Learning how to keep a conversation going with a girl was a challenge for me in some ways while I was growing up.
For me, learning to text and talk to women online was the hard part, while talking in real-life always came pretty naturally and easy to me.
But some men struggle with both. So in this post, I’m going to give you 4 tips for increasing your ability to communicate with women, carry on conversations, and make a high-value impression on the women you’re truly interested in.
Remember. As high value men, our goal is to mind our business, get money, and pursue our purpose in life! We strive to do these things above everything else!
Women are not the focal-point of our attention. They are, rather, a wonderful ‘cherry’ on top of an already awesome life… making life even better for high-value men who wish to share their time and attention with a high-value woman!
So whether you are looking for friendship, a hookup, or to get a girlfriend… these tips will help you.
How To Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl
I filmed a video about this topic for my Youtube channel. I definitely recommend that you check it out!
This post is going to cover some slightly different tips. But there is a lot of value in that video, and I suggest you give it a watch if you want to hear me talk about the topic in a frank and conversational way.
What To Say To A Girl To Keep The Conversation Going
The main thing to keep in mind when starting a conversation with a woman is to be open, confident, friendly, and calm.
You don’t want to act goofy, you don’t want to gush over her, you don’t want to come off as desperate or ‘amazed by her beauty,’ etc.
You want to be cool, calm, and collected. Find an opening, and start a normal conversation.
Right After Opening, Begin Learning About Her
I usually do this by asking her questions about her life.
- What does she do for a living?
- What classes is she taking?
- Does she enjoy her work?
- What are her hobbies and passions?
- Does she have any favorite movies, books, or music?
These are all great questions to ask.
But Also Remember That You Need To Share About Yourself
You don’t want to interrogate her!
Rather, you want to ask her out of a genuine interest to learn about her. You also want to answer her questions in a very confident and comfortable manner when she asks questions back.
Watch her body language. Is she acting like she would rather be somewhere else, or is she making eye contact, laughing, and acting like she’s having fun talking to you?
If she acts like she’s having fun, she is probably feeling the vibes!
So keep things chill.
Maintain your own body language, and remain charismatic… but also be yourself.
There is a subtle, yet powerful difference between the best version of yourself you can be, and trying to be someone else entirely!
Be the best version of yourself that you can be.
At the first opportunity, start developing a connection with her. I find that this usually starts to happen when she is talking about her passions, and I actually prefer building connection over positive things, rather than negative things.
For example, asking her about her passions is positive. Asking her why her marriage failed, or asking her why her parents are dead… well, that may also develop connection, but those are serious, somber areas of her life that you need to be careful about!
Ask her what she is passionate about. Then, ask her what she loves about it. This will usually elicit some kind of inner-emotion from her, and will encourage her to share something about herself that is usually hidden beneath the surface.
This little opening is all you need to make her feel a genuine connection.
To close the loop, share something of equal value about yourself. This will make her feel like she did the right thing by sharing with you, and it will feel validating.
This will usually increase the energy of the conversation… which is exactly what you want!
Build upon this by asking more questions. Make them thoughtful questions, and remember that you are genuinely trying to learn about her!
Remember these two things.
- Don’t do all the talking
- Don’t expect her to do all the talking
Also avoid being goal oriented about sex at this point. You are just having a conversation! Get to know her, and let her get to know you. Build up that comfort and that connection!
How Do I Keep Texting Interesting With A Girl?
Texting a girl is extremely difficult in some cases, especially if you met online! She is probably talking to literally dozens of different guys, and may not even remember you from one day to the next!
Pro Tip: Don’t send her a dick pick!
If you want some awesome tips for how to text her like a true alpha male, check out this post.
But… I have found that one of the best ways to get a girl’s attention and interest while texting is actually to escape the text-trap and make a phone call.
This sets you apart from the competition, because a lot of men don’t feel comfortable with phone calls.
If she doesn’t answer, leave a witty message on her voicemail.
