Sexy dating tips.
In this post, you’re going to learn what really gets a woman’s sexual engine revving – and in contrast, I’ll also tell you what will stop her attraction to you altogether so that you can avoid those behaviors.
Women can absolutely seem complicated to us as men. But with a little bit of insight, you’ll soon find that, while they are different from us as men, they are not impossible to understand.
In my exploits and adventures with women, I’ve discovered that these 9 behaviors, when implemented correctly, are incredibly sexy – and women really love them!
Now, you have to build on these 9 things by leveling up your attraction skills as well. But these things make up a solid foundation of attraction that will really drive up your value on the sexual marketplace.
I’ve also noticed that when even ONE of these behaviors is absent, it really gets a woman’s attention. If a woman is going to break up with you, stop seeing you, or ghost you, odds are very good that you aren’t exhibiting all 9 of these behaviors.
Let’s blow the roof off this topic and get started.
#1 Sexy Dating Tip For Men: Take Ownership Over Your Life
There is nothing sexier to women than a man who owns his shit.
As powerful alpha men, we want to take ownership of our life and our choices.
Women see this as inner strength, and it is actually vitally important to them. If we do not display this, we will appear weak, and give off a definite beta vibe.
What NOT To Do
The opposite of taking ownership is having a victim mentality. So when you blame your problems on other people, you need to understand that you are going to look incredibly weak to women.
For example – don’t say “My car got towed because the stupid insurance company cancelled my insurance!”
Instead, say this. “I didn’t pay my insurance, so my car got towed. It’s fine though. I’m getting it out on Monday. It’s just a small pain in the ass.”
See the subtle difference? In one post, you’ve taken ownership of your choices. In the other, you’re complaining and blaming someone else for your problem!
#2 Be Kind
When I say ‘be kind,’ I don’t mean to pine after a woman, doing favors for her in the hopes that you will ‘serve’ your way into her pants!
What I mean by kindness is genuine human kindness.
You can even tease her and make fun of her a bit, in a playful way – but don’t cross over into actually being unkind.
Not too long ago, I was in a club, and was hitting on this really beautiful girl. She told me that she had been using a new hair-care product, and I asked if I could feel her hair, to see if it was as soft as she said it was.
When I touched her hair, I jokingly said “Uh oh, that part is a little on the dry side.” She acted a little shocked. I laughed and said “I’m just kidding, it looks really good.”
See, I remained kind while still teasing her a little bit.
What NOT To Do
If I had touched her hair a bit, then said “I don’t think you know how to do hair because yours is just bad.” And then turned away from her – that would have been rude enough that it may have low-key hurt her feelings.
If you want a woman to have a good time with you, you want to avoid hurting her feelings. So be tactful. Don’t be overly nice – but don’t be a complete asshole either!
#3 Treat Her As An Equal
Here is a subtle secret that most women won’t tell you.
They DO NOT want you to put them on a pedestal!
Do not treat a woman like a goddess unless she has literally earned it through years of faithfulness and making your life better – because trust me, she doesn’t deserve it, and she knows it.
The problem with a lot of men, though, is that they look at women as goddesses just because of how hot they are.
Let me tell you a very plain and simple truth.
A woman’s beauty does not make her more valuable than you.
So when you interact with a woman, do not hold her up on a pedestal. Talk to her kindly and with decent human respect. But aside from that, treat her like she is just a normal, everyday human.
In fact, it is better to go the opposite direction. If you act like you are just a little bit more important than her, and like you are evaluating her to see if she measures up to your standards… you can give off a powerful alpha male vibe that can really cause a woman who is interested in you to try to win your favor.
And that is a fantastic place to be when dating a woman!
What NOT To Do
Do not talk down to her like she isn’t worth as much as you, and don’t put her on a pedestal. Treat her like a human, with common human decency and respect.
#4 Be Humble And Honest
Honesty may not always be easy – but it is always the best policy, and women will respond well to it.
What I mean is this – don’t try to lie about who you are.
Don’t lie about your height on dating apps. Don’t lie about your income. Don’t try to talk yourself up bigger or better than you are.
