Not long ago, I was asked a question by a lady friend of mine.
If a guy talks about another girl, does he like you?
Basically, what was happening was this.
She matched with him on a dating app, and ended up meeting him for coffee. But one of the primary things he talked about was other women.
He talked about his ex, but he was also talking about a girl he worked with.
What does this mean?
Is this a low-value marker? Is it a red flag? Is it a sign that he is trying to make you jealous?
Or is he actually trying to open up and talk to you about real things?
These are great questions.
And in this blog post, I’m going to answer them for you.
Let’s dive into it.
Special note for men: This post was written for the ladies. But men, let me just give you a small piece of advice.
Don’t talk about other women while on a date with a girl.
Usually, doing so is a low-value marker. And high-value women will likely rule you out as a result.
Keep reading to hear why.
If A Guy Talks About Another Girl, It Could Mean One Of 4 Different Things
If a guy is talking to you about another girl while he’s either talking to you online, hanging out with you, or on a date with you, then it could mean any one of these 4 different things.
1. He’s Not Over His Ex
Is he talking to you about his ex?
If so, I’m afraid that you’re dealing with a low-value marker.
Some men have a very difficult time getting over their ex, and this is certainly going to be a problem for you.
In such cases, if the ex comes back into the picture, he’s very likely to jump-ship on whoever he’s dating currently to get back together with her.
And obviously, that isn’t a ‘fear’ that you want hanging over your head in life.
The best thing to do with a man who isn’t over his ex is to rule him out as a serious potential mate.
It’s true that men can sometimes get over their ex while they’re with a new partner. But there’s no way of knowing if that’s going to be the case, and you stand to waste a ton of time and energy if you take that risk.
2. He May Be Trying To Make You Jealous
Some guys will try to make you jealous by talking about other women.
You may find it annoying. But believe it or not, this tactic can work.
But here’s the thing. High-value men aren’t going to try to invoke your jealously directly like this.
This is kind of a ‘boy vs man’ mentality.
An immature man who doesn’t feel like he has control over his dating life may try to make you jealous to get you to either sleep with him or pay more attention to him. But an alpha mentality, high-value man doesn’t need to do this.
Because a high-value man understands that all he needs to do is be a high value, alpha mentality man to get a quality lady’s attention.
Since he’s a strong, valuable man who understands how to stand firmly in his masculine frame, he’s highly sought after by women in his life. So he’s dating from a position of sexual abundance, not scarcity.
There is a quiet confidence in that approach that doesn’t need to waste time trying to make you jealous.
So if you think you may be dealing with a guy who’s trying to make you jealous, your best bet is to cut him loose.
3. He May Be More Interested In You As A Friend
If he meets you and starts showing interest, you may think that he’s really into you.
But be careful if he starts talking about another woman… especially if he confides in you that he is legitimately interested in this other woman.
There’s a chance that he actually wants her, and that you are a fallback girl for him. He may still be interested in sleeping with you, hanging out with you, being your friend, and even doing boyfriend/girlfriend stuff with you.
But keep this in mind.
If there’s another girl out there who he actually desires more than you, he is always going to have a foot in that camp.
This is going to keep him from committing to you fully.
This is different from a man who wants to take his time. It’s a question of what he is focused on and desires.
This is a lot like the ‘guy’ version of the friend zone, and it’s important to be aware of it.
A high value, alpha mentality man will know what he wants.
If he wants you, you will feel that energy.
If you can’t get him to give you a straight answer on what he wants with you, then he may not be ready to do that, or his true intent may be set on another woman.
And if he’s always talking to you about that other women, then odds are good that the latter is true.
My best advice, in this case, is to either accept that he’s not fully yours and enjoy spending time with him as a friend, or to cut him loose and invest that time into the search for a man who truly wants YOU.
4. He Is Legitimately Trying To Talk To You About His Feelings – And Displaying His Immaturity At The Same Time
There is a chance (a small chance, but a chance) that this man:
- Doesn’t truly know what he wants
- Is engaging with you on a seriously honest level because he wants to connect
- And it just so happens that what’s on his mind is another woman
To a point, this situation may actually be innocent. But that doesn’t mean that it’s a good situation for you to be in, either.
This other woman may or may not be a legitimate ‘threat’ to you, but that’s actually kind of beside the point.
The point is that this is a strong symptom of a larger problem… that he doesn’t understand women, and isn’t engaging with you as a strong, masculine man ought to be engaging with you.
Here’s the thing.
As a woman, you probably don’t want to hear him talk about other women if you’re interested in him.
And there’s a very good reason for that.
You’ve evolved to desire security from your mate.
And in talking about other women, he is either knowingly or unknowingly hurting your ability to feel secure in the relationship.
Now, don’t get me wrong. A certain amount of ‘relationship anxiety’ is healthy, for both men and women.
But this will happen naturally as you are both pursuing your highest potential and becoming better versions of yourselves.
As you both become higher-value people, you’re going to realize that you both could have plenty of other dating options.
This will probably increase attraction between the two of you. But you will also have the security of knowing that your partner is intentionally choosing you, and that will feel really good.
That’s something we all desire in our relationships. We’ve literally evolved to desire it. When we don’t feel wanted or appreciated, it stands out to us as a low-value marker.
So by talking about other women with you, he’s actually (perhaps without realizing it) destroying that part of the relationship.
He may be on an ego-trip (doing it intentionally), or he may be doing it out of ignorance (doesn’t realize that it’s a problem).
In any case, it’s not going to land very well on you, and for good reason.
You may be able to talk to him about it and bring it up to him. But that usually doesn’t go very well.
Men in this stage of growth aren’t usually ready to be strong, alpha-minded men. They’re usually still in a state where they are struggling.
What To Do If You Encounter This Situation
If you find yourself asking “if a guy talks about another girl does he like you,” then you have probably experienced this first hand.
The first thing I would advise is that you watch this video I made to help women understand how to vet male partners better.
Secondly, I would encourage you to take a look at this blog post, where I talk about what it means to be an alpha female. If you haven’t considered taking your first steps into the alpha journey, then I would highly advise you to do so.
And thirdly, I would encourage you to use the tips in this blog post to attract a high-value, alpha-mentality man who will actually care about you, who won’t waste your time, and who will understand how important it is to let you be a woman, and also how important it is that you let him be a man.
Also, read this post to learn how to spot a high-value man.
The goal is to find a man with whom you can build a mutually respectable relationship, where you can come together on equal footing to chase your individual purposes together.
Remember, finding a man is not the mission, and it is not your purpose. Find your true purpose in life, and chase it. Create lasting value, and strive to leave a lasting legacy of greatness in your wake. And while you are on this journey, keep an eye out for a man who is also on his mission and purpose.
That’s really the key. Don’t look for a man who makes you the mission.
It won’t serve you well, and it will only play out in your life in a negative way.
Hopefully, this post has helped you to answer the question: If a guy talks about another girl, does he like you?
Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus