This post is for men and women.
Learning how to get someone to love you isn’t an easy task.
I spent years trying to figure this out.
Why did my affection always feel one-sided?
Was I just doomed to always love others more than I was being loved?
The truth of the matter is that it is totally possible to get others to fall in love with you.
But here’s the thing.
You need to understand how attraction and desire work if you want to succeed at it.
Let’s dive in. I’m going to break it down for you.
Can You Make Someone Fall For You?
You can’t make one particular person fall in love with you.
Some people claim to know ‘love hacks’ that will unlock the ‘secrets of desire’ and get anyone you desire to fall in love with you.
But such claims aren’t based in reality.
The truth is a bit different.
You can’t make any individual person fall in love with you, because you cannot control what other people do. But you CAN improve your odds of having people love you and desire you by living your life in such a way as to increase your natural attractive magnetism.
And in this post, you’re going to learn 20 steps you can start taking today to develop true alpha magnetism in your life.
How Can You Make Your Crush Fall In Love With You?
You can’t force your crush to fall in love with you.
And I hate to break it to you, but there isn’t any secret ‘formula’ that guarantees you can make it happen.
But you can start to level up your natural levels of attraction by changing your habits.
I call this process the alpha mentality—and by embracing it, you can step fully into your alpha frame, level up your attraction, increase your desirability, and greatly increase the odds that people in-general will find you attractive and desirable.
How Do You Make Someone Love You? 20 Magnetic Steps
The process of becoming a more desirable man or woman starts long before you actually meet someone.
It starts every morning when you get out of bed.
It starts with how you choose to structure your life, what you do with your time, and where you choose to utilize your energy.
Embracing the alpha mentality is the best way to learn how to get someone to love you. But it doesn’t happen overnight.
This is a process that you must adopt for the rest of your life.
The Basics: Before You Even Meet Someone
1. Let Go Of Your ‘Need’ To Be Loved
Many people face a crippling need to be loved—a strong desire that permeates the rest of their lives with a sense of desperation and sadness.
If you want people to love you, however, this mindset only works against you.
You must focus on letting go of the ‘need’ to be loved.
Ironically, this will make you more lovable—and will help to draw people toward you instead of repelling them.
2. Embrace The Alpha Mentality
The alpha mentality dictates that you take responsibility for your own destiny, and vow to happen to life instead of allowing life to happen to you.
It is an attitude of proactivity, optimism, and self-reliance.
To learn what the alpha mentality truly means, check out this post. That post was written for men, but the 33 alpha personality traits are true for men and for women who wish to embrace the alpha mindset.
3. Start Leveling Up: Mind, Spirit, Body
This is absolutely crucial.
Every day, you should be striving to level up your:
- And Spirit
Level up your mind by reading books, listening to podcasts, learning things, etc.
Level up your body by working out, exercising, eating healthy foods, etc.
Level up your spirit by adopting spiritual practices like meditation, religious traditions, mindfulness, self-awareness, etc.
4. Pursue Your Own Purpose In Life
If you truly want to be ‘lovable’ in this world, you need to create value.
For men and women, this means building wealth, status, power, and an empire.
For women, this means developing beauty cues in addition to those things described above. Also, alpha females are more likely to want an alpha male to walk beside in a joint-purpose.
Looks are important, especially for women. But looks are also vapid… and are more likely to get you ‘laid’ than to cause someone to truly love you and deeply appreciate who you are as a person.
Therefore, rather than pursuing ‘how to get someone to love you’ by only trying to be beautiful, you should be striving to make a meaningful dent in the universe by pursuing your life’s purpose.
Understanding this purpose, and making it the goal of your life makes you more effective—but it also makes you more attractive in the long-term.
5. Build Powerful Habits To Shape Your Own Destiny
I have often heard it said that “you are not what you think or say, you are what you do.”
And I 1000% agree with this.
You can say that you love lifting weights, that you want to be an author, or that you want to solve world hunger.
But if you never actually take action to accomplish these things, you’re going to flounder—and you’ll never make true, meaningful progress.
Once you determine your purpose and set some goals for your life, you need to strive toward those goals by setting effective daily habits that will contribute to their success over time.
This is incredibly important, and is a definite requirement if you truly want to leave a lasting legacy in the world.
Self-development and mindset are where attraction starts.
But eventually, you’ll need to take steps to meet people.
This is good. Expanding your social circles helps you to make a bigger dent in the universe, and empowers you to make a greater positive impact in other people’s lives.
But as a side effect, it also makes you more likely to come into contact with the types of people who are going to love and desire you for who you are.
Here are some crucial steps to take to facilitate this important part of the process.
6. Expand Your Social Circles
Expanding your social circles to meet new people is a very, very important part of expanding your influence and making a bigger difference in the world.
