social group is the perfect place to be to get the attention of beautiful, high-value women who spend time in that group.
Step 6: Display Ambition, And Put Your Mission First
Women find it extremely attractive when men are ambitious and have a mission.
So adopt one for yourself, and always put it first.
My business, for example, always comes first. I am committed to my freelance writing business and to my other hustles. I am also committed to this blog.
These are my missions in life. And I know that since I started putting more effort into them and starting putting my mission first, I have gotten far more attention from high-value women.
Women are, by nature, attracted to men with goals and focus.
Step 7: Dress Better
This one is pretty self-explanatory.
Looking good isn’t the most important thing when dealing with women. But avoiding sloppiness is very important!
So do your part to look as good as possible.
Dressing extremely well for your body type, and choosing clothes really well, can level you up an entire level on the 1-10 attraction scale, and could make the difference between scoring with a 6 and scoring with a 7!
Step 8: Start Expanding Your Social Circles
Expanding your social circles is a tremendously important part of learning how to get dates with beautiful women.
If you never meet new girls, you’ll never get the chance to actually get awesome dates.
So start spending time where attractive women are congregating.
Join groups, take classes, go to parties, accept invitations… you’ll never know where you might meet the next attractive, eligible lady.
Step 9: Cultivate Confident, Powerful Body Language
Learn to embody true alpha male body language. Stop acting bashful.
Be confident and believe in yourself!
Look her in the eye as you introduce yourself. Smile at her. Square up your shoulders and walk with confidence.
Keep your head held high. Act like your the star of the show.
Ladies love a man with strong, confident body language.
Step 10: Listen More, And Speak Less
One of the biggest mistakes men make when trying to get dates or win with women is to constantly talk about themselves.
But a close second mistake is simply to talk too much in general.
Focus on her. Listen to her. Pay attention. Ask intelligent questions that require more than yes or no answers.
If she is talking to you, that means you have an invaluable chance to learn from her and listen to her.
Take this opportunity to learn as much as you can, and also just to enjoy her company.
Listen more, and speak less!
Step 11: Strive To Be Dependable And Consistent
Women love a man who is consistent.
But they are also really good at picking up on fake.
So learn to be truly dependable and consistent in your own life.
When you commit to doing something in your business… go through with it.
When you tell your mom that you’ll be there… be there.
When you tell your friends that you’ll make it to that thing… make it.
When you tell yourself that you will put that money into savings… do it.
Show up and be dependable. Let your word be your bond, and develop consistent habits.
These are all little things that you can do on your own that really help to turn you into the kind of man that women go crazy for.
Step 12: Set Healthy Boundaries For Yourself
It is very important that you stay positive, respectful, and kind.
But it is also very important for you not to take any shit from anyone.
Learn to set healthy boundaries.
If someone disrespects you, do not be afraid to engage in healthy confrontation and let them know.
Give them a kind chance to right the wrong they’ve committed against you.
But if they persist, do not be afraid to cut them out.
An alpha’s circle is small, loyal, and respectful.
He doesn’t tolerate bullshit or drama.
This also goes for attractive women.
If you are on a date with a hot woman, and she starts disrespecting you… you have zero business giving her the time of day.
Politely excuse yourself and walk away. If you command excellence in your life, both from yourself and from the people around you, and develop the strength of character to stand for no less… then your life will become excellent.
And that is a huge turn on for women.
Believe it or not, women find it incredibly sexy when a man can respectfully put a misbehaving woman in her place without being mean or rude.
It will make them incredibly attracted to you!
Step 13: Don’t Shy Away From Healthy Conflict
A powerful alpha male knows when to have healthy conflict with people… and women pick up on this.
Women want a man who commands respect. They also want a man who is seen to have authority.
They want a man with the potential to be dangerous, who chooses, instead, to be kind and respectful to the people around him.
And you must learn not to shy away from healthy conflict if you want to be this type of man.
Do not be afraid to call a spade a spade. Don’t be afraid to call out a problem when you see one.