Be down to earth and relatable. If you have accomplished big things, you can ‘humble brag’ about them to a certain point – but if you go too far, you start to just sound like a bag of hot air.
I much prefer it when men ask the woman they are dating about what she has accomplished.
Remember – if you brag, it must mean that you have something to prove. A powerful alpha male doesn’t have anything to prove. So why would he need to brag?
Bragging is a low value marker. It makes you appear weak and desperate. Instead, be calm and at peace with who and what you are.
What NOT To Do
Don’t brag. Don’t try to make yourself sound better than you are. Don’t try to hype yourself up so that she will like you more.
Just be your genuine self. If you’ve been minding your business, getting money, pursuing your purpose, and leveling up your attraction, that will be more than enough!
#5 Take Pride In Your Appearance
When I was a younger man, I used to be terrible about keeping up my appearance.
I never bought nice clothes. I dressed lazily. I didn’t keep up with current styles, and I didn’t really put any thought or effort into how I looked.
As a result? Well, I had a lot of trouble getting dates. But then later on, my marriage ended – and part of it was that my wife was ‘not attracted to me’ anymore!
Some of this was mental. But some of it was also physical.
So take pride in your appearance. In fact, this should be important to you as a man, regardless of whether you are going on a date or not!
[To really level up your physical appearance, check out this post I wrote for MaleAmbition.com : What To Wear On A First Date.]
Before going out on a date, if you don’t have a nice shirt or a nice pair of pants to wear, consider buying some.
Buy some product and style your hair. Buy some trimmers and groom your beard/moustache.
Also make sure to shower, and practice some basic hygiene!
There is no reason to show up to a date smelling like ballsack, beer, nachos, and body odor!
What NOT To Do
Don’t show up to a date without putting at least a bit of time and thought into your appearance. A little effort goes a long way!
Take pride in yourself as a man!
#6 Act Like A MAN
We live in a world where many men are literally afraid to make it known that they want to have sex.
Why?
Because they are afraid of being shamed, shut down, and rejected.
But they are also afraid of being labeled as a perv, especially in the wake of the #metoo movement. They are afraid that if they make an advance, they’ll be called out for objectifying women and sexualizing them, making them some kind of predator.
First off, check out my post on sexual shame. It will really help you if you are ashamed of wanting sex as a man.
On the flipside of this, some men act too sexually aggressive… but we will cover that topic next.
For now, we are talking about being afraid to make the interaction sexual.
Here’s the thing. If a woman is dating a man, she usually has the desire to have sex with a man.
Granted, she may not know yet if she wants to have it with you. But she at least wants to know that she is desired that way. /
You may not realize this – but being ‘too gentlemanly’ is actually a big turn off.
Women want to get down and dirty, just like men do. They just don’t want it to be forced on them.
They want to be seduced! They want the man to understand them and know what they want!
Check out my post on flirting for some additional help in this area.
If you want her, make it known. If she says no, that is totally fine! Check out my post on how to deal with rejection, brush it off, and meet some new ladies to talk to!
But you may find that she’s more into it than you realized!
What NOT To Do
Do not fall into the trap of being so afraid of a negative reaction that you never make it known that you want her sexually.
Making moves is fine! There is no shame in it! As long as you pay attention to what she says and stop trying if she says ‘no,’ you are really good to go!
So stop being so timid, and make a move!
#7 Don’t Try To Force It
Some men are too timid to make a move. But some men seem unable to take ‘no’ for an answer.
And that is an entirely separate problem.
Did you know that women rate ‘sexual violence’ as the most unpleasant thing that they can experience in a dating context?
And did you know that touching her without her consent, grabbing her butt, touching her back without making sure she is into it – all of these things have the potential to trigger that fear response in her brain?
And once you trigger that fear response, she is going to be immediately turned off.
She may even panic – especially if she’s been a victim of sexual abuse in the past.
And you may not get a chance to redeem yourself!
Before I touch a woman, I always get consent.
“Can I touch your hair?”
“Oh, I like your nails! Do you mind if I feel them?”
