What is my purpose in life? And how do I discover it?
This is a question that I had a lot of trouble answering for myself.
When I was a younger man, I had a difficult time staying focused on anything.
My first ‘real’ job was construction. I really liked it.
I actually stayed with that job for several years.
But I also believed in it. I was 100% sure that my career was going to be in construction.
Then, I ended up realizing that this was not the industry I wanted to be in.
When I decided that, I left it.
After that, I jumped from job to job, trying to find out what would make me happy.
This was all before I began the alpha male journey.
It took me years, and a lot of trial and error, to stumble upon the job that would eventually change my life.
I became a freelance writer.
This was back in 2009.
It took a lot of work and sacrifice to start this business. Leaving behind the security of a ‘regular 9 to 5 job’ and venturing out into entrepreneurship was not easy.
It was one of the most difficult things I ever did. But I never gave up at it.
I didn’t always believe that it would lead to a lot of money, but I always felt passionate about it… so I stuck with it.
Back in those days, I just lived moment-by-moment.
I didn’t make very much money, especially in the beginning… and I failed at many freelance writing projects as I learned the lessons I needed to learn.
Sometimes I had no idea how I was going to get by from day to day.
In a lot of ways, my life was a trainwreck.
But still, I stuck with my writing. It was like a focal point for me… a lighthouse in the dark, angry ocean that was my life.
Why did I stick with it?
Because I was passionate about it.
I believed in it.
And even on my worst days, I knew that freelance writing had a very important role to play in my life.
But how did I know that?
That’s a good question. Let’s talk about it.
What Is The Main Purpose Of Your Life?
This isn’t always an easy question to answer.
A lot of people feel very lost in our world.
They don’t know what their purpose is, how to figure out what it is, or what steps to take to move in the right direction.
The first thing to understand about your purpose is that it is different for everyone.
Every human will have their own unique purpose in life.
Some have an easier time of finding it than others.
But finding and following your purpose is an incredibly important step on the Alpha Journey.
Why Is It Important To Find Your Purpose In Life?
Why is it important to find your purpose in life?
This may sound over-simplistic, but the short answer is this…
“It is important to find your purpose in life because without knowing what your purpose is, you will not know how to prioritize. And if you don’t know how to prioritize, your life will never have order beyond the chaos of your emotions.”
Emotions are not a bad thing. We are humans, we have them, and we should enjoy them and use them to our advantage, to make our lives better.
Being happy… feeling ‘in love’… being infatuated… the warm, fuzzy feelings we feel when we are hugging a loved one… feelings of beauty, awe, amazement, companionship… these are all awesome things to feel… and they are all based, to some extent, on our emotions.
There is nothing wrong with feeling.
The problem is when we do not temper our feelings with a healthy dose of rational thinking.
We need rational thinking to bring order to our lives.
But we also need it to figure out where we are going, what we want to do, and how to achieve what we want to achieve.
Think of it as a ship.
Not having a purpose in life is like not having a map or a destination.
Sure, you might enjoy being on the ship… but if you only sail in circles, or randomly sail around in the ocean, relying on luck to find a land-mass to explore… well, you’re probably going to waste a lot of time not getting anywhere.
Do you really want to spend your life without a plan?
Do you really want to spend your life wandering aimlessly, without finding a greater sense of meaning for yourself?
Having a purpose gives us a map… or at the very least, a direction to sail in… so that we can use our time and effort to head toward a destination that means something to us.
And that is how we bring order to our lives… by adopting a purpose, and tempering the emotional experience of our lives with rationality, logic, planning, and strategy.
And when we know our destination, or at least the direction… that gives our lives meaning.
Because we know where we are going. We know that our effort is not in vain.
How Do I Know What My Purpose Is?
I used to have a very difficult time with the concept of purpose.
Long story short, I was once a very dogmatic, religious man… and in my faith, I saw purpose as something we received from god.
But when I left the faith, I was left with a bit of a void.
If there is no god, do we not have a purpose? Is there no higher meaning to life?
Of course, these were very rudimentary questions.
But it still took me a while to figure these things out.
And what I came to understand actually came to me as the result of a video I was watching, where Richard Dawkins… a rather famous evolutionary biologist who is probably most known for his views on atheism and evolution… was quoting a part of his book, The God Delusion.
Hearing this quote really changed my perspective.
(Please understand that, while I am not religious myself, I do not see religion in and of itself as a hindrance to the alpha male journey. This is simply a personal choice we must all make.)
I realized that the key wasn’t to find the purpose given to me by someone else, but rather, to discover and define my own purpose for myself.
I learned this…
The universe does not owe any of us a purpose. But… we are free to create one for ourselves.
This idea revolutionized my way of thinking… and I came to believe in it wholeheartedly.
I believe that the greatest, and most significant of all purposes, is the purpose we give ourselves.
Our true purpose will be that which we care the most for. It will be what we are most willing to bleed, sweat, fight, sacrifice, and die for.
So now, I knew where to find my purpose. I had to create it for myself.
But how do you do that?
Well, that is the difficult part.
But with a bit of self-awareness, I was able to tap into an understanding of this notion of ‘purpose,’ and back-engineer that in my own life, to figure out what I really believed that I wanted for myself.
And in this post, I am going to give you 11 steps for figuring it out.
What is my purpose?
Here are some specific, actionable steps for finding it.
