The number one sign that she’s into you!
Last week, I had an interaction with a lady that really brought to my attention how easy it can be to waste time on women who are ‘fickle.’
And it reminded me of just how important it is to watch for the most important sign that a woman is really into you!
Now, let me just make sure that everyone understands what I mean.
When I use the term ‘fickle,’ I mean it in the literal sense of the word.
“Changing frequently, especially as regards one’s loyalties, interests, or affection.”
Now, all humans change their minds from time to time.
But this is a lot different from someone who just can’t seem to figure out what they want!
And this ties into the biggest sign to look for in figuring out whether or not a woman actually wants to spend time with you, or is just playing you!
Spoiler alert: If she really wants to hang out with you, SHE WILL ACTUALLY HANG OUT WITH YOU!
Let me tell you the story…
Here’s How It Started
I matched with a woman on a dating app.
We talked for a little bit. She was (and probably is) actually really cool.
We texted a bit, and I asked her for her number so that I could call her.
Tried to call, got no answer.
She texted back a while later, said that she was sorry but that she had been on the phone with a friend who needed to talk.
We chatted a bit more. It was getting late though, and I was about to do a bit of driving, so asked her if she felt like jumping on that phone convo now.
She said that she was a bit ‘mentally exhausted.’
Now… this is the first thing to notice, gentlemen. She didn’t give me an actual no.
She said that she was ‘mentally exhausted.’
So, reading between the lines, I assumed that this was either one of two things.
Either she was trying to hint that she was not yet ‘physically’ exhausted (possibly hinting at getting together), or she was trying to politely tell me ‘no’ to the phone call without telling me no.
Now, Here Is Where It Gets Tricky
I am going to preface this next part by saying this: I understand that when it comes to dating and attraction, that there needs to be an element of mystery.
But I think that a LOT of people think that ‘cultivating mystery’ means something other than what it actually means.
I also think that high value women need to learn how to communicate a bit more clearly.
Anyway, I dug a little bit deeper.
She told me that she felt like drinking.
Ok, you can see how this is taking shape.
After a bit more talking, I suggested that I come over to her place and bring a bit of drinkage with me for the two of us to enjoy.
She started talking about how that would be fun – but didn’t specifically say yes or no to my proposal.
Why Do Women Have Such A Problem With Answering ‘Yes,’ Or ‘No?’
Men, sometimes women don’t want you to ask. They feel like it ruins the moment, and they romanticize the idea of you just taking control.
But in this situation, that is not what is going on. I was literally taking the initiative, trying to make a plan – and she was skirting around it, continuing to talk to me, continuing to talk about how much fun that would be… but without telling me the address or taking the plan further.
Now, at this point, I figured that one of two things was happening.
A guy she was actually more interested in was not giving her straight answers, and she was trying to make a backup plan with me – or she was having some kind of nervousness about settling on a plan.
To be fair, I do not know which of these ended up being true.
She kept skirting around my offer, and after a couple of texts, I really laid it down. I said this.
“Alright… I feel like you have put out there that you would like some company. So would I. If you don’t want to hang tonight, no problem. I think we should, and would like to! So, final answer. Want to hang? I’ll bring some shots… It’ll be chill. No worries if your house is a mess! I’ve been there! But my day has been pretty crazy. And unwinding a bit would be cool!”
She replied with this…
“I WANT to hangout and do something. But I know me. I’d feel like I’d have to play hostess and keep you entertained and embarrassed. I’m sorry. Just cause we’ve never met. But I do VERY MUCH like the directness. Are you gonna be up for awhile or…?”
The Number One Sign That She’s Into You – Guys, This Is What You Need To Know
There are two types of women in this world, men. There are women who actually want to hang out with you, and there are women who actually do not consider spending time with you a priority.
If this woman really wanted to hang out with me on that night, she would have jumped at the opportunity.
I do not know what was going on. I don’t know if she was truly anxious about her house, I don’t know if she was trying to have another guy over and keep me as a ‘back pocket dick,’ or what was going on.
But at the end of the day, I share this to tell you to be careful about getting led down this rabbit hole by ‘fickle’ women who seem wishy washy about hanging out.
I’m not saying that I wouldn’t maybe give her another chance… but the point here is that I would be looking for a sign that she actually wants to hang out, and I would be requiring her to take initiative and put some effort into it.
I’m too old, too successful, and too high-value to hold a woman’s hand as we try to schedule something. It shouldn’t be like pulling teeth! It should feel easy and effortless, especially at first when the energy is high.
If you are both grown adults, there is no reason that you can’t work together to make a plan, or be honest about why such a plan is not taking shape.
When I Met My Girlfriend, She Jumped At The Chance To Spend Time With Me
And that is just how it should be. If a woman doesn’t actually seem to be willing to put forth her part of the effort to meet, maybe walk away and just leave it alone.
When I met my girlfriend, guess what.
She added me on social media.
She made plans to come hang out with me when I invited her.
She said yes and gave me concrete answers, and settled on a time frame. She actually worked with me to make a plan to hang out.
Why? Because she wanted to, and it showed.
(Note, we are still together after two and a half years, by the way! We are in an open relationship, which was why I was talking to this lady in the first place.)
I’m not trying to say that this other lady is a bad person.
I am not even necessarily trying to say that she is a ‘fickle’ person. In all honesty, I don’t know her very much at all.
But I AM saying that men need to be careful not to waste their time.
If a woman truly wants to spend time with you, she will absolutely jump at the chance to do so. She will make an effort.
That is the number one sign that she’s into you!
Look for that effort, men. And don’t settle for less.
Hopefully this post will help you to understand what to look for.
Don’t get tied up running games with fickle women.
If you are wanted, and if she is serious about spending time together and investing with you, she will make the plan with you.
It won’t feel like pulling teeth. It will come together and feel easy.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power!
Joshua K. Sigafus