But as you do this, and if you are fully embracing the alpha mentality, you will also notice a powerful shift unfolding organically in your life—you’ll start to realize that more and more people will love and value you.
This doesn’t mean that you’ll be ‘super popular.’
It means that you’ll meet more people who genuinely align with you… people whom you will develop mutual love, admiration, and gratitude for.
And when these people also end up having mutual attraction/sexual chemistry with you… that is how powerful romantic connections are formed.
7. Find Like-Minded People Without Looking For Love
As you expand your social circles, try to stay away from ‘looking for love.’
Reprogram your mind to solve problems, pursue your purpose, and bring value to the groups of people you feel passionate for.
This organic process will bring you closer to leaving a lasting legacy of greatness in the world.
But at the same time, it will also make you far more likely to attract amazing people who will also think that YOU are amazing.
But this is so important:
Don’t do it to be loved.
Do it to make a real difference, and to create a legacy for yourself.
Put love out of your mind.
It is so ironic… but that is when you will find the most true, authentic love in your life.
8. Say Yes To Things You Wouldn’t Normally Say Yes To
Some people stifle themselves by being too picky about expanding their social circles.
They don’t say ‘yes’ to things because they don’t think anyone ‘attractive’ will be there.
They don’t say ‘yes’ to things because they have a pessimistic mindset.
“It won’t be fun. May as well just stay home. It doesn’t matter anyway.”
But this is all wrong.
You must learn to adopt a different outlook.
You need to say to yourself “I’m willing to expand my social circles, even if the invites don’t seem perfect… even if the events don’t seem to jive with me.”
You must go through the motions. You must act on this function, or it doesn’t work.
Go out and meet people, even if it takes you a bit out of your comfort zone.
You never know which connections will provide you with the next powerful step in your journey.
9. Leave Your Comfort Zone And Have Adventures
Adventures are crucial if you want to truly level-up your dating life, find love, and embrace the alpha mentality.
No powerful alpha ever evolved to be an apex specimen by sitting at home and feeling sorry for themselves.
Get up. Get outside.
Start finding places to go.
Go… get out of your comfort zone, and have adventures.
Sometimes, nothing good will come of it.
But the lessons you learn, and the things you will see and do on those adventures, will be necessary for forging you into the kind of person you’ll need to be in the future.
10. Navigate The World With Confidence And Positivity
As you meet new people, approach them with confidence, optimism, and positivity.
Spread the powerful, positive message of your life’s work wherever you go.
Wherever I go, I talk to people about dating.
I listen to their problems, and I empathize with them. I try to help them as much as I can.
But more than anything, I give them encouragement and hope.
I tell them that “you can do anything you choose to set your mind to.”
Most people are full of doubt, and have very low confidence.
Lift people up as you adventure, travel, and meet new people.
If you want to learn how to get someone to love you… start by loving others and creating value in their lives, without the expectation or need for them to love you in return.
11. Level Up Your Attraction And Dating Skills
A lot of people don’t think of ‘attraction’ or ‘dating’ as skills.
They think that these things need to happen completely organically, or they don’t count.
Well, here’s the truth of the matter.
If you learn how to level up your attraction and dating skills, you’ll get more opportunities for organic attraction—because you’ll know how to be a more attractive, likeable, loveable person.
So level it up!
Want to hit the ground running? Join my mastermind tribe to get started today.
You’ve Met Him Or Her: Now, How Do You Make This Person Fall In Love With You?
Alright. You’ve expanded your social circles, met new people, and have found someone you’ve developed a genuine attraction for.
Here’s how to get this person to notice you, like you, and maybe even love you—the way nature intended.
12. Be A Self-Sufficient Human – One Who Doesn’t Have A Love Deficit
First off, if you come off as clingy or needy, you’re going to turn this person off.
You don’t want to be easy.
High value people won’t appreciate you being ‘easy.’
They’ll think it’s probably this easy for anyone, and that will make you seem like a bad investment.
So don’t operate with a ‘love deficit.’ Love yourself, find love with your family and friends—and let that be enough for you to feel good and confident.
13. Confidently Introduce Yourself
When the time comes to introduce yourself, do it confidently.
Don’t doubt yourself.
There’s nothing shameful in being interested in someone.
Be bold. Do your thing!
14. Make Eye Contact
When you walk up to introduce yourself, make firm eye contact.
If you’re a man, either don’t smile, or give off a small smile.
If you’re a woman, smile broadly.
If you’re not used to this, it may feel weird.
But it’s actually really important.
It makes you appear self-assured, confident, and keenly interested in them as a person.
15. Practice Powerful, Self-Assured Body Language
When you approach, open up your arms and maintain an open posture.
If you’re a woman, make eye contact, smile, flip your hair a bit, and reveal your neck by turning your head to the side.
If you’re a man, maintain a stoic face or give off a small smile, make eye contact, keep your shoulders back, and don’t cross your arms. Remain comfortable, and don’t be afraid to make yourself appear larger, to take up more space.