What Is My Purpose? – 11 Steps For Discovering Your True Purpose In Life
I believe that discovering your life purpose is especially important for those on the alpha male journey.
Because knowing your purpose gives your life direction and meaning… two things that are required if you want to be strong, successful, and effective in your life.
If you don’t have a purpose, you are like a man adrift at sea.
You might have a paddle… but with no map or compass to guide you, how will you keep from getting lost?
Here are 11 steps for discovering your purpose.
Step 1: Figure Out What Excites You
If something doesn’t excite you, it likely isn’t worth your time in the long run.
Your purpose will engage you and capture your interest.
Consider sitting down and making a list of your top 5 favorite things to do, talk about, read about, and learn about.
What do you daydream about? What really gets your blood pumping?
These are the types of things that you should be looking at.
Step 2: Experiment
You may need to experiment a bit as you narrow down your focus.
Maybe you love writing, but also love woodworking and cooking!
Which one do you choose to pursue?
Well, dabble in all of them. See what sticks, and what falls by the wayside.
Step 3: Let Your Passion Be The Guide
What are you passionate about?
I love writing, and even though I do a lot of writing, I don’t look up writing tips when I have extra time on my hands!
Do you know what I do look up?
Alpha male advice, relationship advice, tips for how to succeed with women, etc.
What does this say about me?
It tells me that I am passionate about the alpha male journey!
Listen to your passions. They will help to guide you toward your purpose.
Step 4: Combine Your Talents Together To Work Toward Your Passion
I’ve been freelance writing for over 11 years now.
And I love it.
For a while, I thought that writing was my purpose.
But since then, I’ve come to find that what I really love is writing about the alpha male journey.
Writing is a passion.
But my purpose is the alpha male journey.
I didn’t set writing aside. Instead, I used it to help me follow my true purpose… which is to become the best version of myself as an alpha male, and to help other men do the same.
There are always opportunities to use your passions for your purpose!
Step 5: Don’t Overthink It
It can be really easy to overthink your purpose.
So just do what comes naturally to you!
To follow your purpose, combine…
- Your interests
- Your passions
- Things you enjoy
- And a never-give-up attitude
If you can combine these elements together, and pursue the things you enjoy to the best of your ability while also being open and willing to adapt, try new things, and follow the keen senses of your interests and passions… then you will absolutely find the true path of your purpose.
Step 6: Understand That You Must Make A Choice
Understand that ultimately, you must choose what your purpose is.
This might mean that you need to narrow things down and cut things out… even if that is difficult.
For best results, choose a purpose that you love, that excites you, that you would do for free if you weren’t getting paid to do it.
But also keep in mind that at the end of the day, you must intentionally choose how you will spend your time.
Again, don’t overthink this. If in doubt, just jump on the first idea, try it out, and see what happens.
If it turns out to be the wrong idea, change course.
Step 7: Realize That It Is Better To Experiment Than To Think About It
Don’t just sit around and think about what your purpose is.
If you do that, you may end up sitting for years and years!
Instead, take an idea and run with it.
Start a small business. Start a new group. Start taking a class. Try out a new activity.
Do something! Trial and error are the best teachers in life!
Step 8: Learn To Eliminate Distractions
This is sometimes difficult.
To a point, we need to cut down on doing things that don’t contribute to our purpose, to make room for things that do.
But what is really hard is learning to cut out things that you love… but don’t have time for.
At one point in my life, I realized that I was pursuing too many things at once.
I had to cut out some things that I really enjoyed.
But if I didn’t cut these out, I would have spent too much time on too many different things.
You must learn to narrow your focus, while also doing enough different things to maintain balance.
Step 9: Take It One Day At A Time
You may not always see the entire journey laid out before you.
If you are like most people, you will have to feel your way through.
So take your time, work hard, and see what new opportunities open up to you.
One day, you might be headed in one direction. But the next day, a huge opportunity may cause you to consider changing directions.
This is fine! This is what it means to adapt and feel things out.
Step 10: Listen To Your Instincts
Your instincts are almost always right.
When you think about what you are doing, do you feel good about it?
Does it bring you peace?
Is this something that you truly care about?
Is it something that you’re excited to share with other people?
Your instincts will tell you. You just need to listen and pay attention to them.
Step 11: Find Heroes To Look Up To, But Be Careful Of Advice!
When I was a younger man, a lot of people used to give me advice.
I usually always listened, because I thought that surely they must know better than I did.
But oh boy… was I wrong!
As it turns out, advice is only worth your time if it is coming from someone who’s life is pretty much laid out like you want your life to be!
This is why it is important to find heroes to look up to.
I didn’t know very many people who wanted to live life like I did.
So instead of taking advice from people around me, I had to find my own path… and look toward heroes for inspiration.
I looked to men like Arnold Schwarzenegger, Dwayne Johnson, Stephen King, and others… people who made huge successes of themselves through hard work, determination, and focus.
I read and listened to everything they put out, trying to gain any wisdom I could.
I also looked to fictional characters to inspire me. I learned many things from studying the archetypes of these heroes.
This has always been a huge source of inspiration to me.
So find heroes to look up to, and take their advice while pursuing what you love and believe in.
Hopefully, this article has given you some insight into how to find your purpose.
Finding meaning in life is not always easy, but it is an essential part of becoming a true, powerful alpha male.
So go with grace, my friends… and find your purpose!
And in the meantime… never give up your power!
Until next time…
-Joshua K. Sigafus