But also, always do it respectfully.
There is great strength in this.
Step 14: Cultivate Kindness And Respect For Others
One of the greatest alpha male lies of all time is that alpha males are actually assholes.
This could not be further from the truth.
Alpha males are actually alpha nurturers.
They know that leaders lift other people up… they do not put others down.
So learn to cultivate kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and respect.
Keep in mind that some of these tips might sound more like tips for just being more successful in life.
But that is the entire point. If you want to learn how to get dates with beautiful women, the entire point is to level yourself up in every category, to chase excellence, and to become a powerful, charismatic alpha male that all women can look up to and admire.
It is all part of one, big, intricate puzzle.
Step 15: Be In Control Of Your Impulses And Emotions
Learn to control your impulses.
This could mean cutting back on sweets, learning to stop impulse spending, watching less porn (a little porn is ok… but too much will really strip you of your vitality), and just adopting better habits.
In other words… all things in moderation. Learn to control yourself!
The same goes for your emotions.
Learn to control your rage.
Learn to get control of your hurt feelings.
Toughen up enough to take some blows without allowing it to affect your mood.
I don’t mean to stuff it down inside, either, and then explode.
If you have actual trouble getting your emotions under control, it is super helpful to see a therapist to learn how to do this properly!
Step 16: Identify And Do Away With Odd Or Irritating Behaviors
Do you have particular behaviors that are just ‘odd,’ that really stand out as ‘unusual?’
This is a fantastic question to ask your female friends about!
If you are lucky, you will have an honest female friend who will tell you if there are things about you that you should change.
Don’t get defensive. Listen to her! This advice is more precious than gold!
This could be the way you talk, a nervous tick, or anything that you do that comes off as distracting.
Listen to constructive criticism, and be thankful for it.
Then, work on changing it.
Then, take your honest female friend out to dinner and treat her to a nice steak… because she earned it!
Step 17: Be Your Own Authentic Self
Stand out. Don’t be ‘generic.’
The world is full of men who are trying to look like that model, or that movie star, or like the other guys on the football team, etc.
Yes, you need to learn what looks good. But also don’t be afraid to do subtle things that are different.
I have a big beard. This isn’t always everyone’s favorite thing… but I love it, and I honestly don’t care if it isn’t something every woman likes.
At the end of the day, you are your own person. So develop and own your own personal sense of style.
Don’t just blend in. Stand out!
Step 18: Stand On Your Own Two Feet – Be Self-Sufficient
Still living off of your parents?
Is your mom still paying for your cell phone?
Is your grandpa still paying your car insurance?
Get out of those things, as quickly as possible!
Learn to stand on your own two feet.
I reached a point in my life where I preferred to be homeless rather than to rely on someone else.
Truth be told, there was one rough point where I spent two weeks sleeping in my car… but I learned a valuable lesson during those weeks.
When I finally got back on my feet, I had so much pride in myself.
I did it all on my own… with nobody’s help.
You cannot imagine how much confidence and pride this gave me… and it was an essential step on the path to becoming an alpha male.
Step 19: Build A Healthy, Thriving Community Around Yourself
One very important thing that every man needs to take into account is that he needs to build a thriving community around himself.
This may mean investing in your family, friends, co-workers, a religious community, etc.
But it also means stepping up and taking a leadership role.
This will not only make you more effective and more valuable in your local community… but as a side-effect, it will also make you much more attractive.
Women are attracted to influential and effective men of power. There is just no getting around it.
Do it for yourself, do it for your community… and do it for the ladies!
Step 20: Level Up Your Attraction And Flirting Game
Read good books to level up your attraction game. Learn about women. Practice in real life by going out and talking to real women.
If you want to learn how to get dates with beautiful women, nothing will teach you as well as experience.
Yes, read some blogs and books and learn. But make sure to spend some time around actual women as well!
Step 21: How To Get Dates With Beautiful Women – Don’t Be Afraid To Shoot Your Shot And Actually Engage
When you finally do end up striking up a conversation with a beautiful girl, do not fall prey to anxiety and pass up your opportunity to ask her out!
