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tinder texting tips

28 Tinder Texting Tips For Men

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Tinder isn’t my favorite dating app… 

But, it’s somewhat useful. And a lot of people use it to try to expand their social circles and meet new dating partners. 

So in this post, I’m going to give the men in my audience 28 Tinder texting tips, to help them level-up the quality of their conversations. 

Let’s jump right into it. 

28 Tinder Texting Tips For Men

What’s A Good First Message On Tinder?

Whats A Good First Message On Tinder

Sending a good first message is important. It establishes rapport, and gives her a first-impression idea about the kind of guy you are. 

Here are my Tinder messaging tips for sending the first messages. 

1. Try To Stand Out

Don’t lead with a boring ‘Hi.’ Or ‘What’s up?’

Try to make it more interesting than that. 

2. Use Something From Her Bio

I find that it works pretty well to come right out talking about things that she has listed in her bio. 

If she put her zodiac sign in the bio, you might lead with…

“Well hello gemini creature!”

3. Don’t Start Out With A Compliment

“I must say, you have beautiful eyes.” 

“I love your smile!”

“Your lips are just so incredible!”

Guys, don’t give out these types of compliments… especially in the first message. 

Compliment her when the two of you go on a date, or when you’re having sex. Not via messenger, and not in the first message. 

It makes you seem clingy and desperate. 

4. Say ‘Hello’ Without Saying ‘Hello’ 

This is one of my favorite Tinder texting tips.

I like to say ‘Hello’ in different languages, just for fun. 

I might say “Bonjour, mademoiselle” or something similar. 

How To Start A Conversation On Tinder?

How To Start A Conversation On Tinder

Once you’ve made her acquaintance, it’s time to start a conversation. 

Women like it when a man can stimulate their mind and intellect. 

So jump into a conversation and start engaging with her. 

Here are my tips for messaging on tinder when you want to start a conversation.

5. Jump To Something More ‘Personal’ Than The Weather

Try to make the beginning of your conversation more interesting than super mundane things.

Start out by asking her about something in her bio. Try to learn about her. 

6. Ask Her An Interesting Question

Make sure that you ask open-ended questions, and try to avoid too many ‘yes’ and ‘no’ questions. 


Because you want to hear her explain things. This will get her to open up more, and give you a better idea of what type of person she is. 

7. Don’t Ask Obvious Things

Sometimes, you may go to ask a question that has an obvious answer. 

For example, you may ask her what she does for a living… when her job is literally listed in her bio. 

Instead of asking the ‘obvious’ question, ask her about her job. 

“I see that you’re a sales manager. Do you enjoy it?”

8. Don’t Be Afraid To Challenge Her

If she makes statements or takes stances that you don’t agree with, don’t shy away from challenging her… as long as you do it respectfully and with kindness. 

Some guys are afraid that the woman won’t like them if they challenge her. But if you never challenge her when you disagree, you’ll come off like a beta who doesn’t think for himself.

And women aren’t attracted to that. 

How Do You Successfully Chat On Tinder? Tinder Texting Tips For Winners…

How Do You Successfully Chat On Tinder

Successfully chatting, holding a conversation, getting a number, and/or setting up a date involves a number of successful steps.

Here are my messaging on tinder tips for having an overall successful conversation. 

9. Be Yourself – Don’t Overthink It

Don’t think too hard about it. 

Just be yourself. Be genuine, and don’t make Tinder a ‘super important’ thing for you. 

Most guys take it way too seriously. Don’t let it get you worked up! 

10. Attempt To Dig A Bit Deeper When The Opportunity Presents Itself

When she says something that strikes you as interesting, don’t be afraid to pry a bit deeper to learn more. 

“That’s interesting, what do you mean by that?”

“Hmmm… explain.” 

These are great ways to ask her to expound, and is a great way to get her to open up. 

11. Attempt To Build Connection As You Chat

If you can manage it, try to learn some little personal details about her…like her favorite movie, her favorite song, or a memory she has from her childhood. 

When she shares this with you, share something of equal value in return. 

This is how you build connection. 

12. Don’t Spend Too Much Time On One Topic

Some guys really spend too much time on individual topics. 

Try to bounce around different topics and keep things interesting. 

Remember, this ‘text convo’ is all you have to win her over with! 

Use your communication skills to your advantage! 

13. Don’t Bring Up Sex Unless She Does

Bringing up sex puts you into a position where you automatically run a high risk of seeming desperate and clingy. And that’s super unattractive. 

To prevent it, make sure that your goal is to get her to go on a date with you. If the date goes well, you can make a move, go in for a kiss, etc. 

That’s how an alpha mentality man broaches the topic of sex… by seducing her into the bedroom! 

Should You Message Someone Right Away On Tinder?

Should You Message Someone Right Away On Tinder

I believe that it’s in a man’s best interest to message first on Tinder. 

As men, we need to be proactive if we want to get a lady’s attention. And messaging first is the alpha mentality thing to do. 

14. Make Tinder Swiping An ‘Event’ 

Rather than hastily making an account and swiping away, schedule an hour or two to properly set up your profile and get started.

Leave some time open to respond to matches and have conversations. 

Think of it as ‘playing a video game,’ but different. 

If you’re going to do it, at least do it right!

15. Try To Message Her As Soon As You Match

The absolute best time to match with a lady is right after you match with her. The energy is high, and if she’s interested at all, this is your best chance to make a good impression and get her attention. 

16. Avoid Waiting Too Long After You Match With Someone To Message Them

If you don’t get the chance to message back right away, at least try to get to it within 24 hours. Wait beyond this, and your chances of getting serious messages back really start to decline. 

17. Try To Message Back Promptly When You Get Messages

If a lady you are interested in messages you, try to message back promptly. 

I believe that this is respectful, shows that you’re a professional man, and that you value time as an essential resource. 

I think that men and women who just drop out of conversations for days and then pop back up are actually really disrespectful and rude… and personally, I’m to a point in my life where I just say ‘bye’ to people who drop out of convos like that. 

18. Keep Several Conversations Going At Once

I always keep about 7 conversations going on Tinder, give or take, when I’m actually trying to get somewhere with it. 

This helps to keep you from getting bored and over-texting one woman. But it also helps you to be spreading out your time to figure out which ladies might make the most suitable prospects. 

How Do You Flirt Over Text On Tinder?

How Do You Flirt Over Text On Tinder

Flirting over Tinder is a subtle art. You need to be careful that you don’t over-do it. 

But a little bit of flirting goes a long way, because not many men are very good at it. 

Here are my best tips for how to flirt via text on Tinder. 

19. Don’t Be Afraid To Investigate Her Beliefs/Ideas

When she tells you about what she believes, don’t be afraid to pry deeper. Get her to open up to you. 

When she opens up to you, it makes her more emotionally vulnerable, which opens the door to flirting. 

20. When She Makes Statements, Gently Tease Her Or Give Her A Hard Time About Some Of Them

You can flirt with a bit of humor if you do it right. Avoid doing this when she says very serious or meaningful things, and don’t try to hurt her feelings. 

But joking around a bit and poking a tiny bit of fun at her can be a great way to lighten the mood. A little teasing never hurt anyone, and you just might make her laugh or rile her up a bit… both of which are great ideas.  

21. Make Light Jokes About Some Of The Things She Says

This goes in line with the last one. Just try to bring some humor to the conversation. 

It’s kind of hard to do over text message… but if you can get her to laugh by saying something funny, that will give you some pretty big points. 

22. Don’t Ask For Nudes

This is just always a no

If an alpha man wants to see a woman naked… he’ll seduce her, get her into the bedroom, and she’ll take her clothes off for him. 

He doesn’t need to ask for nudes. 

23. Do Not Make It Sexual, Unless She Does – Then, Let Her Lead The Way

I can’t stress this enough. 

When a man takes the conversation to a sexual place on Tinder, he runs a massive risk of looking desperate and clingy… which is very unattractive. 

I’m not saying that it never works. I’m not saying that it doesn’t sometimes work out. I’m saying that, in my experience, it just usually ends the conversation before it has had a chance to get off the ground…

And if you were single before, you’ll probably stay that way! 

Making A Date – Tinder Texting Tips For Men Who Want To Schedule Real Dates…

Making A Date

The entire goal of matching on Tinder is to try to meet up in-person. The goal isn’t to text ceaselessly. 

So as soon as you start messaging, jump right into engaging conversation, building connection, and working toward establishing whether or not you actually want to ask this lady on a date. 

Decide quickly, and go for it before you exchange too many messages. 

24. Be Careful Not To Chat For Too Long Before Asking Her Out On A Date

This is a big ‘nice guy’ mistake. Don’t be afraid to shoot your shot. 

Engage her in some convo. Get her to laugh once or twice, and ask her out… within the span of 10 or 15 minutes! 

25. Invite Her To Do A Specific Thing, At A Specific Place, At A Specific Time 

Don’t make the mistake of asking “want to get a coffee sometime?”

Instead, specifically invite her along on your life’s journey. 

“I’m going to this book club thing on Tuesday at 6:30 pm. I would like to invite you to go with me!”

That’s how you invite a lady to do something with you! 

26. Get Her To Say ‘Yes’ – A Maybe Is A ‘No’

If a lady says ‘maybe’ without giving you an alternate… then it actually means ‘no.’ 

Disengage. If she hits you back up to say ‘yes,’ well, cool… but it probably won’t happen. 

If a woman wants to hang out with you, they’ll find a way to hang out with you. 

27. If She Seems Non-Committal, Don’t Push. Just Quietly Disengage

Women might say ‘no’ or ‘I’m not sure’ or ‘maybe’ for any number of reasons. 

But none of them mean “yes I do want to see you, I just need to solve a problem first.”

What they actually mean is “no, I’m not actually interested in seeing you, and I am trying to avoid using a ‘hard no’ so that I don’t feel guilty about it.” 

If she doesn’t seem pumped to hang out with you, move along. 

28. If She Agrees, Exchange Numbers

If she agrees to a date, make sure to exchange numbers

This helps to ensure that she isn’t a no-call, no-show. 

It’s kind of like insurance. 

If a woman truly wants to meet you, she’ll have no issue giving you her phone number. 

If she won’t give you a number… odds are very high that she’s going to flake. 

She may also flake if she gives you her number. But still… getting a number is usually at least kind of a sign that she actually wants to meet.

That isn’t always the case… but usually it is. 

In Conclusion

Hopefully, these Tinder texting tips have given you an inside look at how to win with online dating.

Just remember to be yourself, to be a gentleman, and to maintain strong, masculine frame.

Go with grace, my friends, and never give up your power!

Joshua K. Sigafus