How to make a man want you bad:
You make a man want you badly by becoming a truly lovely, inspirational, amazing alpha female with an extraordinary life and attractive energy—and then, by broadcasting all of that beauty to the men in your periphery—thus displaying all of your amazing feminine qualities.
So there’s a man you really like. Maybe you go to class with him, or see him at work.
Maybe he serves you coffee at the coffee shop.
Maybe you met him online, and are dying to get to know him better and desperate to get him to like you!
Well, the first thing that you need to know is that you have a lot of power in this situation.
Women have amazing natural powers of attraction and seduction. But perhaps even more so than this, women have the power of femininity.
Men are deeply drawn to this power. And for good reason. They’ve evolved to desire it, crave it, and seek it out.
And if you know how to leverage it, you have very good odds of at least getting his attention.
But how do you get started? What should you do?
Let’s dive in and start at the beginning – and discuss some of the fundamental feminine attraction principles.
Note: If you’re interested in the content matter of this post, then you’ll definitely be interested in our master guide to dating. Make sure to check that out to get a complete rundown of the entire dating process, from beginning to end.
How Can I Make Him Want Me Badly? It All Starts With Your Female Attraction Metrics
When you invest in yourself and level up in all of the vital life domains that matter, you not only increase your attraction—but also broadcast those value metrics to the men around you.
This is the natural, organic process where you literally become a more attractive, better version of yourself, and then display all of your amazing qualities (i.e. attraction markers) to the world.
Embracing The True Power Of Femininity
According to our evolutionary design, the purpose of man is to generate resources and solve problems – to facilitate his evolutionary core mandate, which is to provide safety and security so that the tribe can survive and thrive.
The purpose of women, by contrast, is to create life and emotionally nourish the tribe with her feminine beauty and inspiration.
Women who live in accordance with this feminine power in regards to the men they want to be romantic with are far more likely to succeed in the ‘mating and dating’ realm—especially if your goal is for the man you desire to ‘desire you very badly!’
What Are The Female Attraction Metrics, And How Do You Level Them Up?
There are basically 7 crucial female sexual value metrics that you’ll want to level up to increase your attraction as a woman.
Men evolved to desire youthful women because youth cues would have been important to our ancient ancestors, to show that a woman was of child-bearing age.
Don’t forget—the male sexual instincts are deeply rooted in their primordial desires to create offspring – and thus, to work cooperatively with their female compatriot(s) to create a strong genetic legacy. Thus, you’re going to appear more attractive to men if you can broadcast more ‘youthful’ cues (think youthful, healthy skin, long luscious hair, a fit/athletic body, healthy teeth, clear skin, etc.).
For the most part, this really boils down to health cues. You want to try to broadcast as many ‘health cues’ as possible (which, at the end of the day, demands that you take care of yourself and your overall health and well-being).
Honestly speaking—one of the most powerful youth, beauty, and fertility cues that you could ever enhance is your physical fitness.
In other words—maintain a fantastic, healthy physique by achieving a healthy body weight, working out, increasing your muscle tone, and just in general creating a rocking, sexy feminine body.
A lot of people nowadays hate the idea that women who are in better, healthier shape get more attention. But it’s true. The better physical shape you’re in, the more likely you’re going to be to catch his eye and make him want you badly.
Beauty really combines the power and natural beauty of femininity with health and fertility cues. When women strive to maximize their beauty cues, what they’re really doing is trying to broadcast health and fertility cues.
In other words—dress to accentuate your athletic, healthy physique—wear lipstick and makeup to accentuate the feminine curvature of the lips and face—wear jewelry to call attention to feminine parts of the body (your more graceful neck, wrists, ankles, etc.).
Fertility cues mostly have to do with displaying and broadcasting traits that also tend to correspond with a higher likelihood of fertility.
This mostly means finding a subtle, tactful way to broadcast your ‘feminine assets.’ This means your curvaceous buttocks, breasts, lips, hips, etc.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you want to strut around ‘naked,’ revealing your ‘assets’ for all to see. But rather, you want to find more ‘covert’ ways to broadcast these attractive traits.
You can wear skirts or slacks that flatter your backside. You can wear t-shirts that hug your feminine curves. You can wear high-heels to show off your athletic legs, etc.
Fidelity cues are behavioral.
Men, by nature, tend to be pretty territorial—and they’re much less likely to invest in a woman who’s willing to sleep with a lot of men.
So, fidelity really relates to having high standards for yourself as a woman, in the sense of broadcasting behavioral cues that would lead men to believe that you authentically really only desire to sleep with (and create a future with) one man, and to stay faithful to him.
Men who are interested in a serious relationship will really value this.
There’s a reason for why, over the course of history, men have made a big deal out of female ‘virginity.’
The reason for this is because men relish the idea of having the ‘beauty’ and ‘sexuality’ of their female partner all to themselves.
This doesn’t necessarily mean that you need to be a virgin to land a high-value man. But it does mean that you need to understand that men are more likely to invest in you as a long-term partner if you display the types of behavioral qualities that would tend to make men think that you’re more interested in waiting for ‘Mr. Right’ than you are in sleeping with every guy who comes along and offers it to you.
In other words, you want to be a ‘smart investor’ with your feminine assets.
High value, alpha mentality men will never engage in an alpha struggle with a woman who acts disagreeably, starts fights, starts drama, disrespects him, etc.
Therefore, it’s crucial that you make sure that if you’re going to date a man, that you be ready and willing to allow him to be the alpha—unless he’s actually a beta and requires leadership.
Read this guide to learn more about how to accomplish this as a woman: Are Submissive Women More Attractive To Alpha Men?
Remember—the whole duty of a high-value woman is to create life and to emotionally nourish the tribe.
And guess what?
You can’t emotionally nourish the tribe if you’re always starting fights or drama.
This isn’t to say that you need to let low-value men cross your boundaries or walk all over you.
This just means that you don’t want to be the type of woman who starts needless drama with the ‘good man’ you want to be in a relationship with.
As a man, I can tell you this beyond the shadow of a doubt.
There’s nothing as inspiring or as beautiful as femininity, womanhood, and the essence of the feminine.
Men love women because they’re beautiful, inspiring, sexy, and literally magical.
But many women destroy this crucial feminine power by striving to compete with men and become everything that men are–which works against their feminine energy.
This isn’t to say that women can’t also be aggressive, tenacious, determined, tough, etc.
In fact, if you want to have a career and succeed in the realm of men, then you’re going to want to develop these things for yourself – and that is NOT a bad thing!
It just means that you’ll tend to fair a lot better in the ‘dating realm’ if you reveal your feminine nature to the man you desire, instead of the more ‘masculine’ tendencies that you may tend to carry with you in the workplace, while ‘on the job,’ etc.
Be ‘masculine’ in other areas of life. But if you want to win with a high-value man, be ‘feminine’ toward him… always.
How Do You Make A Man Want You More? 8 Tips To Get Started Today
Alright. Now, it’s time to take these fundamental principles and put them into practice using some real-world examples and tips. Here are 8 important tips to get you started on the right path.
1. Take Feminine Initiative
Here’s the thing about men. They can be surprisingly fickle.
Some men know exactly what they want. Others are not so sure.
Many men are very susceptible to the female powers of feminine sexual suggestion.
If you’re an attractive woman, there is probably a 100% chance that somewhere deep inside of him, the man you are attracted to wants you… AT LEAST physically/sexually.
This is how most men are hard-wired. Some men are ashamed of this and will try to say that it isn’t true.
But as a man, I can safely say this… even my least favorite women in the world have at least SOME sexual appeal to me if I find them physically attractive in the slightest.
You can’t force chemistry. If a guy isn’t into you and doesn’t feel that organic ‘spark’ of attraction, he just isn’t into you.
But here’s the thing. Most men are into most attractive women, even if it is just at a very shallow physical level at first.
That’s not to say that sex is all that men care about. In fact, men care about a lot of things.
But if you have that sexual chemistry component, you can do a lot to cultivate the rest of what is required to really get his attention.
And taking initiative is probably the number one thing that I see women struggling with in modern dating.
Here’s what I mean.
Men And Women Are More Equal Now Than Ever
This means that men are taking the initiative to pursue women less than ever.
For some men, it’s because they’re shy, introverted, and lack confidence.
But some men (high value men) pursue women less because they’re looking for high-value women who will take more initiative and put forth some effort.
For example – I will take it upon myself to approach women and start the encounter. I will also take it upon myself to text first.
But if she doesn’t take some initiative and meet my level of engagement with an equal amount of effort, I stop putting in any effort and I just walk away.
Because I’m not going to waste my time chasing women who aren’t into me enough to put forth the same effort.
So, be conscious of how you’re expending effort for the men you’re interested in. If he puts some effort into you, and you really want him to notice you, make an effort to return that effort equally.
High-value men will notice this, and will appreciate it.
2. How Do You Let A Guy Know You Want Him To Touch You? Don’t Be Afraid To Touch Him First
For years, pick-up artists have been teaching men how to subtly hit on women and develop some physical contact during the flirting step.
Why? Because physical contact really builds connection, intimacy, and chemistry.
But some men really struggle with this. They don’t want to touch a woman and overstep their boundaries.
In our modern era, some high-value men are going pretty hands-off with women, because they don’t want to cross boundaries or come off as being disrespectful.
This means that you, as a woman, generally have a lot more power to take the initiative and initiate a bit of this physical contact yourself.
Physical contact will get a man’s attention so fast. It’s crazy effective.
And just as a note: this doesn’t mean that the contact has to be sexual. It also doesn’t mean that you should throw yourself at him.
But here’s the thing:
If you can just make it a little bit easier for him to feel comfortable making the move, that’s really all you need.
- Ask him to feel the goosebumps on your arm on a cold day.
- Offer him high-fives.
- Give him a playful shove with your shoulder as the two of you are walking.
These little instances of physical contact are so welcomed if the man is shy, but really into you. They’re also a great way to let a man know that physical contact is ok, and that you won’t freak out if he touches you.
Personally, I’m always really careful about this.
I try to be very careful about physical contact. And if I don’t notice that a woman is encouraging further physical contact by returning my advances, I’ll always stop them – simply out of respect.
I may try it once. But if I don’t see that effort returned with some serious ‘encouraging action’ and ‘positive body language’ on her part, I’ll generally disengage.
Truly ‘good’ men don’t want to feel like they have to force it. So if you really like him, don’t make it difficult to figure out if you want him to touch you.
3. How Do You Tease A Guy To Want You More?
Teasing can mean two things.
It could mean playfully making fun of him or poking jokes at him.
Or, it could mean sexual teasing, flirting, etc.
In this case, let’s talk about poking fun and teasing.
When teasing a guy, be yourself and keep it light-hearted.
If you get the sense that your jokes aren’t coming across as funny to him, maybe back off a little bit.
But, don’t change your humor to try to impress him, either.
Even if I don’t think a girl’s jokes are particularly funny, I usually still think she’s cute for making them!
Personally, I like it when the woman I’m into teases me a little bit in a playful manner.
But she also needs to be ready to accept some teasing in return.
This sets up some awesome flirtation, and the opportunity to develop connection.
(Learn more about the 5 overarching dating skills in this guide: The 5 Core Overarching Dating Skills.)
But… if she goes too hard or teases too much, it CAN get to a point where she will come off as a bit immature for me.
I like it when a woman is able to tease and have fun, but then also switch over to having a mature, intelligent, serious conversation with me as well.
4. Tantalize Him With Your Feminine Sexiness
You don’t have to go overboard to seduce a man.
- Make eye contact with him and smile.
- Wear clothing that flatters your body.
- Stand close to him.
- Wear some nice perfume, do your hair, and wear some tasteful jewelry.
- Use your own authentic sense of style to crank up the sexiness, and then move into close proximity with him to utilize it.
- Don’t be afraid to place gentle touches on his body… his arm, his chest, his shoulder, his back, etc.
Personally, I find this a very tactful way for a lady to let me know that she’s interested in me.
But… if she makes it too obvious, she can end up shooting herself in the foot.
If you appear too eager, or if you come on too strong, you can send some ‘weird, low value markers.’
The basic rule of thumb here is to play it cool.
Sprinkle little teases into the interaction, but leave enough room for him to make the majority of the moves.
This leads to the next tip.
5. Play A Little Bit Hard To Get (But Not Too Hard)
You don’t want to play mind games with men. But you do want to make it known that you’re a confident, popular woman who’s capable of getting attention from pretty much anyone you want attention from.
This is an alpha female mentality. And it really works.
At the party, move from person to person, making small talk and having a good time.
If there’s a guy you secretly want, make your way around to him a bit more often. Flirt with him a bit, laugh, joke a little, and then break away and move on.
If you pine over him too much, he might start to get the sense that you’re a ‘sure thing,’ which isn’t good.
If he’s a confident man, and gets a sense that you’re a ‘sure thing,’ he may back-burner you… which is a way of saying that he’ll think of you as a ‘sure-thing backup’ if he can’t manage to score with a more challenging woman.
You don’t want to be the back-burner woman.
You want to be the woman he actually wants.
So, you move in… you engage with him… you build up some sexual tension, enough to get his interest.
Then, you break away and do your own thing a little bit. If he chases you a little, reward him with some flirting, a light touch, some eye contact with your beautiful eyes… then, break away again, and keep up your appearance of individuality.
Your thought process should be as follows:
You are a strong alpha woman. You don’t NEED his attention. But… you seem interested in it. You seem to enjoy his presence, and you reward him when he gives it to you. He also needs to know, however, that you could probably have your pick of any man in the room.
That will make him much more likely to want to chase after you.
You want him to catch you, obviously. Don’t make it impossible or frustrating for him to catch up to you.
But at no point should he feel like you are an ‘automatic score,’ unless you’re in the moment for it and want to give yourself over to it (for example, during a hookup).
But even then, you’ll want to move on and do your own thing after – not pining after him, but not avoiding him either.
This kind of ‘flirting’ where you give a bit of sweetness, flirt a bit, and then direct your attention elsewhere… is really a form of play.
If you play too hard to get, he may get frustrated and disengage.
But if you make it fun and rewarding – he’ll likely find it intoxicating.
This is how an alpha female leads a high-value man to the point where he desires her above all of the other women on his radar.
6. Dress To Impress
There’s a bit of a stigma in some circles about telling women to ‘dress to impress a man.’
But here’s the thing.
I always tell men that they should dress well and look as good as possible.
But… I don’t want them to do it just to get a woman’s attention.
I want them to take pride in their appearance as a man.
I want them to own their image and put effort into looking good.
And I want the same thing from women.
As a man, I really take notice when a woman is on her style game.
Whether she’s wearing all black, wearing dresses, wearing jeans, wearing a suit… it doesn’t really matter what she’s wearing.
If I’m into her, I want to see her wearing something that flatters her, that she likes. I love seeing a woman’s individual sense of style come through in her clothing choices.
So dress according to your own personal style.
But most of all, dress according to the high standards you wish to set for yourself.
You don’t have to wear things that you don’t want to wear.
Nice clothes that flatter your body, some tasteful makeup, a bit of well-placed jewelry – these things are all very nice, and they don’t have to be complicated.
The main point is to put effort into looking good for yourself. Take pride in your appearance as a woman, and dress the way you think looks the best.
This extra confidence will look better on you than any other clothing choices – and it will make a difference in getting him to notice you.
7. Don’t Pine Over A Guy (Until You’re In A Relationship, Anyway)
I see it all the time. I’ll see women who are super-obsessed with a guy who barely shows them any attention.
Ladies, when you put a man on a pedestal and pine over him, you come off as desperate for his attention.
