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How to turn on a woman

How To Turn On A Woman – 23 Zero Bullsh*t Alpha Tips

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Not too long ago, I was reading a post online about how to turn a woman on—and it was total bullsh*t. 

Men, there’s a reason why so many men are having such a difficult time with dating, sex, and relationships. 

They act like a bunch of pansies. And honestly, women are tired of it.

A very noisy minority of women are saying that they want men to be more like women. But most women do not feel this way.

So in this post, you’re going to learn 23 tips for how to turn women on. 

These aren’t going to be sweet little romantic tips, either. These are real tips for masculine, alpha mentality men who want to get down and dirty in the bedroom with beautiful women… no messing around. No nonsense.

Note: Some men focus more on long-game and long-term strategy, or even tribal dating. And there are methods that do not require you to go for the sex so early on, as I am describing in this post. In this post, we are dealing with more traditional dating tactics. We aren’t discussing long game or tribal dating. Those are different methods that require a slightly different approach—though the mindset is still the same.

This isn’t your momma’s list of tips. Let’s dive in. 

1. Step 1 Of How To Turn On A Woman – Don’t Be Wishy-Washy

wishy washy

A woman doesn’t want a man to be wishy washy. This is probably the biggest turn-off for women.

They want men to know what they want. If you want sex, she wants to know that. If you want to be friends, she wants to know that. 

A lot of men don’t understand that this is why women friendzone them. They tiptoe that line because they are afraid to make a move, and the woman gets bored, gets tired of it, and puts him in the friendzone. 

2. Be Fearless Enough To Say What You Want

alpha male fear

A man needs to be able to say what he wants. 

If you want her to take her dress off, tell her. If you want her bent over your bed—tell her that. 

If you want her to do that nasty thing you like—tell her. 

This is what women want. They want their man to know what he wants in the bedroom, to own it, and to be man enough and confident enough to say it out loud. 

3. You Choose The Date – No Guessing Game Bullsh*t

choose the place for the date

I saw this meme going around not too long ago that said something like this. 

“Men, here’s a hack! If you can’t figure out where to go for dinner, ask her to guess—and then take her there!”

Men, this is some weak a$$ bullsh*t. 

Choose where you’re taking her. Don’t ask if she likes it. Make the plan. If she has a problem with it, too bad. There are plenty of high-value women who would love to go to this place with you. Choose one of them. 

This is the attitude she wants. 

4. Tell Her To Dress Up Nice If You’re Going Somewhere Nice

let her know to dress well

If I plan to go somewhere nice, I tell the woman I’m going with to put on something presentable. 

I’m not showing up in a suit, accompanied by a woman in sweatpants—and I’m going to let that be known. 

On the dirtier side, I may even make a special request. 

Me: “I want you to wear your shortest short skirt—with no panties.” 

Her: “What?” blushes

Me: “You heard me. I better not find panties under that skirt later.” 

You see, women want you to be turned on by them. They want you to desire them. If they like you at all, they want you to play these little games with them. 

If they’re into you, they don’t want you to be their friend. They want you to be a man and take ownership over what you want. 

And if what is you want is her, well, she wants to know that.

5. Take The Lead – Always

how to turn a woman on take the lead

You are the man. If she takes charge and takes the lead, she’s going to feel like your mom. 

If you take the lead, she’s going to feel like she’s being led by a real man—and this is a turn on. It also helps to ease her anxiety and make her comfortable.

Being able to trust a man to take the lead is a huge turn-on for women.  

So take the lead, men. Always take the lead. 

This is a valuable part of learning how to turn on a woman. 

6. Don’t Try To Impress Her

how to turn on a woman dont try to impress her

You strive to impress yourself, to be a better man every day than you were yesterday. 

As such a high value man, she needs to meet your standards. It’s not the other way around. 

I don’t want to see any of you men out here trying to impress women. You’re the cave man who clubs the food and brings it home.

You are the warrior who protects your tribe from danger.

You are the leader of your tribe, family, and clan.

You don’t need to impress anyone but yourself in this life, and your expectations of yourself should be so high that this is the toughest thing to do anyway.

Impressing her should never enter the equation.  

7. Evaluate Her – Don’t Be So Quick To Decide That You Like Her

evaluate her

I don’t care how objectively ‘hot’ she is or how much you think you like her. 

Slow down for a minute and make sure to evaluate her. 

Women love being evaluated and found worthy by a high-value man

She doesn’t want to be the mission. She wants to be found worthy by a high-value man she’s interested in and join him on the mission. This validates her, and it also turns her on. 

I was once in bed with a very beautiful woman. I was running my hands over her body, just spending time looking at her.

She looked at me and said this.

Her: “I feel like I’m being evaluated.”

Me: “You’re not wrong. That’s exactly what I’m doing. Evaluating you.”

