You’ve probably heard it said that your network is your net worth… and to a point, this is true.
On the alpha journey, we have a responsibility to cultivate high-value friendships and relationships.
Jim Rohn once said…
“You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.”
I know that some people have gone on the record for saying that this isn’t exactly true.
But in my life experience, and with everything that I’ve seen and done, this has proven to be 100% true.
The problem that you run into with it, of course, is that it’s not always easy to find five good friends who will challenge you and help to level you up in life.
Hell, it can be hard to find one or two great friends of this caliber.
There are a lot of really good people in the world.
Finding friends who are cool to hang out with and who are capable of having a basic overall positive impact on your day isn’t that difficult.
But finding friends, colleagues, and contacts who will actually challenge you and elevate you on your journey to becoming truly alpha is a rare thing in this world.
Personally, I’ve only known a handful of these types of people in my life…
Truly great people who challenged me to become even greater when we spent time together…
This is what we should all be trying to find while searching for friendships on the alpha journey.
(By the way, if you’re not sure what all of this ‘alpha journey’ stuff is about, download my free ebook: An Introduction To The Alpha Mentality: The Evolutionary Key To Succeeding At Dating, Relationships, Business, Fitness, And Everything Else That Matters. It’ll explain everything you need to know to get a basic understanding of what it means.)
We shouldn’t settle for anything less than excellence where our goals and aspirations are concerned.
And this should encapsulate the quality of our relationships and friendships.
To be really honest, your intimate partner (i.e. your girlfriend/boyfriend, or wife/husband) should also fit into this category.
Here’s why partner selection (and friendship selection) is so important.
The People You Spend Time With And Interact With The Most Are Going To Have A Dramatic Impact On How Effectively You Level Up As A Human
There are just no two ways about this.
So it’s in your best interest to take this aspect of life very seriously if you really want to create success for yourself.
Personally, I always ask myself a few different questions when I’m meeting someone new, to help me determine if they may be the type of person who can actually help me to level up on the alpha journey—to help me become a better version of myself.
(Obviously, we need to be able to bring something similar to this person as well. It’s not a one-way street. For this reason, we also need to constantly be striving to help, encourage, uplift, challenge, motivate, and be of value to other high-value people as well. Quality begets quality—and this is a million % true in relationships.)
Here are some of the questions that I ask whenever meeting a new person and vetting them to see if they may actually make good ‘alpha mentality friendship material’:
- Is this person further ahead on the journey than me?
- Is this person putting effort into leveling up to be a true alpha?
- Is this person striving to mind their business, get their money, and pursue their purpose in life?
- Does this person understand what their mission and purpose in life truly are?
- Is this person constantly working on themselves to be 1% better every day?
- Does this person have better habits than me?
- Does this person hold themselves and others to a high standard of excellence?
- Does this person outperform me in their life’s endeavors on a daily basis?
- Does this person have an alpha code of integrity that they stand by and live in accordance with?
- Is this person encouraging and uplifting as opposed to being pessimistic or negative?
If you can answer ‘yes’ to all of these questions when you’re hanging out with a new person, there’s a high likelihood that this is going to be the quality of human who will really help you to increase your own value and make progress along your path.
And hopefully, you can find several of these types of people to spend time with.
Now, here’s where the challenge comes in.
What If You Can’t Find Other Alphas To Spend Time With?
The further along you get on this journey, the more difficult it’s going to be to find these types of people.
Not that these types of people don’t exist, or that there aren’t plenty of them to go around.
It’s just that they tend to run in more elite and exclusive circles.
This is partly because they’re protecting their own energy and time from being wasted by low-value company.
But it’s also true that as you level up, there are going to be fewer and fewer people who can actually offer you something of substance.
With that being said, this is partly why I created the Joshua Sigafus Mastermind Tribe, as a place where people who want to find that kind of company can come together, engage in community, and just in general grow together, encourage one another, hold each other accountable, and challenge one another.
This is actually really important.
And I’ve seen it do a lot of good for the members of my community.
Hell, it’s also been good for me!
Hanging around other like-minded people who are on the same journey has helped me to level up my own alpha game. It’s also helped me to just become a better version of myself.
What To Do If You Don’t Know Any Other Alpha Winners In Your Life
If you’re struggling to find high-value friends, then you may be faced with a problem that’ll become detrimental to your journey in the long run if you don’t deal with it now.
Firstly, it’s really important that you try to meet people who are on the same journey as you—or who are at least on a similar journey, who are ahead of you in the game.
However, in the absence of locating these types of people, you can supplement these relationships by consuming content that was created by people who fall into this category.
For example, I’ve spent hours listening to podcasts and YouTube videos of amazing people like Steve Harvey, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dwayne Johnson, Gary Vaynerchuk, and Jordan Peterson… for exactly this purpose.
To grow as an alpha, and to learn from other people who are further along on the journey than I am.
On most days, I will listen to at least an hour of this type of content on my breaks, while I’m driving, during meals, etc.
This isn’t quite as good as spending actual time in the presence of these great men, but it’s pretty darn close.
And it’s definitely better than spending real time with humans who are losers—who just don’t care about achieving better results in life, sacrificing to level up their alpha characteristics, and/or who are negative, pessimistic, or just in general live with a beta mentality attitude.
Listening To Great People Will Help To Make You Great
When you end up spending more time every week listening to the messages of great ‘success titans’ and thought mentors like the men I mentioned earlier, great things start happening to you in life.
You start to see the world in a different light.
- You start to see opportunity instead of hopelessness.
- You start to see positivity instead of negativity.
- You start to become optimistic instead of pessimistic.
- And you start to realize that you have a lot of power over the creation of your own destiny—if you’ll take responsibility for yourself, do the work, and keep showing up.
Remember, progress is progress.
And if you keep making it, you’re bound to succeed eventually—if you stick with it long enough.
And it’s a hell of a lot easier to go on this journey and succeed when you’re spending more time in the company of great men and women who are capable of lifting you up, encouraging you, sharing wisdom, challenging you, kicking your butt with a good heart when you miss-step, and just in general inviting you to walk alongside them on their own more advanced alpha journeys.
And of course, once you get to the point where you’re making serious progress in your journey, you’ll also likely find yourself taking ‘fledgling alphas’ under your wings to give them a bit of guidance and encouragement as well.
This is a beautiful thing.
This speaks to the importance of mentorship and leadership, and friendship should tie closely in with these things.
That’s all I’ve got for this one.
Go with grace my friends, and never give up your power.
Until next time…
This is Joshua K. Sigafus, signing off!