Positive communication is absolutely crucial in life if we want to have strong relationships, friendships, and even dating relationships.
Far too much of what we see and experience in this world is negative.
Of course, you can’t control all of this. You can’t control when all bad things happen.
The only thing you can really control is yourself.
Here’s the real shit that you need to understand.
If you want to increase your attractiveness and win on the dating marketplace, then you must learn to cultivate a blend of healthy boundaries and strong, alpha-mentality positivity.
These things must exist in perfect balance. If you swing too far to one side or the other, you’ll take on low-value markers that’ll hurt your attractiveness and diminish your effectiveness in the world.
Let me tell you a story about myself…
When I was younger, I really struggled with how I communicated.
I was positive some of the time. But all too often, I’d get into angry, bitter, or resentful moods; and my communication style would reflect these moods.
I would take out my negative emotions on the people around me… sometimes without even realizing I was doing it or paying attention to how it hurt people’s feelings and/or drove people away.
As a result, many friends ended up drifting away, and people I loved stopped wanting to spend as much time with me (understandably so… I wasn’t a happy person to be around).
People started to understand that I wasn’t a positive complement to their lives. They started to see me for what I truly was… an unhappy, bitter, resentful person.
This even impacted my dating life.
Whenever I would actually manage to get a date with a woman, all I would do is complain about my life, voice my anger about things that made me angry, and spout negativity.
Is this the kind of person you want to go on a date with?
See, this was a manifestation of what was inside of me.
But I learned how to change it.
What Are The Positive Effects Of Communication?
Communication is 1000% essential for humans to survive and thrive.
When we communicate with others, we relay vital data that helps us to interact with one another intuitively. And when that communication is positive or negative, you also relay another important element through the data-transfer process… the ability to literally get into someone’s head and make them feel either more positive or more negative.
How we choose to communicate actually makes a big difference.
In fact, it’s so important that it even transcends what we say.
Have you ever heard the old saying:
“It’s not what you say, it’s how you say it.”
Well, it’s true.
Being a positive person makes a big difference for the people around us, and it makes a big difference for the people we encounter serendipitously as we move throughout our life.
Some people doubt that it matters. Some people seem not to care how their communication style impacts other people.
But I can tell you from personal experience that it makes all the difference.
- Want to make a positive difference in the world
- Want to be the type of person other people can look up to
- Desire to be seen as more attractive
- Want people to appreciate your company and value you as a positive complement to their life
… then positive communication is absolutely where you need to start.
What Are Positive Communication Techniques?
Positive communication techniques are ways of communicating that serve not just to relay information, but to also relay a positive state of mind, a higher-vibrational mood frequency, and an intuitive, even ‘subconcious’ state of greater happiness.
In this post, I’m going to go over 11 crucial alpha mentality tenants of positive communication that we all need to be striving to incorporate on a daily basis.
These tenants have served me very well over the years. Over time, I’ve learned that the more positive my communication style is, the better my life is… and the better off the lives of other people are when they spend time around me.
This isn’t just important for your dating life. It’s also a fundamental leadership skill. But even deeper than that, it’s a fundamental human skill, and speaks directly to the alpha mentality mandate to lift others up and bring value and effectiveness to every situation.
Alright. Let’s dig into it.
11 Alpha Mentality Tenants Of Positive Communication
1. Remember That Everyone Has Feelings
Empathy is a powerful alpha trait. And part of being empathetic means understanding that everyone has feelings.
Everyone is trying to do their best in life, no matter what it may look like to you. And one of the best ways to nurture positive communication in your life is to acknowledge this, and to always remember that the things you say will impact other people’s feelings.
So always strive to lift others up, as opposed to pulling them down.
2. Take Responsibility For Your Own Energy
Your energy and your mood, at the end of the day, is your responsibility.
Sure, bad things can happen that can put you into a bad mood; but if you truly want to become the type of man or woman whom others can look up to and admire, you’re going to need to learn to take responsibility for your own moods, and understand that if your mood is negative, it’s up to you to change it before it rubs off on someone else.
3. Don’t Let The Negativity Of Others Sabotage Your Own Positivity
Other people are going to act negatively sometimes. That’s just the fact of the matter.