8. Be Kind And Respectful, But Let Her Know That She Isn’t Superior To You

be kind and respectful to turn a woman on

Of course, you always treat women with kindness and respect. 

But never act like she has more to offer than you. 

Her p*ssy isn’t any more magical than your d*ck is. 

You approach the table on equal footing. 

Men with this attitude turn women on more, because women don’t want to be worshipped. 

They want to want you to worship them… but the minute it happens, they get their validation, and they are done. 

They want the thrill of the chase of trying to get you to worship them. They want to be teased with it, and they want you to flirt with it—but they don’t actually want it to happen. 

Why? Because once it happens, the mystery is over. They now see what’s going on. You’re worshipping her for her magical beauty, which means that she must be better than you. And then, the game becomes boring to her. 

9. Engage Her In Conversation

engage her in conversation to turn on a woman

If a woman is spending time with you, it means that she wants to spend time with you. 

But she’s not going to get turned on with you just sitting there, saying or doing nothing to engage with her. 

Strike up a conversation. Get to the heart of what matters. Find out what she’s about, and share a bit of yourself with her. 

Cut out the smalltalk and the bullsh*t. Women like to talk about the universe, conspiracy theories, god, witchcraft… all of that crazy sh*t. 

Learn what she thinks about and share your thoughts with her. This open communication will absolutely drive that chemistry up and get her vibing with you. 

10. Start Building Connection Early-On In The Conversation

build connection

Building connection correctly is incredibly important to learning how to turn on a woman. 

Building connection is simple. You ask her questions about her, that she must answer with answers about herself. Then, you share a little bit about yourself. This means that both of you have been a little bit vulnerable, and this is what generates connection. 

Do that. That’s what women crave. 

She will love that you are interested in her. Get her talking about things she loves and enjoys. Learn about her. Enjoy experiencing her in this moment.

Then, give her the chance to experience you in return.

11. If You Like Her, Start Flirting Early On As Well

flirt with her to turn her on

If you like this woman and want to turn her on, make sure that you start flirting with her early on. 

Tease her a little bit. Give her a hard time. Get her laughing. Tell a couple of jokes. If you can get her laughing, you’ll have it in the bag, gentlemen. 

Flirting and having fun is important. Don’t be a goofy-a$$. But flirt and get her laughing. 

12. Start Sexually Escalating Within The First 20 Minutes

sexually escalate

If you’re into a woman, it is imperative that you start sexually escalating quickly. 

Start finding innocuous ways to touch her. Make these touches innocent enough that you can gauge her reaction to them. 

If she recoils like she doesn’t like it—now you know. She’s not into it, and you can stop. 

But if she’s into you, she’s probably going to like it. And that will open the door to a little bit more touching as time goes on. 

Start by touching her hair, her hand, her arm, etc. Eventually, this can escalate to some romantic touching and a kiss. 

13. Go For A Kiss Within The First 20 Minutes

go in for the kiss

A lot of guys wait until the end of the date to go for a kiss. 

But I’m going to be real with you guys—this is a massive missed opportunity. 

If I am interested in her, I make sure to go for the kiss within the first 20 minutes of the date. 

Here’s why. 

This sets the clock in motion. This seals the deal, and gets you both onto the same page. After the kiss, the next logical step may be to invite her back to your house. 

If she’s into you, a kiss will doubtlessly get her turned on. Don’t waste that by going the whole date without doing it! 

14. Ask Her About Herself – Get Her To Open Up To You

get her to open up to you

This fits in with connection, but it also goes further than that. 

You get the focus on her. You are evaluating her. You are curious about her. You want to learn about her. 

Why? Because you are trying to figure out what kind of a person she is, so that you’ll know if you’re interested. 

This is such a turn-on. Women love to be asked questions about themselves. They love for a man to ask them questions out of curiosity. They love to be evaluated by a man they’re attracted to. 

15. How To Turn On A Woman – Be Vulnerable And Open – But Don’t Be A Complaining D-Bag Or Share All Of Your Secrets

be vulnerable and open

Be vulnerable and share with her as well. But don’t go too far with it

You don’t need to share your innermost feelings and desires with her. 

Instead, give her little tidbits of who you are—but more importantly, leave her wanting more. This plays into being a bit mysterious. 

Also, no complaining. Don’t use this as an excuse to complain about your life. No woman wants to hear that sh*t. 

Don’t be a victim. Be a man.

16. Be Mysterious

be mysterious

You need to cultivate a certain level of mystery when interacting with a woman. 

Yes, you want to be honest with her—but you never want a woman to be privy to everything you are thinking. 

She wants to delve into the mystery of you. She doesn’t want to understand you completely. 

That would take all of the fun out of it. 

17. Only Dole Out Compliments As Rewards For Good Behavior

keep compliments to a minimum

A lot of men make the mistake of complimenting a lady too often. 

