This one is for the ladies and gentlemen.
In this post, I want to talk about something that I’ve been thinking about today… a secret of success in life that most people overlook.
It’s important to your dating life and the results you get with it. But it’s also important to every other important thing in your life.
And it has to do with how you frame your goals and results in your mind.
This is a secret to success in life and goal-setting that I think too few people understand. And today, I’m going to share it.
Why ‘Normal’ Goal Setting Tactics Don’t Always Seem To Work
This is what a lot of people do.
When they want to change something in their life, whether they want to lose weight, get a girlfriend, get a boyfriend, get married, get a better job, make more money, or whatever kind of thing they want to do to make life better, they will do this.
They’ll think to themselves “Okay, I want to do that. So I’m going to set a goal and try it.”
Then, they may stick with it for a little while. They may give up, or they may persevere and succeed—and they may even accomplish it with great results.
But here’s the problem.
A lot of people simply fail to maintain the motivation that it takes to meet their goals.
In other words—a lot of people don’t actually succeed at accomplishing their goals.
They may really want to accomplish something, but more goals are left undone in life than accomplished.
Why? And what is the secret of success in life that will help to make the difference?
What makes the biggest difference between what you do accomplish and what you struggle to accomplish?
And then, even more importantly, what can you do to change that and start crushing your goals?
Here’s an answer that I’ve recently realized makes a massive difference.
The Secret Of Success In Life Is Simple: You Need To Shift Your Mindset And Filter Out Low Value Results And Effort
Earlier today, I was listening to a video. It was a compilation of motivational speakers who were talking about success. And I am pretty sure it was Tony Robbins who delivered the ‘aha’ moment. Here’s the video. The quote happens at about 5:37.
“We all get what we tolerate, in ourselves and in other people. But when you are no longer willing to tolerate something, that’s when your life changes.”
Tony Robbins
Here’s the thing. The biggest, most foundational changes I’ve made in my life, I have made out of an attitude of refusing to put up with a certain level of low-value results or effort anymore.
So in my dating life, when I stopped tolerating a certain type of behavior in my dating partners, and I started just immediately dismissing people who operated with low-value behavior, this is what happened.
Automatically, within a pretty short timeframe, my results just started getting better.
Why?
Because eliminating partners who displayed low-value behavior opened the door for new opportunities and new possibilities to come into my life.
But I Had To Set My Own Filter For It: The Secret Of Success In Life Requires Us To Filter Out Effort And Results That Just Aren’t Good Enough For Us Anymore
I had to simply refuse to tolerate a certain level of results.
And then, virtually overnight, the results in my dating life started to improve.
Obviously, I was also leveling up my attraction and learning how to vet partners, engage with them, connect with them, etc.
But—this was an important part of the equation that I never really thought about. I just kind of did it instinctually.
Now, when it comes to my fitness, though, the story is a little bit different.
This is something I’m going to start trying out where my workout and diet is concerned, because fitness doesn’t come as easy to me as dating does.
I’ve always thought of fitness as something that I want to do to have a better body.
I want to look better, I want to have bigger muscles, and I want to be healthier and feel better, right?
So my attitude toward it has always been like this.
- I’m going to set goals.
- I’m going to try to achieve these goals for myself
- I try, and I struggle, and I barely make any progress
Why?
I think this new approach is the answer.
Instead of thinking:
I want to set this goal and achieve this result.
I need to think like this:
I am going to refuse to tolerate sub-par effort or results on a day to day basis.
In other words, I’m going to set my filter higher—not just my goals.
So for example:
- I’m going to refuse to tolerate sugary soda drinks in my diet anymore.
- I am going to refuse to tolerate eating junk food anymore.
- I’m going to refuse to tolerate a day where I do not get my workout in.
To Make This Mentality Work, You Need To Get Serious: You Need A Chip On Your Shoulder, And You Need To Be Really F*cking Tired Of Bullsh*t Results
This is such a powerful mindset.
And I can see looking back through my life that it works. I just didn’t realize I was doing it at the time.
We need to refuse to tolerate losing and low-value results, whatever that looks like for your situation.
And we must then fill that void with winning results that compound over time.
And I’ll be honest. To really get to the heart of this mindset, you have to get a little mad about it. You need to get to a point where you just refuse to tolerate nonsense anymore.
You have to get a little bit pissed off at the results you have been getting, and you’ve got to have a chip on your shoulder.
No more of this “I’m gonna try. But what happens if I don’t succeed? I guess I’ll feel bad about myself.”
I don’t know about you. But I’m sick of that bullsh*t in my life. I’m done with sub-par results.
I want to win so badly that I can taste it. I want to win with women, with money, with my business, with my fitness—I want to conquer my life and become its ultimate master.
I think that’s the mindset we have to have. I truly believe that. And I truly believe that this mechanism is what a lot of people are lacking with their goals. This is the secret of success in life that a lot of people are missing.
They’re just not taking it to that place where they refuse to tolerate anything less.
All right, that’s gonna be it for today. Go with grace, ladies and gentlemen, and never give up your power.
This is Joshua Sigafus signing off.