16. Be At Peace With Yourself, And Bring Peace Into Their Life As Well
Whenever we approach someone with a sense of self-peace and confident self-assurance, we bring a peaceful energy with us.
Cultivate this in your life, and carry it with you.
Bring this energy into other people’s lives.
They’ll find it calming, reassuring, and very attractive.
17. Allow Yourself To Be Vulnerable Without Depending On That Person For Your Happiness
Practice honesty and vulnerability as you get to know people.
Share genuinely about yourself, your feelings, and your life.
But don’t fall into the trap of relying on this person for your happiness, validation, or for reassurance.
If you’re a man and feeling insecure, find your confidence in yourself. If this doesn’t work, talk to a trusted friend in private, or talk to a therapist.
Don’t put this burden on your intimate partner.
Be a strong, powerful man who holds masculine frame and maintains control over his emotions.
Don’t stifle them. Just temper them with intelligence, reason, and rationality.
If you’re a woman and feeling insecure, don’t require constant reassurance from your ‘man’ to feel confident.
Asking him for it once in a while is completely fine, and he will probably enjoy reassuring you. But if you have to ask every day, over and over again—there’s probably something wrong. You may need to level-up your self-assurance, or seek counseling.
Be a strong, powerful, bad-bitch who’s capable of generating your own happiness in life.
18. Ask For A Date – Without Relying On A ‘Yes’ To Feel Good About Yourself
If you like someone and want to ask them out, do it.
But don’t get hurt or upset when they say no.
The official alpha mentality is this… It’s better to ask 1,000 times and get 1,000 no’s than to never shoot your shot.
But trust this… that if you keep leveling up your mind, body, and spirit… and keep developing a true, powerful masculine/feminine frame, and are actively pursuing your purpose… it’s only a matter of time before you start attracting beautiful, attractive, high-value people into your life.
And these people will want to be a part of what you’re doing in the world alongside you.
19. Understand That You Are The Master Of Your Destiny – And That You Don’t Need To Worry About Love After All
At the end of the day, remember that you are the master of your destiny—and that if you focus too much on ‘trying to find love,’ you’re just going to create a desperate, clingy energy—and high value partners will pick up on this.
Instead, cultivate true self love, self assurance, and confidence.
Be ready and willing to live just as happily alone as with others.
Ironically, this makes you so much more attractive in such a natural way.
It will revolutionize your life, especially if you’re also pursuing the alpha mentality and chasing your purpose.
20. Discover That At The End Of The Day, The Real Truth Is That People Who ‘Don’t Need Love’ From Others Are Actually A Lot More Likely To Find It
This is so counter-intuitive, and a lot of people don’t understand it.
But it is so true.
The minute you stop ‘needing’ love from other people, and gain the self-assurance required to be completely fine by yourself is when you will start to develop a whole new level of appeal.
Because this attitude is a powerful high-value attraction marker.
It may not happen overnight. It takes time to kick in.
But if you’re also taking the other steps outlined in this post, eventually it will start to work.
You’ll start to find yourself more and more loved, appreciated, and liked by a wide range of different people.
Can You Make Someone Fall For You?
Here’s the thing.
I spend hundreds of hours every year researching deep, deep, deep into the science of human mating behavior.
I’ve learned a lot, and I continue to learn a lot… even now.
And I do not use tricks or try to trick people’s brains into loving me.
I think that some people believe in a ‘brain secret’ mentality, and think that you can ‘hack’ someone’s brain to love you.
But it’s just not the case.
Yes, there is a lot of weird brain science that you can study to deeply analyze the ‘love’ mechanism in our minds.
Yes, you may be able to ‘cheat’ your way into being more likely to get someone to love you if you practice and become an expert at certain types of behavior.
But here’s the thing. In the real world, these types of things are highly likely to backfire. They’re highly likely to hurt your chances rather than help them.
There’s no substitute for the real thing.
You’re just going to have to do it the old fashioned way.
By being purely and simply awesome, genuine, and 1000% the best version of your own self that you can possibly be.
This is what the alpha mentality is all about.
That’s why it’s so effective.
Because it’s not a cheat, a hack, a gimmick, or a ‘secret.’
It’s just the right way to do it if you want the best chances of success.
How Do You Make Someone Fall In Love Fast?
I’m going to shoot it to you straight, ladies and gentlemen.
The sooner you go through these 20 steps, and start whipping your life into shape… the sooner you’re going to have people falling in love with you.
It’s not rocket science.
It’s attraction science.
And the sooner you get to work on yourself, the sooner you’ll see results.
Is it easy?
Will it be worth it?
Hell yes it will.
Need a jump-start?
Join my mastermind tribe. I’ll get you started strong and help you along the way.
That’s all for this one.
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Joshua K. Sigafus