If she answers, ask her about her day. Be chill. Talk about what you’re doing, but don’t get too serious. Just focus on having fun, and bringing in some of that positive high-output energy!
Build up the energy a little bit by being upbeat, but keep the call short… less than 5 minutes!
After this, if she’s interested in you, you will probably notice an increase in the number of texts she is sending you, because you will have made a greater impression, and she will be able to pick you out of the dozens of guys who are trying to talk to her.
If she doesn’t text you again… well, she just may not be into you, and you should probably move on.
Never Do These Things While Texting A Girl:
- Never double or triple text
- Never open up asking about sex
- Never ask for nudes until you have met in person and actually had sex
- Never send a dick pick
- Never invest more energy into the conversation than she is. The only exception to this is when you are trying to build up the energy a little bit, to test her level of interest. But don’t overdo it! If she is replying with one-word answers, and a quick phone call didn’t change anything, your best bet is to just leave it alone and find another lady to talk to!
How Do You Keep A Conversation Going With A Girl On The Phone?
Talking on the phone is, in my opinion, a much better forum for making an impression than over text.
If you want to learn how to keep a conversation going with a girl over phone, learn to keep things upbeat, interesting, and high-energy.
Call her. When she picks up, hit her with a ‘Hey (name), how’s your day going?’
You say “wow, that sounds awesome!” Or “Wow, that sucks!”
Don’t be afraid to be honest with her! If her day sounds boring, tell her that it sounds pretty boring… just don’t be mean about it!
Keep it upbeat and share your day with her.
“I’m on my way to grab some tacos! Pretty pumped about it! I’m also pretty excited for this project I have going on this afternoon!”
Be genuine, but show her that you’re a fun, cool, busy guy with a thriving, exciting life!
Even better, tell her about the fun things you plan to do later. But, keep the call short!
“Well, I better get going. I’m about to order my tacos! But hit me up sometime! Let’s hang!”
Then, off the phone.
These short, sweet convos may not seem like they matter much. But most men really overdo it on the phone… and your confidence, combined with the high energy and the brevity of the call, will be refreshing.
It won’t feel pressuring – and if she is into you at all, it will leave her wanting more.
Sure, those long, deep conversations may happen. But give it time! Let things develop first!
What Are The Topics To Talk With A Girl About?
When you first start talking to a woman, avoid talking about sex, asking for nudes, talking about your ex, or talking about anything that makes you sad or depressed!
Instead, focus on the awesome parts of your life!
Tell her what you’re doing that day. Tell her what you’re excited about. Tell her about a challenge you are getting ready to face! Tell her about something you love, or a goal you have.
Most men try to get way too serious way too fast!
But then again, most men are also looking for validation from women, because they are insecure and feel like they need a woman to desire them before they will feel confident.
For women, this often comes off as men being needy, clingy, negative, sad, depressed, etc.
But this is not the true way… and acting in such a manner is a definite low-value marker.
You are highly unlikely to win with high value women if you maintain such an attitude.
I hate to say it, men, but these are all low value markers that will pretty much instantly turn a woman off!
A high value woman wants a powerful, confident man of high status, who has a lot going on in his life, who is busy chasing his goals, who is developing a thriving, successful tribe.
So talk about those things! Save the sad stuff for when you’re drinking a cold-one with your boys, or talking to your therapist!
Hopefully this post has helped you to understand how to keep a conversation going with a girl.
Obviously, things will escalate a bit as you spend more time talking… but those first few conversations are actually really crucial.
Most men scare women away in the first few convos by being too much.
Women don’t want to have to make you feel better… they want you to be strong, capable, and powerful… and if they like you, they want you to want to take them along for the ride with you!
Women don’t want to be the mission. They want to come alongside you as you pursue your goals and passions!
They want to be a part of your team and tribe – not the focus of all your energy and attention.
Go with grace my friends, and never give up your power.
See you on the next one.
Joshua K. Sigafus