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Instant attraction

3 Crucial Instant Attraction Mechanisms To Make You More Desirable

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A lot of people want instant attraction. They want to be well-liked, attractive, and desirable with short-cuts and ‘quick tips.’ 

But here’s the truth. 

Attraction is both simple and complicated. And in this post, I’m going to help you understand why. 

Not too long ago, I had an unplanned interaction with a woman who reminded me exactly how powerful these 3 instant attraction mechanisms are. 

You see, I’ve known about these things for a long time. I’m not sure if she did or not. But she was employing all three, probably without even realizing that she was doing it. 

The result?


And the craziest part was that she didn’t even have to ‘try.’ 

In this post, I’m going to break down these 3 instant attraction mechanisms to help you understand how you can apply them in your own life. 

Let’s dive in. 

1. She Was Pursuing Her Purpose

If you want to identify me, ask me not where I live, or what I like to eat

This woman was actually a work client. We met to work on a brief project together. 

But literally within the first 2 minutes of our first conversation, she had already solidified two very important things. 

  1. She had a purpose, and understood exactly what it was
  2. She cut through the bullsh*t and made her purpose/vision/passion clear to me

This hit me like a breath of fresh air. 

And even better, her purpose was her business. She had traveled out of her comfort zone and started a business based on the object of her passion. And she made no bones about letting me know this in the very first few minutes of our convo. 

I can’t overstate to you how important this is. 

She didn’t sit around bullsh*tting with me. She didn’t waste 30 minutes on small-talk. She didn’t beat around the bush, waiting to see if I would approve or disapprove.  

She got right to the point. She unabashedly let me know what she was about, why she was about it, and that she was insanely passionate about her work. 

And to be honest, this is such a rare thing that I couldn’t help but to be attracted to it.

A lot of people try to put up a front. They try to be likeable. They hold their true passion in reserve, out of fear that they’ll meet rejection

But this woman gave zero f*cks about any of that. She had so much confidence, and came out with it so fast… it was truly refreshing. 

2. She Was Competent

“it is easier to do a job right than to explain why you didnt”

Competence is an often underrated virtue nowadays. In a world of short-cuts and the ever-present ‘get it now’ mentality, far too many people don’t spend nearly enough time becoming competent at anything meaningful. 

But this woman was the opposite. 

As we talked about the topic, she was rapid-firing answers and information at me faster than I could type. 

I was so impressed. She knew so much about her business. 

This is a virtue I rarely find in humans these days, and is partly why I would so much rather go to a business networking meeting than to try to meet women on dating apps. 

Usually, when I meet women on dating apps, they’re vapid, clueless, passionless, and just surviving. I’m not trying to be mean by saying that. I’m just telling it how it is. They’re letting life happen to them, and there’s nothing but chaos beneath the surface. 

But professional women (especially alpha women), women who choose to become truly competent at something that matters to them, are a true joy and pleasure to spend time around. It’s instant attraction, and I find it highly noticeable. 

And to be honest, this is exactly the same for men. 

Most men have very little to bring to the table in terms of competency. They go to work at a job they hate, drag themselves home, and play video games/smoke weed/watch porn to escape from the life they don’t like… and then wonder why they can’t get a woman’s attention on the dating apps they’re swiping on! 

We can all do better than this. We can all level-up and take more pride in our lives than that. 

Take some time to develop true competence at something. Master a craft. Become so good at something that other people are impressed by it. 

In a world of fast-food and overnight shipping, cultivate something that takes some time to master. This speaks directly to the alpha mindset

It’s a virtue that can’t be synthesized or achieved with shortcuts. And it is incredibly, insanely attractive. 

3. She Was Empathetic

instant attraction quote earnest hemmingway

As professional and impressive as this woman was, she didn’t spend all of her time talking about herself. 

She took several balanced breaks in her conversation to ask me about MY business and purpose as well. 

And the really crazy awesome thing about it was that it didn’t feel rehearsed or forced. 

I felt like she was legitimately interested in what I was doing, and was picking up on my own passion for my own business/purpose. 

This made me feel valued, which is actually important. 

Impressing someone is only half of the battle when it comes to attraction. 

We also want to let them know that we are interested in them. We want to let them know that we want to learn more about them. We want to let them know that we are impressed and that we appreciate them. 

This is a tough balance to get right. And to be honest, it takes a lot of confidence and self-esteem to be able to pull it off. 


Because it requires you to be unabashedly yourself, while also taking the initiative to validate someone else at the exact same time. 

For someone with zero self-confidence issues, this is a pretty simple matter of balancing the conversation. 

But for someone who struggles with confidence, this is a major challenge. 

It’s a challenge because it requires you to either assume that you’re not going to make a fool of yourself, or to not care what the other person’s opinion of you is. 

It requires you to do your thing and be your genuine self, without regard for whether or not someone is going to think good or bad of it. 

All things considered, this is the most attractive state to exist in, for a myriad of reasons. 

I’m not sure if it was intentional or not, but this woman nailed it. It was literally instant attraction. I was thoroughly impressed. 

In Conclusion – Instant Attraction Mechanisms To Make You More Desirable

That’s a wrap. 

Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand all three of these instant attraction mechanisms, and how to use them to drastically increase your attraction. 

Here’s the catch, though. 

They have to be genuine. 

If you try to fake it, you won’t come off as being real. 

And there’s nothing more unattractive than someone who’s trying to ‘fake’ it. 

Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power. 

Until next time…

Joshua K. Sigafus