“What? You don’t think your booty has enough bounce? Mind if I grab it? I’ll tell you what I think.”
Even when I don’t ask for consent, I make sure that she consents.
For example – I don’t always ask a woman if she wants me to kiss her. I go for it. But as I move in to kiss her, I pay very careful attention to her body language.
If she pulls away at all, or makes any kind of motion that would indicate she isn’t interested in that, I abort the mission.
I also pay attention to the kiss. Is she leaning into it? Is she touching me while we are kissing? Is she ‘kissing me back’?
If so, she is probably into it.
Is she trying to pull away? Is she acting a bit stiff? It may mean that I should cut it short, because she may not be into it.
It’s easy to make sure that she wants you to touch her before you do. You just need to make sure that you’ve got the green light.
Safety and security are incredibly important to women. Most women really need to know that they are safe before they can let loose and have fun.
What NOT To Do
Do not grab a woman’s butt, touch her leg, or otherwise touch her in intimate ways, unless you have either asked, or made sure that you’re getting positive signals from her.
You definitely don’t want to activate that fear response in her. Otherwise, the date (and your chances with her) will likely be ruined beyond repair!
#8 Be Confident And Sure Of Yourself
One of the cringiest things that men can do during a date is to denigrate themselves in front of a woman.
Sometimes men do this out of a sheer sense of self-loathing. Other times, they are fishing for compliments.
In both cases, it is a huge turn-off, and you can pretty much expect her to dry up and clamp her legs together instantly.
Why?
Because women are incredibly attracted to confident men – and they are NOT attracted to men who lack confidence.
If you don’t like yourself, why should she like you?
If you have nothing good to say about yourself, why should she even be on a date with you?
So speak well of yourself. Embody the true alpha male spirit, and give yourself credit where credit is due. Be as quick to recognize and acknowledge your strengths as you are your weaknesses.
You don’t want to be full of hot air – but you do want to hold yourself with confidence, and project that confidence when you walk into a room.
Check out this post for tips on how to level up your confident alpha-male body language!
What NOT To Do
Don’t talk down about yourself. Don’t fish for compliments. Don’t pity yourself or act like a victim.
Remember, you are a powerful, high-status man. Hold your head high, keep your shoulders straight, and fully embody it… not only in your body language, but also in your conversation.
#9 Have Goals, Passion, And A Purpose
Men who are floundering or drifting in life may be fun for an evening or as friend. But even then, your lack of goals and ambition will send many women running for the hills!
As men, it is in our best interest to have a mission and a purpose in life.
Not only does this make us happier, and give us a sense of purpose… but women are literally programmed by evolution to be more interested in men who have ambition and a life-goal!
If you are not sure what your purpose is, check out this post.
Start doing some deep thinking about your life.
Where do you want to be in 5, 10, and 20 years? What do you want to accomplish?
What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?
If you haven’t thought about these things yet, start thinking about them!
You’d be surprised at how attractive it is to women when men are passionate about something and have a plan for the future!
What NOT To Do
Do not drift aimlessly through life with no plan, ambition, or goals for the future.
If you are content to live in your parent’s basement, smoke weed, get drunk, and play video games without making plans for the future – you’re going to be hard-pressed to find a high value woman who will spend time with you!
Not only will this lead to a listless life devoid of meaning and fulfillment, but it is also a huge low-value marker on the dating market!
In Conclusion – 9 Sexy Dating Tips For Men To Level Up Your Dating Game
These tips might not seem very sexy to us as men. But don’t get it twisted.
These are the things that women are looking for!
Far too many men think that the secret to hot, sexy dates is in how fast you can get her into bed.
But the truth is far from that!
Great, sexy dates are built on a foundation of awesome chemistry, connection, and hope for the future.
And these 9 things are going to do so much to level up the potential for connection and chemistry.
So level up these 9 things, and start going out and meeting some women! I think you’ll find that your dating life will improve a lot after implementing these 9 simple, but very important things!
Go with grace my friends, and never give up your power.
See you on the next one.
Joshua K. Sigafus