How to get your ex back.
This post is for the alpha ladies and gentlemen among my readership.
A lot of people ask this question.
And to be honest, I hate it.
I’m going to be 100% straight with you in this post. I’m not going to spin a bunch of techniques and try to help you trick your ex into getting back together with you.
Because the simple truth of the matter is that you don’t really want to get back together with your ex.
Sound shocking? Not sure if this is still the post for you?
I challenge you to read on and see if you change your mind.
If Things Ended With Your Ex, It Was For A Reason
Either you broke up with them, or vice versa.
In any case, I want you to ask yourself one simple question.
Is getting back together with your ex really the best choice?
Right now you might think that the answer is yes.
Because you’re in pain. Breaking up sucks, and it hurts.
Nobody is denying that.
But here is the bigger question.
Will getting back together really solve the problems?
What will it accomplish? How good do you think it will really be?
Do you really think that the same problems won’t rear their ugly head again?
Do you really feel like you can rekindle the kind of relationship you want after everything that has happened?
I’m going to be honest with you… the odds of that happening are nearly impossible.
I Don’t Care If You Are A Man Or A Woman – The Idea Of Getting Back Together With Your Ex Will Bring You Nothing But Misery
This is actually easy to see if you look at the situation from a rational perspective.
Let’s take a closer look.
Did You Choose To End It?
Breakups don’t happen for no reason. If you broke up with your ex, it was because you had enough of something.
Maybe they were selfish.
Maybe they treated you badly.
Maybe they lacked motivation or work ethic.
Maybe you couldn’t see a legitimate future with this person, and saw no alternative but to end things.
Maybe your entire relationship had dissolved into petty arguments and disagreements.
Maybe they were trying to control you, or made you feel like you couldn’t be yourself.
I’m going to be real with you for a second.
It doesn’t actually matter why you chose to end it. The fact that you chose to end it indicates that the problem was big enough to be significant.
Even If You Feel Like You Might Have Made A Mistake, The Situation Has Likely Deteriorated To The Point Now Where Getting Back Together Would Only Be Temporary Anyway
Think about this for a moment.
If the relationship was actually healthy, positive, and productive, would you have broken up in the first place?
The answer to this question is probably no.
Odds Are Good That You Are Actually Making A Choice That You Want To Make, But Have Been Afraid Of
Breaking up is a big life decision. This is especially true if you have been together for a long time.
And if you were married, it might seem like an even more drastic decision.
But breaking up also puts us into a sort of ‘fear reflex’ mode, because it makes us feel like we are losing something that was familiar and essential to our survival.
That fear reflex mode is exactly what is telling you to get back together with your ex.
It isn’t your heart. It isn’t god. It isn’t cupid.
It is just chemicals jolting your brain with a fear response because it senses that something unpleasant has happened, and wants you to do what needs to be done to make it feel better.
You may feel like you’re second-guessing yourself, and you may feel like you have made the wrong choice.
You may feel regret, and might even feel like you overreacted.
But the truth of the matter is that this breakup has triggered your fear reflex.
Another important truth to remember is that you don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you chose to break up. If it happened, it probably happened for a reason… even if that reason is nothing more than “I wanted to break up.”
And your brain’s first response is to plug the hole… no matter how bad of an idea that might be in the long-term!
Believe it or not, your brain, when left to its own devices, tends to send you all kinds of chemical messages that will prompt you to do things impulsively… especially when you are in a heightened state of fear, excitement, awareness, sadness, etc.
This is great news when you are fighting a wild animal, attempting to escape a burning building, or trying to overcome a deadly opponent.
These impulses can drive us forward, helping us to make instant snap-decisions that may mean the difference between life and death.
But when it comes to breakups, the the brain’s natural impulse is pretty much always going to be to go back to your ex… at least until you have trained yourself and re-wired your behavior to understand that going back to your ex after a breakup is actually a very self-destructive move that is mostly motivated by fear.
You May Be Afraid Of Being Alone
You may be afraid that nobody will ever love you again.
You may be afraid that no future potential partners will think you are good enough.
These types of fears are not only rooted in a lack of self-validation and self confidence… but they are also rooted in a lack of understanding about our world.
If you are working on bettering yourself, striving to become the best man or woman in the room, and are constantly working on minding your business, getting your money, and pursuing your purpose… then the simple fact of the matter is that you will most likely find it very easy to not only find a potential partner, but to upgrade!
This is usually what happens, and there is virtually never a reason to fear being alone after a breakup.
In fact, being alone can be helpful! It can help you to rediscover your sense of purpose, and to take a good, long, hard look at how you can double-down on leveling yourself up and pushing your own limits.
It may be time to start that side hustle, that new business, or that new investment!
This may be the time to build that six-pack, renovate your house, or learn that new skill you’ve been needing to learn!
If Your Ex Broke Up With You, Why Would You Ever Give Them A Second Chance?
If your ex broke up with you, and you are tempted to try to get them back – I want you to think about this for a minute.
Why? Why would you go pining after someone who left you and walked away from you?
Think about how disrespectful that idea is to you. Think about how low value those markers are!
Imagine what a high-value partner would think if he/she saw you chasing after someone who had walked away from you?
The simple truth of the matter is that you deserve better than that… but you will NEVER get anyone better until you learn to BE BETTER!
Take This Opportunity To Work On Your Mistakes
If your ex left you because you are lazy, start getting more motivated and working harder… but don’t go back to them.
If they left you because you are emotionally or physically abusive, go to therapy and work on those demons… but do not go back to them.
If they left you because you cheated on them and got caught, learn from your behavior and be open and honest about what you want next time.
But do not go back to them.
If they left because they fell in love with someone else… oh well! They did you a favor! They left a relationship they didn’t want anyway!
Level yourself up, dust yourself off, and become a better person tomorrow than you were today.
And most of all… do it for yourself! Not for your ex, and not for a future partner either!
Can You Get An Ex Back By Being Friends?
Sometimes. But once again, the question bears asking… Why would you want to get back together?
I challenge you to have a higher opinion of yourself than that.
I challenge you to value yourself more then someone who jumps in and out of relationships that don’t work.
I challenge you to clean up the mess that currently exists in your life, and to stop putting up with someone who doesn’t contribute enough to make it work.
And perhaps most importantly, I challenge you to look forward instead of backward.
Learn from your mistakes. Learn to leave the past in the past. Learn to level up and move on.
How Do You Know If Your Ex Will Come Back?
If you are a true Alpha, the answer to this question is easy.
It will always be “I don’t care if he/she wants to come back, I wouldn’t have them back anyway.”
Because you are too good to get back together with an ex.
Do not wish for them to come back.
Say goodbye, turn your eyes toward the horizon, and move on.
Be brave, and walk into the future with your head held high.
This is how an alpha human conducts themselves.
They do not make decisions based on fear. They make decisions based on the value they see in themselves, and on their high-value potential.
In Conclusion – How To Get Your Ex Back
I hope that this post has helped to answer the question.
Breaking up isn’t easy. It is painful and it hurts.
And it can be very scary.
But you have what it takes to make your life and future awesome.
Stand up for yourself, and realize that you deserve more than an ex.
You are too valuable for that. And if you aren’t… I know, 1000%, that you can level-up to get there!
I did it, and you can too.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus