I close out nearly every blog post with this…
… go with grace, my friends, and NEVER give up your power…
You might also notice that the first vow of the Oath of Kings, my personal alpha-male code, says this…
But what does all of this mean? And why do I keep telling men to ‘reclaim their power from the chaos?’
Well, in this post, you’re going to learn!
Let’s dive in.
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Alright, now let’s continue this discussion.
Taking Back Your Power… What Does It Mean?
Every man has two opposing, but equally important forces that exist within him.
There is the intellectual self, and the emotional self.
Our intellectual self is composed of our ability to reason, think rationally, and to govern ourselves and our own lives with a healthy dose of intelligence and wisdom.
In other words, this is the thinking part. We think about what is best, we reason, we try to think rationally about how we should act, and then we act.
On the other side of the coin is our emotional self.
This is the part associated with feelings, emotions, and reactions.
It is very important to understand two things.
- We will always have emotional reactions as humans
- We do not need to act on those emotional reactions, and we should sometimes try not to
Let me explain.
Here Is An Example Of Reacting Emotionally
I am a freelance writer by trade.
Let’s use me as an example.
Let’s say that I walk into a meeting with a potential client. We are meeting over coffee to discuss me writing a series of blog posts for his website.
We exchange greetings, order our coffee and sit down.
I ask him what he is looking for. I ask him questions about his site, to figure out exactly what he needs.
Then, I give him the pitch.
He seems to like what I have to say. He also seems to like the questions I am asking about his website.
He asks me how much I would charge.
I give him the price.
He balks. He obviously expected for me to quote him less.
Ruffled, he hastily replies “I will be honest, Josh, I don’t feel like your writing is good enough for you to ask for that much. Maybe half that price would be more fair! You are not as professional as your price suggests!”
In this instant, I may feel several things… and feel is a key-word here.
I will probably feel…
- Surprised by his response
- Angry that he would propose that I am unprofessional
- Disappointed that I did not make the sale (at least, not yet)
- Irritated that I spent all of this time on a pitch, just to have him insult my professionalism
I am a human. And like me, most humans will have feelings.
And as humans, we all have reactions.
As you saw above, I had at least four separate, distinct internal reactions that all happened in response to a certain stimulus… in this case, the potential client who rejected my services and insulted my work.
Now, this is where intellect should kick in. Let me explain.
How We Can Use Intellect To Control Our Reactions
When something that I perceive as ‘negative’ happens to me, I am very likely to have a ‘negative’ internal emotional response to it.
I may feel angry, hurt, frustrated, irritated, etc.
This is not a problem. We all experience this. And in some cases, this is a very good thing.
For example… the surge of adrenaline, anger, and fear that kicks in when I see someone I love getting mugged right in front of me may spur me to immediate, decisive action… and my action might save their life.
And so, in such a case, reacting emotionally and instinctively is actually in my best interest.
But in our modern world, thankfully, there are many, many occasions where acting on these base impulses and emotions is not the proper course of action.
Yes, we might get really angry when the clerk at the gas station doesn’t give us the right change, and continues to insist that they did… but this ‘anger’ that we feel doesn’t justify taking a club and smacking them over the head!
In such a case, a better idea is to ask to speak to the manager, and to try to get the situation resolved peacefully.
The answer to this is actually very simple.
In our modern society, it is almost always in our better interest to react ‘rationally’ to situations, rather than ‘emotionally.’
If we clubbed the gas station clerk who didn’t give us enough change, we would be arrested and sent to jail for assault and battery! That would end up costing us far more than the 10 or 20 dollars he/she miscounted and failed to give us.
Reacting emotionally to situations can also make us easy to manipulate.
For example… if someone tries to ‘goad’ you into physically or verbally attacking them, either to make you look bad, or to actually get you into trouble, reacting emotionally will likely lead you right into the trap… while reacting ‘rationally’ will make you aware of it and keep you out of it.
There are many, many reasons for why you should react ‘rationally’ to situations, rather than acting ‘emotionally.’
Are Emotions Pointless?
Absolutely not. In fact, as healthy men, we need emotions just as much as we need rationality.
For example… the ‘guilt’ or ‘remorse’ emotion may help us to realize that we do not wish to repeat a certain action again. But, we need to balance this with ‘rationality’ to avoid being guilted into avoiding something that actually needs to be done.
Our ‘affection’ emotion can motivate us to perform loving acts for our children and loved ones.
But if we are not careful, this ‘affection’ emotion can also cloud our judgement.
If we act only on the impulse of ‘wanting to do nice things’ for our children, we might feed them nothing but candy when they beg for it.
So, we need to allow our ‘rationality’ to control our reactions to our children begging for candy, so that we can make wise, healthy, positive choices.
Of course, without emotions, we are faced with just as big a problem.
We would never feel affection for our children. If this were the case, we might be much less motivated to perform loving acts for them.
We would never feel anger… which is a very important emotion for figuring out when we are being slighted or taken advantage of.
We would never feel remorse… which means that we would never have the opportunity to self-moderate and self-correct certain types of negative behavior.
A Healthy, Powerful Man Needs Both
As men on the alpha male journey, we need both our emotions and our intellect to make the best choices for ourselves.
We must learn to balance this, to pay attention to both, and take the best of what both sides of us are offering… and then formulate a productive, wise, calculated response and action in every situation, using both emotional and intellectual information.
This is how we react properly and accordingly… according to both our evolved human nature, and to the requirements, needs, and unique complexities of the situation at hand.
So What Does This Have To Do With Taking Our Power Back From The Chaos?
When we react strictly according to our emotions, we are allowing chaos to dominate our responses.
Why? Because our emotions are fickle.
The information they feed us about our current situation is often useful, at least to a point.
If we do not temper our response, and if we react according to these emotions without regulating our actions with logic, that information can very quickly become destructive.
Logic, reason, and rationality are orderly.
Emotion is chaos.
And of course, all of life is a balance between these two equal, but opposing forces.
They are yin and yang.
They are opposite, yet equal.
And as men, we need to harness and utilize both of them to do the right thing in every given situation.
This Is How We Take Our Power Back From The Chaos…
… by tempering our emotional responses with logic, reason, and rationality.
Because when we do this, we gain control of our bodies, minds, and responses.
If we only react emotionally, we are actually placing ourselves at the fickle mercy of not only our own biological impulses and chemical reactions, but also of the universe itself, and whatever other provocations or stimuli other humans may throw at us.
Your biological responses want you to survive in the short term. So while you need them, they are not giving you everything you need to make the the best choice right now.
Your chemical responses are specifically formulated to drive your instinct to survive. They are not necessarily formulated to give you the tools you need, in the short-term, to make the wisest choices for yourself right now, in the context of our modern world.
The universe certainly isn’t going to make good choices for you… and other humans are not going to help you behave, either! They are just going to do what they do… which is, to you, pure chaos… because you have no control over it.
And so, the only thing you can actually, completely trust in this entire situation is your own rational mind.
This is why it is so important that, as men, we behave wisely and rationally in every situation… thinking and using logic before we act on our impulses or emotional responses.
When We Give-In To Our Emotions, We Give Away Our Power
This is the pure, honest truth of it.
When you succumb to the temptation to make a poor decision based on emotion, you give away your power… you give it away to the universe, to the humans who goaded you… to the chaos.
And at that point, you have only yourself to blame.
Because only we can control ourselves. Only WE have the ability to control our power.
If We Can Master The Ability To Frame Our Lives With Order Instead Of Chaos, We Will Be That Much More Likely To Be Successful
This is true of everything in life.
This is true in business, with high-value women, with our families, with our tribes, with our hobbies, with our craft, with wealth-building… with everything.
We must behave with balanced amounts of emotion and logic… and in doing so, we take back our power from the chaos, and we bring it back within ourselves.
We take back our power by controlling ourselves, and by tempering our emotional responses with logic, reason, and rationality.
Conclusion – How To Take Back Your Power From The Chaos
Hopefully, this post has shown you, in a very clear and concise way, how to take back your power from the chaos around you.
This takes time and practice, but it is incredibly worthwhile!
So, now that you understand exactly what this means… go with grace, my friends… and never give up your power!
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus