What attracts a woman to a man at first sight?
There are hundreds of articles on this topic that discuss the science of this question.
And when we look at the science, we can see pretty quickly what women are checking out when they give us a once-over.
Men’s Health, for example, published a video that laid out some science about the eye movements of women who looked at photos of men in speedos.
And in that video, the top 3 things women noticed about men, in order, were…
- Their abs
- Their face
- Their shoulders and biceps
This changed slightly when women were looking at men who were fully clothed.
When 200 women were asked what they noticed first about a man on the street, wearing a full set of clothes, their answers were slightly different.
- The eyes
- The smile
- The height
- The hands
- The style
… in that order.
So, as a dating coach with a wealth of experience of my own… what do I have to say about this?
Let’s dive into it.
Note: If you’re interested in the content matter of this post, then you’ll definitely be interested in our master guide to dating. Make sure to check that out to get a complete rundown of the entire dating process, from beginning to end.
What’s The First Thing A Girl Sees In A Guy?
I feel like the science is pretty straightforward here.
Women check out men’s bodies in a logical sequence that is driven by their evolutionary programming.
Women are the most attracted to men who, physically, mentally, and emotionally, give off all of the high-value markers associated with being a good provider and protector.
And looks are important. However, it is really important that we, as men, understand that women make decisions about their male partners a bit differently than men make decisions about female partners.
And part of this goes back to our core sexual programming.
Men Are The Competitors
Men do not have the ability to have children of their own. Therefore, all throughout history, they have needed to attract the attention of as many high-value women as possible, and mate as often as possible, to secure the ongoing survival of their genetic legacy.
In many ways, men operate with the base core programming of trying to gain access to as many high-value women as possible.
Women Are The Selectors
Women do not need to compete for the opportunity to mate and bear children.
Semen is easy to come by for women, with so many willing male donors vying for their attention.
Even women who are not as objectively attractive will be able to find someone willing to have a one-night stand with them, at the very least!
But of course, sperm donation is not what women are searching for (at least, not usually).
Women are looking for men who display all of the high-value markers associated with being a man who can protect her and provide for her.
This has been so important to women throughout our evolutionary heritage that it is now a finely tuned sense – and women operate with this core sexual programming nearly subconsciously, often without even realizing why!
And when we take a step back and look at what attracts a woman to a man at first sight, we can see that women are actually looking at features that are significant and important to her plight for survival and security.
This is not to say that women are weak creatures who cannot fend for themselves. In fact, in our modern world, men and women are basically equal in their ability to provide for themselves and see to their own security.
But it is still important when we want to look at what exactly women find attractive in a man, because this core evolutionary sexual programming is still very much alive and at play, even in our modern day world.
And it defines what women see as being ‘attractive,’ even if they are not technically on the search for a ‘provider’ or ‘protector.’
What Part Of A Man’s Body Turns A Woman On?
When we combine both of the lists given above, we come up with these.
Now, we know that women are looking at these things when first checking out a man.
Well, it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see how these things correlate to the underlying drive for survival, and how when women first look at men, they are actually sizing them up to figure out if…
- They are dangerous
- If they have potential as a provider and/or protector
Now, I’m not a scientist. So some of this is theoretical on my part. But it seems to make sense to me that all of these body parts play a key role in how women vet men as potential mates.
Abs, Shoulders, Biceps, Height/Size
Strength and power, for hunting, gathering, and fighting off enemies.
A taller, larger man is also a more formidable protector in primitive settings. Physical size is difficult to overcome when you are working with primitive weapons and tactics.
Face, Smile, Eyes
Is he empathetic? Does he make and hold eye contact? Is he confident?
Confidence and empathy are high-value markers. Confident men are usually confident because they believe that they are effective… and if they believe it, there is at least a decent chance that there is a reason for why they believe it.
In other words – it’s not difficult to link confidence with competence… or at least, the potential for competence.
And empathetic men are more likely to be kind and to share resources.
The mouth is also centered here – and oral health is usually a solid indicator of total-body health. A man with poor oral health might be diseased, and could potentially spread that disease to the woman and her children if she mates with him.
Hands would be important for many tasks related to survival and protection. Laying traps, gripping and swinging a club, climbing, fishing, hunting, building shelter, using tools – without hands that are in good working order, a man would have been much less likely to survive in a primitive setting.
Women may also notice hands to check for weapons.
Checking the hands for weapons at a distance could give a woman a clue to possible danger.
Is he wielding a spear or a club? Is he pointing it at her, or gripping it angrily?
These are clues that may tell of imminent danger – and being aware of them could be the key to the woman’s survival.
A woman may be attracted to a man based on his looks. But how the rest of the tribe perceives him is also important to her.
Do the other men in the tribe seem to respect him? Does he seem like a powerful man? Do others tend to follow his orders? Do others act submissive around him, or do they act dominant?
Women throughout the ages have used the instincts of the tribe (both men and women) to vet potential partners.
Have you ever heard the saying women wait at the finish line and take the winners to bed?
Well, that is literally tribal vetting at work.
Men who impress the tribe and rise through the social dominance hierarchies are more likely to secure a comfortable future – and so, women are much more likely to want to mate with such men.
Nowadays, Style Is The Very First Indicator Of Status
A well-dressed man in a suit displays power, status, money, ambition, and social prowess.
A grimy man in dirty clothing, by contrast, displays a man at the lowest end of the social dominance hierarchy – maybe a bum… someone who doesn’t even have the ability to care for themselves properly, much less a woman and children.
So, What Does All Of This Mean?
As men, we have three different paths to choose from when it comes to trying to get dates with women.
- Stop trying and give up
- Try to impress women and be what they want us to be
- Be a high-value man and level up in life, developing natural alpha attraction as nature intended
Number 3 here is obviously the only option that an alpha male would consider.
Because this is the true path.
Not only is this the true, healthy, natural, and effective path for men… but it is also the path that is going to lead men to being as attractive as possible to the high-value women around them.
Men, we need to stop making excuses and acting like victims. We need to stop complaining when we can’t get women.
We need to stop putting women on a pedestal. We need to stop acting like booty is the most important thing in life.
Instead, we need to mind our business, chase our own money, pursue our purpose, and start building a true life of greatness.
When we do these things, we level up and become better men.
But we also command the respect of the highest value women at the same time, as a natural byproduct!
And once this happens, we can add high-value women to our lives as the cherry on top – something extra to make our already awesome life even more awesome!
It isn’t rocket science. It’s just attraction science.
How To Get A Woman To Notice You
The best way to get a woman to notice you is to get really good at displaying/broadcasting all of the male sexual attraction metrics that matter the most.
This would include traits like:
- Wealth/resource potential
- An athletic physique
- Strong tribal connections (a high-value network)
- Leadership ability
And the best way to do this is to embrace the alpha mentality, level up mind, body, and spirit, and always seek to be the highest value man in the room.
To learn more about how to get women to notice you, read this guide: How Men Can Project High Value While Dating – Top 5 Strategies.
What Attracts Women To Men?
The most important traits that women look for in men are indicators of power, status, wealth, resource potential, physical athleticism, a high-value network, and leadership ability. To put this into the simplest possible terms, women are attracted to men who are effective and competent.
What Attracts A Woman To A Man Physically?
Physically, women are looking for men who display masculine physical features. For the most part, this means features that broadcast a man’s ability to be a capable protector and provider. Specifically… strong, broad shoulders, an athletic v-shaped torso, a symmetrical body, a strong jawline, and enough muscles that he appears to be in good health and great physical shape. Contrary to popular belief, women actually aren’t quite as attracted to huge, hulking muscles as men think they are.
What Is The First Thing A Woman Notices About A Man?
The very first thing that a woman notices about a man is his eyes; especially in regard to his smile.
They say that eyes are the windows to the soul, and I’ve found it to be true that women are drawn to this feature first. In fact, I’ve noticed that of all the pictures I’ve used in my online dating profiles, women have tended to like/comment on the pictures that showed the best, most attractive eye contact and the most genuinely happy smile out of all of my photos.
This also makes evolutionary sense. We can learn a lot about other humans when we make eye contact and study their facial expressions. Women are probably drawn to attractive eyes and an easy smile because it conveys something peaceful and safe about a man who otherwise seems capable of being a brutal and formidable predator and/or warrior.
This would have been an important thing to take into account for our prehistoric human ancestors. It would have been in a woman’s best interest to tell friend from foe when encountering men in the wild – thus, likely why women have evolved with an instinctual desire for ‘pleasing’ and ‘comforting’ eye contact.
Books To Help You Master Your Dating Life, Starting Today
By David M. Buss
If you truly want to understand the foundational principles of human mating behavior, this book is an alpha mentality MUST READ.
By Cindy M. Meston and David M. Buss
This book is a MUST READ for anyone who wants to understand the complex nature of female mating behavior from a scientific and real-life perspective.
By Helen E. Fisher
If you want to truly understand the brain chemistry behind stuff like love, lust, attraction, desire, infatuation, etc. Then this book is a MUST READ.
By Vanessa Van Edwards
Every alpha must learn how to be charismatic – and this book is a MUST READ due to how well Vanessa Van Edwards teaches these skills within it. If you want to master your own charisma and level up your ability to succeed with people, this book is crucial!
By Kezia Noble
My favorite all-around dating book for helping men to understand how to interface with women – with plenty of awesome insights that’ll doubtlessly help you with your dating game.
By John Gottman, Julie Schwartz Gottman, Doug Abrams, and Rachel Carlton Abrams
If you want to learn how to interface with women successfully – both in a dating capacity and in relationships, then this book is a MUST READ.
At the end of the day, leveling up and becoming a high-value man is the fastest way to get a high-value woman’s attention.
So focus on your journey, and get your head in the game.
Constantly chase your purpose, and seek to level-yourself up in life.
You should also be constantly striving to learn about attraction, and incorporating that into your life as well.
Go with grace, my friends. And never give up your power.
Until next time…
Joshua K. Sigafus