This feeds his ego, but it doesn’t do you any favors as a woman.
I would much rather see you engage, flirt, and then disengage.
I want to see you putting in a bit of effort, and then pulling back a bit to allow room for him to return the effort.
If he doesn’t, then something is wrong.
You can read more about this dynamic in this guide: How to Meet Someone in Real Life – Dating And Attraction.
If a man isn’t willing to put equal or greater effort into pursuing you, he probably isn’t ‘into’ you enough or ‘serious enough’ about his intent to deserve more effort from you.
I hate to see women getting into the habit of investing time into men who don’t invest equal time back.
So be mindful of this. You might want to make him want you bad… but you don’t want to sacrifice your energy for someone who isn’t going to return it.
Plus, when other high value men see you pining over a man and acting desperate, it will come off as a little bit of a turn-off to them.
When I notice a woman and see her pining after another man, I instantly turn the other way and focus my attention on other women.
Why would I waste my time on a woman who is obviously investing all of her resources into a different guy?
She’s unavailable. I’m not going to put any effort into that situation.
I’m not going to try to change her mind and shift her attention to me. I’m going to go looking for someone I have some natural chemistry with, who seems to share that mutual interest in me when I put some effort in.
8. Engage Him In Authentic Conversation
I know that a lot of guys are bad at conversation. I also know that a lot of women struggle to find high-value men who are good at listening and communicating on the same level.
I hear these pain points a lot.
But… with that being said, a high-value man will absolutely value authentic, real communication with a woman – and being able to have this is likely to really give you a boost in your attempts to get him more interested in you.
I once had a date with this woman who invited me over to her house. She had a hot tub, and asked if I wanted to come over and hang out in it.
I said, “heck yeah.” I was into her, and I thought it sounded like great fun.
When I got there, we got undressed and got into the hot tub. Obviously, it was very sexy. We were naked, relaxing, and just having a great time.
But, she didn’t make it ‘sexual’ right away.
She relaxed on the other side of the tub, and asked me about my day. She got me a drink, asked me about my business, and seemed genuinely interested in learning about me.
We talked for a good 30 minutes like that – and honestly, it was one of the sexiest things she did that night (and she did a lot of sexy things).
I really enjoyed being able to talk about my day and have that communication with her, and it caused my attraction for her to really skyrocket!
Can You Make Him Want You Even If You ‘Have A Past?’
As a man, I’ve been with women who were virgins, and I’ve been with women who had slept with literally hundreds of other men.
And when it comes to ‘women who have a past,’ here’s what you need to understand.
- Men do tend to favor women who have less of a past
- Men tend to favor women who do not bring the potential for drama along with them
- Men tend to favor women who have slept with fewer men
- Men tend to be cautious of women who have a higher body count than they do (and understandably so—they understand that this type of woman is much less likely to actually respect them in a real-world sense—and respect is a key component to real desire)
Does this mean that you’re ‘screwed’ if you have a high body count, a past failed marriage, a baby daddy or two, etc.?
All of these things can impact your attraction metrics with certain men.
But here’s really what it all comes down to.
As a woman, it’s crucial that you embrace the alpha mentality, and that you start leveling up your attraction metrics and working on yourself TODAY to become a truly alpha woman—in order to help you broadcast the highest value markers possible.
The more you work on yourself and intentionally strive to level up your value metrics, the better off you’ll be when the time comes to actually land a high-value man as a long-term partner—and make him want you bad, for real!
Frequently Asked Questions About How To Make A Man Want You Bad
How to get a man’s attention
You get a man’s attention by being the most beautiful, inspirational, engaging, and charming woman in his frame.
Broadcast your value by taking care of yourself, dressing well, being charming to talk to, and making sure to be a truly high-quality female counterpart to his masculine energy.
How to make him want to see you
One thing that’s important to understand is that the ‘spark’ of attraction is either going to exist between you and another person—or it isn’t.
And the likelihood of this occurring is all based on how much work you’ve done on yourself in the area of leveling up your feminine value metrics. In other words, level up your youth cues, beauty cues, fertility cues, fidelity cures, agreeableness, and inspiration.
This will all make him more likely to want to see you, and make him want you bad!
How to make a man want you bad in bed
If you want a man to want you in bed, work on taking great care of your body. Get into great shape, and then show off those curves and that amazing physique with some style and class.
Men are highly visual creatures. This is the absolute number-one way to get a man to want you bad in bed.
For most women, the number-one key to increasing their sexiness is to hit the gym and get fit.
How to make my man want me so bad
If you already have a man, but want him to want you extra bad, start leveling up your feminine value metrics. Level up your mind, body, and spirit, and start treating him with sweetness, love, respect, kindness, and desire.
Show him that you’re willing to do all kinds of awesome stuff for him—and ‘reward his good behavior’ when you notice that he’s spending a bit more time and attention on you.
How to make him want you more
To make your man want you more, work on increasing your attraction metrics: your youth cues, beauty cues, fertility cues, fidelity cues, agreeableness, and inspiration. You can also be engaging, fun, flirtatious, charming, and easy to talk to.
Men also respect women who are respectful, and who are good listeners.
What are some toxic ways to make him want you?
As a general rule, I’m not a big fan of ‘toxic’ techniques or dating tips.
Some toxic options may include derogating your rivals, pressuring or guilting him into spending time with you, sleeping with him and then trying to make him feel guilty for not spending more time with you after, etc.
But—all of these methods tend to come with a pretty severe danger of backfiring. As a general rule, it’s always better to strive to achieve mutual romantic desire with a holistic, authentic, natural, and generally positive frame of mind.
How to make him want me again
If a man used to want you, but has since dropped off of the radar—the best thing that you can do is to reach out and take the initiative to set up a date or a hangout.
But listen—if he’s not into it and/or doesn’t give you an enthusiastic yes, it’s always better to move on. Check out this guide for some more information on this particular type of situation: How To Deal With Someone Who Led You On.
How to make a guy want you so bad it hurts
To make a guy want you so bad that it hurts, you’ll need to work on leveling-up your beauty and attraction metrics (youth, beauty, fertility, agreeableness, inspiration, etc) to an insanely high level—and then leverage that feminine beauty to really enchant him, seduce him, and make him yearn for your company and attention.
I’m going to tell you a little secret about men—the truth is that sometimes, outstandingly beautiful women, who are in outstandingly great shape and/or who are extraordinarily charming can be so beautiful that it’s literally nearly unbearable to our masculine instincts to not get to be around them and be desired by them!
Books To Help You Make Men Want You, Starting Today
By David M. Buss
If you truly want to understand the foundational principles of human mating behavior, this book is an alpha mentality MUST READ.
By Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss
This book is a MUST READ for anyone who wants to understand the complex nature of female mating behavior from a scientific and real-life perspective.
By Helen E. Fisher
If you want to truly understand the brain chemistry behind stuff like love, lust, attraction, desire, infatuation, etc. Then this book is a MUST READ.
By Vanessa Van Edwards
Every alpha must learn how to be charismatic – and this book is a MUST READ due to how well Vanessa Van Edwards teaches these skills within it. If you want to master your own charisma and level up your ability to succeed with people, this book is crucial!
By Matthew Hussey
If you’re an alpha-minded woman who wants to increase your odds of dating success, then this book is a MUST READ.
By Stephan Labossiere
If you keep finding yourself getting stuck in the same dead-end situations with men who say one thing and do another, this book is a MUST READ. It’s full of practical wisdom to help women understand some of the confusing things men do and say while dating.
In Conclusion – How To Make Him Want You Bad
Hopefully, this post has given you alpha ladies some quality information about how to get a man’s attention.
Believe it or not, men are pretty easy to figure out.
If you follow these tips, remember to be yourself, and remember that putting a little bit of effort into the situation can go a long way, you will find yourself much more likely to score that hot date with the guy you like.
Go with grace, and never give up your power!
Joshua K. Sigafus