Learning how to seduce a woman is so misunderstood by so many men.
Every day, I am continually amazed by how many men struggle with this.
Well, I’ve been putting a lot of thought into it lately… and I have started compiling the core steps to my own seduction method.
These are the steps I use when I want to meet, engage-with, and potentially seduce women I take a fancy to… either in real life, or online.
Granted, these steps are more specifically geared toward women in the real world… but they can also work online.
This is cutting edge stuff for me. I plan to release a training on this later on in the year.
I even hesitated before sharing these steps here… not because they are anything incredibly special, but because this is so fundamental to my own personal game and technique, that I was almost a little bit worried that I would be sharing TOO MUCH if I published it!
But then, I cast those fears aside and decided to share it.
The entire point of this is to help men win with women. I want men to level up their lives, become strong alpha-male men, and start winning with women.
This process actually starts long before we even walk up to a woman! It starts when we wake up in the morning, as we strive to become higher value men.
But when the time comes to meet and engage-with a lady we are interested in, we need to adopt some kind of intentional methodology to our interactions if we really want to be as effective and successful as possible.
Alright. Let’s dive in.
In Learning How To Seduce A Woman, Remember That This Methodology Is Not An Exact Science
Every single situation is different. You are going to call an audible in every single interaction you have with a real life woman.
The point of a methodology is not to follow the script verbatim.
The objective is to have some kind of game plan, so that you can level-up and put your best foot forward in every situation.
As high value men, pursuing quality relationships with quality women is not the focus of our lives… but it is still vitally important.
With that being said, here is a very brief rundown of my own seduction process.
I plan to expound on this a bit more by adding blog posts for each one of these individual steps. But for now, this is just a brief, concise rundown of each step.
1… The Meeting Step
In this step, you make your initial presentation and greeting.
This is when you walk up to the girl, introduce yourself, and start a conversation.
In this step, presentation is everything. You need to build your social value, project confidence, and portray yourself as the awesome, confident, powerful high-value alpha male that you are.
There is no room for shyness or timidness in this phase. You step up to the plate and you deliver true, powerful, effective confidence.
You prepared for this moment by dressing well.
You did your hair, trimmed your beard, put on your best shoes, and you wore great clothes.
You’ve been working out, getting healthier, and getting into shape… and all of this has made you more and more confident in yourself!
2… The Information Step
The second step in my ‘how to seduce a woman’ method is the information step.
This step begins with the first words that are exchanged after the initial greeting.
This step is important because it kicks off a very important exchange of information.
You may ask her what her and her friends are doing out this evening, why she chose those boots, where she got that tattoo… whatever it is that you have decided to use as your ‘in’ to start a conversation.
(Need some cold approach conversation starters? Check out this post!)
You ask engaging questions, and you pay attention to her response. You learn, evaluate, ask further questions, and also answer her questions and volunteer information about yourself.
This phase may mature and lead to connection very quickly… or, it may die out if no connection is built.
The entire goal of this step is to learn about her, to give her the chance to learn about you, and to explore the potentiality of connection.
If you are a good conversationalist, and if you are able to transition from ‘small talk’ into conversation about something that is more meaningful than surface-level topics… then, you have graduated to the ‘Connection Step.’
3… The Connection Step
In learning how to seduce a woman, many men flounder when it comes to building connection.
This is because it requires us to be not only honest, but also fearless enough to be vulnerable… at least to a certain extent.
This vulnerability can make some men uncomfortable, and it can also make it easy to get wrapped up in your feelings.
But you must avoid this.
You need to remain stoic, strong, and powerful in this phase.
Cutlivate honesty. Be willing to ask deeper questions, and pay attention as she answers them.
If she cares enough about your questions to answer them with deep, meaningful responses, you are definitely getting somewhere!
Be immovable. Nothing she says should throw you off. She might open up to you… and when she does, she wants and needs you to be a solid rock. This is very attractive to her, and is required to make her comfortable.
If you can get her to the point where she feels comfortable with you, you have successfully accomplished this step, and can move on to flirting.
4… The Flirting Step
Flirting is an art form that takes practice to master.
Some men are born as naturally gifted flirters. Other men are born ignorant of how to seduce a woman with flirtation!
But in any case, it is incredibly easy to stick your foot in your mouth and make the wrong move.
This is why practice is required to master this vital, yet immeasurably pleasurable art form.
When flirting, remember that subtlety is the key.
Play off of her lead, and take things just a little bit further.
Her actions and reactions are your compass, showing you the direction. Then, you take it upon yourself to push the limits… without pushing them too far.
Can’t find anything in the conversation to jump off of? Steer it in the direction you want it to go in, and give it a gentle, subtle little ‘nudge.’
A little joking, some light teasing, brushing her hair back behind her ear, little whispers that give you an excuse to brush her ears with your lips, spreading little innuendos into your conversation that will make her heart race and her cheeks flush red… this is your job as a master of flirtation.
Just remember… flirting is a two way street.
It is not just for your pleasure. It is not goal oriented.
It is a pleasurable conversation that has been infuzed with an undertone of sexual energy.
As such, it should be a pleasure for both of you… and should not make her uncomfortable or feel pressured in any way.
Don’t rush it. Take your time and enjoy this place. Learn about her, enjoy her reactions, enjoy the laughs. If you’re brave, you will also go in for the first kiss early in the flirting stage.
Waiting until the end of this stage, or even worse, until the end of the escalation stage to kiss her, can leave her with the potential for cold feet, as she may still be cautious and not know what to expect.
An early, well-timed, well orchestrated kiss can demolish her walls and open the two of you to an entire new level of connection.
Far too many men are too afraid of rejection to try this, though… which is part of the reason for why all alpha males need to learn how to deal with rejection properly.
Flirting is a subtle and important art from. Train in it every day by practicing!
5… The Escalation Step
The escalation step is where you build sexual energy.
Some men may have a goal to hookup, or to get a girl’s number.
Some men may be working toward asking her out on a proper date.
Some men might be escalating toward inviting her back to his house or apartment to continue the evening.
Whatever it is, remember that if you can avoid it, try not to be goal oriented.
But DO be aware of what you want, and don’t be afraid to act on it.
This is a very subtle difference.
When I meet a girl, I have no goal. I don’t know what I might want with her.
But after we get into the flirting stage, I may decide that I want to invite her back to my place.
And so, I escalate toward that place by building up the sexual energy, having a great time, and guiding us both to a place where I can ask her to do this, and she is free, comfortable, and ready to say yes without hesitation.
During escalation, we must be gentle, but not timid.
We must own our thoughts and banish fear from our minds.
We need to step into our power, and own our desires.
We need to remember that failing to flirt and escalate properly will lead to awkwardness during the closing step.
If you properly flirt and escalate, she will be dying for you to move to closing, and will be eagerly waiting to say yes to you.
6… The Closing Step
In learning how to seduce a woman, more men are afraid of the ‘closing step’ than probably any other step.
Why? Because it requires you to come out and say what you want.
And of course, there is always the possibility of rejection.
But that is fine! That is what the alpha male journey is all about… leaving your fear behind, leveling-up, and taking risks to become a high-value, successful man!
During the closing step, you will make your move. You will ask for the number, invite her back to your place, ask her out, go in for that kiss or makeout session, etc.
When getting ready to close, banish the fear of rejection from your mind.
Own your value.
Always expect a yes.
Take control of your fear and be authentic.
A true alpha would rather get shot down 100 times than to never try.
There is no shame in being told ‘no.’
Shame and regret only come from not trying in the first place!
7… The Follow-Through Step
Learning how to seduce a woman does not end with her in your bed.
What about after you have made love?
What about the morning after?
As powerful alpha males, we have a responsibility to show this woman kindness and respect, even if we have already gotten what we were initially desiring from her.
Why? Because she is a human, and because your legacy is actually more important than achieving your goal of having sex, hooking up, scoring a date, etc.
For this reason, make sure that she is taken care of.
Does she need a glass of water? Is she hungry? Does she need a ride home?
If she is spending the night, would she like some comfortable clothes?
Maybe she would like a shower, with a clean towel and a nice, fresh washcloth so that she can freshen up before bed?
Maybe she wants to talk a bit more. Or maybe she could use a glass of wine to settle her down before bed?
Maybe she passed out right after sex! If so, making sure that she is covered up, that she is warm enough, and that she has a pillow to sleep with are now probably the most important things to think about.
As an alpha male, your job is now to respect her in the aftermath of your passionate encounter… to the best of your ability.
Treat her well, and cultivate a legacy of excellence with every woman you spend time with.
If she is worth a high-value man’s time and attention… enough for him to want to go to bed with her… then she is worth investing in beyond the context of that encounter.
This doesn’t mean that you have to become her caretaker!
At the very least, it means that you treat her with the utmost respect, kindness, and dignity.
To summarize it… be a gentleman, not an asshole!
Hopefully this post has given you some insight into how I view seduction, game, and how to successfully engage with women.
My hope is that all men will learn to level up and achieve the kinds of relationships they desire.
I also hope that men and women can have better experiences together, and that they can learn to be pleasurable and kind to one-another, instead of acting on their insecurities, hurt-feelings, and trauma.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power!
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus