Should I cheat on my girlfriend?
The answer is a big ‘no,’ but probably not for the reason you might think!
I have a lot to say about this topic. But it’s actually really simple.
Let’s dive in.
The Basics: Should I Cheat On My Girlfriend/Wife?
Let’s take a moment to define the term.
For the sake of this article, we are going to adopt a very simple definition for the term ‘cheating.’
Cheating is any romantic or sexual activity that takes place with someone other than your partner, that you and your partner have not agreed is acceptable and permissible to engage in.
I’m going to get right to the point on this.
Any man or woman who cheats on their partner is acting in a cowardly fashion… because they are not willing to be open, honest, and communicative about something that they actually want in life.
Is It Wrong To Want Sex With Someone Other Than Your Partner?
No. There is zero shame in wanting something that will make you a happier person, as long as you are not victimizing someone else along the way.
(And no… you wanting to have sex with someone else does not victimize your girlfriend… unless you lie to her and/or try to manipulate her by not being honest.)
Men and women are going to be attracted to other people. That is just science.
They are going to, at least in part, want to kiss, fantasize-about, flirty, and possibly even have sex with other people besides their main partner. And it is totally natural.
And to be honest, this isn’t even a question of what is ‘right or wrong.’
This is a question of ‘what is agreed to,’ ‘what you want as a person,’ and ‘how honest you are going to be about what you want.’
It is also an issue of honoring your standing agreements.
This is why I am non-monogamous. But… I am openly non-monogamous, and I make no bones about it.
Anyone who gets involved with me knows that I am not going to live my life as a one-woman man. And if anyone doesn’t like that, they are welcome to walk out of my life at any time, and I will not hold it against them.
Here’s What Is Really Happening When You Cheat…
There are a number of things that happen when you cheat. Let’s go through the most important ones.
- You are actively choosing to be sexually active with someone
- You are not brave enough to tell your partner what you want
- You are not taking ownership over your life, and would rather sneak around than be honest
- You are letting other people dictate the terms of your life by not standing up for what you want
- You are betraying the trust of someone very close to you, which is not only unwise, but a recipe for disaster that will most likely invite feelings of retribution and revenge (especially if you are legally married)
- You destroy your good name, making it much less likely that people will trust you again in the future
Should I Cheat On My Girlfriend If She Refuses To Open Up Our Relationship?
No. You should be brave enough to stand up for what you want and openly discuss it.
And if she doesn’t want something that is really really important to you, you need to be brave enough to kindly and respectfully walk away from her so that you can go move on and find what you both want.
Do you see the difference here?
When you sneak around without telling, you are actually giving away all of your power to other people.
You are acting so timidly that you are even afraid to stand up to your partner and be honest!
You are also trying to have the best of everything. You want to have your cake and eat it too.
Well, people who behave this way might get through life achieving a distant shadow of what they truly want… but they will NEVER achieve anything great with such a mindset and behavior pattern.
This is not the alpha male way.
This is beta-male behavior. This is the behavior of weaker men and women who don’t have the backbone to stand up for what they want in the open.
Do I believe that people who cheat are bad people? No, I don’t.
Do I believe that they are unwise? Yes.
Do I believe that they would find more happiness in life if they were honest about what they wanted, and brave enough to pursue it?
That is why I am writing this post. I want every human in this world to just be honest about what they want!
Life is so much better when we take personal responsibility for ourselves, stand up on our own two feet, and go after what makes us happy!
How Would An Alpha Male Handle This Situation?
If an alpha male wants to have sex with another woman who is not his partner, he should let his partner know that he has this desire.
They can then discuss it, and see where they both end up.
Maybe they can come to an agreement that is acceptable for both of them?
Or, maybe they can’t.
If they cannot come to an agreeable arrangement, that must mean that they are no longer compatible… and instead of cheating, getting mad, or fighting about it, they should both just walk away.
But of course, it isn’t usually this simple… and the reason for this is because people are scared, and allow their fear of loss and being alone to drive them to act in a fearful manner.
But this speaks directly to the second vow of my personal alpha male code, the Oath of Kings.
You see, we do not have any right to demand that someone love us, or do everything we want.
At the same time, we have a very important responsibility to always pursue what we believe to be best.
We must all love ourselves first… and we must set other people free from the requirement to do the same.
Maybe loving yourself means pursuing another sexual relationship. Maybe this is what is best for you.
But either way, a powerful man will give his partner the choice to continue forward with him in this or not.
Because anything less than this is either you trying to control someone, or you trying to lie to someone… and both of these behaviors have the potential to bring great chaos and ruin upon not only your life, but also your tribe.
This Is Not The Way Of The Alpha Male – This Is Not How A Powerful Or Wise Man Conducts Himself
When we fear our partners leaving us, we become weak. This fear cripples us and causes us to behave irrationally.
When I was a young man, I was first exposed to this way of thinking by Ken Keyes and his 12 Pathways To Higher Consciousness, the first of which is this…
Instead, we must be willing to be true to ourselves always… and we have a responsibility to always seek after what we want, and pursue it, in all circumstances.
And if this means that we walk alone for a time… well, so be it. Every powerful alpha will find himself here at some point, at least for a little while.
So now you see why I say that a true alpha male would never cheat on his wife or girlfriend.
Because in doing so, he is only giving away his own power and dishonoring himself.
A true alpha will be honest about what he wants. And if he and his partner cannot come to an arrangement that works for both of them, he will have the courage and strength to remain kind and respectful to her as he walks away.
This is how a powerful man pursues what he wants without trying to control other people.
He does not threaten. He does not get caught up in drama. He does not get caught up in lies.
He does not whine or complain that he cannot get his way.
He does what he pleases, with openness and honesty, always trying to behave wisely… understanding that there are consequences for all of our actions an inactions.
And he knows that he must be true to himself and sure of what he wants. Then, he will have the peace of mind, and the strength of character, to act on it.
Go with grace, my friends… from this day, until your last day. And never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus