The idea of learning how to start a conversation with a girl during a cold approach can give a lot of men anxiety.
But… you’ll actually find that it is a lot easier than you might think!
First, let’s define exactly what a cold approach is.
A cold approach is when you approach a woman you have no social connection to, with the intent to hit on her, get her number, ask her out, etc.
So in other words… walking up to a random girl at the grocery store to ask her for her number would be considered a cold approach.
Whereas, asking out a co-worker whom you’ve worked with for a year would be considered a ‘warm approach.’
Cold Approach Game Is A Lot Of Fun, Once You Get Over The Approach Anxiety!
I love cold approach game, because I think that every man on the alpha male journey should be confident enough to walk up to attractive women and engage with them… wherever he may be.
I think that this can be done very well, I think it can be extremely tactful when done correctly, and I think that women love it!
But what do you say?
Learning how to start a conversation with a girl is probably one of the hardest parts of this entire process.
But… no fear! In this post, I’m going to share 9 of my favorite cold approach conversation-starters with you, so that you can back-engineer them and use them in your own cold-approach scenarios.
These are all either conversation starters that I have used, different versions of openers that I have used, or openers that are still in my reserve… waiting to be used at the opportune time!
This post is not actually about seduction technique. You can find my seduction technique post here.
But… if you’re looking to start the conversation and get it rolling, here are 23 openers to help you figure out how to start a conversation with a girl.
1 – I Really Like Your Tattoo! What Is It?
I’ve used this one several times, and I like it!
I like it because I legitimately think that tattoos are sexy. So I tend to notice them, and I feel like this makes starting a convo sound easy and organic.
2 – What Are You Drinking Tonight?
I have an interest in drinking… to a point! I don’t drink as much as I did in my party days, but I am still usually down to try a new craft beer or mixed drink!
So at a bar, I may ask a lady what she’s drinking. It’s a genuine inquiry that can really get the conversation started.
3 – I Like Your Piercings! Which One Stung The Worst?
I’m also really into girls with piercings. So, this is a pretty natural question for me most of the time.
If in doubt about how to start a conversation with a girl, and she has a couple of facial piercings, complement her on them… and then ask which one stung the worst?
4 – Hello, My Name Is Josh! What Is Your Name?
This is super basic, but actually takes a great deal of confidence.
With this opener, you literally just introduce yourself.
I like to use this one during those moments where you are sitting or standing near someone, catch their eye, and smile at one-another.
I like it because I feel like it takes the lead and kind of breaks the ice where it feels the most natural.
Of course, you want to make sure to act confident, though. Introduce yourself like you own the place!
5 – This Place Is Kind Of Dead Tonight, Isn’t It?
Stuck finishing a drink at a slow bar? Find the prettiest girl and sit down next to her.
Don’t be shy. Open up by stating the obvious. After all… you’re in this together, right?
6 – Is Your Name Really (fill in the blank)?
I like to use this one with women who are wearing name tags.
So, waitresses, girls who work at convenience stores, saleswomen, etc.
It usually elicits a laugh, and can be a great ice-breaker.
I sometimes follow it up with something like… “Ah good, I wasn’t sure if that was your name or you just stole the tag!”
7 – How Is Your Day Going? Very Good. But How Is Your Day Really Going?
I actually got this idea from Wingman T.V., and though I’ve never tried it… I also think that it is a really good idea!
First, you ask ‘How is your day going?’
She answers, probably with a more typical answer.
Then, you lean in and ask, “Ok. But now, how is your day really going?”
This is giving her permission to be a bit more open, and can be a fantastic opener that has built-in flirtation and connection potentially happening from the very first sentence!
8 – Hey, My Name Is Josh! I’m Really Digging Your Style! What’s Your Name?
This is actually a really standard opener that basically involves you doing three things.
- You introduce yourself
- You pay a compliment, which conveys your interest
- You ask her for her name, showing her that you are confident and high-value because you are requiring something from her immediately
As a cold approach opener/conversation starter, this one is really basic, and it can obviously be switched up and changed to fit the situation.
Be a little careful, though! One complement in the beginning is probably enough! You don’t want her to start putting herself on a pedestal!
9 – So Are You A (sports team, movie, band, etc.) Fan?
I like to use this one when there is some kind of entertainment going on.
So, at a concert, I might say “So, are you a (opening band name) fan, or are you here for (the other band’s name)?”
This is super easy because it references the entertainment that you are both here to see, and uses that as common ground to start a conversation.
It also works well at sports bars, sporting events, clubs where a live DJ is performing, etc.
In Conclusion – How To Start A Conversation With A Girl
Remember, women are a lot like men.
They want to meet cool people. They want to have sex. They want adventure. They want to be hit on, and they want to be desired.
And they love the idea of an attractive, confident person walking up to them and starting a conversation.
But… They also want a bit of mystery.
When we cold-approach women, we need to appear confident. We want to be high-value, and we want to make sure that we use our body language, tonality, and overall image to sell them on our value right away.
Also remember this… practice makes perfect!
At first, approaching women is a little bit scary for men!
But as alpha men, we must learn to defeat this fear.
In fact, this is exactly what the 5th vow of the Oath of Kings, my own personal alpha male code, speaks to directly.
It isn’t rocket science, men. So get out there, meet some attractive women, and start some conversations!
Until next time, go with grace my friends… and never give up your power.
Joshua K. Sigafus