But when they act that way toward you, you have a choice.
You can either:
- Let their negativity change your perspective
- Or meet their negativity with stronger positivity, effectively ending the cycle before it continues
It’s not always easy to be positive in the face of negativity. But we have a responsibility to try our best. And when we succeed, we just might wipe that negativity out and lift the other person up.
And that’s no small victory. That’s huge.
4. Speak Truth, But In Kindness
Sometimes it’s difficult to be positive and honest, especially when the thing we need to say is inherently unpleasant to hear.
We must be honest. There’s no substitute for this.
But if the truth is truly unpleasant, then it’s in our best interest to temper it with kindness.
Sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you say it, that makes all the difference in the world.
5. Draw Healthy Boundaries With Empathy And Respect
Sometimes, the most difficult thing to do in our relationships is to draw healthy boundaries.
This is especially true when dating.
Humans tend to swing too far in one of two directions when it comes to boundaries.
- They don’t set them, and let other people walk all over them
- They enforce their boundaries with aggression and anger instead of with kindness, empathy, and respect
We must learn to draw ironclad boundaries for ourselves and enforce them stringently. But, we must do so with kindness, empathy, and respect.
6. Always Say An Uplifting Thing
Make a habit of lifting people up whenever you get the chance.
Instead of just chatting about the weather or complaining about your boss, ask that person how their life is going and give them an uplifting compliment.
“Wow, your hair looks great today.”
“It sounds like you’re doing great at work! Good job.”
“It sounds like you’re having a stressful time. Just don’t give up. You’re awesome and I know you’ll win. Just keep at it.”
7. Hold Your Tongue And Think Twice Before Saying Something Out Of Anger
Speaking out of anger can quickly lead to aggression.
Instead of letting your anger out through your words, count to 10 and sit in silence for a brief moment.
John Gottman and Julie Schwartz Gottman describe it like this in their book A Man’s Guide To Women:
“Breathing and counting to 10 are ways of downregulating or self-soothing. When you take a deep breath you stimulate the vagus nerve, which in turn reduces your heart rate and lowers your blood pressure.”
8. Be Quick To Praise
Praising others is one of the most powerful things we can do in our relationships.
If you want to increase the quality of your relationships, start dishing out praise whenever possible.
This may sound like flattery, but don’t get it twisted.
Your goal isn’t to make a person like you.
Your goal is to help this person to have a better day as a result of coming into contact with you.
That’s a lot different, and that’s the core objective.
9. Dole Out Criticism Sparingly And With Great Care
Criticism, especially constructive criticism, is sometimes required in life.
But we should definitely think twice before doling it out. And as a general rule, you probably dole it out about 90% more often than you should.
As humans, we love to criticize others. It makes us feel better. We feel like we’re helping, but it also makes us feel smart.
But fight this instinct.
It’s so much better to praise than it is to criticize in the vast majority of cases. Criticizing is usually more about us than it is about the other person.
10. Be A Lighthouse For Positivity
Be the type of person who others can count on for positivity.
I love these types of people. And becoming one of them makes a massive difference in the world.
11. Never Apologize For Being Positive – Don’t Let Others Make You Feel Ashamed For Being A Light In The World
Make no mistake:
The world is a cold, dark, brutal, violent, malevolent place.
And believe it or not, there are some people in the world who hate positive people.
But these people are bitter, and they’re not on-center.
They might call you childish, naive, weak, etc.
But don’t get it twisted.
These things aren’t true.
In truth, it takes ultimate strength to be kind. This is especially true in dire or difficult circumstances.
It’s actually easy to be unkind, and many people take the lazy way out by executing on unkindness rather than kindness.
This doesn’t mean we should be conflict-avoidant. But it does mean that we should navigate our conflicts with grace, empathy, kindness, compassion, and respect.
In Conclusion – Positive Communication
Hopefully, this post has helped you to understand not only the need for positive communication, but also some methods that you can use to deploy it in your own life.
Be a light in the world—the type of human others can look up to and trust.
It makes a difference.
Go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power.
Joshua K. Sigafus