This is a turn-off, because it puts her on a pedestal and makes her feel like you’re easy and not worth it. 

It can make you a chronic nice guy. And that is very bad for attraction.

I like to make sure that I only dole out compliments for good behavior. 

For example—if she shows up looking stunning, I will mention it. I may say that she looks wonderful. 

But after that, she needs to do something else to impress me if I am going to give her a compliment. 

I’m not an easy man to please—and you shouldn’t be, either. 

That’s not what turns women on. They want the thrill of the chase. 

18. Maintain Frame, Always – Even If She Tests You

maintain frame always to turn women on

You are a strong, masculine man, and you live your life in an alpha frame of mind. 

She will doubtlessly test this. And it is very important to stand up to these tests as a true alpha

She isn’t the boss here. You are the master of your destiny, and you are not afraid to walk away from anyone. 

You are operating from a position of sexual abundance. So act like it. 

This turns women on. They want a man who is willing to walk away from them. It shows her that you have value. 

And that leads to our next point. 

19. Always Be 1000% Willing To Walk Away

be willing to walk away

A woman will grow incredibly bored incredibly fast if she senses that you are afraid to walk away from her. 

Why? Because this tells her one thing. 

You don’t think that you can get anyone better. 

And if she thinks that—you’ve already turned her off. 

That’s not what she wants. 

She wants to know that she is flirting with a highly-sought-after man—a man who can get whoever he wants. 


Because this communicates high value, and it validates her because she knows that being with you is an accomplishment that is not accessible to everyone else. 

20. Invite Her Back To Your Place – Don’t Chicken Out

invite her back to your place

Seriously. Don’t be the ‘nice guy’ and be afraid to shoot your shot. Invite her back to your place. If she says ‘no,’ oh well. That’s fine. 

But as men, we need to be shooting our shot and going for it. 

There’s really no reason not to try for the sex on the first date. 

If you just chill and take her home, she’s going to think that there was no connection or chemistry—and odds are good that she will get bored very quickly. 

This is especially true if you felt a powerful connection with her. 

Men, take this as a hint. If you want to learn how to turn on a woman, you need to get on the bandwagon early. Don’t wait and take your time. She’ll get tired of waiting. The hotter she is, the shorter her patience will be. 

21. Don’t Be Timid – Go For What You Want

don't be timid

Women love it when men unabashedly pursue what they desire. 

She doesn’t want you to tiptoe around the issue. She wants you to tell her to drop her dress and climb into bed. 

She wants to be told where to lay, how to position herself, and what to do to please you. 

(Obviously there are exceptions to this. But as a general rule, this is true for most women… as long as they are into you and sexually interested.) 

If she doesn’t want this from you, then she doesn’t want you. Period. And no amount of ‘taking your time’ is going to win her over anyway. 

22. If She Says No, Don’t Beg, Get Mad, Or Be Disappointed – Just Be Done With The Date And Bid Her Goodnight

if she says no

As men, we want to be shooting our shot and going for what we really want. 

But if she says ‘no,’ be done with it. Trust me, it is NOT a turn on for you to beg or to try to talk her into it. 

Take her no for a no, hold your head high, thank her for her time, and lose her number. 

No harm, no foul. 

23. The Final Piece Of Advice – How to Turn On A Woman – Stop Turning Her Off With ‘Nice Guy’ Texts Before The Date Begins

stop texting so much

So many men do way too much texting before the date. 

Stop. Just stop. 

Do the flirting in person unless she is initiating it. 

No more asking for nudes (weaksauce). 

No more trying to sext with her when you get bored and horny (unless she starts it). 

No more sending her pics or vids of you wanking it (unless you have been together long enough that it has been established that she actually likes these things. Never do this if you aren’t in a relationship with the woman)

And also, no ‘good morning beautiful’ texts unless the two of you are having some wild, nasty sex on the regular and she is earning texts like this from you—and even then, ‘good morning beautiful’ texts are usually probably not going to be a good idea very often. 

This is how nice guys bend the knee to women who are higher-value than them. 

High-value men are out early in the morning grinding, hustling, making money in the morning so that they can have her over again later that night. 

Think about this. This is real stuff, men. 

If she is your wife or girlfriend—the occasional good morning beautiful text is very nice. 


But if you do it every morning, and she won’t appreciate it—and she’ll start to see you as boring, predictable, and easy to get. 

That should never be the case, because it is the biggest turn-off. 

In Conclusion – How to Turn On A Woman

Hopefully, this post has helped to shed some light on how to turn on a woman and get her excited to climb into bed with you. 

This is actually simple stuff. You just have to understand that women are not so different from men. 

But, they are just different enough to be confusing… which is why it is so important to take these tips seriously. 

Go with grace, gentlemen—and never give up your power! 

Until next time:

Joshua K. Sigafus