Remember this… a true, powerful alpha is completely fine with getting shot down.
There is no shame in this. You must program yourself to be fine with hearing ‘no.’
So take your shot. If she says no, oh well. You tried, and next time you try, you are that much more likely to succeed.
Become a student of learning how to talk with a woman, get numbers, and land dates… and learn by doing!
True alphas don’t get ‘yes’ answers all the time. They just know not to give up or get upset with a ‘no!’
So shoot your shot and go for it.
Don’t go home and regret not being brave enough to ask her out!
Step 22: Level Up Essential Life Skills
Learn to do important things in life.
Learn to change a tire. Learn to check your oil. Learn to do some basic carpentry. Learn to unclog a toilet.
Learn to buy clothes that fit you. Learn to do taxes. Learn to cook some basic dishes.
Learn how to make good coffee. Learn how to play chess, swing-dance, play a musical instrument, and/or anything else that you can find time to learn.
Commit some time every week to leveling up and learning essential life skills.
Not only will this make you a more well-rounded human… it will also be that much more impressive to eligible young women!
Step 23: Take Pride In Chasing Excellence, And Continue To Be The Best Man In The Room
One of my favorite quotes in the world is by Dwayne Johnson… who is one of my most prolific heroes and role models in my life.
Take pride in working hard, being humble, chasing excellence, and trying your very best to always be the hardest working man in the room.
The world is full of lazy men. Don’t be one.
Trust me. Hard work repays you for your effort tenfold.
Laziness never pays off.
Step 24: Decide What You Truly Want Out Of Your Experiences With Women
One of the biggest turn-offs is a man who doesn’t know what he wants.
Don’t be wishy-washy. Don’t let your emotions cloud your judgement.
Decide what you really want, and go after it.
Just want sex? That’s fine. Go after it.
Want a wife? Go after it.
Want to just experiment and see what happens? That’s fine. Go after it.
But make sure you’re doing it for you, and not out of confusion or because you are ‘trying to do the right thing.’
Fuck that. A real alpha man does what he wants. And if he isn’t capable of getting it right now, he works hard for it and eventually achieves it.
Step 25: Be The Ultimate Master Of Your Destiny, And Author Of Your Own Fate
No more excuses. No more complaining.
Embody the true spirit of the alpha male.
If there is a problem, it is your job to make sure it gets fixed.
If you want something to be a certain way, make it so.
If you want to succeed… then do it… by sheer force of hard work and determination.
This is true for anything.
If you want to win with women… then you need to go out and try.
Get better. Get smarter. Get better-looking. Learn, grow, and adapt.
And then, do it.
How To Get Dates: It All Starts By Leveling Yourself Up In These Areas
Men ask all kinds of questions about dating and picking up women.
How do you find a date?
How do I start dating?
How do you date if you’re an introvert?
How do you get a date on Tinder?
These are all extremely valid questions.
But at the end of the day, there is no one-size-fits-all approach to how to get dates with beautiful women.
If you want to build a solid foundation for this goal, and enjoy spending time with high quality women for the rest of your life, then it is absolutely in your best interest to start cultivating excellence in your life now, and level-up to the point where you actually become a high-value male.
Want to learn more? Check out my own alpha male code, the Oath of Kings.
There is no ‘trick’ or way to ‘game the system’ or ‘cheat’ or ‘hack’ your way to being awesome with women.
You should build a solid foundation for yourself, and level up your life to the point where you legitimately become such a high-value male that even the hottest, most high-value women on the market will be eyeballing you as a potential mate.
That’s the whole game. That is literally how you win with women in the long run, the right way, no bullshit or nonsense.
Hopefully this post has given you some value.
Feel free to leave a comment and let me know what you thought!
Stay hungry men. Pursuing women is definitely a worthwhile pursuit.
Just keep leveling up, and you’ll find more success than you ever thought possible.
Go with grace, my friends.
And NEVER… EVER… give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus